Why Women Hate Sex: Part 2
We all know women hate sex because they’re lousy at it. The missionary position proved that long before I was on Earth cracking the whip on the ass of women all over the place.
But why else do women hate the Horizontal Mambo? I’m a man so I don’t know the meaning of the word “stop” or “enough is enough”. That’s why we have things like cars and automatic pistols. If women ran the world we would have stopped after inventing a pile of wood and right before lighting it on fire.
Enough is enough! You already stacked all that wood!
Men are all about the extra mile.
Women hate the Beast with Two Backs because it takes the iron-fisted, tight-assed control over they crave over their lives and chucks it against the rocks. It also says ‘fuck you,’ at the same time like it’s really rubbing it in there for good measure. There’s only one thing women love more than diamonds, drama, and abusive boyfriends; and that’s control. As a man and having the natural inclination towards math that women lack, you can put 2 and 2 together: women hate fucking.
Men don’t need that delusion of control. We don’t live our lives in fantasy worlds where animals are children and genetics and ill-fitting trousers cause fatness over Frappaccinos and gold brickery. We men are perfectly happy no matter how things turn out because we know we did our man-best. We are the best so we did our best. It only makes sense.
That’s why men like fast cars, loose women, and short conversations. You might smash into a cliff or get your wallet stolen at any moment — or you might get yourself into a hilarious misunderstanding! The only thing you know for sure is that you’ll be on the move. That means progress.
Women need to feel like they have control over their lives because they don’t want responsibility over anything. They’re all children, and growing up for women is exactly like what you think would happen to those captive dolphins if they released any of them into the wild.
You know what I’m talking about? Probably — because you’re a man. Women are always bitching and moaning about dolphins and animals in zoos, but anyone with a brain knows from a mile away that those creatures would be completely fucked in the wild. That’s women without their precious rules and control. It’s like how your mother told you not to eat cookies and Kool-Aid all day when you were little because it would wreck your appetite. Fuck it. I’ll wreck my appetite if my desires incline me to do so. Then I’ll deal with the consequences. How bad could they be? I’m a man so I can handle anything life throws at me.
And that’s the point. That’s why we men like making the Bedroom Banjo and women don’t. We do what we want. We don’t shirk responsibility for our desires and we make our own rules.
We also don’t need our mothers telling us what to do when we’re thirty. That’s the last thing you need at that age; a woman telling you what to do.
Related Articles:
June 14th, 2006 at 8:34 am - IP Man-Hash: 5950bb08d3016
So many good points, I don’t even know where to start here.
Control, well yes, every one of them is a control freak. So anything that takes that away from them they don’t do. This is also why women never do any of the dangerous and dirty jobs, because you can’t always be in control of everything when you’re on an oil rig or in the special forces.
Men love adventure, hence why most of us always go the extra mile, in every part of our man-lives, including pleasing a woman.
The animal part cracks me up. THey bitch and whine aboput cheetahs being held in captivity when 80% of cheetah cubs DIE in the wild. Not only this, but their life expectancy is halved in the wild. You wanna see extinction, then let all zoo animals loose. Besides most cheetahs live on or near large ranches in the wild and attack domesticated game, hence why they get shot by farmers all the time. The small percentage you actually see on TV are from maybe the small part of their habitat that’s left.
Taking advice from mom when you’re 30. I’ve ran across this myself in relationships. Why is it that so many women must talk to mom every single day.
Grow up already you’re an adult
June 14th, 2006 at 8:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 356b2e2244d02
Women complain about captive animals because they are jealous of them.
Think about it… they have everything provided for them - free food, shelter etc. Not to mention all the attention you can get for doing fuck all, except sitting on their asses.
(Some of them even get free handouts)
- Every Woman’s dream.
June 14th, 2006 at 10:10 am - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
mike, that’s the most brilliant point I’ve heard this week.
-Dick
June 14th, 2006 at 12:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
And they know, as Lukasz says, they’d have half the lifespan in the wild.
Good one, gents.
-wolfe
June 14th, 2006 at 1:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 160c1d5d6fc66
How long do you think it will take before some dumbass woman takes “lack of control” for RAAAAYYYYYPE in this column? I’d bet it’s before the 10th comment, or if not, most certainly before the 15th comment.
June 14th, 2006 at 2:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5950bb08d3016
That’s right, us men are raping the oppressed animals.
And mike, kudos on your brilliant point
June 15th, 2006 at 7:27 am - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
I guess that explains why all those pandas and dolphins are so pissed off.
-Big Al
June 15th, 2006 at 6:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: e616b9a6becce
Mike Said: “Think about it… they have everything provided for them - free food, shelter etc. Not to mention all the attention you can get for doing fuck all, except sitting on their asses.”
That is it!!! That is the solution, Dick we create zoos for women, they can yap all they want and still stay out of our way.
June 16th, 2006 at 2:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 05f28664822eb
This topic reminded me of how intelligent Dolphins are, and they much smarter than our women. They have saved many lives. They can be taught to do many things and they don’t demand or complain. They do so much more for mankind than our women do.
Maybe this is why that English female married a Dolphin, because she admired the Dolphins intelligence which she lacks.
June 16th, 2006 at 4:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: e1702f4af0072
More on men and screwing with nature.
http://www.livescience.com/scienceoffiction/050926_armed_dolphins.html
June 16th, 2006 at 4:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: e1702f4af0072
Contrast the US version with the peaceloving pink
elephantdolphin.http://www.livescience.com/animalworld/ap_060122_pink_dolphins.html
June 16th, 2006 at 4:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: e1702f4af0072
Oh and by the way, you can all go to hell.
Have a nice day.
-Female
June 16th, 2006 at 5:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 004e16085a961
hahaha you guys hit the jackpot with all your answers.. my g/f just called and starting bitching at me left and right.. i was like uhh.. stfu!!! honestly, we men don’t want to hear this shit on and on.. the last thing coming from a hard days work is wanting to hear her bitch about stupid shit!
June 17th, 2006 at 6:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 442ae7cfaf56b
Big Al,
Login, as some of these dipshits will sooner or later copy as they have no life of their own, only the feminazy creed to follow which as hollow and vacant as communisn has demonstrated.
June 17th, 2006 at 10:41 am - IP Man-Hash: edcdbb472912b
Female really we don’t like having to deal with you here. You weren’t invited and have been asked to leave but yet you continue spewing endless amounts of shite upon us. Bitching and complaining is all that you women are good for? If you had any brains you could make someone happy including yourself but you prove that you can’t.
Now why would you think we would want to join you down there?
June 17th, 2006 at 4:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
From Female’s article:
Well, I guess we know what Female does on the weekends.
-wolfe
June 17th, 2006 at 5:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: e1702f4af0072
Oh gee wolfe, I couldn’t be doing anything so scientific on my weekends, I’m too busy being crafty. As you can imagine, I just can’t wait until thimble making day.
http://www.nms.ac.uk/costume/whatson/children.asp?m=3&s=4
I heart digitubalists.
June 17th, 2006 at 6:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9fe794327d1c5
Oh, great, she’s corrupting children.
April 26th, 2007 at 11:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 83cd5969360a7
What the hell?? I have been with dozens of women and NONE of them hated sex. I have found that allot of them have been with some really inexperienced men, but none that hate sex.
How to make your woman not “Hate Sex”
(Presented in men language)
1) Sex is not an “act”, but rather a process.
2) Women need at least 30min/45min to get excited.
(NOTE: You can speed this up by doing things like calling her at work and coming up with something erotic to say, and then letting them think about what is going to happen later)
3) Massage… Massage… Massage… (Oil Massage is easy and damn effective)
4) Go oral… Met many women tell me that they did not like oral, but never found one I gave oral to that didnt enjoy it…
5) Leave the penetration for last…. It is the climaxing moment
6) Move slowly and controlled…. Do not thrust really hard and fast until either she is ready or wlling…
April 26th, 2007 at 12:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Women can’t have orgasms, so all that shit you’re saying won’t matter. Sex is all about the man and his ability to ejaculate. All the rest is just fodder.
June 4th, 2007 at 2:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 5864566b9fcca
Jim J, You bring up good points, but I have 2 ex wives and felt that I was pretty good at handling the salame, oral and other hocus pocus in bed. To my knowledge, have never had any complaints, in fact I’ve had quite a few compliments!
THAT IS HOW THEY GET YOU TO MARRY THEM!!!
How soon they forget about the excellent pre-marriage sex!
All the “oooohs” and “aaaaahs” are mere smoke and mirrors until they get that legal contract.
As an example, during the dating phase, I had more moves in bed than a Chinese checker board. It all was fine pre-marriage, but the same foreplay and sexual performance after marriage, it was like “that’s the best you can do??”
The fact is that before you marry, you ARE the king and they’ll hang on your every word plus make you feel like you can walk on water.
But after you marry though, they wonder how you even manage to dress your self (it is that blatant).
Your notes on sex are terrific, but there insn’t a man alive that doesn’t already know that. Sex has been around a long time and I’m sure in all that time we men have experimentd alot and have pretty much figured out what works and what doesn’t.
There are two types of sex, pre-marriage sex and post marriage sex.
Pre-marriage sex is fantastic, fun and should always be this way (far better than internet porn), but something weird happens in post marriage sex though, can’t quite put my finger on it.
From a mans perspective our sexual performance is exactly the same prior to the wedding as it is the next day.
To the woman though, and with the marriage contract in place, they no longer have to pretend to let you know that you’re the greatest. What gives?
What are you going to do about it, she already knows she gets all your shit if you complain.
and believe me, in post marriage sex, they are not shy about letting you know about your short cummings (real or imagined).
Let’s face it, women are cut out of the same cloth, sure, there are subtle differences, but generally they are all the same.
Physically speaking, they all have 3 orifices (9 if you count their nostrils, ears and eye sockets, you would need crisco oil and a shoe horn for the latter 6 orifices), two hands, cleavages and if your really creative, can find a host of other places to park your man-missle, but really, that’s about it.
Aside from technique, positions and sex toys, you really don’t have to much more to work with (maybe an egg beater or jack-hammer). Women are too irrational for anything else to work. You’re best bet is to leave a stack of benjamins on the pillow when your’re through.
I’ve seen books that show that there are over a thousand different sexual positions, but really, unless your a contortionist, we men are only interested in 69 of them.
I hate to say it, but to women, it’s all about the Benjamins!
I work in an office invironment and have access to many women, and am casually dating a handfull of them, but to be truthful, they can’t wait to get you to the alter. They try and financially size you up (some are subtle, some are not)
I hear it every day. The married ones just want to quit working and stay home or work part time, the single ones if they are young, pretty and have no kids have a chance at getting a sucessful man.
If they are single moms (1 or more kids), they’re pretty much screwed. Sex is just another tool they have in their toolbox to trap.
Buyer beware!
-Banzai
June 12th, 2007 at 11:18 am - IP Man-Hash: a3267c5e9ad14
June 12th, 2007 at 11:25 am - IP Man-Hash: a3267c5e9ad14
Women can orgasm ……….However I can see why you would think we aren’t capable- Since you think sex is all about the man and his ability to ejaculate, you wouldn’t be able to please a women if your life depended on it.
June 12th, 2007 at 11:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
I won’t be able to please a woman because women can’t be pleased.
June 12th, 2007 at 12:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1efed18bc64f6
Sex is stupid. Controlled substances are a more than adequate substitute.
June 12th, 2007 at 12:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Why would I want to live forever?
With cars you actually get your monies’ worth.
- BASEMENT JAXX - Smoke bubbles
June 12th, 2007 at 2:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
… and prostitutes.
June 12th, 2007 at 5:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
Judging by the Centers for Disease Control’s epidemiology stats, you often get more than your money’s worth. Of course ‘working girls’ are not alone in that.
-wolfe
June 13th, 2007 at 12:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Deadly car accidents are just evolution at work. Both behind the wheel and before it.
Nothing nobly functional about vds, though.
- Page One - Lemon Jelly’s
August 9th, 2007 at 11:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
I don’t think I’ve ever been so entertained by such a group of losers, retards and assholes before. You men truly think you’ve got women figured out? Truly, this site is for very insecure (read: small) men, indeed. Good luck on keeping the male species alive without the help of a WOMAN. And God help the woman who’d fuck any of you!
August 9th, 2007 at 11:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
With a unique charisma like yours, everyone, even your loser interchangable ‘friends’ would notice if you were one day to drop off the face of the earth. They might even bring up the topic at one of their ‘dance parties’ after they’re done talking about all the people they didn’t invite.
Wishing that foreskin around the vagina the best,
Doubtfish
August 10th, 2007 at 12:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Awww…you’re just jealous because my friends and I don’t spend our time having the female-equivalent of dick-measuring contests. You boys are so insecure! You’d never survive a circle of catty women friends! They’d eat you alive.
August 10th, 2007 at 12:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
You should probably shut up before you start humiliating yourself further. Usually a few posts after a slut gets this far she starts talking about pulling male fetuses out of her vagina, or making up bible versus. It kind of gives feminism a bad name to be honest with you, and I doubt it alleviates any of the misconceptions that us Neanderthals have about the superior female race.
With love,
Doubtfish
August 10th, 2007 at 12:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Gosh, any woman with a brain is such a threat!!! I’d never humiliate myself, either….I do know how to read and write. Got ya there, huh?!?
August 10th, 2007 at 12:45 am - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
So do I. Plenty of illiterates can read the works of Homer, or any of the other great men of times past. That does not mean that they can comprehend it.
It’s kind of like how you have a bunch of coke-addled neurons firing out in random directions, but no mind to speak of.
You talk of insecurity, and then you say you are better than other people, without giving anything other than a few crack-pot assumptions.
Reminding you that you live in a man’s world,
Doubtfish
August 10th, 2007 at 9:45 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Ah, yes. It is a man’s world, isn’t it? That’s why we have to be sure “Do not ingest” appears on boxes of detergent to keep you boys out of trouble. Any woman could have figured that out on her own.
August 10th, 2007 at 10:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Well, I could spend the rest of my free time taking you all down, one by one, but you know the saying…. It’s just not fair to engage in a battle of wits with someone (or some gender) who’s completely unarmed.
It’s been fun, boys, really. Nothing like a good laugh, especially when I think that you all really take yourselves seriously. I’ll lay you odds that at least half of this “club” is made up of undersexed, female-dominated husbands, and the rest of you odd lot of fuck-ups and loud-mouths are just so horny and desperate all you can do is bitch about women.
Do you really think women sit around ranting and raving about how stupid and genetically-inferior men are? Nope: been there, done that. We’re just better than you, boys. Learn to love it!
August 10th, 2007 at 10:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
Some one is a little river troll. See if I protect you the next time I hear some screams from a dark alley ;D
Wishing you the best of luck in the near future, babycakes,
Your better
August 10th, 2007 at 10:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
The problem is, gurls can’t do anything for themselves. No loss man’s points here, Necro, and I’d dare to question the earlier deduction. While I did encourage the slut, I did so indirectly, forcing facts in the face of her delusions.
The funny thing is, gurlz say all sorts of stupid things just to stir shit up. To them it’s empowerment, but when a man says something with justification, he’s an asshole.
No, you aren’t better than us. Otherwise you would be screaming for justice and a fair system; one which challenges those superior genius-whores.
We need to raise the requirements for gurlz above those for men. Otherwise they will decay in a black-hole of self-loathing, compensation, and fantasy. Well, I’m sure there’s a bit of intellect there somewhere.
Good luck spamming a forum which influences nothing, not even you. No, surely not - you said it.
August 10th, 2007 at 6:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Only someone who is truly out of things to say would have resort to name calling.
–Your favorite little river troll
August 10th, 2007 at 6:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
No, doubtfist, I don’t say “shit” just to “stir things up.” It’s fun to fuck with the mentally-handicapped. And, here, well, it’s like fish in a barrel!
August 10th, 2007 at 7:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9b0b9a4016949
Actually J, getting pussy is like fish in a barrel and to hear that you’re unintelligent from a Jarhead? You should be blushing in shame, wailing and in the fetal position. Furthermore, why would any man want a “circle of catty female friends”? I have a black book full of “know how to shut the fuck up horny and successful females” so, no I don’t want to go to the Twinkie conference with you. Sowie! I think it’s you who lacks self confidence. Either that or you’re a complete whore who is under the mistaken impression that your pussy is a shrine yadda yadda yadda.. we’ve heard it from a million other bitches like you before. HA! You’re another grain of sand in the never-ending line of pouty, whiny, feminist dykes that come and complain about how-in-the-fuck-I-decide-to-think matters to the pea-brain that rattles around in the sea of shit-you-call-for-brains. You’d be a whole lot more usefull if you just closed that little potty mouth of yours. BITCH.
August 10th, 2007 at 8:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: fc79c683fa180
HA!! Touche.
August 10th, 2007 at 8:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 84f51b832bd91
Instead you and your friends stand around and try to out slut each other and call each other BFF to their faces then tear each other down behind their backs.
*golf clap* Well done.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Dear Miguel Reyes:
My, now who has the potty mouth? Now, what kind of head injury did you sustain, dear? Did your mom drop you as a baby? That would explain EVERYTHING. GO MOM!
Try and make me shut my “potty mouth,” dear. I’ve taken down bigger pricks than you! It’s really fun, too!
And no, I’m not a dyke. Figured you’d call me one…after all, you run out of shit to say when you’ve got NOTHING WORTH HEARING!
August 11th, 2007 at 7:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: fc79c683fa180
J, I know you really think you’re hot shit, and are really handing these guys their asses and stuff, but in actuality you are just tiresome. When you learn to form an independent thought, why don’t you come back and try to participate in an intelligent discussion? As it is now, you are just an embarrassment to women everywhere.
August 11th, 2007 at 8:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
As are you, KellyMac.
Silly prick, brains are for girls!
Love ya!
August 11th, 2007 at 9:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
You aren’t impressive. Your type is just boring and fills up the forums with your drivel. Shut up for a change so that someone who has something to say isn’t cornered out by your incessant bitching. Really, if we’re so awful for what we believe, you’ve got to be the sphincter of civilization, making up awful views and claims for pure shock value and refusing to back them.
Yeah, maybe some one will back you for saying male fetuses should be pulled right out of the womb. Unfortunately for you, however, that just strengthens our convictions against your type, and henceforth erodes the gurl-power agenda further.
You just give us more power in the process by providing additional evidence against feminism. You’re a walking breathing abortion of society, an off-shoot to be hidden and coddled away from the bad mean fact-mongers. You have no right to form any bias or opinion on the matter, and yet you attempt to.
Now shut the fuck up like everyone is telling you, sweetie. We are keeping track of what you say, you know, and you’ve said a lot of things you will probably regret later.
August 11th, 2007 at 11:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: fc79c683fa180
Um, that’s not really what I meant by an independent thought, or intelligent conversation…
Like most feminists, however, you are contradictory. Are you saying that I’m an embarrassment to women, or are you calling me a silly prick? Can’t be both, you moron.
August 12th, 2007 at 12:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Doubt:
I’m not scared. Maybe you should be.
August 12th, 2007 at 12:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
KellyMac:
You are an embarrassment to humanity, and a silly prick. Neat trick.
August 12th, 2007 at 1:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Women hate each other’s guts.
Men are better than women.
- Nina Simone - Sinnerman
August 12th, 2007 at 1:07 am - IP Man-Hash: c406e944e31e4
Kelly is also a male name, so perhaps J thinks KellyMac is a male.
Men are not better than women.
-The Flaming Lips - The Wand
November 1st, 2007 at 6:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6fc645e9b4eb7
You’d probably be the one making her scream…
November 14th, 2007 at 3:25 am - IP Man-Hash: ec074866b4c02
J, you really think I give a crap about what you do with your friends? I swear, I’m a woman and I get along better with men. And I can drive btw.
My opinion on feminists is that they’re just some women with no self-esteem or confidence and they want things for granted to improve that or to bash men because of their insecurities. Still, men that treat women like crap are worse, but being stupid about it as a woman is plain moronic.
And as I said before… To enjoy sex with a man, you must be able to enjoy your own body. Women fail to do that, so they shouldn’t expect a guy to please them. A lot of men take it too quick or are bad at it, but why not help him improve? Oh, because that would mean you’d have to actually move and not lay there like a starfish.
I like how J describes exactly herself when she calls others stuff.
March 29th, 2008 at 8:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 271ca43bb0c55
if you’re better, how come your IQs are lower?
April 10th, 2008 at 6:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: bf5d7f845a2c5
OMG, are you kidding me? Are there really people around that still believe this?
May 26th, 2008 at 8:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5bf243cf8f107
Im curious of your veiws to gay man who act like Woman. I would assume they would be an exception to your rule of manness, so wouldnt there in turn also be exceptions of woman to your rules of Woman. I mean do you really think this stuff of your own mother?