Women Are Really Good At Being Sarcastic
Men, on the whole, are a race of funny mans. We joke and are good at joking because it makes us feel good. It makes everyone feel good. Laughing is for pleasure. But just like half of an Oreo cookie, there is a dark side to comedy: sarcasm.
Men wield sarcasm with extreme prejudice. Lining up a battalion of facts to decimate their opponents’ defenses and bullshit and then toppling their Saddam like statue of dignity with a cutting sarcastic remark.
Women do not.
Women handling sarcasm is like a viking charging into battle with a giant salami. Dumb and embarassing.
One of the biggest problems with women and sarcasm is they use it too much. Men know that sarcasm overuse makes one look simple and petulant, but women seem to have no problem with that. That’s because women enjoy looking ill-tempered and brackish. They think it empowers them and makes them look interesting while they actually have nothing to offer. That’s why they’re sarcastic as often as fucking possible.
Women also cannot be sarcastic properly because, like usual, they don’t understand what they’re trying to use. Just like when they’re trying to work a car or a computer or a menu, absolutely anything might happen if there isn’t a man there to call the shots — anything, but the right thing that is.
The key to sarcasm is the implication of a series of events that would allow the sarcastic remark to be true. Let’s take this sarcastic remark as an example: women make great voters.
Truly absurd indeed, but why does it work as sarcasm?
As men, the moment we hear that statement, we suspend our disbelief and imagine it to be true for just a second. That’s why we’re so good at being compassionate, because unlike women we can imagine ourselves in another’s shoes. After all, we men did invent diplomacy and peace treaties.
For the statement to be true, a great voter would have to be defined as someone who votes with their hormones or based on manic ravings that they heard from their friends. That is where the sarcasm hits us, when we see it was a trick all along to lead us to the true nature of the woman voter. Well done, I say.
Women can’t be sarcastic because they don’t think anything they say is true anyway. Whether it’s ‘I’m good at something’, ‘I love you’, or ‘I didn’t mean to fuck that up for the sixth time’. That’s why women are shitty at sarcasm, because in a way, everything they say is sarcastic.
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July 12th, 2005 at 3:53 am - IP Man-Hash: d2e2d3de553b4
“Women handling sarcasm is like a viking charging into battle with a giant salami. Dumb and embarassing.”
Genius.
July 12th, 2005 at 3:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: cc0d45fa29251
Women need to be kept in line similar to gun owners. Guns, used correctyl, can be fun, useful, and instill familiar bonds- when used incorrectly, they can kill, harm, destroy, and end friendships quicker than being drunk and wiping your ass with somebody else’s pillow. Women have NO control of their sarcasm, and thus cause harm, destruction, hurt feelings, false accusations, and the end of all humankind as we know it. Perhaps man needs to step in an start giving sarcasm safety course for women. Women using sarcasm must be stopped.
July 16th, 2005 at 7:14 am - IP Man-Hash: fa48aa19ef342
Duster, you’re lecturing women about hurt feelings. Please, you’re existence seems to be dedicated to deeming half the population of the planet. Now you’re just a hypocrite.
July 16th, 2005 at 3:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: cc0d45fa29251
Nicole-
Complete a goddamn sentence for crying out loud. Firstly, I am not lecturing women about shit- I was stating that females have no ability to use sarcasm in the correct sense. Secondly, I am “deeming” half of the population what? I’ll help you out a little bit so that you can save yourself the embarassment of using a conjunction that doesn’t fucking exist- next time try a goddamn dictionary before proving yourself ignorant. And that’s me being nice, by the way- I could just say that you’re stupid.
July 24th, 2005 at 5:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: 51ee353662c2b
it can be assumed when a man speaks (or types) it is typically being facetious or sarcastic. When a women speaks (or types) it can range a multitude of emotions from bitchy to serious, to yes, sarcastic. Face it, you wanna label wholey: women are emotional creations that do not even realize their OWN agenda. Men are straightforward, funny creators, that are happy with a beer and a blowjob. Least SOME women know this ;)
February 7th, 2006 at 7:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 31d418f8fe3da
blowjob anyone?
February 7th, 2006 at 8:55 am - IP Man-Hash: 281c250662a27
Okay… now I don’t like her. Started out making a decent comment in one thread and is now posting ridiculously in ALL threads.
Forget the beer too.
February 8th, 2006 at 1:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Sadly she proves Dick’s point.
-wolfe
May 15th, 2006 at 8:53 am - IP Man-Hash: bacaada7017f5
All I’d like to say, is that I am sorry for the pathetic men who feel so threatened by women that they must start a web site or visit a web site, entitled “menarebetterthanwomen.com”. At first I was offended when I unfortunately stumbled upon this ignorant, condesending web page, but it is more than obvoius that it is only a result of insecure men who probably have never had luck with women because, CLEARLY, you are all too simple minded to even come close to understanding us. So, keep on posting your stupid thoughts on women to feel better about your small dicks and lack of confidence in this world. Oh, and FUCK YOU!!!!!!