Why women hate sex.
Out of all the problems that have ever or will ever exist on the Earth, there is only one that men haven’t and will never be able to solve — not because they can’t, because that’s ridiculous, but because the problem is unsolvable by design. Women hate sex.
That’s it, there you have it. The end-all, be-all of cluster fucks. But why?
Do women hate sex — and they do — because of some kind of woman-guilt from an outdated puritan societal dogma? Or perhaps a stigma of guilt or a fear of abandonment? No. None of these things are it. Women hate sex simply because they are lousy at it.
This can be proved in a quick stroll down the checkout aisle at your local market of groceries — a place thick to the rafters with women. Take a look at some of their magazines and you will no doubt see a running theme: ‘Ten Ways to not suck in bed’, ‘Six Things to do to Your Man that aren’t Lay There Like a Futon’, and ‘Honestly who gives half a fuck about socks being on or off? Jesus Christ that’s pathetic’.
Also, much in the same way that a wall probably doesn’t like or doesn’t care about playing tennis with you, it’s definitely not your fault. Don’t let your sympathetic male compassion get the better of you. You could be dancing around like a maniac and pulling stunts out of your figurative ass like Johnny Magic the Wicked Awesome — maybe some whirl-arounds and in your face spikes from across the court — it’s really up to you as the man — but no matter what, the wall will remain unfazed. It just sits there doing nothing like a lump on a log probably thinking that it wants a new expensive coat of paint.
This same theory can be applied to many other things as well. For example: that women hate problems.
In Chinese, the symbol for crisis is the same as opportunity. I haven’t looked that up, but I heard it from a man so it’s probably true because us men have something called integrity. This means that in a time of crisis, we men are at our show stopping best. Take a flat tire on a moonless night for instance. While a man is out changing nuts and bolts and doing all manner of screwing on the side of the road, will a woman so much as think to grab a flashlight and help? No.
That’s because women hate holding flashlights, because they are complete rubbish at it. Force a woman to hold a flashlight when it matters and you’re likely to catch her aiming it into the sky for absolutely no goddamn reason. You’re better off just duct taping it to a mailbox and catapulting it into space.
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Dick, if the sex was crap for you, then it probably wasn´t much fun for her either. Either you have been meeting women who are sexually incompatible to you, or you are crap at sex. I mean, it would be a good assumption to think you wrote this out of your own experience.
I mean, I would love to know how you researched this. Just have this crazy image of you interviewing people while they are having sex.
Dick - Excuse me sir, but I am writing for MABTW and would like to know, is your wife any good at shagging?
Man - Er, no. She´s so bad that I am not even too breathless to answer your question.
Woman - Who is that honey?
Man - Just that Dick guy from MABTW… I hear he does this a lot.
The blonde, big breasted woman? I’m sorry, is it me you’re spouting such hate at or is any woman more fortunate than you?
The envy of sloth: a woman’s life.
-Dick
Hey you can think your better and smarter than me if you want. You however do not know my educational backgroud. You do not know every woman. You are obviously picking up women in bars. Why are you at the bars so frequently? Need a little booze to boost your confidence? I never heard a claim that all women are smarter than men. I believe your itellegence comes from education right? Oh wait I think that maybe it is something that grows from a penis. That would be why woman have none, you think? If woman are so stupid why do so many get away with so much and why do men keep supporting them. You, my little dumb man friend, may in fact be the dumb gender after all. Keep on buying the little blonde, big breasted woman a drink. Give her all your hard earned money, you jack ass. Not so dumb after all. Oh but she knows how to “rub” you the right way and you married her and now she lives in your big pretty house because she divorded you when you were to stupid to conceal the affair. Bet you didn’t discover her affair or her agenda, did ya big boy.
For your information, I change my own tires! Plus, I love sex. I love the feeling it leaves in me when I turn a man on and make him moan. I love to find new ways to fullfill sexual pleasures. Maybe we need to meet. I never ask a man to take out the trash or change a light bulb, it’s degrading. I never accept money from a man because I usually have more than the man. You are just picking the morons of society. Trust and believe when I tell you that there are just as many ignorant men. You be surprised at the number of men who can’t change their own oil in there own cars!
Classy.
You wish you had one, Debbie the Whore/Vagina/Haha. Whoever the fuck you are.
Why not actually try to dispute something here, or can you not handle that?
Obviously you’re having a fit because you can’t.
“hey abaddon, suck my cock!”? You sound 10 years old.
Grow up or fuck off, simple as that.
hey abaddon, suck my cock!
Ahhh the inherent sexism of jj is enlightening isn’t it? To think that some people actually go to classes that spew this venom. How about you actually learn something about biology jj? Men actually have to be attracted to you if they want to have sex. Have you tried to lose the extra 40 lbs off of your fat ass? That might be the problem.
Also maybe you should look at the men that you are associating with? I would suggest therapy but then again some people are unreachable. As to the other gratuitous insults, all that really does is add more evidence to this sites claims.
Most men are hogs…just get me hard! If you can’t do THAT on your own, you can’t do anything. You’re a lazy ass and you’ll never amount to shit.
50 years old and still can’t support yourself??? You’re pathetic.
As far as sex, learn how to fuck right. THat’s you’re problem. Loser!
(Let me guess… you’re bald).
My penis is so big that it has a penis of its own, which is still bigger than Tom’s.
-Big Al
I missed this post before today. No wolfe, as I said, I was not comparing quality, I was noting that their perception of women is similar, therefore why do you persist in thinking/stating that I believe Dick is as good as Chaucer. That question does not need an answer. Just because you want me to laud his writing, will not make it happen. Wishing will make it so!! Not.
And donate to the billboard? Sorry, but I don’t want to contribute to the spreading of grammatical incorrectness.
Another boring braindead “you must be gay” comment, where is the penis joke ?
I am sooo disappointed.
I really have to wonder if thats all people can come up with, such a lack of originality…
Women sucking at sex is not an opinion. Have you ever seen “How not to suck at sex” on the front of Playboy?
I think not.
-Dick
Maybe women suck at sex, in your opinion, because you are gay? Hm…think about it.
No, Female, I take no delight in attacking you, and I don’t believe I am doing so. I am attacking some of your arguments, yes.
So you choose to compare Dick’s writing to that of one of the strongest literary storytellers in the world because they share the same point of view.
OK.
I don’t think Dick is as good as you think he is… Chaucer was one of the major writers of the second millenium. I doubt Dick will be one of the major writers of the third millenium, but clearly you and I differ there. Fair enough.
I’m glad you think he is so good though. Given that, have you considered donating to The man-billboard?
-wolfe
Er, yes, which is why I compared Dick to him….did you actually think I was comparing quality? You seem overly keen to attack me usually. It’s getting old.
Dick: Lewis Black? Or am I missing something?
Female: So you’re comparing Dick (favorably) to one of the strongest literary storytellers in the world. Yes, I know the insult is in bad men/good women, but I rather think you’ve scored several own goals there.
Even in Chaucer, the point is that men are more important than women. We could say… men are better than women?
Still, in my praise of Dick, I shan’t go quite as far as saying he’s Chaucer or Shakespeare. I’ll leave that to you.
-wolfe
Just as there is something very Geoffrey Chaucer-like about yourself. Are you trying to finish the tales?
http://www.wsu.edu/~delahoyd/chaucer/LGW2.html
There is something very Louis Black about the way this article is written. Good job. Thats a man that tells it straight.
I have a general question:
Why do women keep posting here thinking that they change the views of people that have gone to a site called menarebetterthanwomen.com?
I came here when I searched Women Suck into google for fun, but I found a flood of turth rushing at me at a thousand miles per hour.
Woohoo for to much dumb description.
Maybe I will spell something wrong so a dumb bitch can come correct me to try to act smart.
Here you go ladies:
Opps I speeled a word wrong, prepare to correct me.
Or whats ever better is when I don’t make a mistake and they correct me.
Fink: Ladies are really dumb
Chick: Hey Fink, or should I say stupid, dumb is spelled dum, maybe you should read a dikshonary or something
And yes I spelled dictionary wrong on purpose so shut you piehole women.
Back to my main point: ladies the only people that will agree with you on this site is other women and some men that have a lady they want to impress by sticking up for these bitches on the internet.
Dumb Male: Hey look Jenny, a site that says ladies are dumb
Jenny: Oh no, do something
Dumb Male: Seeing as I am so strong I will post
Dumb Male: Hey Dick, or should I say DICK! this is the worst site ever and should be taken down because it is dumb and i dont like it how can you treat womam like that your a sexist im goingto come to your house and beat you up cuz your just a little kid who lives with his mother and has a small penis or non at all!!!! LOL! you sucker!
Dumb Male: See Jenny I really am a man
Jenny: Oh dumb male I’m glad I’m going out with out lets kiss
Dumb Male: eww cooties
Next point: Women, why do you over use a thesaurus and dumb adjectives when you’re posting to try to look smart, for example:
Hello humans who are male, how can you “people” be so unintelligent. Can not you be addionally affectionate? Everyone on this planet of Earth, third planet from what we call the sun, has to share with each other, we can not accommodate being cantankerous.
WHAT?! Speak english bitch or translate
Hi guys, why are you dumb, can’t you be nice. Don’t be mean
After that then we can tell you how dumb you are, you don’t have to use “colorful” language, because you think it makes you should like you’re not dumb as a box of rocks.
Female: I bet Fink is gay and no women like him, he just masterbates all day
Next point: seeing as women never have a good point that shows us men as being wrong (because we never are) they have to make stuff up about our personal life for their “great” comeback
Last point for now because I am hungry: I hate how women always make a big deal about how a female is a female when they find out that there have been people in history that are female
For example:
Lady: Speaking of Hilary Clinton, who happens to be female, and a strong female at that, I mean this female is such a great female person. Females have always been discriminated against, but when I find such a strong female as Hilary “Woman” Clinton im just impressed, did you know that Joan of Arc was a woman, not a MAN, but a woman, woman, female, woman
STOP! We get the point that Hilary Clinton is a female, us Men don’t go Speaking of Bill Clinton, who happens to be male, and strong, male
No because we ar not insanely dumb!
Last part: I know how hard it is for you females to type I will anticipate your rebuttle:
Female: We type just fine, you are suk at tyuping
Lady: Fink is a woman! lol! who has no balls!
Bitch: Men are dumb, stop bein g male!
Chick: I do not operate a thesaurus when I am using a keyboard, I use my own cranium
Ho: Dumb Male sounds like the perfact man
Lady: HAHAHA LOLOL!OL! WEN YOU WAERE TALKING ABOUT SPELING YOU SPELLED SPELLED WRONG YOU SAID SPEELED LOLOLOLOLOL MENS ARE NOT SMARTER
Chick: Fink has a lack of genatalia