Why Women Can’t Drive: Part 4?
Women can’t drive.
Women can’t drive.
Women can’t drive.
Christ, I sound like a parrot — or worse. I nearly sound like a woman!
Not so fast. Like usual, I have a whole new trough of proof for your greedy man snouts. Proof that women can’t drive. And this proof is so man tight, I wouldn’t recommend wearing it as underpants because it will lower your sperm count.
What do Liberace and women have in common?
Well, they both love dick. I’m not talking about me. I never met Liberace. I’m talking about having sex with men. Liberace did it in a tasteful and subtle way, obviously, while women do it with velour pantsuits two sizes too small for their fat asses and with the words “Booty” and “Licious” embroidered across the broadside. Those aren’t even words.
Liberace and women also both wear so many fucking rings they can’t drive for shit.
Remember those Looney Tunes where Bugs Bunny dressed Elmer Fudd up as a woman? You know why that was so funny? Because Elmer Fudd is bald as fuck and pudgy. He doesn’t look anything like a woman. I laugh in the exact same way whenever I see a woman driving. They don’t look like drivers at all! They look like prostitutes.
Fingernails the size of cockroaches, high-heeled, platform sandals, a car ten times bigger than any woman ever has been strong enough to handle — I could go on, and I will; ridiculously sized sunglasses, fingers full of fucking rings, bangs — breasts! How the fuck are women supposed to drive with those goddamn things. That’s like a man trying to cross his legs or crying. We can’t because our enormous balls get in the way.
Go put a jewelry store on your hands and see how well you drive. It’ll be perfectly because you’re a man, but imagine if you were a women. You’d fuck it up. Your hands would be sliding all over the wheel like it was made of baby oil.
Men are so great, we could drive if it was raining baby oil. We could drive a tank with a bucket of rocks if we needed to. Who do you think has been getting all these pregnant broads to the hospital for the last hundred years? Not Madonna.
Liberace probably could drive a car wearing a dozen rings, but he didn’t have to because he made a hundred million dollars doing something a hundred times more complicated. That’s men for you. Always topping themselves with splendor like a man flavoured sundae with an Awesome Berry on top. That’s why a woman will never be president. Attractive women don’t go into politics.
Women do everything fucking backwards.
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January 5th, 2007 at 12:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: cb904b954e3ae
Dick, love this site. It is legendary among my friends as being the only website on the entire internet that not only shows how much fuckups women are but proves it in the comments and forums.
Thanks for doing this from me and my friends (most of whom are married and miserable.)
January 5th, 2007 at 12:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 24eaaa3978622
Anonymous D, you forgot to mention them trying to put on make up while driving.
January 5th, 2007 at 3:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 796c1d8aebfd3
Awsome, funny and a truthful article. It almost takes away the pain of seeing a woman enter the senate for the first time in America.
January 5th, 2007 at 3:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
Married and miserable, eh? Why don’t they climb aboard the Man Boat and tell their stories in the Man Forums? Or email me.
-Dick
January 5th, 2007 at 11:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8b3d6a975eaa8
Married and miserable, eh? Why don’t they climb aboard the Man Boat and tell their stories in the Man Forums? Or email me.
-Dick
Because to say the devils name is to invite him into your house.
They basically hang on a thread, too much to lose.
January 6th, 2007 at 8:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: e38a0247d5845
After reading through the comments on your posts, I find it rather funny that you have quite a few women readers, even after the “No women allowed” banner.
Maybe women are as bad at reading as driving?
January 7th, 2007 at 1:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 2e122cd32bd33
They are.
-Dick
January 7th, 2007 at 5:38 am - IP Man-Hash: e1aff210df75c
wow. you’re a bit depressing, you loser fuck.
January 7th, 2007 at 8:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 24eaaa3978622
Don’t be so hard on Antia, she was just asking a reasonable question.
January 8th, 2007 at 2:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9301168e59473
Another great article Dick. Amen to it.
January 23rd, 2007 at 4:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd
I take it you didn’t make it out of the second grade, dumb dick.
Hey, retard, how come insurance rates are LOWER for women? LOL Too many fucking rotten crumbs like you getting your tiny dicks sucked off by your baby sisters?
“Will this contraption let me talk to my friends that I hate the fuck out of?”
Is the above proper english, shit for brains?
Do the world a HUGE favour, louse, beat the living SHIT out of that worthless ugly fuck you call a Daddy. LOL
January 23rd, 2007 at 4:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd
Uh, no, retard, you aren’t even a human.
Ugly, lazy, stupid and worthless, no wonder even your own mother wished she aborted you!! LOL
Run into heavy traffic, shit.
January 23rd, 2007 at 4:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd
They are useless fucks, dear, they need us. LOL
January 23rd, 2007 at 4:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd
Don’t bring the Lord into your mental disturbances, you ugly piece of crap.
January 23rd, 2007 at 4:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: b9b7e9fe9772b
Uh, no, retard, you aren’t even a human.
Ugly, lazy, stupid and worthless, no wonder even your own mother wished she aborted you!! LOL
Run into heavy traffic, shit.
You’re a credit to your gender.
January 23rd, 2007 at 5:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b3d64fb1866c
Guys, you cannot reason with stupidity. It is beyond me why so many guys are on here trying to reason or fight fire with fire with posters such as Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks? Don’t you realise that if you had just ignored her flaming posts that she will probably have left by now?
January 23rd, 2007 at 6:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: da80ace5cc450
but we all know that
and that
It is therefore implied that women cannot be reasoned with, therefore:
women = stupidity
I’ll name this theorem: Luka’s proof that men are better than women.
January 23rd, 2007 at 7:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: b9b7e9fe9772b
Won’t work on her.
January 24th, 2007 at 3:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b3d64fb1866c
Hey Diamatik… if that isn’t a text book example of logical fallacy, I don’t know what is.
January 24th, 2007 at 3:54 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b3d64fb1866c
How do you know, if you haven’t even tried ignoring her?