Why women hate sex.
Out of all the problems that have ever or will ever exist on the Earth, there is only one that men haven’t and will never be able to solve — not because they can’t, because that’s ridiculous, but because the problem is unsolvable by design. Women hate sex.
That’s it, there you have it. The end-all, be-all of cluster fucks. But why?
Do women hate sex — and they do — because of some kind of woman-guilt from an outdated puritan societal dogma? Or perhaps a stigma of guilt or a fear of abandonment? No. None of these things are it. Women hate sex simply because they are lousy at it.
This can be proved in a quick stroll down the checkout aisle at your local market of groceries — a place thick to the rafters with women. Take a look at some of their magazines and you will no doubt see a running theme: ‘Ten Ways to not suck in bed’, ‘Six Things to do to Your Man that aren’t Lay There Like a Futon’, and ‘Honestly who gives half a fuck about socks being on or off? Jesus Christ that’s pathetic’.
Also, much in the same way that a wall probably doesn’t like or doesn’t care about playing tennis with you, it’s definitely not your fault. Don’t let your sympathetic male compassion get the better of you. You could be dancing around like a maniac and pulling stunts out of your figurative ass like Johnny Magic the Wicked Awesome — maybe some whirl-arounds and in your face spikes from across the court — it’s really up to you as the man — but no matter what, the wall will remain unfazed. It just sits there doing nothing like a lump on a log probably thinking that it wants a new expensive coat of paint.
This same theory can be applied to many other things as well. For example: that women hate problems.
In Chinese, the symbol for crisis is the same as opportunity. I haven’t looked that up, but I heard it from a man so it’s probably true because us men have something called integrity. This means that in a time of crisis, we men are at our show stopping best. Take a flat tire on a moonless night for instance. While a man is out changing nuts and bolts and doing all manner of screwing on the side of the road, will a woman so much as think to grab a flashlight and help? No.
That’s because women hate holding flashlights, because they are complete rubbish at it. Force a woman to hold a flashlight when it matters and you’re likely to catch her aiming it into the sky for absolutely no goddamn reason. You’re better off just duct taping it to a mailbox and catapulting it into space.
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Uppercaps? Offended much? I can see mancrap vision has failed you again. Refer to Forums (which are open) for political discussion you have managed to avoid thus far.
This book might help. Only recommended by Dubya in emergency situations.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunches_in_Bunches
You are incorrect Female, I do participate in political discussions. However, every man here knows, that to have such a discussion in this open forum, where your mindless and incessant babbling would disrupt things, is pointless.
By the way, Female you said: “What political discussion what that be?” I sees by yous sentance that you is almost a high school gradiate and very edumacated.
Learn to SPELL and WRITE.
“the NY Times and Steve Sailor estimated his IQ at 125 (95th percentile) and Kerry’s at 120.”
I admit I didn’t bother to read that link you put about about their IQs and now I’m glad I didn’t bother wasting my time. ESTIMATED!! their IQs. Wow, well gee, I estimate your IQ to be 105, Dick’s to be 108, Grump’s to be 100, UPs to be 91. I’m sure you get the picture without the assistance of photoshop.
“I don’t see any of that, but I’m sure you’re quite capable of projection. The 7-year old girl in you, desperate for her daddy’s approval, trying to seek it by drifting from one meaningless sexual escapade to another…”
I don’t classify any sexual encounter as meaningless, no matter how fleeting, but I guess that’s because I know how to correctly attribute value, appreciation and respect.
“That video is good, but this video is better. (Scroll down to Thursday, October 28, 2004 — “The Choice?)”
Why didn’t you just paste the link? http://www.dailyrecycler.com/blog/2004/10/choice.html
Maybe you wanted to see if I was actually capable of finding it? Or perhaps you didn’t really want me to read the comments on the site regarding your hero George. Hilarious.
“Note how the two men prepare for the interview by taking care of their hair.”
It’s a bit hard not to notice that, seems the whole point of it really. George looks like a disgruntled little shit about to pout, cuss and swear if anyone tells him to fix his hair one more time. The other man is clearly ghey.
What political discussion what that be? You haven’t even entered one as far as I know. Face it geeza, you’re a fencesitter, hedging your bets.
Your logic is compellingly non-existent, female.
I have no desire to impress you.
Poor Female has never heard of photoshop. Ignorant creature. Yes, the NY Times and Steve Sailor estimated his IQ at 125 (95th percentile) and Kerry’s at 120. I cited this somewhere on the forums here; a search should find it, or google will. It’s quite amusing to watch people like Female struggle with the whole “Dubya is dumb” meme. (Incidentally, I think a 125 IQ is pretty low, but presidential IQ seems a very poor predictor of success. Hoover and Carter were two extremely intelligent presidents who did very poor jobs.)
I don’t see any of that, but I’m sure you’re quite capable of projection. The 7-year old girl in you, desperate for her daddy’s approval, trying to seek it by drifting from one meaningless sexual escapade to another…
That video is good, but this video is better. (Scroll down to Thursday, October 28, 2004 — “The Choice”) In both cases, they took real footage from Bush and the Democratic VP candidate while the satellite uplinks were running. Note how the two men prepare for the interview by taking care of their hair.
-wolfe
It is so endearing when those of infantile intellects try to comprehend politics. Now, now Female, you go play with your coloring books and leave the political discussions to us adults okay.
*snort* you are congratulating me on knowing how to use the quote link, in a post in which you quoted multiple people without using it? Good job.
You can believe what you like. I’m not convinced that a man who reads children’s books upside down is quick. In fact, I’m pretty sure a negative sign is missing from the front of his supposed IQ score.
You might also want to have a look at this video. Does anyone else see the 7 year old boy who wishes daddy would pay more attention to him? Could it be any more obvious or pathetic? Maybe Daddy will love him now that he got him his Saddam.
http://www.freepressinternational.com/bush.098267.victory.salute.87162 09.html
Grump Said: “Next time, you can figure how to ride a tricycle! Yay!!”
Maybe Female will get one for Christmas. She may not even need training wheels.
Female Said: “And really, I think I have a few more principles than you do, respect for my own sex being one in particular.”
Sadly, despite Female’s claim to have “respect? for her own sex, she continues to post here. Lending further credence to the point we have been making all along. Men are Better Than Women. I fear however that with every post Female makes, the rest of us lose IQ points. Female, your every post seems to teem with all the fervor, intelligence and vocabulary of a three-toed sloth. (No offense to three-toed sloths) If you truly respected your sex as you claim, you would stop making your sex look bad and keep your mouth shut. Happy Holidays!
Redtygrr said: “Since you mysogynists on this website, and the ones who visit this website think that men can do EVERYTHING so much better than women, you must think that they can give better blowjobs too. Right? You boys have a good time together now.”
WOW! Such wit, such genius, such child like sexual innuendos that you speak forth so flatulently. YOU must be a woman.
Well, I suppose it is possible to respect a group if every individual in the group was respectable, but…well…that is hardly ever the case.
“you must think that they can give better blowjobs too”
hahaha
Perhaps, the gay men do.
“Dubya being an intelligent being.”
Well…I’m sure he’s smarter than you.
“Please come down off your high horse, I’m worried you’ll break both legs and arms if you should fall from such a height.”
Thanks for your concern, sweet pea. Congratulations on figuring out how to use the funky quote link, by the way. I knew you could do it! Next time, you can figure how to ride a tricycle! Yay!!
“I think I have a few more principles than you do, respect for my own sex being one in particular.”
I don’t respect groups; I respect individuals.
President Bush has above average intelligence. I believe he tested at 125 IQ.
Just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean they are stupid.
Please come down off your high horse, I’m worried you’ll break both legs and arms if you should fall from such a height.
Ditto to my previous response. And really, I think I have a few more principles than you do, respect for my own sex being one in particular.
Of course, you and Arielle are certainly doing a good job of convincing me that Dick may in fact be right after all.
It’s a bit hard to value something which is never shown and therefore does not exist.
Man Law 12. Men believe in things which don’t exist, for example, like men having respect for women on a misogynist website or Dubya being an intelligent being.
Man Law 13. Men will sprout anything, including daisys from their pieholes, in order to get a woman off track.
Since you mysogynists on this website, and the ones who visit this website think that men can do EVERYTHING so much better than women, you must think that they can give better blowjobs too. Right? You boys have a good time together now : - )
I don’t have time to comment as I’m off to the airport to pick up my gf, but you’ve definitely jumped the shark, J [Female].
Your comments are pathetic. I’m not fooling, and I use your initial for that reason.
If you value my respect at all — or anyone’s — think carefully before posting further along these lines.
-wolfe.
Here is Dick’s comment, for your edification:
“Wait a minute. So are Arielle and I the same person or have you recanted on that, Female?
Before you say which, why don’t you give her blog, which I would have been posting on since January, a look. Then just keep your fucking opinion to yourself, you dozy mule.”
Note that he said “would have been” not “have been”.
Female,
That would be “three” not “two” because Wolfe was responding both to Grump and to myself.
And while we’re on the subject of reading comprehension - Mr. Masterson did not state that he had been posting on my blog. You accused him and I of being the same person. He told you to go read my blog, stating that if he and I were the same person, he would have been publishing said blog since January of 2005, implying that it would have been an impressive feat for him to have been posting on two different websites with two drastically different personas for such a long period of time.
Don’t answer that. We all already know. I don’t have time to read your dumbarse response as have to wrap three fucking trolley loads of xmas presents, make a fruit salad and fuck off to a xmas party. Goodbye.