Why women hate sex.
Out of all the problems that have ever or will ever exist on the Earth, there is only one that men haven’t and will never be able to solve — not because they can’t, because that’s ridiculous, but because the problem is unsolvable by design. Women hate sex.
That’s it, there you have it. The end-all, be-all of cluster fucks. But why?
Do women hate sex — and they do — because of some kind of woman-guilt from an outdated puritan societal dogma? Or perhaps a stigma of guilt or a fear of abandonment? No. None of these things are it. Women hate sex simply because they are lousy at it.
This can be proved in a quick stroll down the checkout aisle at your local market of groceries — a place thick to the rafters with women. Take a look at some of their magazines and you will no doubt see a running theme: ‘Ten Ways to not suck in bed’, ‘Six Things to do to Your Man that aren’t Lay There Like a Futon’, and ‘Honestly who gives half a fuck about socks being on or off? Jesus Christ that’s pathetic’.
Also, much in the same way that a wall probably doesn’t like or doesn’t care about playing tennis with you, it’s definitely not your fault. Don’t let your sympathetic male compassion get the better of you. You could be dancing around like a maniac and pulling stunts out of your figurative ass like Johnny Magic the Wicked Awesome — maybe some whirl-arounds and in your face spikes from across the court — it’s really up to you as the man — but no matter what, the wall will remain unfazed. It just sits there doing nothing like a lump on a log probably thinking that it wants a new expensive coat of paint.
This same theory can be applied to many other things as well. For example: that women hate problems.
In Chinese, the symbol for crisis is the same as opportunity. I haven’t looked that up, but I heard it from a man so it’s probably true because us men have something called integrity. This means that in a time of crisis, we men are at our show stopping best. Take a flat tire on a moonless night for instance. While a man is out changing nuts and bolts and doing all manner of screwing on the side of the road, will a woman so much as think to grab a flashlight and help? No.
That’s because women hate holding flashlights, because they are complete rubbish at it. Force a woman to hold a flashlight when it matters and you’re likely to catch her aiming it into the sky for absolutely no goddamn reason. You’re better off just duct taping it to a mailbox and catapulting it into space.
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Nic, I think his point is that we don’t have sex because we like it, but because of the financial rewards or incentives we can get from it. How the hell he would know is anyone’s guess. I think you guessed right.
Dick, if anything can be learnt from all this, its that you know nothing about women. That would be why you cannot please them in bed, and why they hate having sex with you.
(Also, isnt it a bit contradictory to say that women hate sex when you also claim we are cheating whores, why would we cheat if we hate sex? Surely we would just be celibate.)
Your cousin must know a hell of a lot about women then. Man Points all around.
-Dick
You know, Dick, you remind me of my cousin.
Well said. She’s stated she’d leave at least twice. The second time, I was gullible enough to believe her, more fool me. Loss of several Man Points there.
She is certainly lying (possibly to herself; certainly to us), and she manifestly lacks self control. A related aspect of her announcing her departure is simply to gain attention. Similarly, all this endless talk of her being a whore that you and I have been pulled into (started by her, no less; I hope she’s not and would be sad if she were) is attention-seeking.
At this point, I’m viewing Female not so much as entertainment, but as an almost academic exemplar of the nadir of modern womanhood. It’s for this reason that I can’t shake the stubborn belief that she is a close friend of Dick’s having fun with us and striving to prove the point of this site.
I’m now going to introduce a related topic to this thread’s original meaning. It’s interesting to note the kind of names women choose on the ‘net.
There are women like Arielle (it may even be her real name; please don’t indicate either way if it is) who choose a name that makes their gender obvious without pushing it in your face. In her case, the elegant pun related to the name of her blog deserves some bonus points. (Of course, I like words).
Then there are women who choose names like Grump. Considerable respect there. She doesn’t hide her gender, but her name certainly does not announce it, saying “Look at me, I’m a girl, whee, tee-hee, hi boys!”.
Then there are the women who choose… how can I put this delicately? Let’s say names that would benefit an exotic dancer. Almost a stripper bespoke name. “Angel”, “Honeybunz” etc. Thankfully we have none of these here. They are the “Whee, I’m a girl, tee-hee!â€? types.
Then there are women who aggressively shove their gender in your face as some form of 70’s feminist pride. “Female”, “Woman”, “FemaleMark2″. Unaware that the 70’s are over, mistakenly believing that they were a decade that epitomized culture, stuck in their polyester-pant-suits way of thinking, they demean themselves and their gender simply by posting.
So. I smile and nod at those such as Arielle; I give a smile and slight bow of respect to those such as Grump, I salute my fellow men, and I shake my head, quaking inwardly with suppressed laughter, trying to focus on scholarly study as I look at those such as Female.
Best to all (even Female),
-wolfe
“Do you really think I care if you think I’m a whore?”
Actually, no.
“You don’t know me so you’ll think what you like anyway, I don’t have to justify myself to any of you.”
Good for you.
“Grump has previously told me that I am here to entertain him/her, and from memory, his/her comment had an eerie, bizarre implication that I could not leave. LOL I’d be interested to see how you could stop me from going”
Your memory is twisted. I stated that you would have a difficult time resisting the temptation to leave. I wrote this because you have announced before that you were leaving. Either you were lying, or you lack self-control. I’m not trying to stop you from doing anything. I was merely making an observation.
Female said: “This conversation is null and void.” Yes i believe i had already said that myself…try to keep up dear.
No, I’m not projecting, so you must be. Not only that, but you are avoiding the question.
“I do wonder, now and then, if you aren’t really a close friend of Dick’s just working hard to prove him right and we’re all taken in by talk of “bansâ€?.
Hmpf. No that’s not my job. You’re confusing me with Arielle and Grump. I did do dicky a favour the other day and I would be interested to hear whether it has made any difference but the man hates women so I don’t expect an answer.
I confess I do too, but she’s given ample evidence that we know a hawk from a handsaw.
Actually, the thought is very distasteful.
I am not sure what a “mysogynist” site is, but whatever it is, this site is not one. (Perhaps you meant misogynist? It’s not one of those either.) Again, you are projecting.
I’ve no idea if you are any of those things; I do know that you behave and present yourself as if you are. I find that rather sad.
This is one of the funniest things you’ve ever written. Well done.
I do wonder, now and then, if you aren’t really a close friend of Dick’s just working hard to prove him right and we’re all taken in by talk of “bans”. The quote posting “screwups” would have been a very brilliant ploy on your part. But I suppose that is not the case.
-wolfe
You have failed to see again, Man Law 1.
I know you did not care and were being facetious, as was I. This conversation is null and void. Go play with Grump and Arielle.
Incorrect again, it is not that I did not grasp it; it is that I did not care, as you are a woman and nothing you say is of importance or value.
I see you failed to grasp my sarcasm as well.
I grasped it but you didn’t grasp my piss-take. Shame.
You are indeed wrong. I do not require approval from any man or any one. And I did not dodge wolfe’s comment below.
“I don’t see any of that, but I’m sure you’re quite capable of projection. The 7-year old girl in you, desperate for her daddy’s approval, trying to seek it by drifting from one meaningless sexual escapade to another…â€?
I merely ignored it because it was utter crap. I don’t waste my time arguing points which are obvious bluffs. Do you really think I care if you think I’m a whore? You don’t know me so you’ll think what you like anyway, I don’t have to justify myself to any of you. If wolfe wants to imagine me “having it off” with a stranger in a dark alley then that is his his prerogative. It also tells me he has a seedy and sordid imagination.
“I’ve slowly become convinced that much of Female’s behaviour here is indeed based on fairly deep psychological yearnings.”
My behaviour is based on boredom and the very obvious fact that you and your little friends here all need a spanking.
Now, let’s talk about why you are here (when I say ‘you’, I mean wolfe and grump). I find it intriguing that you post on a mysogynist site but seemingly only to attack me. Other men come here and post that they are in agreement with Dicktator or they paste a joke or information on a current study derogatory towards females, yet you two don’t. You only seem to want to tell me that I am either childlike, have a mental illness, am stupid or am a whore. Now, I might believe that you do this because you want me to stop posting here, but then, Grump has previously told me that I am here to entertain him/her, and from memory, his/her comment had an eerie, bizarre implication that I could not leave. LOL I’d be interested to see how you could stop me from going, but back to the point, so why is that then? Wolfe has previously spoken about his girlfriend in glowing terms, for those that are unaware, he has installed netnanny on his PC to ensure she is protected from coming across sites such as this one. Apparently his logic was that this kind of site could do her psychological damage. I guess that means reading wolfe’s own words would damage her brain, I can’t imagine what hearing them must do to her. To be serious, if you have the intelligence to realise this site is harmful, what are you doing here contributing to it?
Wolfe, your poignant example has awaken in me almost a little regret for my behaviour with female. I feel sorry for her. I really hope that we are wrong.
Female, my dear, I was of course speaking about political discussions here in the main posting pages. You, as a woman could not, and did not grasp that simple meaning. Perhaps if I had typed slower you would have been able to comprehend my last post.
Thanks for picking up the thread (that was actually relevant), Grump. She did indeed dodge that. I’ve slowly become convinced that much of Female’s behaviour here is indeed based on fairly deep psychological yearnings.
Female, the IQ estimate, had you bothered your tiny little mind to read the article in question, was based on standardized intelligence and aptitude tests. (Bush and Kerry took the same tests in the 60’s separated by approximately one year; the tests have proven to be highly accurate over many decades of use) In the man-world, estimates are made based on concrete, relevant, solid evidence, not the womanly world of astrological horrorscopes, pink pixie dust, faery wings, or unicorns. I can understand why you wouldn’t grasp the difference, so don’t bother your little head about it if thinking gives you too much of a headache.
I didn’t give you the direct link because I didn’t have the time to look for it. Thank you for finding one. I had no desire to conceal comments; a post about Bush on a public forum eliciting negative comments? How shocking!
Bush looks impatient with the whole thing. Maybe good, maybe bad. The other man doesn’t look gay; he looks like an insane narcissist.
Flipping off the camera and looking bored are manly things. Patting your hair for 20 minutes and looking into a makeup compact is the ultimate womanly thing, so much so, that only an insane man would do it.
If you want to talk about the man more (note that you brought him up), I suggest you take it to the Politik forum Dick has kindly created. You might be pleasantly surprised at the lengthy list of ways in which I think Bush is wrong.
Back to the point of your wanton promiscuity, desperate attention seeking, and Grump’s lucid comments. You wrote:
Sorry honeybabe, but that stranger you picked up in the bar and were having it off with in a dark alley within a “fleeting” 10 minutes of meeting him… he ascribes neither value to the encounter nor you.
-wolfe
correction: …but not every sexual encounter of yours is meaningful…
I didn’t mean to step on anybody’s toes except for female’s.
“I don’t classify any sexual encounter as meaningless, no matter how fleeting, but I guess that’s because I know how to correctly attribute value, appreciation and respect.”
I note that you avoided to address wolfe’s larger point. Using female-logic, I can only assume that it means that you agree with wolfe. Every single sexual encounter is an attempt at seeking the kind of male love and attention that you didn’t receive from your Daddy. It also explains why you keep coming back here.
It’s pretty sad, really, but many promiscuous chicks lacked a strong and positive fatherly role model in their younger years. So, they mistakenly ascribe worth to *every* sexual encounters merely because they associate sex/attention (no matter how negative) with love/intimacy.
I’m sorry, dear, but not every sexual encounter is meaningful and the men who respond to you here do not love you.
Uppercaps? Offended much? I can see mancrap vision has failed you again. Refer to Forums (which are open) for political discussion you have managed to avoid thus far.
This book might help. Only recommended by Dubya in emergency situations.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunches_in_Bunches