Women Are Really Good At Being Sarcastic
Men, on the whole, are a race of funny mans. We joke and are good at joking because it makes us feel good. It makes everyone feel good. Laughing is for pleasure. But just like half of an Oreo cookie, there is a dark side to comedy: sarcasm.
Men wield sarcasm with extreme prejudice. Lining up a battalion of facts to decimate their opponents’ defenses and bullshit and then toppling their Saddam like statue of dignity with a cutting sarcastic remark.
Women do not.
Women handling sarcasm is like a viking charging into battle with a giant salami. Dumb and embarassing.
One of the biggest problems with women and sarcasm is they use it too much. Men know that sarcasm overuse makes one look simple and petulant, but women seem to have no problem with that. That’s because women enjoy looking ill-tempered and brackish. They think it empowers them and makes them look interesting while they actually have nothing to offer. That’s why they’re sarcastic as often as fucking possible.
Women also cannot be sarcastic properly because, like usual, they don’t understand what they’re trying to use. Just like when they’re trying to work a car or a computer or a menu, absolutely anything might happen if there isn’t a man there to call the shots — anything, but the right thing that is.
The key to sarcasm is the implication of a series of events that would allow the sarcastic remark to be true. Let’s take this sarcastic remark as an example: women make great voters.
Truly absurd indeed, but why does it work as sarcasm?
As men, the moment we hear that statement, we suspend our disbelief and imagine it to be true for just a second. That’s why we’re so good at being compassionate, because unlike women we can imagine ourselves in another’s shoes. After all, we men did invent diplomacy and peace treaties.
For the statement to be true, a great voter would have to be defined as someone who votes with their hormones or based on manic ravings that they heard from their friends. That is where the sarcasm hits us, when we see it was a trick all along to lead us to the true nature of the woman voter. Well done, I say.
Women can’t be sarcastic because they don’t think anything they say is true anyway. Whether it’s ‘I’m good at something’, ‘I love you’, or ‘I didn’t mean to fuck that up for the sixth time’. That’s why women are shitty at sarcasm, because in a way, everything they say is sarcastic.
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November 5th, 2006 at 3:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 839803acb13f9
This article reminds me of something Borat would say… in both message and grammar… I’m honestly not sure whether this is written in all seriousness or whether its supposed to be sarcastic itself…
November 5th, 2006 at 8:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: 82e15fb436256
You’re confused because you’re not a ‘Guy‘ at all.
November 5th, 2006 at 10:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0a66d10276b0f
when they speak they prove everything weve said about them all along.
oh well when we can finally shut them the fuck up we wont have to buy dishwashers anymore.
November 6th, 2006 at 9:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 7e20a2b748599
I can think of a number of ways to shut them up… heh heh heh
November 22nd, 2006 at 4:36 am - IP Man-Hash: ced99eaaeef93
This is so idiotic and i bet a sexist fool wrote it. Women will be the dominant race in time as its now been shown that sperm is no longer required to make a baby as two eggs can be fused together so technically men are the weaker species. And you know who discovered that? A WOMAN.
November 22nd, 2006 at 4:38 am - IP Man-Hash: ced99eaaeef93
p.s. to mean_jake. you are the worst of the lot - you cud never survive on your own and i bet all your concerned with is jackin off and try to screw as many people as possible. and maybe eating. cuz thats what men like you do. up yours.
November 22nd, 2006 at 4:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
You truly are of a race of your own.
- Chris Rea - King Of The Beach - God Gave Me An Angel
November 22nd, 2006 at 5:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 11e898e336326
comment”>sonyad said:
You truly are of a race of your own.
- Chris Rea - King Of The Beach - God Gave Me An Angel
So? And as for the ’sexist idiot’ comment, you just made one like it yourself with your proclaimation of men are weak.
Another typical hypocritical woman.
November 22nd, 2006 at 8:51 am - IP Man-Hash: ae6ed3998b9a9
The only thing women like you will rule, is that huge pile of ding-dong wrappers at the end of your couch. That or your large collection of dildoes.
-Strength and Honor-
November 22nd, 2006 at 9:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 82a9703442b5b
Hahahaha
November 22nd, 2006 at 11:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 4887bbc01e2ae
They will have their cats to rule.
And when the economy collapses and jobs are few. There won’t be any females talking about ruling anything.
November 22nd, 2006 at 1:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Did you guys notice, women’s asses, the callipygous ones anyway, kinda look like a cat’s snout?
Freaked out.
- David Guetta - People Come People Go
November 22nd, 2006 at 2:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Oy. Shit just happened.
November 22nd, 2006 at 5:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: ddbc40ec5b431
You make your point, but if you don’t want these simple minded bitches on here whining about how you insulted them, perhaps you should change the wording to something more intelligent so they won’t understand the article at all.
nicely put risakat,i think it’s border line right now.
hhmmmm?????????????:)
cud.i bet that’s what YOU’RE chewing.moooo
February 16th, 2007 at 7:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 82ef1f6f2aafa
sarcasm is the greatest and wittiest form
February 16th, 2007 at 7:54 am - IP Man-Hash: 82ef1f6f2aafa
chunda yet the one you call a stupid bitch sounds more intelligent than you!
February 16th, 2007 at 8:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Of course you’d say that about her. Having only just read her writing and all.
June 12th, 2007 at 11:34 am - IP Man-Hash: a3267c5e9ad14
We have man to thank for the shape our economy is in now. Fantastic job. A++
June 12th, 2007 at 12:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
If by the crappy sarcasm you mean that men (at large) are to blame for the, supposedly sorry, state of your economy as perceived from your vantage point through their having failed in achieving their, again inferred, goals of making life better for as many people as possible (including yourself) irrespective of their own returns, you’re sadly mistaken.
I’d hardly call it a market failure turning an Audi R8 over in the morning for having kickbacking friends in government.
I suppose you would.
- Basement Jaxx - Just 1 Kiss (Boris Dlugosch And Michi Langes)
June 21st, 2007 at 11:09 am - IP Man-Hash: bf1c132f6631e
We have man to thank for the shape our economy is in now. Fantastic job. A++
As per last check, you have men to thank for the very fact that you have an economy, or the very fact that a global economy exists.
And you prove that women fail at sarcasm.