Why Women Hate Sex: Part 2
We all know women hate sex because they’re lousy at it. The missionary position proved that long before I was on Earth cracking the whip on the ass of women all over the place.
But why else do women hate the Horizontal Mambo? I’m a man so I don’t know the meaning of the word “stop” or “enough is enough”. That’s why we have things like cars and automatic pistols. If women ran the world we would have stopped after inventing a pile of wood and right before lighting it on fire.
Enough is enough! You already stacked all that wood!
Men are all about the extra mile.
Women hate the Beast with Two Backs because it takes the iron-fisted, tight-assed control over they crave over their lives and chucks it against the rocks. It also says ‘fuck you,’ at the same time like it’s really rubbing it in there for good measure. There’s only one thing women love more than diamonds, drama, and abusive boyfriends; and that’s control. As a man and having the natural inclination towards math that women lack, you can put 2 and 2 together: women hate fucking.
Men don’t need that delusion of control. We don’t live our lives in fantasy worlds where animals are children and genetics and ill-fitting trousers cause fatness over Frappaccinos and gold brickery. We men are perfectly happy no matter how things turn out because we know we did our man-best. We are the best so we did our best. It only makes sense.
That’s why men like fast cars, loose women, and short conversations. You might smash into a cliff or get your wallet stolen at any moment — or you might get yourself into a hilarious misunderstanding! The only thing you know for sure is that you’ll be on the move. That means progress.
Women need to feel like they have control over their lives because they don’t want responsibility over anything. They’re all children, and growing up for women is exactly like what you think would happen to those captive dolphins if they released any of them into the wild.
You know what I’m talking about? Probably — because you’re a man. Women are always bitching and moaning about dolphins and animals in zoos, but anyone with a brain knows from a mile away that those creatures would be completely fucked in the wild. That’s women without their precious rules and control. It’s like how your mother told you not to eat cookies and Kool-Aid all day when you were little because it would wreck your appetite. Fuck it. I’ll wreck my appetite if my desires incline me to do so. Then I’ll deal with the consequences. How bad could they be? I’m a man so I can handle anything life throws at me.
And that’s the point. That’s why we men like making the Bedroom Banjo and women don’t. We do what we want. We don’t shirk responsibility for our desires and we make our own rules.
We also don’t need our mothers telling us what to do when we’re thirty. That’s the last thing you need at that age; a woman telling you what to do.
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April 26th, 2007 at 11:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 83cd5969360a7
What the hell?? I have been with dozens of women and NONE of them hated sex. I have found that allot of them have been with some really inexperienced men, but none that hate sex.
How to make your woman not “Hate Sex”
(Presented in men language)
1) Sex is not an “act”, but rather a process.
2) Women need at least 30min/45min to get excited.
(NOTE: You can speed this up by doing things like calling her at work and coming up with something erotic to say, and then letting them think about what is going to happen later)
3) Massage… Massage… Massage… (Oil Massage is easy and damn effective)
4) Go oral… Met many women tell me that they did not like oral, but never found one I gave oral to that didnt enjoy it…
5) Leave the penetration for last…. It is the climaxing moment
6) Move slowly and controlled…. Do not thrust really hard and fast until either she is ready or wlling…
April 26th, 2007 at 12:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Women can’t have orgasms, so all that shit you’re saying won’t matter. Sex is all about the man and his ability to ejaculate. All the rest is just fodder.
June 4th, 2007 at 2:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 5864566b9fcca
Jim J, You bring up good points, but I have 2 ex wives and felt that I was pretty good at handling the salame, oral and other hocus pocus in bed. To my knowledge, have never had any complaints, in fact I’ve had quite a few compliments!
THAT IS HOW THEY GET YOU TO MARRY THEM!!!
How soon they forget about the excellent pre-marriage sex!
All the “oooohs” and “aaaaahs” are mere smoke and mirrors until they get that legal contract.
As an example, during the dating phase, I had more moves in bed than a Chinese checker board. It all was fine pre-marriage, but the same foreplay and sexual performance after marriage, it was like “that’s the best you can do??”
The fact is that before you marry, you ARE the king and they’ll hang on your every word plus make you feel like you can walk on water.
But after you marry though, they wonder how you even manage to dress your self (it is that blatant).
Your notes on sex are terrific, but there insn’t a man alive that doesn’t already know that. Sex has been around a long time and I’m sure in all that time we men have experimentd alot and have pretty much figured out what works and what doesn’t.
There are two types of sex, pre-marriage sex and post marriage sex.
Pre-marriage sex is fantastic, fun and should always be this way (far better than internet porn), but something weird happens in post marriage sex though, can’t quite put my finger on it.
From a mans perspective our sexual performance is exactly the same prior to the wedding as it is the next day.
To the woman though, and with the marriage contract in place, they no longer have to pretend to let you know that you’re the greatest. What gives?
What are you going to do about it, she already knows she gets all your shit if you complain.
and believe me, in post marriage sex, they are not shy about letting you know about your short cummings (real or imagined).
Let’s face it, women are cut out of the same cloth, sure, there are subtle differences, but generally they are all the same.
Physically speaking, they all have 3 orifices (9 if you count their nostrils, ears and eye sockets, you would need crisco oil and a shoe horn for the latter 6 orifices), two hands, cleavages and if your really creative, can find a host of other places to park your man-missle, but really, that’s about it.
Aside from technique, positions and sex toys, you really don’t have to much more to work with (maybe an egg beater or jack-hammer). Women are too irrational for anything else to work. You’re best bet is to leave a stack of benjamins on the pillow when your’re through.
I’ve seen books that show that there are over a thousand different sexual positions, but really, unless your a contortionist, we men are only interested in 69 of them.
I hate to say it, but to women, it’s all about the Benjamins!
I work in an office invironment and have access to many women, and am casually dating a handfull of them, but to be truthful, they can’t wait to get you to the alter. They try and financially size you up (some are subtle, some are not)
I hear it every day. The married ones just want to quit working and stay home or work part time, the single ones if they are young, pretty and have no kids have a chance at getting a sucessful man.
If they are single moms (1 or more kids), they’re pretty much screwed. Sex is just another tool they have in their toolbox to trap.
Buyer beware!
-Banzai
June 12th, 2007 at 11:18 am - IP Man-Hash: a3267c5e9ad14
June 12th, 2007 at 11:25 am - IP Man-Hash: a3267c5e9ad14
Women can orgasm ……….However I can see why you would think we aren’t capable- Since you think sex is all about the man and his ability to ejaculate, you wouldn’t be able to please a women if your life depended on it.
June 12th, 2007 at 11:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
I won’t be able to please a woman because women can’t be pleased.
June 12th, 2007 at 12:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1efed18bc64f6
Sex is stupid. Controlled substances are a more than adequate substitute.
June 12th, 2007 at 12:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Why would I want to live forever?
With cars you actually get your monies’ worth.
- BASEMENT JAXX - Smoke bubbles
June 12th, 2007 at 2:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
… and prostitutes.
June 12th, 2007 at 5:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
Judging by the Centers for Disease Control’s epidemiology stats, you often get more than your money’s worth. Of course ‘working girls’ are not alone in that.
-wolfe
June 13th, 2007 at 12:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Deadly car accidents are just evolution at work. Both behind the wheel and before it.
Nothing nobly functional about vds, though.
- Page One - Lemon Jelly’s
August 9th, 2007 at 11:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
I don’t think I’ve ever been so entertained by such a group of losers, retards and assholes before. You men truly think you’ve got women figured out? Truly, this site is for very insecure (read: small) men, indeed. Good luck on keeping the male species alive without the help of a WOMAN. And God help the woman who’d fuck any of you!
August 9th, 2007 at 11:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
With a unique charisma like yours, everyone, even your loser interchangable ‘friends’ would notice if you were one day to drop off the face of the earth. They might even bring up the topic at one of their ‘dance parties’ after they’re done talking about all the people they didn’t invite.
Wishing that foreskin around the vagina the best,
Doubtfish
August 10th, 2007 at 12:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Awww…you’re just jealous because my friends and I don’t spend our time having the female-equivalent of dick-measuring contests. You boys are so insecure! You’d never survive a circle of catty women friends! They’d eat you alive.
August 10th, 2007 at 12:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
You should probably shut up before you start humiliating yourself further. Usually a few posts after a slut gets this far she starts talking about pulling male fetuses out of her vagina, or making up bible versus. It kind of gives feminism a bad name to be honest with you, and I doubt it alleviates any of the misconceptions that us Neanderthals have about the superior female race.
With love,
Doubtfish
August 10th, 2007 at 12:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Gosh, any woman with a brain is such a threat!!! I’d never humiliate myself, either….I do know how to read and write. Got ya there, huh?!?
August 10th, 2007 at 12:45 am - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
So do I. Plenty of illiterates can read the works of Homer, or any of the other great men of times past. That does not mean that they can comprehend it.
It’s kind of like how you have a bunch of coke-addled neurons firing out in random directions, but no mind to speak of.
You talk of insecurity, and then you say you are better than other people, without giving anything other than a few crack-pot assumptions.
Reminding you that you live in a man’s world,
Doubtfish
August 10th, 2007 at 9:45 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Ah, yes. It is a man’s world, isn’t it? That’s why we have to be sure “Do not ingest” appears on boxes of detergent to keep you boys out of trouble. Any woman could have figured that out on her own.
August 10th, 2007 at 10:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Well, I could spend the rest of my free time taking you all down, one by one, but you know the saying…. It’s just not fair to engage in a battle of wits with someone (or some gender) who’s completely unarmed.
It’s been fun, boys, really. Nothing like a good laugh, especially when I think that you all really take yourselves seriously. I’ll lay you odds that at least half of this “club” is made up of undersexed, female-dominated husbands, and the rest of you odd lot of fuck-ups and loud-mouths are just so horny and desperate all you can do is bitch about women.
Do you really think women sit around ranting and raving about how stupid and genetically-inferior men are? Nope: been there, done that. We’re just better than you, boys. Learn to love it!
August 10th, 2007 at 10:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
Some one is a little river troll. See if I protect you the next time I hear some screams from a dark alley ;D
Wishing you the best of luck in the near future, babycakes,
Your better