Why women hate sex.
Out of all the problems that have ever or will ever exist on the Earth, there is only one that men haven’t and will never be able to solve — not because they can’t, because that’s ridiculous, but because the problem is unsolvable by design. Women hate sex.
That’s it, there you have it. The end-all, be-all of cluster fucks. But why?
Do women hate sex — and they do — because of some kind of woman-guilt from an outdated puritan societal dogma? Or perhaps a stigma of guilt or a fear of abandonment? No. None of these things are it. Women hate sex simply because they are lousy at it.
This can be proved in a quick stroll down the checkout aisle at your local market of groceries — a place thick to the rafters with women. Take a look at some of their magazines and you will no doubt see a running theme: ‘Ten Ways to not suck in bed’, ‘Six Things to do to Your Man that aren’t Lay There Like a Futon’, and ‘Honestly who gives half a fuck about socks being on or off? Jesus Christ that’s pathetic’.
Also, much in the same way that a wall probably doesn’t like or doesn’t care about playing tennis with you, it’s definitely not your fault. Don’t let your sympathetic male compassion get the better of you. You could be dancing around like a maniac and pulling stunts out of your figurative ass like Johnny Magic the Wicked Awesome — maybe some whirl-arounds and in your face spikes from across the court — it’s really up to you as the man — but no matter what, the wall will remain unfazed. It just sits there doing nothing like a lump on a log probably thinking that it wants a new expensive coat of paint.
This same theory can be applied to many other things as well. For example: that women hate problems.
In Chinese, the symbol for crisis is the same as opportunity. I haven’t looked that up, but I heard it from a man so it’s probably true because us men have something called integrity. This means that in a time of crisis, we men are at our show stopping best. Take a flat tire on a moonless night for instance. While a man is out changing nuts and bolts and doing all manner of screwing on the side of the road, will a woman so much as think to grab a flashlight and help? No.
That’s because women hate holding flashlights, because they are complete rubbish at it. Force a woman to hold a flashlight when it matters and you’re likely to catch her aiming it into the sky for absolutely no goddamn reason. You’re better off just duct taping it to a mailbox and catapulting it into space.
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Women only lie,……………… there
No, the reason is that they are lousy at it. Pay attention, honey. It was only the third paragraph.
-Big Al
That was funny, no really! I haven’t ever heard that before….. yawn.
I want to make a shirt for breast implanted females that says “who needs integrity with tits like these?” eh… like?
Yawn.
She didn’t know I was in? But wait a minute. That would mean my penis was — oh you got me!
Yet another small penis joke. You ladies are full of something and it ain’t class.
It’s horseshit.
-Dick
Women only lie there doing nothing if they are not enjoying it. Are you sure she knew that you were in?
Ben Folds And Eazy-E Said It Best ” Bitches Aint Shit But Hoes And Tricks”.
Oh that’s a doozy, Geeza. You’re absolutely right.
-Dick
Nice observation Geeza.
We should really keep a running list on the number of those dumb bitches that fall for the Ip Man-hash trap..
Dick, what do you reckon ?
One little square with a number in it. Should be at about 6 or 7 ?
The IP Man-Hash has taught me that when someone starts a post with “I am a man” you can bet they aren’t.
But I don’t mind being taught, because men are better than women.
-Big Al
Amazing. Every single woman falls down the same trap. Maybe they realise that a statement sounds more credible if its coming from a man.
Wow, Gent (aka Effing pot). You sure are dumb.
-Dick
My money’s on you not being a man at all. Most likely Effing pot not learning from other silly women’s mistakes.
I am a man and it is obvious to me that in order for anyone to have mind blowing sex you BOTH have to enjoy it. If she found the sex mind-blowing, she would not lie there like a sack of potatoes, believe me.
What can I say, us men like to look out for each other unlike the selfish bitch gender.
mike, I came in here to lay the hammer down only to find you’ve already done so.
Cheers,
-Dick
Women have been inconsiderate arseholes since the dawn of time.
They know nothing else or have learned anything better.
Tuned to their own obnoxious nature and their own selfish, self-serving attitude in life, we really should avoid them like the plague they are.
Why not just admit that women have an agenda to start with, Oh wait… you just did. I suppose that’s men’s fault as well?
It seems Women have no integrity whatsoever.