Women Are Really Good At Being Sarcastic
Men, on the whole, are a race of funny mans. We joke and are good at joking because it makes us feel good. It makes everyone feel good. Laughing is for pleasure. But just like half of an Oreo cookie, there is a dark side to comedy: sarcasm.
Men wield sarcasm with extreme prejudice. Lining up a battalion of facts to decimate their opponents’ defenses and bullshit and then toppling their Saddam like statue of dignity with a cutting sarcastic remark.
Women do not.
Women handling sarcasm is like a viking charging into battle with a giant salami. Dumb and embarassing.
One of the biggest problems with women and sarcasm is they use it too much. Men know that sarcasm overuse makes one look simple and petulant, but women seem to have no problem with that. That’s because women enjoy looking ill-tempered and brackish. They think it empowers them and makes them look interesting while they actually have nothing to offer. That’s why they’re sarcastic as often as fucking possible.
Women also cannot be sarcastic properly because, like usual, they don’t understand what they’re trying to use. Just like when they’re trying to work a car or a computer or a menu, absolutely anything might happen if there isn’t a man there to call the shots — anything, but the right thing that is.
The key to sarcasm is the implication of a series of events that would allow the sarcastic remark to be true. Let’s take this sarcastic remark as an example: women make great voters.
Truly absurd indeed, but why does it work as sarcasm?
As men, the moment we hear that statement, we suspend our disbelief and imagine it to be true for just a second. That’s why we’re so good at being compassionate, because unlike women we can imagine ourselves in another’s shoes. After all, we men did invent diplomacy and peace treaties.
For the statement to be true, a great voter would have to be defined as someone who votes with their hormones or based on manic ravings that they heard from their friends. That is where the sarcasm hits us, when we see it was a trick all along to lead us to the true nature of the woman voter. Well done, I say.
Women can’t be sarcastic because they don’t think anything they say is true anyway. Whether it’s ‘I’m good at something’, ‘I love you’, or ‘I didn’t mean to fuck that up for the sixth time’. That’s why women are shitty at sarcasm, because in a way, everything they say is sarcastic.
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July 12th, 2005 at 3:53 am - IP Man-Hash: d2e2d3de553b4
“Women handling sarcasm is like a viking charging into battle with a giant salami. Dumb and embarassing.”
Genius.
July 12th, 2005 at 3:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: cc0d45fa29251
Women need to be kept in line similar to gun owners. Guns, used correctyl, can be fun, useful, and instill familiar bonds- when used incorrectly, they can kill, harm, destroy, and end friendships quicker than being drunk and wiping your ass with somebody else’s pillow. Women have NO control of their sarcasm, and thus cause harm, destruction, hurt feelings, false accusations, and the end of all humankind as we know it. Perhaps man needs to step in an start giving sarcasm safety course for women. Women using sarcasm must be stopped.
July 16th, 2005 at 7:14 am - IP Man-Hash: fa48aa19ef342
Duster, you’re lecturing women about hurt feelings. Please, you’re existence seems to be dedicated to deeming half the population of the planet. Now you’re just a hypocrite.
July 16th, 2005 at 3:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: cc0d45fa29251
Nicole-
Complete a goddamn sentence for crying out loud. Firstly, I am not lecturing women about shit- I was stating that females have no ability to use sarcasm in the correct sense. Secondly, I am “deeming” half of the population what? I’ll help you out a little bit so that you can save yourself the embarassment of using a conjunction that doesn’t fucking exist- next time try a goddamn dictionary before proving yourself ignorant. And that’s me being nice, by the way- I could just say that you’re stupid.
July 24th, 2005 at 5:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: 51ee353662c2b
it can be assumed when a man speaks (or types) it is typically being facetious or sarcastic. When a women speaks (or types) it can range a multitude of emotions from bitchy to serious, to yes, sarcastic. Face it, you wanna label wholey: women are emotional creations that do not even realize their OWN agenda. Men are straightforward, funny creators, that are happy with a beer and a blowjob. Least SOME women know this ;)
February 7th, 2006 at 7:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 31d418f8fe3da
blowjob anyone?
February 7th, 2006 at 8:55 am - IP Man-Hash: 281c250662a27
Okay… now I don’t like her. Started out making a decent comment in one thread and is now posting ridiculously in ALL threads.
Forget the beer too.
February 8th, 2006 at 1:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Sadly she proves Dick’s point.
-wolfe
May 15th, 2006 at 8:53 am - IP Man-Hash: bacaada7017f5
All I’d like to say, is that I am sorry for the pathetic men who feel so threatened by women that they must start a web site or visit a web site, entitled “menarebetterthanwomen.com”. At first I was offended when I unfortunately stumbled upon this ignorant, condesending web page, but it is more than obvoius that it is only a result of insecure men who probably have never had luck with women because, CLEARLY, you are all too simple minded to even come close to understanding us. So, keep on posting your stupid thoughts on women to feel better about your small dicks and lack of confidence in this world. Oh, and FUCK YOU!!!!!!
May 15th, 2006 at 9:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 9438f68e1c745
Another sex-based personal attack.
Whatever happened to destroying the other side’s arguments…
Although it’s highly amusing to see you guys (I’d love to say “we”, but still waiting for registration to come through) seem to hit a highly sensitive nerve with every single article. If anything the female comments are almost as amusing as the articles - they complete them, by proving the article’s point.
Hmm, better try and answer the woman, I have another 2 hours before the College Republicans dinner…
Sally, how on Earth do you expect men to treat you as anything other than a sex object if yourself cannot reply to a well-written argument with anything other than sex-based comments? It seems that for most women life revolves mainly around their crotch, and women are thus unable to think any further. I know evolution made you that way, as historically men were mostly in charge (thankfully), but if you want to be taken seriously you’ll have to reply seriously. I know it’s possible, I know quite a few women who are able to hold a conversation with a man. You’re just not one of them, at least from what I’ve read from you.
Thanks for taking the time to read.
May 15th, 2006 at 2:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: b39671b23df39
Bob, welcome to the site. Your account should be active in the forum now.
-Dick
May 15th, 2006 at 4:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: b077f28046aef
sally said:
Its like shooting fish in a barrel today!
All I’d like to say, is that I am sorry for the pathetic men who feel so threatened by women that they must start a web site or visit a web site, entitled “menarebetterthanwomen.com”.
Please note that she “feels” sorry for us. It is I who feel sorry for you Sally. Obviously your “feelings” got in the way of making some sort of rational argument. Do you often personally attack people that you don’t know by calling them pathetic? What makes you think that we feel threatened? Do we have another Jr. therapist on our hands? Please give me your professional opinion Dr. Sally. Do I hate my father? Or was I threated by my mother? What causes me to visit this website? You must know all the anwsers by now, I mean what would Dr. Phil say?
At first I was offended when I unfortunately stumbled upon this ignorant, condesending web page, but it is more than obvoius that it is only a result of insecure men who probably have never had luck with women because, CLEARLY, you are all too simple minded to even come close to understanding us. So, keep on posting your stupid thoughts on women to feel better about your small dicks and lack of confidence in this world. Oh, and FUCK YOU!!!!!!
Hmm, I will note the laws of women (once again) and your basic bullshit analysis from a womans point of view. I wonder if Ol’ Dick struck a nerve somewhere in that tiny hormone imbalanced head of yours? I would imagine that trying to understand women is what this website is all about, it seems to be working rather well.
Strength and Honor
May 15th, 2006 at 9:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8f5fa079b338a
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I have never felt threatened by a woman. Even when the skank — sorry, my ex — assaulted me, I didn’t feel particularly threatened. Well, ok, I should amend that: I considered it possible that she might dig into my gun cabinet and come up with a weapon actually capable of harming me where her bare hands and fists couldn’t, so my first move was to secure my firearms from her. But aside from that, I’ve never felt threatened by a woman. Never. Women simply aren’t threatening on any level.
I know you’ll never believe this, but I’ve understood the women I’ve been close to better than they understand themselves. I think that in general, women are too overcome with their emotions to engage in the kind of self-examination really necessary to understand one’s own psyche. I think a woman can do so if she’s really motivated, but very few ever are.
As always, it revolves around the penis for women. I’ve never really understood why women are so obsessed with them. Is it that they spend so much time competing with each other to look better than the next woman, and so they project this competition onto men in the only way that they can? I don’t know … I do wish someone would explain it, because it always seems really, really petty.
Well, no doubt at some point in the near future. Right now I’m bunking my kids, so seeing my girlfriend for sex isn’t really possible. But I appreciate the sentiment.
May 21st, 2006 at 10:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: e6a61478d9095
I bet that most of the comments that hit out against the author of the topic are from women. If there is a male among them I can only say that he is a sub specie of man…What we call a WUSSY!. He probably gets kicks out of sniffing oestrogen and calls himself confidently “A Man” like danny devito says he’s tall.
As for Sally, Her outbursts confirms the truth of the article. Please go sit on something and smile for a change.
May 22nd, 2006 at 3:08 am - IP Man-Hash: 05876c7260a2f
pop eye, you’re right, he, whoever he is, probably does get a high from oestrogen sniffing, they’re called pheronomes.
May 22nd, 2006 at 12:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: b39671b23df39
So you’re a biologist now, Fem? What a laugh.
-Dick
May 22nd, 2006 at 4:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
No they’re not. They’re called pheromones.
-Big Al
May 22nd, 2006 at 4:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: b39671b23df39
Wow. I just had a tremendous laugh at Female’s expense on that one. Nice, Big Al.
-Dick
May 22nd, 2006 at 4:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 51b20c9205849
Maybe Fem was thinking of pheroGnomes.
May 22nd, 2006 at 8:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
She was just pheroMoaning.
-Big Al
June 18th, 2006 at 3:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Amasing to the extent of comical how law abiding female visitors of this site are, on whole. Seldom do you see deviant behaviour. Some few misdemeanours here and there and some scarce convicted criminals like Arielle only.
The laws of women I mean as cited by older, more knowledgeable and experienced people here.
If it’s not the phalic reference it’s the gay angle, or the ‘yo mamma shudda had a termination when she had you’ approach.
Though there was this one rather more original female poster. She cordially wished us Godspeed on our shorter than women’s course to death.
Maybe she was trying to pass a bill for a new law through the house? She ain’t payin’ it, obviously. Quaint.
June 18th, 2006 at 5:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: 442ae7cfaf56b
As one of the feminazy stated at the “pro-abortion” rally.
“the only reason I am here is because my mother did not have a choice”.
September 12th, 2006 at 2:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: bccb9970f4a6d
Kudos guys. You probably don’t care about a mere females opinion but I truely found the article, replies and site highly amusing. So much so that I’m sending the link out to all my friends, male and female.
I would not deem myself worthy to cross swords with such masters so I’ll take the only recourse I have as a female and give in without even trying. :)
September 12th, 2006 at 3:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Better yet, put out.
September 12th, 2006 at 3:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
cyan, that’s what I call female wisdom. Though not as good as man-wisdom, it does have its merits.
Appreciated.
-Dick
September 16th, 2006 at 10:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
is that because you don’t call a spade a spade [as in a heart with [a] tail]…
…that’s f’in sarcasm at its best you dinks, but i think you know that…
…just like you know that ’sonyad’ has an arsenal of strap-ons for…pleasure…
[cyan, i've instructed my gardener to keep your nic in mind while he's trimming the trim...]
September 16th, 2006 at 12:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Projecting, are we? I actually make due with 4 wheels and a car for that. Sometimes 2 wheels and a mountain bike instead.
September 17th, 2006 at 5:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 48e0f6600996e
Nope. She was just trying to be sarcastic, and failed. When will women ever learn?
November 5th, 2006 at 3:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6f5d97a41ef2f
As a female, i really don’t see a problem with this article or the site itself. There is probably a female equivalent to this website, so i suggest any insulted females should consult and whine there.
There is truth in this article, women do over use sarcasm way too much, it’s a simple fact, though I do think some of it is dragging the whole issue a little to far.
You make your point, but if you don’t want these simple minded bitches on here whining about how you insulted them, perhaps you should change the wording to something more intelligent so they won’t understand the article at all.
Read musie’s comment, it makes sense and is true.
November 5th, 2006 at 3:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 839803acb13f9
This article reminds me of something Borat would say… in both message and grammar… I’m honestly not sure whether this is written in all seriousness or whether its supposed to be sarcastic itself…
November 5th, 2006 at 8:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: 82e15fb436256
You’re confused because you’re not a ‘Guy‘ at all.
November 5th, 2006 at 10:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0a66d10276b0f
when they speak they prove everything weve said about them all along.
oh well when we can finally shut them the fuck up we wont have to buy dishwashers anymore.
November 6th, 2006 at 9:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 7e20a2b748599
I can think of a number of ways to shut them up… heh heh heh
November 22nd, 2006 at 4:36 am - IP Man-Hash: ced99eaaeef93
This is so idiotic and i bet a sexist fool wrote it. Women will be the dominant race in time as its now been shown that sperm is no longer required to make a baby as two eggs can be fused together so technically men are the weaker species. And you know who discovered that? A WOMAN.
November 22nd, 2006 at 4:38 am - IP Man-Hash: ced99eaaeef93
p.s. to mean_jake. you are the worst of the lot - you cud never survive on your own and i bet all your concerned with is jackin off and try to screw as many people as possible. and maybe eating. cuz thats what men like you do. up yours.
November 22nd, 2006 at 4:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
You truly are of a race of your own.
- Chris Rea - King Of The Beach - God Gave Me An Angel
November 22nd, 2006 at 5:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 11e898e336326
comment”>sonyad said:
You truly are of a race of your own.
- Chris Rea - King Of The Beach - God Gave Me An Angel
So? And as for the ’sexist idiot’ comment, you just made one like it yourself with your proclaimation of men are weak.
Another typical hypocritical woman.
November 22nd, 2006 at 8:51 am - IP Man-Hash: ae6ed3998b9a9
The only thing women like you will rule, is that huge pile of ding-dong wrappers at the end of your couch. That or your large collection of dildoes.
-Strength and Honor-
November 22nd, 2006 at 9:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 82a9703442b5b
Hahahaha
November 22nd, 2006 at 11:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 4887bbc01e2ae
They will have their cats to rule.
And when the economy collapses and jobs are few. There won’t be any females talking about ruling anything.
November 22nd, 2006 at 1:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Did you guys notice, women’s asses, the callipygous ones anyway, kinda look like a cat’s snout?
Freaked out.
- David Guetta - People Come People Go
November 22nd, 2006 at 2:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Oy. Shit just happened.
November 22nd, 2006 at 5:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: ddbc40ec5b431
You make your point, but if you don’t want these simple minded bitches on here whining about how you insulted them, perhaps you should change the wording to something more intelligent so they won’t understand the article at all.
nicely put risakat,i think it’s border line right now.
hhmmmm?????????????:)
cud.i bet that’s what YOU’RE chewing.moooo
February 16th, 2007 at 7:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 82ef1f6f2aafa
sarcasm is the greatest and wittiest form
February 16th, 2007 at 7:54 am - IP Man-Hash: 82ef1f6f2aafa
chunda yet the one you call a stupid bitch sounds more intelligent than you!
February 16th, 2007 at 8:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Of course you’d say that about her. Having only just read her writing and all.
June 12th, 2007 at 11:34 am - IP Man-Hash: a3267c5e9ad14
We have man to thank for the shape our economy is in now. Fantastic job. A++
June 12th, 2007 at 12:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
If by the crappy sarcasm you mean that men (at large) are to blame for the, supposedly sorry, state of your economy as perceived from your vantage point through their having failed in achieving their, again inferred, goals of making life better for as many people as possible (including yourself) irrespective of their own returns, you’re sadly mistaken.
I’d hardly call it a market failure turning an Audi R8 over in the morning for having kickbacking friends in government.
I suppose you would.
- Basement Jaxx - Just 1 Kiss (Boris Dlugosch And Michi Langes)
June 21st, 2007 at 11:09 am - IP Man-Hash: bf1c132f6631e
We have man to thank for the shape our economy is in now. Fantastic job. A++
As per last check, you have men to thank for the very fact that you have an economy, or the very fact that a global economy exists.
And you prove that women fail at sarcasm.
June 21st, 2007 at 11:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 72dadca35debd
No.
Violence against women in the media is the funniest comedy.
June 21st, 2007 at 12:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: b406d1706a5a5
Mel is a dumb cunt who watches CNN diaspora news.
She’s a shit brained product who will believe anything they tell her. Orgies and open marries and being married to cuckolds is awesome, Michael Moore is a genius not a fat fucking tick. The American economy is shit and we”re all getting poor because of Republicans.
Mel, why don’t you do the world a favor and kill yourself and entire family?
June 21st, 2007 at 12:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
What’s wrong with the economy? You have an iPod, don’t you?
-Dick
June 21st, 2007 at 2:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 45a19a6365772
Hee hee. Where there is equality, there will be violence. And with a double-standard for the weaker sex, you have… double-violence!!! YAAY!!!
June 21st, 2007 at 2:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 45a19a6365772
inequality, sorry.
June 22nd, 2007 at 12:24 am - IP Man-Hash: cfb78268d537a
if she wants to solve the problems of the economy, she can get her ass out of the workplace. we will see an immediate “TURN” of events. the more women leave the workplace, the better it gets. anyone still has the source of the 3 women who lost america some $216 billion? Yeah, point made.
June 22nd, 2007 at 8:47 am - IP Man-Hash: dcf90cb0dcfe1
Excellent post, Dick.
This is one of things that women do that really piss me off. It’s so true that they have nothing to say, so they act so callous and rude so as to give the impression that what they are saying is better than what anyone else has to say. Then, if if you call them on their bullshit, they just start acting coy and tip toe around the discussion off into fairy land.
Then, maybe even worse, the other feminazis will back up her fully legitimate, and heartfelt statements. (I think the only reason other women back them up is so that they themselves don’t look like hypocrites when they try pulling that shit. If not for that reason, they would not back any other women up because, as everyone knows, women hate the fuck out of each other)
June 23rd, 2007 at 2:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
Damn straight. Look, it’s fashionable to bash Bush as a troglodytic moron who couldn’t count to ten. Fair enough, whatever gets you going in the am.
But 4.5 percent unemployment rate? Average hourly earnings trending up? CPI near zero, PPI actually negative? Budget probably shortly balanced even though we’re fighting a major war? Productivity amongst the highest in the world?
(Source BLS — http://www.bls.gov).
Let’s see, when Clinton had a 5.4 percent unemployment rate (note the reversal of those two numbers) people were hailing him as a genius.
But let’s be fair. Let’s compare apples to apples… Bush’s presidency has been substantially under Republican economic control. So was Clinton’s. Let’s go back to when the White House and the Congress were both in Democratic hands.
Jimmy Carter. Nuff said?
In case it’s not, we were running double digit unemployment, double digit inflation, staggering deficits (even by today’s standards) and had huge structural competitive problems.
Yep, men have rocked the economy.
And as Dick said, I bet you have an iPod.
-wolfe
June 23rd, 2007 at 2:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 206ad98341577
Yeah, women love to stereotype. They love to go with the “crowd” to simply a) fit in or b) try to make a retarded point. Bush may not be the smartest president for declaring war on Iraq but credit where credit is due, the US economy is doing pretty fine so whats your point really Mel? The fact that you are here online and posting shows that you got a man out there holding the sky for you so shut the hell up….
July 27th, 2007 at 6:25 am - IP Man-Hash: e4615e3653258
KL Sarcasem is actually the lowest form of wit.
August 1st, 2007 at 10:04 am - IP Man-Hash: a3df74b716f3c
So we should shut the fuck up. Got it. ;)
August 1st, 2007 at 11:10 am - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
You got it, Laura.
-Dick
August 2nd, 2007 at 12:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 62e6a1b97a23d
I love this. Unfortunately, most of it is true. There are very, very few women that I know that don’t sound like complete ditzes when they say something sarcastic. Half of the time that’s because they go “_____. And I’m being sarcastic.” or “_______. Not.” Really, it just ruins the humor of it.
On the other hand: Don’t you think a viking with a giant salami is more descriptive of a man than a woman?
October 15th, 2007 at 9:30 am - IP Man-Hash: aa2ca8c1fa016
all of this is complete bullshit and who ever rights the pathetic sites labelled ‘men are better than women’ or ‘women are better than men’ are complete arseholes.
we are all equal apart from a few details.
so get used to it and stop bitching about eachother.
arseholes!!
get a fucking life!!!!!!!
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:27 am - IP Man-Hash: e71a430743256
We have man to thank for the shape our economy is in now. Fantastic job. A++
And here is proof
(If i understand correctly)
November 23rd, 2007 at 4:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 8445bf2f3f52f
quite an interesting piece of writing, although completely wrong. Men are the ones that se sarcasm too much and think they’re great for it! All they do s use sarcasm to bully the opposite sex, put them in their place, and simply, because they can’t tell a good joke! so use sarcasm instead. Alot of men use sarcasm because they find it difficult to communicate! Whereas women don’t need to be sarcastic as we are naturally good communicaters and can tell better, light hearted jokes! unlike the ride sarcastic ones that men like to tell.
I find the needing a man to fix the car or computer very offending. I myself as an independant woman can work on my car and computer quite competently! I’m sure there will be many other women in the same boat as me. Yes, men seem to be better a judging and parking cars but so what! Men seem to enjoy driving more than women. My boyfriend is better at parking than me, but i don’t feel the need to burn my clutch out to get into a small space, just so i can ‘apparently look good’ infront of everyone else. I decide to look after my car, so i don’t have any expensive bills to pay unlike my boyfriend.
it’s an interesting point also that womens insurance are alot cheaper than mens… i wonder why that could be.
November 23rd, 2007 at 4:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 8445bf2f3f52f
i agree with someone who said men and women are equal. yes there are differences between men and women, but this is only because of different interests!
Men are more practical, they love spending hours on their computers and cars so hence, the reason why they know what to do. It’s not exactly difficult. Im able to service my car on my own because Im actually interested and want to save myself a few pennies.
Women on the other hand are more active and sociable, so hence the reason why we have better communication skills. But yes! We are equal. Men are not more inteeligent than women etc etc
and one thing id like to point out. Living in te UK is shit and the government make someof the most stupid mistakes. The prime minister and mp’s are all MEN….. was better with margaret thatcher atleast their was some discipline
December 2nd, 2007 at 2:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
I’m not a sarcastic person
actually, i am a very gullible person, so when someone isn’t being obviously sarcastic, then I think they’re serious
If i were a more sarcastic person then yeah, i would be able to distiguish the two