Why Women Hate Sex: Part 2
We all know women hate sex because they’re lousy at it. The missionary position proved that long before I was on Earth cracking the whip on the ass of women all over the place.
But why else do women hate the Horizontal Mambo? I’m a man so I don’t know the meaning of the word “stop” or “enough is enough”. That’s why we have things like cars and automatic pistols. If women ran the world we would have stopped after inventing a pile of wood and right before lighting it on fire.
Enough is enough! You already stacked all that wood!
Men are all about the extra mile.
Women hate the Beast with Two Backs because it takes the iron-fisted, tight-assed control over they crave over their lives and chucks it against the rocks. It also says ‘fuck you,’ at the same time like it’s really rubbing it in there for good measure. There’s only one thing women love more than diamonds, drama, and abusive boyfriends; and that’s control. As a man and having the natural inclination towards math that women lack, you can put 2 and 2 together: women hate fucking.
Men don’t need that delusion of control. We don’t live our lives in fantasy worlds where animals are children and genetics and ill-fitting trousers cause fatness over Frappaccinos and gold brickery. We men are perfectly happy no matter how things turn out because we know we did our man-best. We are the best so we did our best. It only makes sense.
That’s why men like fast cars, loose women, and short conversations. You might smash into a cliff or get your wallet stolen at any moment — or you might get yourself into a hilarious misunderstanding! The only thing you know for sure is that you’ll be on the move. That means progress.
Women need to feel like they have control over their lives because they don’t want responsibility over anything. They’re all children, and growing up for women is exactly like what you think would happen to those captive dolphins if they released any of them into the wild.
You know what I’m talking about? Probably — because you’re a man. Women are always bitching and moaning about dolphins and animals in zoos, but anyone with a brain knows from a mile away that those creatures would be completely fucked in the wild. That’s women without their precious rules and control. It’s like how your mother told you not to eat cookies and Kool-Aid all day when you were little because it would wreck your appetite. Fuck it. I’ll wreck my appetite if my desires incline me to do so. Then I’ll deal with the consequences. How bad could they be? I’m a man so I can handle anything life throws at me.
And that’s the point. That’s why we men like making the Bedroom Banjo and women don’t. We do what we want. We don’t shirk responsibility for our desires and we make our own rules.
We also don’t need our mothers telling us what to do when we’re thirty. That’s the last thing you need at that age; a woman telling you what to do.
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Oh, great, she’s corrupting children.
Oh gee wolfe, I couldn’t be doing anything so scientific on my weekends, I’m too busy being crafty. As you can imagine, I just can’t wait until thimble making day.
http://www.nms.ac.uk/costume/whatson/children.asp?m=3&s=4
I heart digitubalists.
From Female’s article:
Well, I guess we know what Female does on the weekends.
-wolfe
Female really we don’t like having to deal with you here. You weren’t invited and have been asked to leave but yet you continue spewing endless amounts of shite upon us. Bitching and complaining is all that you women are good for? If you had any brains you could make someone happy including yourself but you prove that you can’t.
Now why would you think we would want to join you down there?
Big Al,
Login, as some of these dipshits will sooner or later copy as they have no life of their own, only the feminazy creed to follow which as hollow and vacant as communisn has demonstrated.
hahaha you guys hit the jackpot with all your answers.. my g/f just called and starting bitching at me left and right.. i was like uhh.. stfu!!! honestly, we men don’t want to hear this shit on and on.. the last thing coming from a hard days work is wanting to hear her bitch about stupid shit!
Oh and by the way, you can all go to hell.
Have a nice day.
-Female
Contrast the US version with the peaceloving pink
elephantdolphin.http://www.livescience.com/animalworld/ap_060122_pink_dolphins.html
More on men and screwing with nature.
http://www.livescience.com/scienceoffiction/050926_armed_dolphins.html
This topic reminded me of how intelligent Dolphins are, and they much smarter than our women. They have saved many lives. They can be taught to do many things and they don’t demand or complain. They do so much more for mankind than our women do.
Maybe this is why that English female married a Dolphin, because she admired the Dolphins intelligence which she lacks.
Mike Said: “Think about it… they have everything provided for them - free food, shelter etc. Not to mention all the attention you can get for doing fuck all, except sitting on their asses.”
That is it!!! That is the solution, Dick we create zoos for women, they can yap all they want and still stay out of our way.
I guess that explains why all those pandas and dolphins are so pissed off.
-Big Al
That’s right, us men are raping the oppressed animals.
And mike, kudos on your brilliant point
How long do you think it will take before some dumbass woman takes “lack of control” for RAAAAYYYYYPE in this column? I’d bet it’s before the 10th comment, or if not, most certainly before the 15th comment.
And they know, as Lukasz says, they’d have half the lifespan in the wild.
Good one, gents.
-wolfe
mike, that’s the most brilliant point I’ve heard this week.
-Dick
Women complain about captive animals because they are jealous of them.
Think about it… they have everything provided for them - free food, shelter etc. Not to mention all the attention you can get for doing fuck all, except sitting on their asses.
(Some of them even get free handouts)
- Every Woman’s dream.
So many good points, I don’t even know where to start here.
Control, well yes, every one of them is a control freak. So anything that takes that away from them they don’t do. This is also why women never do any of the dangerous and dirty jobs, because you can’t always be in control of everything when you’re on an oil rig or in the special forces.
Men love adventure, hence why most of us always go the extra mile, in every part of our man-lives, including pleasing a woman.
The animal part cracks me up. THey bitch and whine aboput cheetahs being held in captivity when 80% of cheetah cubs DIE in the wild. Not only this, but their life expectancy is halved in the wild. You wanna see extinction, then let all zoo animals loose. Besides most cheetahs live on or near large ranches in the wild and attack domesticated game, hence why they get shot by farmers all the time. The small percentage you actually see on TV are from maybe the small part of their habitat that’s left.
Taking advice from mom when you’re 30. I’ve ran across this myself in relationships. Why is it that so many women must talk to mom every single day.
Grow up already you’re an adult