Women Are eStupid

Can I ask a serious question here? How the fuck are women supposed to be equal to men when they can’t harness the communication medium of the 21st century. The typed fucking word?

They can’t. Women can’t email for shit, they can’t do the text messaging each other on the computer thing for shit (I don’t know what that’s called because I’m a man), and they can’t do the text messaging each other on the phone for shit (same reason).

That’s why they do all three of those all the fucking time. They can’t get it right the first time.

How many times, as a man, do you have to fix a 1967 Dodge Charger with a broken fuel pump? Seven times. Once to fix it and six more times to hang out with your man friends and cruise for hot girls.

That’s a joke, but my man point which lies under the joke remains. Men do things the right way the first time and we do them expediently. That’s why we don’t take like a half hour in the sack. It’s because we know what the fuck we’re doing. Women wander aimlessly around the bedroom like they’re lost in a labyrinth of body parts.

“Am I supposed to twist this?”

No! You are not supposed to twist anything! You twist a bottle top. You twist a fucking screwdriver. Noticing a pattern? Twist things that are recyclable, not things that are attached to anyone.

Women can’t write emails for shit. They send them back and forth all day like they’re shopping for useless junk, each one more useless than the last. At first I thought the problem was women and their rampant illiteracy.

I’ve spoken before on this global epidemic. Something like 50% of women are completely illiterate. And I’m not completely sure, but I doubt that stat includes the number of women who can “technically” read, but actually cannot. Let me explain.

Women are like squirrels or chickens. I’ve seen a squirrel ride skis. I’ve seen a chicken play a piano. They both performed their respective tasks like shit and I’m pretty sure neither one knew what in the fuck it was doing, but “technically” they did it. Technically a squirrel can water ski and technically a chicken can play a fucking piano.

Technically women can read.

They completely can’t though. Give a woman a basic reading comprehension test. Let’s say a big red fucking sign that says STOP or a sign that says No Fucking U-Turns! 9 times out of 10 a woman will fail that test. Here’s another basic reading comprehension test for you. Take a woman to dinner and drop a bill in front of her. It’s all Greek to her unless she is!

It was at that point that I thought, ‘I’m a man. Of course the first thing I thought was right.’ And it was. Women can’t email for shit because they can’t read.

It’s not because their primary mode of communication is passive aggression. It’s not because they naturally assume the worst of any tone that isn’t expressly implied by facial signals or vocal intonations. It’s not because women in the workplace face overwhelming pressure and suffer a crippling paranoia. It’s because they can’t fucking read.

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53 Comments in 51 threads.»

Comment by Mysanthrope
2008-08-30 01:13:13

True fuckin’ story, and it happened tonight.

My Girlfriend: “Hey, why don’t you open Yahoo messenger on your phone so that when I get back from the store, I’ll IM you so you can unlock the door for me.”

Me: “…. or you could fuckin call”

Comment by Matty
2008-08-30 08:19:13

LOL tell her she has hands use em

 
 
Comment by Women_suck
2008-04-10 08:38:27

you know the sign at gas stations that say not to leave pumps going unattended?
women failed at that and caused all those explosions a while ago….

 
Comment by Benignbullet
2007-11-17 17:48:38

Jerry said:

Going by stats,men are more illiterate than women.Most of you were taught to read by your mother or female teacher. This site is for sissies,not men. Just as there are females,not women…..you are males,not men. Are all your mothers whores,stupid,etc.? Oh,wait…they produced males instead of men. I’m tired of reading the writings of pissed off,angry,cry baby males.Get a grip,life is what you make it. You create your own reality. Real men don’t need your site.

Maybe that’s the problem: women trying to teach boys to read. If more women in total (mothers and teachers), are trying to teach little boys to read and the boys aren’t learning, whose fault is that?
Yeah, we all got tired of the ridiculous feminist rantings in our society, and specifically on the (much more numerous) feminist Websites, so we came here. What a crime that men should discuss their experiences, philosophy, and facts about men versus (what we’ve observed were once more intellectually honest and fair-minded) women.
Every woman in the past, and even contemporarily, has exchanged her sex (The Fundamental Female neurosis) for something(s) of value that the man had or would provide on an ongoing basis. In that sense yes, they’re all whores.
You state that you’re tired of our rantings on here, yet mention nothing of the continual feminist rantings through various mediums, and the special demands that women make (gender-specific job openings, equal pay for “equal” work [you need to read Dr. Warren Farrell's "Why Men Earn More" to get up to date on the factual reasons for this one], defining-down of standards for entry into specific jobs [police, fire"fighter," etc]and etc.).
Get a grip? Life is what you make it? Heck, that’s what us men have been trying to get through the female skull for years - that the United States, especially, is a MERITOCRACY, and that as such, rewards shouldn’t be accorded as per female whim, f - e - e - l - i - n - g - s, or “Princess Privilege.”
Wake up!

Comment by David
2008-08-07 21:36:26

Owned, also i have a sneaking suspicion that “jerry” was a female in a suit, in lieu of the perhaps more appropriate “wolf in sheep’s clothing”, I thank you Benignbullet you are a true ManHero.

 
 
Comment by Jerry
2007-11-17 16:51:32

Going by stats,men are more illiterate than women.Most of you were taught to read by your mother or female teacher. This site is for sissies,not men. Just as there are females,not women…..you are males,not men. Are all your mothers whores,stupid,etc.? Oh,wait…they produced males instead of men. I’m tired of reading the writings of pissed off,angry,cry baby males.Get a grip,life is what you make it. You create your own reality. Real men don’t need your site.

 
Comment by Benignbullet
2007-11-13 02:02:16

sonyad said:

Now, now. Opposites attract.

Brilliant manquip.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2006-10-11 16:12:47

Neither are we. She’s a woman.

-Dick

 
Comment by GnominClature
2006-10-10 18:33:11

LoL!

veriveriteri is my ex-girlfriend; I am not surprised that she still doesn’t get the simple act of communication.

 
Comment by Billy
2006-08-27 14:18:54

Female said:

Can you do or say anything else but whinge and tell me to F off Billy? Oh that’s right, you aren’t intelligent enough to actually engage me in conversation and resort to insults to hide your fear.

I have no fear of a woman.

You see there shouldn’t be an argument with you at all since you can’t understand what the hell “No women allowed” means.

You are pathetic and don’t make decent conversation. It’s sad that there are women like you in this world. Unfortunately there are plenty dimwits just like you. Once again fuk off…

All this preparation H and this damn hemorrhoid keeps coming back!

 
Comment by gwallan
2006-08-27 09:17:03

Female said:

gwallan said:

Oh come on. This is a (term used advisedly)woman to whom the mechanics of operating a toilet seat is inexplicable high technolgy.
Let her stay. Please. Pretty please. I crave the occasional doses of her moronic, feminut, droning. It serves as a constant, and easily accessible, reminder of my own intellectual superiority.

gwallan, gwallan, gwallan, whatever shall I do with you? And whatever will Mrs Allan do when she finds out you’ve hit middle age and started to sit on the toilet to pee?

Thankyou for getting my name right for a change. Clearly the repetition in this post will help you in that.
There is no Mrs Allan. My other half uses her own name which bothers me not one jot.
It might shock you but I do sometimes sit on the dunny to piss. I have no problem admitting this. Do you have a point apart from a (snicker)piss weak attempt at ad hominem?

 
Comment by Female
2006-08-27 05:56:00

Can you do or say anything else but whinge and tell me to F off Billy? Oh that’s right, you aren’t intelligent enough to actually engage me in conversation and resort to insults to hide your fear.

 
Comment by Billy
2006-08-27 05:47:31

Female said:

gwallan, gwallan, gwallan, whatever shall I do with you? And whatever will Mrs Allan do when she finds out you’ve hit middle age and started to sit on the toilet to pee?

Another pointless and lame attempt at insulting a man.

Is that all you can do female? You women really have no clue how to make people happy. I’ts just not possible for you are too stupid.
And no we’re not going to give in one day and claim that we like you and want you to stay… So fuck off.

 
Comment by Female
2006-08-26 18:56:00

gwallan said:

Oh come on. This is a (term used advisedly)woman to whom the mechanics of operating a toilet seat is inexplicable high technolgy.
Let her stay. Please. Pretty please. I crave the occasional doses of her moronic, feminut, droning. It serves as a constant, and easily accessible, reminder of my own intellectual superiority.

gwallan, gwallan, gwallan, whatever shall I do with you? And whatever will Mrs Allan do when she finds out you’ve hit middle age and started to sit on the toilet to pee?

 
Comment by Elitist_Prick
2006-08-23 19:32:45

Dick Masterson said:

veriveriteri said:

I agree. The general female mentality is one that is quite unattractive. Which might explain why I’m in here with a bunch of men, albeit somewhat hostile men!

Perhaps you missed the giant disclaimer on the front page of the site:

NO WOMEN ALLOWED!

-Dick

Yet another failed reading test. Not to mention, simple instructions.

 
Comment by gwallan
2006-08-23 18:50:00

veriveriteri said:

Wait a minute.. if you don’t want women here, then why do you keep addressing us? You just like making provoking comments under the safe umbrella of rhetoric?

That’s quite descriptive of numerous feminist web sites, fora and blogs around the place. Sauce for the goose and all that stuff.
There are plenty of warm and cosy “women’s only” spaces out there for the strong, independent, feisty woman. Unfortunately the universe couldn’t give a fuck about warm and cosy or strong, independant and feisty. So if you come here we give you a dose of the real universe and a dose of your own medicine to boot.
There’s plenty of tree houses around that are for girls only. Piss off to one of them.
And read the sign on your way out.
NO GURLS ALOUD

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-08-23 09:28:11

Now, now. Opposites attract.

 
Comment by Billy
2006-08-23 09:21:55

diamatik said:

Look at all that feminine integrity. At least wait more than 24hrs before you renege, damn woman.

I must call you on this..
Women and integrity don’t belong in the same sentence.

 
Comment by diamatik
2006-08-23 07:50:25

veriveriteri said: August 22nd, 2006

Alrighty, Dick. You win. I’m gone.

veriveriteri said: August 23rd, 2006

Wait a minute … blah blah babble babble …

Look at all that feminine integrity. At least wait more than 24hrs before you renege, damn woman.

 
Comment by veriveriteri
2006-08-23 07:16:22

Wait a minute.. if you don’t want women here, then why do you keep addressing us? You just like making provoking comments under the safe umbrella of rhetoric?

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-08-23 07:14:17

So wasn’t vvt astromuffzoid?

 
Comment by gwallan
2006-08-23 07:01:20

Hey, where did the quote go? It’s bloody Fem isn’t it. Should have known.

Let’s try that again.

veriveriteri said:

Alrighty, Dick. You win. I’m gone.

Good.
You were only here to “pick up� anyway.
Ahhhh, that’s better.

 
Comment by gwallan
2006-08-23 06:57:51

Good.
You were only here to “pick up” anyway.

 
Comment by gwallan
2006-08-23 06:43:25

Billy said:

Female said:

No, the general male mentality and hostility displayed on this site is what is somewhat, nay, extremely, unattractive. I used to share your viewpoint veriveriteri, however, after spending some time here, I am now actually better able to appreciate what is so positive about being a woman and all the things we are/do that are better. Don’t forget those and don’t bother mentioning them here either, it’d be like throwing candy or bananas.

No you twit you haven’t ever agreed with the men here.
And the reason you don’t bother mentioning things you do better than men is because you can’t think of anything that could be proven. End of story. Now fuck off you dumb bitch.

Oh come on. This is a (term used advisedly)woman to whom the mechanics of operating a toilet seat is inexplicable high technolgy.
Let her stay. Please. Pretty please. I crave the occasional doses of her moronic, feminut, droning. It serves as a constant, and easily accessible, reminder of my own intellectual superiority.

 
Comment by Billy
2006-08-23 05:11:12

Female said:

No, the general male mentality and hostility displayed on this site is what is somewhat, nay, extremely, unattractive. I used to share your viewpoint veriveriteri, however, after spending some time here, I am now actually better able to appreciate what is so positive about being a woman and all the things we are/do that are better. Don’t forget those and don’t bother mentioning them here either, it’d be like throwing candy or bananas.

No you twit you haven’t ever agreed with the men here.
And the reason you don’t bother mentioning things you do better than men is because you can’t think of anything that could be proven. End of story. Now fuck off you dumb bitch.

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-08-23 03:43:59

And completely unforeseen one of Female’s posts suddenly surfaces stealthily and charges from behind.

Is ‘nay’ your latest hapless plaything, Female? You seem to be over Gwallan’s cruotches, thankfully.

 
Comment by gwallan
2006-08-22 23:59:37

Couple of months back there were news articles praising girls because they used computers to communicate more than boys who apparently only use them for games.
So women are more computer savvy than men apparently. Of course creating a constant stream of useless gossip over
a network clearly indicates greater technical proficiency.

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-08-22 15:38:20

Ah. The sound of solitude once more.

 
Comment by Female
2006-08-22 13:34:54

veriveriteri said:

I agree. The general female mentality is one that is quite unattractive. Which might explain why I’m in here with a bunch of men, albeit somewhat hostile men!

No, the general male mentality and hostility displayed on this site is what is somewhat, nay, extremely, unattractive. I used to share your viewpoint veriveriteri, however, after spending some time here, I am now actually better able to appreciate what is so positive about being a woman and all the things we are/do that are better. Don’t forget those and don’t bother mentioning them here either, it’d be like throwing candy or bananas.

 
Comment by Billy
2006-08-22 13:19:37

rofl

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2006-08-22 12:50:09

You could have just fucked off without saying so.

-Dick

 
Comment by veriveriteri
2006-08-22 12:38:42

Alrighty, Dick. You win. I’m gone.

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-08-22 11:33:07

I do not find what he does particularly savoury or admirable, nor do I indulge in his spoils. But it’s really rather amusing, I must say. I’m sure a woman would store such facts handy so as to have something to blow the whistle on when she wants leverage, revenge, or simply feels like being a skank.

Women are excellent at recalling shit like that from 10000 years ago that’s been thoroughly made up for 10000 times over when the skankness hits.

Diamatik. Perhaps you’re right. For all we know she might have been thinking she’s working a microwave oven. That would explain her being so utterly hopeless with a pc as well.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2006-08-22 11:08:49

veriveriteri said:

I agree. The general female mentality is one that is quite unattractive. Which might explain why I’m in here with a bunch of men, albeit somewhat hostile men!

Perhaps you missed the giant disclaimer on the front page of the site:

NO WOMEN ALLOWED!

-Dick

 
Comment by diamatik
2006-08-22 08:38:33

sonyad said:
And this after a decade or more of using computers.

I call your bullshit, sonyad! Women did not know about computers until after they heard about the Y2K bug.

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-08-22 08:14:20

The coolest thing is any computer I use, manage or am in charge of maintenance of works flawlessly, does not get cluttered, does not fill up with spyware, does not turn sluggish, does not catch viruses. Naturally, it doesn’t go unnoticed and there’s always someone pestering me to help her with something she fucked up.

A friend of mine even moonlights as a homecall pc fixit guy. Everytime he’s short of change he logs on and connects to the unbeknownst radmin server he’s installed on a the pc of one of his female customers he services. Not that she would have a bloody clue what that is or what it does if she even knew it was there in the first place.

The broad’s loaded so no sweat. All he does is delete some shortcut or some more discreet silly shit like that in the middle of the night or when the computer’s not being used. Sure enough, a phone call ensues shortly thereafter or the next day. Presto changeo, he’s got enough dough to last him till next week. Even cooler, she lives in the same building. Silly cow never catches on. He’s got other cash cows he milks though none quite like this one. The woman’s lost in space if you delete a shortcut. And this after a decade or more of using computers.

 
Comment by veriveriteri
2006-08-22 08:08:57

I agree. The general female mentality is one that is quite unattractive. Which might explain why I’m in here with a bunch of men, albeit somewhat hostile men!

 
Comment by mike
2006-08-22 07:52:01

Don’t forget web browsing for possible holiday destinations and shopping for more useless clutter, while similtaneously forwarding on baby/kitten/puppy photos, speaking to mum on the phone and negotiating which coffee shop to spend lunchtime in with female collegues.

I think that covers everything women do at work.

 
Comment by diamatik
2006-08-22 07:33:38

FreeCell, Solitaire, e-mailing shitty forwards, sending e-greetings and a place to put silly-fluffy toys. Those are what computers wer made for.

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-08-22 06:58:03

That pales in comparison to my cousine switching off a mouseless computer with 3 hlds and 1 http server running on it from the power source switch while I was away. I’d deactivated the front panel switch’s shutdown function after a similar prior incident with my mom. At the time I was off to a lan party with the mouse. It’s a gaming grade LogiTech. The servers were back home. She figured it was off cause I’d put the monitor on standby and was trying to start it so she could play freecell, you see?

Not that the loud custom cooling and disk drives humming from inside the open case could have been remotely observable or audible.

 
Comment by diamatik
2006-08-22 06:42:34

.

Big Al said:

And then there’s those little fluffy toys they put on top of their monitors. The purpose of these is so that if a man has to do something to the system unit, the toys all fall on the floor and the woman has something to complain about.

Fortunately, someone has done something about this, by inventing the LCD monitor, which is too thin to balance the toys on. You can bet that that someone was not a woman.

Holy tap-dancing shit! I thought it was only in my region that they did such foolish things. It is amazing how they are the same in every society.

 
Comment by Big Al
2006-08-22 06:34:11

diamatik said:
I’m sure every man can attest to the fact that 99% of all silly unwanted forwards that end by saying “send this to at least 25 people or else … ” came to your inbox from a woman.

And then there’s those little fluffy toys they put on top of their monitors. The purpose of these is so that if a man has to do something to the system unit, the toys all fall on the floor and the woman has something to complain about.

Fortunately, someone has done something about this, by inventing the LCD monitor, which is too thin to balance the toys on. You can bet that that someone was not a woman.

-Big Al

 
Comment by Billy
2006-08-21 18:41:18

veriveriteri said:

Damn, wish I could go out for a beer with you guys. (Teri says in secret disguise, as she’s not allowed here ~ although you did at one point say, ladies, which I have never been accused of being!)

Ladies may be used as politeness at times, but we men are aware of the fact that no real Ladies exist anymore.

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-08-21 14:54:58

This ain’t no slinky pinky oprah blog.

 
Comment by veriveriteri
2006-08-21 14:13:48

Damn, wish I could go out for a beer with you guys. (Teri says in secret disguise, as she’s not allowed here ~ although you did at one point say, ladies, which I have never been accused of being!)

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-08-21 09:46:37

Never could figure out what’s with women and pink. Must be the selfish and algae.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2006-08-21 09:33:52

I’m sure you didn’t wake them up with the smell of a home cooked breakfast.

-Dick

 
Comment by wolfe
2006-08-21 09:33:28

Oh my. A pink website with a first post headed “Emotional Integrity” that ladles out the stock 70’s feminist line on terminating a marriage, and the following post “The more men change… the more they f—ing stay the same”.

I’d say welcome to the site, Teri, but you’re a woman so I really shouldn’t. Caught between politeness (since at least you were polite in your posts and didn’t hide who you were) and site rules.

At least you spell “voila” correctly and can use the word “akimbo” in a sentence.
-wolfe

 
Comment by veriveriteri
2006-08-21 07:34:09

I’ll freely admit that I’m technologically retarded. Oh fuck… forgot to get the kids up for school!

 
Comment by abaddon_fff
2006-08-18 15:00:39

I guess it would depend on what they define as important, most women are handed jobs so work isn’t on their mind, however those emails are the absolute TOP priority on their lists.

 
Comment by diamatik
2006-08-18 07:04:25

Technically women can read.

Yes, and technically they can use e-mail too. But as was said, they are e-fucking-stupid. I’m sure every man can attest to the fact that 99% of all silly unwanted forwards that end by saying “send this to at least 25 people or else … ” came to your inbox from a woman.

It amazes me that they are able to send this useless crap to my inbox with precision, but if they are needed to send an e-mail for work/business or anything else important - - - then they fuck it up.

 
Comment by Antifreke
2006-08-18 05:20:36

and then they break it again.

 
Comment by son of the suns
2006-08-18 04:04:47

Hahaha absolutely true.

Anyone who doubts this should share a PC with a woman.

Spyware and viruses as thick as sand in the desert, oh and “they didn’t do it”. The eGhost did it. Women believe in that shit.

And after you fix what they fucked up, they’re ungreatful.

 
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