Why Women Hate Sex: Part 2

We all know women hate sex because they’re lousy at it. The missionary position proved that long before I was on Earth cracking the whip on the ass of women all over the place.

But why else do women hate the Horizontal Mambo? I’m a man so I don’t know the meaning of the word “stop” or “enough is enough”. That’s why we have things like cars and automatic pistols. If women ran the world we would have stopped after inventing a pile of wood and right before lighting it on fire.

Enough is enough! You already stacked all that wood!

Men are all about the extra mile.

Women hate the Beast with Two Backs because it takes the iron-fisted, tight-assed control over they crave over their lives and chucks it against the rocks. It also says ‘fuck you,’ at the same time like it’s really rubbing it in there for good measure. There’s only one thing women love more than diamonds, drama, and abusive boyfriends; and that’s control. As a man and having the natural inclination towards math that women lack, you can put 2 and 2 together: women hate fucking.

Men don’t need that delusion of control. We don’t live our lives in fantasy worlds where animals are children and genetics and ill-fitting trousers cause fatness over Frappaccinos and gold brickery. We men are perfectly happy no matter how things turn out because we know we did our man-best. We are the best so we did our best. It only makes sense.

That’s why men like fast cars, loose women, and short conversations. You might smash into a cliff or get your wallet stolen at any moment — or you might get yourself into a hilarious misunderstanding! The only thing you know for sure is that you’ll be on the move. That means progress.

Women need to feel like they have control over their lives because they don’t want responsibility over anything. They’re all children, and growing up for women is exactly like what you think would happen to those captive dolphins if they released any of them into the wild.

You know what I’m talking about? Probably — because you’re a man. Women are always bitching and moaning about dolphins and animals in zoos, but anyone with a brain knows from a mile away that those creatures would be completely fucked in the wild. That’s women without their precious rules and control. It’s like how your mother told you not to eat cookies and Kool-Aid all day when you were little because it would wreck your appetite. Fuck it. I’ll wreck my appetite if my desires incline me to do so. Then I’ll deal with the consequences. How bad could they be? I’m a man so I can handle anything life throws at me.

And that’s the point. That’s why we men like making the Bedroom Banjo and women don’t. We do what we want. We don’t shirk responsibility for our desires and we make our own rules.

We also don’t need our mothers telling us what to do when we’re thirty. That’s the last thing you need at that age; a woman telling you what to do.

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58 Comments in 58 threads.»

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Comment by Matt
2008-05-26 20:27:48

Im curious of your veiws to gay man who act like Woman. I would assume they would be an exception to your rule of manness, so wouldnt there in turn also be exceptions of woman to your rules of Woman. I mean do you really think this stuff of your own mother?

 
Comment by A Smart Woman
2008-04-10 18:02:13

diamatik said:

Women can’t have orgasms, so all that shit you’re saying won’t matter. Sex is all about the man and his ability to ejaculate. All the rest is just fodder.

OMG, are you kidding me? Are there really people around that still believe this?

 
Comment by Muzalon
2008-03-29 08:32:06

J said:

Well, I could spend the rest of my free time taking you all down, one by one, but you know the saying…. It’s just not fair to engage in a battle of wits with someone (or some gender) who’s completely unarmed.

It’s been fun, boys, really. Nothing like a good laugh, especially when I think that you all really take yourselves seriously. I’ll lay you odds that at least half of this “club” is made up of undersexed, female-dominated husbands, and the rest of you odd lot of fuck-ups and loud-mouths are just so horny and desperate all you can do is bitch about women.

Do you really think women sit around ranting and raving about how stupid and genetically-inferior men are? Nope: been there, done that. We’re just better than you, boys. Learn to love it!

if you’re better, how come your IQs are lower?

 
Comment by Delia Florea
2007-11-14 03:25:11

J, you really think I give a crap about what you do with your friends? I swear, I’m a woman and I get along better with men. And I can drive btw.

My opinion on feminists is that they’re just some women with no self-esteem or confidence and they want things for granted to improve that or to bash men because of their insecurities. Still, men that treat women like crap are worse, but being stupid about it as a woman is plain moronic.

And as I said before… To enjoy sex with a man, you must be able to enjoy your own body. Women fail to do that, so they shouldn’t expect a guy to please them. A lot of men take it too quick or are bad at it, but why not help him improve? Oh, because that would mean you’d have to actually move and not lay there like a starfish.

I like how J describes exactly herself when she calls others stuff.

 
Comment by hope
2007-11-01 18:17:21

Doubt said:

Some one is a little river troll. See if I protect you the next time I hear some screams from a dark alley ;D
Wishing you the best of luck in the near future, babycakes,
Your better

You’d probably be the one making her scream…

 
Comment by Female
2007-08-12 01:07:38

Kelly is also a male name, so perhaps J thinks KellyMac is a male.

Men are not better than women.

-The Flaming Lips - The Wand

 
Comment by sonyad
2007-08-12 01:02:02

Women hate each other’s guts.

Men are better than women.

- Nina Simone - Sinnerman

 
Comment by J
2007-08-12 00:17:45

KellyMac:

You are an embarrassment to humanity, and a silly prick. Neat trick.

 
Comment by J
2007-08-12 00:16:34

Doubt:

I’m not scared. Maybe you should be.

 
Comment by KellyMac
2007-08-11 23:11:17

J said:

As are you, KellyMac.

Silly prick, brains are for girls!

Love ya!

Um, that’s not really what I meant by an independent thought, or intelligent conversation…

Like most feminists, however, you are contradictory. Are you saying that I’m an embarrassment to women, or are you calling me a silly prick? Can’t be both, you moron.

 
Comment by Doubt
2007-08-11 21:25:24

J said:

As are you, KellyMac.

Silly prick, brains are for girls!

Love ya!

You aren’t impressive. Your type is just boring and fills up the forums with your drivel. Shut up for a change so that someone who has something to say isn’t cornered out by your incessant bitching. Really, if we’re so awful for what we believe, you’ve got to be the sphincter of civilization, making up awful views and claims for pure shock value and refusing to back them.
Yeah, maybe some one will back you for saying male fetuses should be pulled right out of the womb. Unfortunately for you, however, that just strengthens our convictions against your type, and henceforth erodes the gurl-power agenda further.
You just give us more power in the process by providing additional evidence against feminism. You’re a walking breathing abortion of society, an off-shoot to be hidden and coddled away from the bad mean fact-mongers. You have no right to form any bias or opinion on the matter, and yet you attempt to.
Now shut the fuck up like everyone is telling you, sweetie. We are keeping track of what you say, you know, and you’ve said a lot of things you will probably regret later.

 
Comment by J
2007-08-11 20:11:16

As are you, KellyMac.

Silly prick, brains are for girls!

Love ya!

 
Comment by KellyMac
2007-08-11 19:52:43

J, I know you really think you’re hot shit, and are really handing these guys their asses and stuff, but in actuality you are just tiresome. When you learn to form an independent thought, why don’t you come back and try to participate in an intelligent discussion? As it is now, you are just an embarrassment to women everywhere.

 
Comment by J
2007-08-11 19:31:52

Dear Miguel Reyes:

My, now who has the potty mouth? Now, what kind of head injury did you sustain, dear? Did your mom drop you as a baby? That would explain EVERYTHING. GO MOM!

Try and make me shut my “potty mouth,” dear. I’ve taken down bigger pricks than you! It’s really fun, too!

And no, I’m not a dyke. Figured you’d call me one…after all, you run out of shit to say when you’ve got NOTHING WORTH HEARING!

 
Comment by e v i l e d d y
2007-08-10 20:59:00

J said:

Awww…you’re just jealous because my friends and I don’t spend our time having the female-equivalent of dick-measuring contests. You boys are so insecure! You’d never survive a circle of catty women friends! They’d eat you alive.

Instead you and your friends stand around and try to out slut each other and call each other BFF to their faces then tear each other down behind their backs.

*golf clap* Well done.

 
Comment by KellyMac
2007-08-10 20:50:48

diamatik said:

I won’t be able to please a woman because women can’t be pleased.

HA!! Touche.

 
Comment by Miguel Reyes
2007-08-10 19:32:49

J said:

No, doubtfist, I don’t say “shit” just to “stir things up.” It’s fun to fuck with the mentally-handicapped. And, here, well, it’s like fish in a barrel!

Actually J, getting pussy is like fish in a barrel and to hear that you’re unintelligent from a Jarhead? You should be blushing in shame, wailing and in the fetal position. Furthermore, why would any man want a “circle of catty female friends”? I have a black book full of “know how to shut the fuck up horny and successful females” so, no I don’t want to go to the Twinkie conference with you. Sowie! I think it’s you who lacks self confidence. Either that or you’re a complete whore who is under the mistaken impression that your pussy is a shrine yadda yadda yadda.. we’ve heard it from a million other bitches like you before. HA! You’re another grain of sand in the never-ending line of pouty, whiny, feminist dykes that come and complain about how-in-the-fuck-I-decide-to-think matters to the pea-brain that rattles around in the sea of shit-you-call-for-brains. You’d be a whole lot more usefull if you just closed that little potty mouth of yours. BITCH.

 
Comment by J
2007-08-10 18:14:53

No, doubtfist, I don’t say “shit” just to “stir things up.” It’s fun to fuck with the mentally-handicapped. And, here, well, it’s like fish in a barrel!

 
Comment by J
2007-08-10 18:12:46

Only someone who is truly out of things to say would have resort to name calling.

–Your favorite little river troll

 
Comment by Doubt
2007-08-10 10:31:27

The problem is, gurls can’t do anything for themselves. No loss man’s points here, Necro, and I’d dare to question the earlier deduction. While I did encourage the slut, I did so indirectly, forcing facts in the face of her delusions.
The funny thing is, gurlz say all sorts of stupid things just to stir shit up. To them it’s empowerment, but when a man says something with justification, he’s an asshole.
No, you aren’t better than us. Otherwise you would be screaming for justice and a fair system; one which challenges those superior genius-whores.
We need to raise the requirements for gurlz above those for men. Otherwise they will decay in a black-hole of self-loathing, compensation, and fantasy. Well, I’m sure there’s a bit of intellect there somewhere.
Good luck spamming a forum which influences nothing, not even you. No, surely not - you said it.

 
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