Why women hate sex.
Out of all the problems that have ever or will ever exist on the Earth, there is only one that men haven’t and will never be able to solve — not because they can’t, because that’s ridiculous, but because the problem is unsolvable by design. Women hate sex.
That’s it, there you have it. The end-all, be-all of cluster fucks. But why?
Do women hate sex — and they do — because of some kind of woman-guilt from an outdated puritan societal dogma? Or perhaps a stigma of guilt or a fear of abandonment? No. None of these things are it. Women hate sex simply because they are lousy at it.
This can be proved in a quick stroll down the checkout aisle at your local market of groceries — a place thick to the rafters with women. Take a look at some of their magazines and you will no doubt see a running theme: ‘Ten Ways to not suck in bed’, ‘Six Things to do to Your Man that aren’t Lay There Like a Futon’, and ‘Honestly who gives half a fuck about socks being on or off? Jesus Christ that’s pathetic’.
Also, much in the same way that a wall probably doesn’t like or doesn’t care about playing tennis with you, it’s definitely not your fault. Don’t let your sympathetic male compassion get the better of you. You could be dancing around like a maniac and pulling stunts out of your figurative ass like Johnny Magic the Wicked Awesome — maybe some whirl-arounds and in your face spikes from across the court — it’s really up to you as the man — but no matter what, the wall will remain unfazed. It just sits there doing nothing like a lump on a log probably thinking that it wants a new expensive coat of paint.
This same theory can be applied to many other things as well. For example: that women hate problems.
In Chinese, the symbol for crisis is the same as opportunity. I haven’t looked that up, but I heard it from a man so it’s probably true because us men have something called integrity. This means that in a time of crisis, we men are at our show stopping best. Take a flat tire on a moonless night for instance. While a man is out changing nuts and bolts and doing all manner of screwing on the side of the road, will a woman so much as think to grab a flashlight and help? No.
That’s because women hate holding flashlights, because they are complete rubbish at it. Force a woman to hold a flashlight when it matters and you’re likely to catch her aiming it into the sky for absolutely no goddamn reason. You’re better off just duct taping it to a mailbox and catapulting it into space.
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Why is it always a man’s fault that women are both sexually frigid and non-orgasmic in bed? Don’t you think it’s time that women took collective responsibility for their own actions and learned to stop blaming their own personal failures on men? After all, it’s not a man’s fault that the obviously less evolved reproductive physiology of the human female prevents her from enjoying sex in the first place. Women should just get over their penis envy and realize that between genders, only men are truly sexual beings.
That’s just FALSE, because RAPE has nothing to do with a man being “HORNY”.
If a man is just “HORNY” . . . he can walk up to any American whore, be a mind reader and tell her exactly what she wants to hear . . . and she will be on her back with her Birkenstocks® in the air faster than she can drop the first bunch of flowers.
When a man is “HORNY” he doesn’t rape.
RAPE happens for other reasons.
60% of those reason are because —>> THE WOMAN LIED ABOUT IT.
as a matter of fact, there is PLENTY of evidence to manclude:
As much as 95% of men who rape —>> DIDN’T.
Yes we know your rights…. and your willingness to exercise those have nothing to do with a man ACTUALLY having “RAPED” you. So you can shut the fuck up any time you like.
Don’t ever lecture a man on what’s “RIGHT” and “NOT RIGHT”. When there is a 95% chance that you haven’t got a fucking clue, and the same 95% chance that you NOT RIGHT to falsely accuse a man of it.
Ever see another mammal FUCK?????
Why don’t you turn off American Idol and watch Discovery once in a while.
Looks like fucking “RAPE” to me.
the male is giving it to that female like nobody’s business — BUT GOOD!
THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT - TO GET YOUR SPERM AS FAR AND DEEP INTO THAT BITCH AS POSSIBLE.
Women don’t get that.
They think sex is supposed to be “kind” , and “gentle” and “friendly”. And anything else can be called RAPE. Even if SHE was the one BEGGING to get her pussy hammered ball-deep. . . . that bitch wasn’t “raped”.
She’s just –>> HOT.
LOL Right Back Atcha. Of COURSE you would. And so would I. Because we are men , and - as Dick so eloquently put it - we have something called –>> “INTEGRITY”.
LOL. Very good observation Chris. However, I wouldn’t walk out i would run and not look back!
Yeah, talking big.
OF COURSE I was joking. But what the fuck do you EXPECT?????????
Noone wants you here.
Women are not allowed here.
Do you GET that???
It’s splattered ALL OVER THE WEBSITE:
“Women do not read. Do not comment. You are not allowed to call. There are opinions here we KNOW you will not like. Menarebetterthanwomen. Leave now. OK thanks. B-Bye.”
Now when you say that to a MAN, you will notice than MEN WILL LEAVE A ROOM when when they are NOT WELCOME BY A BUNCH OF WOMEN. No man will stay or want to be a part of whatever is going on when 25 women are going on about anything . . . . he will excuse HIMSELF before he is even TOLD.
Women are not like that.
THEY ARE MORE THAN GLAD to go where they don’t belong.
They THRIVE on going where the don’t belong.
That’s called –>> “The Automatically-Entitled American Cunt.”
Example:
HE: “Im not interested in anything you have to say. Leave.”
SHE: “That’s OK. I’ll stay anyway. You’re such a Jerk.”
Now at this point –>> A MAN CAN SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS. He can joke about RAPE. He can call you any name in the book. He can take out his cock and throw a load all over your ass. And there is nothing you can say about it. Too bad for you. If you weren’t such an Automatically-Entitled American Cunt, you wouldn’t have to listen to it.
Fuckyouverymuch.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Lorena Bobbitt jokes aren’t funny either, but that hasn’t stopped you from laughing.
Julia get off this website and take your emotions with you.
this is obviously satire.
that said, i agree with barbie. the people agreeing with him seem to be serious. i just can’t believe it.
how could any man ever tell a girl that she was lucky to be raped? that is disgusting and vile. the lowest level of hell is reserved for fuckers like you, asshole. and chris, even if you are kidding (which you might be, because that claim is just so insane), it is not something you should ever joke about, because it isn’t fucking funny.
at all.
misogynist prick, get a fucking handle on yourself LOSER!
Hahahahahaha!!!! Now we’re talkin. =]
Keep dreaming, fucker.
Just come and try it, you gentile, puny, frigid Anglo-American fuckers.
Obviously these articles have some comedic value. If you havn’t figured this out yet you are probably a woman. Some people can only laugh at a joke when its not about themselves. If there were a womens only website with funny anticdotes about men im sure men wouldnt go on there and post stuff like OMG YOU BITCH! IM GOING TO CUT YOUR TITS OFF!
this article is actually really funny, and i laughed. the responses, however, are not. it seems like men are starting to badger women over what clearly is a satirical piece of work. dick has a girlfriend. i doubt she’s the type of woman who believes that women are inferior, simply because it would take a strong woman to deal with dick’s personality, and dick would never ever date a woman that was just as inferior as the other slutbags in the world, right?
If you weren’t claiming to have been raped all the time, if you didn’t expand the meaning of the word rape to the point of absurdity to gain maximum political benefit, if you weren’t caught so often making false allegations, then maybe you’d still be taken seriously.
So, you weren’t raped after all. We knew you were lying all along.
yeah it was sooo hot when i kicked him in the balls over and over again and watched him cry like a lil baby
Hi Kelly.
Not all men are like this. Thank god. Not all women are whores are cheaters either.
Such a generalization cannot be made.