Why Women Can’t Drive: Part 4?
Women can’t drive.
Women can’t drive.
Women can’t drive.
Christ, I sound like a parrot — or worse. I nearly sound like a woman!
Not so fast. Like usual, I have a whole new trough of proof for your greedy man snouts. Proof that women can’t drive. And this proof is so man tight, I wouldn’t recommend wearing it as underpants because it will lower your sperm count.
What do Liberace and women have in common?
Well, they both love dick. I’m not talking about me. I never met Liberace. I’m talking about having sex with men. Liberace did it in a tasteful and subtle way, obviously, while women do it with velour pantsuits two sizes too small for their fat asses and with the words “Booty” and “Licious” embroidered across the broadside. Those aren’t even words.
Liberace and women also both wear so many fucking rings they can’t drive for shit.
Remember those Looney Tunes where Bugs Bunny dressed Elmer Fudd up as a woman? You know why that was so funny? Because Elmer Fudd is bald as fuck and pudgy. He doesn’t look anything like a woman. I laugh in the exact same way whenever I see a woman driving. They don’t look like drivers at all! They look like prostitutes.
Fingernails the size of cockroaches, high-heeled, platform sandals, a car ten times bigger than any woman ever has been strong enough to handle — I could go on, and I will; ridiculously sized sunglasses, fingers full of fucking rings, bangs — breasts! How the fuck are women supposed to drive with those goddamn things. That’s like a man trying to cross his legs or crying. We can’t because our enormous balls get in the way.
Go put a jewelry store on your hands and see how well you drive. It’ll be perfectly because you’re a man, but imagine if you were a women. You’d fuck it up. Your hands would be sliding all over the wheel like it was made of baby oil.
Men are so great, we could drive if it was raining baby oil. We could drive a tank with a bucket of rocks if we needed to. Who do you think has been getting all these pregnant broads to the hospital for the last hundred years? Not Madonna.
Liberace probably could drive a car wearing a dozen rings, but he didn’t have to because he made a hundred million dollars doing something a hundred times more complicated. That’s men for you. Always topping themselves with splendor like a man flavoured sundae with an Awesome Berry on top. That’s why a woman will never be president. Attractive women don’t go into politics.
Women do everything fucking backwards.
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My mother has a flawless driving record, my father has had over 50 tickets… Not that men are worse drivers either.
At least it was just herself, there was another story where this woman got her children killed trying to get by some trains. Ms train operator at least deserves points for just offing herself.
Apparently women can’t drive trains either: http://www.dailynewstribune.com/news/x572883254/Test-today-will-recons truct-fatal-MBTA-crash
To sum it up, a female MBTA operator got herself killed by crashing into the back of another train - most likely due to the fact that she was on a cell phone and was going way too fast. Seriously, you don’t even have to steer a fucking train…
I was a Leopard 1A5 driver in the Dutch army. There is nothing more kickass and manly than driving a tank through the mud, running over trees and firing the 105mm gun while Rammstein’s “Feuer Frei” is blasting through the tank’s radio system. BANG BANG!
One time we drove through the city for transport purposes and one female driver was SO impressed (and distracted) by our display of manliness, that she crashed into a car that was waiting for the red light. What a dumb slut.
I am woman, hear me whore…. Go find a women’s group, you stupid twat. If I wanted to read your stupid shit, I’d go read it anywhere else. You and your stupid views have a 99.8% lock on the mainstream media, so take it on down the road. They’ll accept you anywhere else, believe me. Wonder why the country is so screwed up? Look no farther than the mirror.
What the fuck is your problem Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks?
You can’t tell someone to deny their religion for their own insecurities, you’re probably one fucked up lesbian pretending to be a guy, thinking you and all your “associates” will be accepted into society along with the gays. GET A FUCKING CLUE YOU STUPID BITCH!
Dear God, where to start?!! The most dangerous vehicle on the road is the woman in an SUV full of kids, doing 85 MPH while talking on the phone and looking into the mirror to make sure her lipstick isn’t smeared.
Men are bad drivers? NO!! Men are in more accidents statistically because the women cause the pileups and are usually lucky enough to get away clean. They pretend they don’t see the carnage behind them when they put the PITT maneuver on somebody else because they don’t have the proper spacial orientation and situational awareness to operate a vehicle. The woman causes the spin-out, a huge chain-reaction pileup happens, and then she cruises away like it never happened. Why is there blue paint on our bumper and front quarter panel? Woman says, “I don’t know, must be from some asshole in the mall parking lot.”
I conducted a little survey of my own. I have a compact parking near my house and had a variety of woman attempt to park my Chevy Silverado 1500 Ext. Cab in it for a one month period. It took some up to an hour to attempt at parking it.
With disastrous results.
Most wouldn’t even attempt to for fear of crashing the thing. Women can’t drive worth a shit!
- Sgt. Reyes
kudos must be gay…
just kidding kidos, your a man…
So are you a woman? You Are or you are a flaming homosexual.
Woman are worse than men, its fact.
One of the most common ways to settle this is a fight.
Lets cage fight some woman and see who wins…
And being gay wouldnt help.
’cause gay men behave like bitches too…
If a guy wants some peace and quiet in his life he’s gotta live like a monk!
Tragic
Why Why are we complelled to fuck them!
Tragic.
LOL lOL You are so right!
Fucking women can’t drive worth for shit.
They’re so funny trying to drive! and getting in our way.
WOman are such bitches when compared to men.
I’d really hate women with a vengeance! If my mother wasn’t one.
Fucking women are the scourge of the earth!
Thanks for the Kudos Sam. I’ll work on my “paragraphing”
-Banzai
Curettage is so damned funny to women.
- Paul Oakenfold - Perfecto Fluoro - CD 1 - 15 - Floor Space (Our House)
Uh, no, retard, you aren’t even a human.
Ugly, lazy, stupid and worthless, no wonder even your own mother wished she aborted you!! LOL
Run into heavy traffic, shit.
You girls are such little pimple-faced cuties when you’re angry. Uh, uh, uh, uh, u shuld’ve been abort3d!!111
Oh, classic! It’s like you’re screaming to revoke cheer-leading schlorships! Man, what a day that will be, and you whores keep reminding me that it will happen quite soon. The board has been set and the game is already over.
banzai, a thousand man points for everything you said — totally agree with it all — less 375 points for not paragraphing your message. Dude, it make it REALLY hard to read when you don’t separate your points by a new paragraph, especially when you read it on a monitor in tiny type. Best to keep make paragraph no more than 8 lines if you want people to read it.
Nevertheless, great post! Enjoyed reading it.
I love this!!!. ITs soo true. Women can’t drive for fuck. Men can drive because we are the ones that invented cars, we designed them and we build the motherfuckers. We just understand how they work. Women call a car part a “doohickey or johnson rod or some stupid fucking thing like that. I can actually steer my car with my dick (sorry dick, I meant my manly body part) look, no hands. I will digress a little, women can not drive when they are paying attention, here it comes (CELLPONES) How in the world of fuck can a woman drive AND yak on a cell phone?? IMPOSSIBLE, can’t be done, you and I see it every day. they drive slower than fuck, stop at stop signs and stay planted carrying on some gossip colomn while all us poor guys are stuc behind those stupid bitches until they decide to move their fat asses out of the fucking way. It’s pathetic, it’s a the scourge of our society, women driving while on a cell phone. I’d like to stick that cell phone where their head is (up their ass). Back to women can’t drive. Every aspect of it is a joke. I was on my way to work one morning and was stuck behind some woman driving 25 mph (posted speed limit was 45 mph) while all cars were zooming past her, I finally had the chance to pass and as I did I looked over and was horrified at what I saw, this woman was fumbling about with a cell phone, trying to dial a number, balancing and trying to eat a fucking egg mc muffin and had some sort of reading material taped to her dash board and she was actually trying to drive with her knees. Holly fucking shit, now I’ve seen everything. Women can not drive for fuck, not now, not later, not ever. I have no problem with a man on a cell phone while driving, God gave us the ability to actually multi-task, besides, men are probably improving the world somehow while on that cell phone or solving a problem or inventing something, either way, when a man drives it is with purpose, to get from point “A” to point “B” the most efficcient way possible and not hang someone up in the process. We are courteious and use our turn signals. If you still need proof that men are great drivers, just watch the first “Blues Brothers” movie. Men did all the action sequesces and stunt driving and it was spectacular. Women can’t park either. If you want to have some amusment, just watch them in a mall trying to park a chevrolet suburban, hil-fucking-larious!! -Banzai
Uh, no, retard, you aren’t even a human.
Ugly, lazy, stupid and worthless, no wonder even your own mother wished she aborted you!! LOL
Run into heavy traffic, shit.
Another abortion joke. Wow woman, you’re just chaulk full of zingers aren’t you?
How do you know, if you haven’t even tried ignoring her?
Ok ok point. Will ignore now.
How do you know, if you haven’t even tried ignoring her?
Hey Diamatik… if that isn’t a text book example of logical fallacy, I don’t know what is.
Won’t work on her.
but we all know that
and that
It is therefore implied that women cannot be reasoned with, therefore:
women = stupidity
I’ll name this theorem: Luka’s proof that men are better than women.
Guys, you cannot reason with stupidity. It is beyond me why so many guys are on here trying to reason or fight fire with fire with posters such as Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks? Don’t you realise that if you had just ignored her flaming posts that she will probably have left by now?
Uh, no, retard, you aren’t even a human.
Ugly, lazy, stupid and worthless, no wonder even your own mother wished she aborted you!! LOL
Run into heavy traffic, shit.
You’re a credit to your gender.
Don’t bring the Lord into your mental disturbances, you ugly piece of crap.
They are useless fucks, dear, they need us. LOL
Uh, no, retard, you aren’t even a human.
Ugly, lazy, stupid and worthless, no wonder even your own mother wished she aborted you!! LOL
Run into heavy traffic, shit.
I take it you didn’t make it out of the second grade, dumb dick.
Hey, retard, how come insurance rates are LOWER for women? LOL Too many fucking rotten crumbs like you getting your tiny dicks sucked off by your baby sisters?
“Will this contraption let me talk to my friends that I hate the fuck out of?”
Is the above proper english, shit for brains?
Do the world a HUGE favour, louse, beat the living SHIT out of that worthless ugly fuck you call a Daddy. LOL
Another great article Dick. Amen to it.
Don’t be so hard on Antia, she was just asking a reasonable question.
wow. you’re a bit depressing, you loser fuck.
They are.
-Dick
After reading through the comments on your posts, I find it rather funny that you have quite a few women readers, even after the “No women allowed” banner.
Maybe women are as bad at reading as driving?
Married and miserable, eh? Why don’t they climb aboard the Man Boat and tell their stories in the Man Forums? Or email me.
-Dick
Because to say the devils name is to invite him into your house.
They basically hang on a thread, too much to lose.
Married and miserable, eh? Why don’t they climb aboard the Man Boat and tell their stories in the Man Forums? Or email me.
-Dick
Awsome, funny and a truthful article. It almost takes away the pain of seeing a woman enter the senate for the first time in America.
Anonymous D, you forgot to mention them trying to put on make up while driving.
Dick, love this site. It is legendary among my friends as being the only website on the entire internet that not only shows how much fuckups women are but proves it in the comments and forums.
Thanks for doing this from me and my friends (most of whom are married and miserable.)
I am a man by the way!!!
Women cannot drive because they always have cheating, lying, backstabbing and dicksucking on their minds and it interferes with their hands since they are stabbing, pounding and moving their mouth in their fantasy driving time!!
Or, in Liberace’s case, an Awesome Barry on top.
-wolfe
This is correct, Dick.
Also: women driving with cell phones, especially younger girls. It’s funny and terrifying to see a woman zooming down the freeway, not watching the road, and desperately trying to figure out the little brick of technology in her hands. “Will this contraption let me talk to my friends that I hate the fuck out of?” she thinks to herself. Her thumbs fumble around the keypad, desperately trying to hammer out a text message that, like most things women say or do, fails to communicate any meaningful information, and only serves to confuse and piss off the recipient.
Then they die in a car wreck, leaving room in the gene pool for women who know how to shut up and let the man drive. I know a fellow man who can drive while sending a text message, and I guess he uses some kind of man-sonar to watch the road while he works.