The Blackberry: Releasing a Woman’s Inner Bitch
I have a Blackberry, you have a Blackberry, let’s all go have a fucking parade about it.
Or let’s just use our Blackberrys to get the job done like men.
And that’s why women should not be allowed to have Blackberrys. They don’t use their Blackberrys to get the job done. They use their Blackberrys like the morphine drip you get at the hospital after back surgery. When you need a dose of morphine, you hit the button. When a woman needs a dose of attention, she whips out her Blackberry during dinner like it’s totally acceptable.
It’s not acceptable. It’s rude. Dump that bitch like an anchor.
Giving a woman a Blackberry is like giving her a permanent excuse to behave like a rude, inconsiderate pig.
Men use our Blackberrys for business — emailing and such. And also, finding where awesome restaurants are, like Big Wang’s which is located at 1562 N Cahuenga Blvd. And sometimes, we use our Blackberrys to show all our drunk friends a picture of an awesome set of hooters that some chick just text messaged me.
Mantastic.
Naked pictures of hot tits is the only kind of sharing a man should do. All other sharing is for ladies.
A woman once asked me why I don’t keep my Blackberry on the nightstand when I sleep.
“Why the fuck would I do that?” I said.
And why the fuck would I do that? The middle of the night is my time for sleeping and dreaming about being the keyboard player for Dethklok. I’m not going to interrupt that to answer some shithead’s question about why men are better than women at playing marbles.
It’s because men have finesse and are used to handling balls.
But that’s exactly the point. Women can’t deny attention — no matter what kind of attention it is, no matter how married they are, and no matter what time it is. If it’s three in the fucking morning, a woman wants to know that someone is trying to sell her Viagra. If it’s in the middle of a conversation with a man, a woman wants to know what other man wants to have a conversation with her.
When you give a woman a Blackberry, you’re giving her an IV of attention.
Every time a woman’s Blackberry vibrates, she’ll jump like she’s got an electric collar. That’s because women are addicted to attention. Have you ever seen a dog with an invisible fence electric collar? A dog will hear the beeping and just about shit himself. It’s the same reaction a woman has when her Blackberry starts going off like a jackpot.
Blackberrys are like Dumbo’s magic feather, except instead of flying, a Blackberry gives a woman the power to act like a rude bitch.
To a man, someone else’s importance is based on a complicated algorithm of their wealth, influence, and proximity. Manly stuff. To a woman, someone’s importance is based on one thing.
First come, last served.
Have some kids with a woman and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Daddy comes last.
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I hope you’ll have fun enculer btw =) but I bet you don’t know what that word means….
Hmmm…where do we start on this one. Google “contraction” when you get a chance, preferably before you run out and get your GED. Being a “discrase” to your faith would be a lot like suggesting loving one another in once sentence, and calling a group of people retards in the sentence just before it.
We don’t hate women. No we don’t really think men are better than women - we KNOW men are better than women.
Judging by your chic reasoning, you are no man. Get off this site, and get back on your blackberry.
I think this site should be deleted and all men are pigs and this site only proves it =)
at least women are kind enough not to make a discriminating site like this :O
i guess im gonna be gay from now on.
have a nice day =)
P.S. no wonder women don’t wanna have sex with you if you visit sites like this.
No religion better at telling women they’re useless piles of shite than Christianity. Fuckable, but useless. Besides maybe Islam. But any movement that has Man running around in pj’s and screaming at some imaginary insult can’t be a proper religion.
Your all a bunch of retards, and i sertainly hope you all aren’t Christians, because that would be a discrase to our faith. This has NOTHING to do with loving one another.
I bet 99% of you guys who hate woman are just frustrated, fucking pethetic..
Get a life, go get help. DO you REALLY think men are better than woman? Without woman you wouldnt even be here, and you couldn’t have childeren, which you probably wont have anyway, because no one dates guys like you :)
Good luck,
take care
A MAN with a hot girlfriend,
because he takes care of her
If women are queens then men are kings.
Men are better than women.
i agree 100 percent on this latest blog. every angle is perfectly said, guys use it for their work, women use it to show off as some form of status/importance.
Dude, from one guy to another, I gotta say this is some seriously screwed up shit. Women are QUEENS, even gay guys know that. What the hell are you on about?!
Dick, you my good sir are the most epic troll i have ever encountered, i give you 5 stars, good day.
We hate women because Women hate us. It’s that simple. All of us are fucking gorgeous and could get any one of you bitches if we wanted to, but why would we when the quality of today’s women is so poor? You’re just pissed men aren’t going to take your shit anymore. It’s payback time, ladies.
Somehow, everyone here already knew that about you.
You got that right. Women can’t do anything right, no anal, no handjob or blowjob. I have to go to a man for that. Yes, i like the men’s asshole cause women are unwilling to give it (unless they are porn stars). Also men have tighter buttholes so that makes it much more pleasurable.
Wow indeed! Women couldnt follow a train of thought if it crashed through a fucking tanning salon.
If we were gay, we wouldnt want women. If we wouldnt want women we wouldnt care about ‘not getting’ women. If we wouldnt care about not getting women, we wouldnt hate them because we couldnt ‘get them’.
Dont worry if you dont get it sweetcheeks. I dont expect you to.
These women just keep getting dumber and dumber.
http://www.salmonofdoubt.110mb.com/gay4pay.txt
Wow. All the guys here are totally gay. You hate women because you can’t get them, and you hate women because they don’t like men who sleep with men. Just come out of the closet you”guys”. You’re all a bunch of sissies. get lives and grow up.
lol at satire that no one is getting, even stupid dr.phil
It’s okay joel, you can come out of the closet now. We understand. Run back to mommy now. haha!
Emergency my cracked ass. If it was an emergency, she would’ve called and talked to the person with a sense of urgency, not sent a text and hoped the person on the other end got it. The person she texted is probably the guy that she’s going on a date with tomorrow night. If the bitch can’t prioritize and concentrate on what’s going on in front of her right here right now, she deserves to have her date drive off.
The nickname “Crack-berry” definitely fits! Women are totally obnoxious with cell phones, too. The Blackberry just adds e-mail capability to her “I-love-me-and-everybody-else-does-too” device. I’ve seen men not answer their cell phones if they’re in the middle of an important conversation or transaction. Women can’t, they’ve got to pick it up like it’s a crack pipe and they haven’t had a hit in the last hour. Women euphemistically call it “multi-tasking”. I call it “can’t prioritize for shit”.
Mr. Dick ..you really are a dick. im not sure if you were raised by a crack whore as a mother but women do play a great role in society, Although it seems your mother may not have. on the other hand. Im sure you wouldnt want to meet the queen of england she would proably cut off your balls and replace them as your eyes. you know she was a woman if you hadnt noticed.