Women Are As Cold As An Ice Cold Beer
Women allegedly feel colder than men all the time because they have a higher surface to volume ratio and less muscle density. That’s a nice way of saying that they have a higher body fat percentage. And that’s a nice way of saying that women are fatter than men. That much is obviously true. Being skinny is a thing and men are better than women at all things. What next? Is the sky blue? Yep.
That seems to be one of the reasons that Curves: The Women’s Gym is taking off like a house fire. Actually, Curves is only successful because it is run by a man: Robbie Allan. If Curves was a gym for women and run by women, it would be about as successful as “lesbians” raising a child.
The real truth of these cold fronts are that women are scientifically engineered to constantly bitch.
You can check out the scientific explanation for the above here, but only if you’re a man. The site doesn’t forbid women like this one does, but it might as well because it doesn’t take a lot of extra time explaining simple things. Simple everyday things like words and points that men understand instantly without even thinking about it.
When you prove something to a woman, you need make sure that any point you have to make can also be made in the form of crayons on construction paper. If it can’t, then you’re speaking Greek to her. And if she is Greek then you’re speaking Pig Latin.
Women can’t speak or understand Pig Latin for the life of them. No one knows why, but I have a pretty good hunch. Just remember that next time you need to get a secret message past a woman, say it in Pig Latin. To her it just sounds like the teacher from Charlie Brown.
Women are colder than men because they’re fat and love to complain. They are pretty much engineered to complain. That’s why they have periods.
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June 29th, 2005 at 1:18 am - IP Man-Hash: ffcbff2933b8d
ok heres what i’m gonna do to you Dickless Masterton:
I am going to slice your achilles tendon so you are paralysed.
Then i am going to pull out your teeth one by one, and stuff them up your nose.
I will then procced to cut off both your hands, stuff them into your muth and sew your lips together.
Then i will put you in an airtight glass coffin, and parade your naked (no doubt naturally cockless corpse around town with a sign tattooed onto your fettid flesh reading ‘I am a sick little tapeworm’
I hope you have fun down there in hell bastard.
June 29th, 2005 at 1:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 3f6f1bc89c9c0
Oooookay…That was a perfectly reasonable response.
June 29th, 2005 at 4:49 am - IP Man-Hash: f50318f6a324f
Hm, under the Terms and Conditions of this blog she (!) should not even be allowed to read or post… ;-)
June 29th, 2005 at 5:53 am - IP Man-Hash: b9ccf0bcef0c9
And we can see why! The wisdom of banning women from this blog is indisputable.
June 29th, 2005 at 10:57 am - IP Man-Hash: 90732515db7b8
Women having more fat is a scientific fact, it’s not because we’ve been eating too many burgers. There are still skinny women, we don’t all look like bowling balls, round with a few carefully placed holes!
June 29th, 2005 at 1:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: ebb0d1f6317c9
Nope… Women are more like a six pack. Turn ‘em over and carry them home.
June 30th, 2005 at 1:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7cd1b9f9fa14e
The first comment is a perfect exapmle of a womans capacity for violence. When a man says anything even remotely threatening to a woman, it is called Domestic Violence in the 4th degree and he will be jailed and restrained. When a woman threatens to mutilate and kill a man, even if she actually DOES it, she still finds a way to blame the man. Double standards abound because women ARE IN FACT INFERIOR. Get used to it Courtney. — One Man
June 30th, 2005 at 1:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: ccc5bba03b1fa
Well, you can’t blame Courtney for posting here. Women generally have a hard time following instructions, such as the one about women not being allowed here.
June 30th, 2005 at 1:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
One Man, that’s a good point. It’s kind of the same reason a man will let a dog accidentally micturate on his brand new couch — without dire consequences. Dogs don’t know any better. It’s up to us men to clean up the mess and toss them a bone at some point in the future when we think they’ve earned it — or simply to fulfill our altruistic natures.
As for women’s capacity for rage, it’s surprising. Not scary of course because a woman could never stop frothing at the mouth for more than two seconds to actually direct her rage.
It’s cute and harmless.
-Dick
June 30th, 2005 at 2:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7cd1b9f9fa14e
“Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
— Benjamin Franklin
June 30th, 2005 at 5:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 254d8667d181c
I can’t understand why Courtney is so upset, the discussion was not on sexual frigidity so to speak. But having said that, Dick Masterton has found a way of heating wimmen up without increasing greenhouse gas. Just tell the truth.
Woman speak is a topic that should be covered. My wife gets my temperature up by uttering the sentence ” What are we going to do about this?” Which is sheila speak for that’s your job and I have now washed my hands of it.