Women Are eStupid
Can I ask a serious question here? How the fuck are women supposed to be equal to men when they can’t harness the communication medium of the 21st century. The typed fucking word?
They can’t. Women can’t email for shit, they can’t do the text messaging each other on the computer thing for shit (I don’t know what that’s called because I’m a man), and they can’t do the text messaging each other on the phone for shit (same reason).
That’s why they do all three of those all the fucking time. They can’t get it right the first time.
How many times, as a man, do you have to fix a 1967 Dodge Charger with a broken fuel pump? Seven times. Once to fix it and six more times to hang out with your man friends and cruise for hot girls.
That’s a joke, but my man point which lies under the joke remains. Men do things the right way the first time and we do them expediently. That’s why we don’t take like a half hour in the sack. It’s because we know what the fuck we’re doing. Women wander aimlessly around the bedroom like they’re lost in a labyrinth of body parts.
“Am I supposed to twist this?”
No! You are not supposed to twist anything! You twist a bottle top. You twist a fucking screwdriver. Noticing a pattern? Twist things that are recyclable, not things that are attached to anyone.
Women can’t write emails for shit. They send them back and forth all day like they’re shopping for useless junk, each one more useless than the last. At first I thought the problem was women and their rampant illiteracy.
I’ve spoken before on this global epidemic. Something like 50% of women are completely illiterate. And I’m not completely sure, but I doubt that stat includes the number of women who can “technically” read, but actually cannot. Let me explain.
Women are like squirrels or chickens. I’ve seen a squirrel ride skis. I’ve seen a chicken play a piano. They both performed their respective tasks like shit and I’m pretty sure neither one knew what in the fuck it was doing, but “technically” they did it. Technically a squirrel can water ski and technically a chicken can play a fucking piano.
Technically women can read.
They completely can’t though. Give a woman a basic reading comprehension test. Let’s say a big red fucking sign that says STOP or a sign that says No Fucking U-Turns! 9 times out of 10 a woman will fail that test. Here’s another basic reading comprehension test for you. Take a woman to dinner and drop a bill in front of her. It’s all Greek to her unless she is!
It was at that point that I thought, ‘I’m a man. Of course the first thing I thought was right.’ And it was. Women can’t email for shit because they can’t read.
It’s not because their primary mode of communication is passive aggression. It’s not because they naturally assume the worst of any tone that isn’t expressly implied by facial signals or vocal intonations. It’s not because women in the workplace face overwhelming pressure and suffer a crippling paranoia. It’s because they can’t fucking read.
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Ladies may be used as politeness at times, but we men are aware of the fact that no real Ladies exist anymore.
This ain’t no slinky pinky oprah blog.
Damn, wish I could go out for a beer with you guys. (Teri says in secret disguise, as she’s not allowed here ~ although you did at one point say, ladies, which I have never been accused of being!)
Never could figure out what’s with women and pink. Must be the selfish and algae.
I’m sure you didn’t wake them up with the smell of a home cooked breakfast.
-Dick
Oh my. A pink website with a first post headed “Emotional Integrity” that ladles out the stock 70’s feminist line on terminating a marriage, and the following post “The more men change… the more they f—ing stay the same”.
I’d say welcome to the site, Teri, but you’re a woman so I really shouldn’t. Caught between politeness (since at least you were polite in your posts and didn’t hide who you were) and site rules.
At least you spell “voila” correctly and can use the word “akimbo” in a sentence.
-wolfe
I’ll freely admit that I’m technologically retarded. Oh fuck… forgot to get the kids up for school!
I guess it would depend on what they define as important, most women are handed jobs so work isn’t on their mind, however those emails are the absolute TOP priority on their lists.
Yes, and technically they can use e-mail too. But as was said, they are e-fucking-stupid. I’m sure every man can attest to the fact that 99% of all silly unwanted forwards that end by saying “send this to at least 25 people or else … ” came to your inbox from a woman.
It amazes me that they are able to send this useless crap to my inbox with precision, but if they are needed to send an e-mail for work/business or anything else important - - - then they fuck it up.
and then they break it again.
Hahaha absolutely true.
Anyone who doubts this should share a PC with a woman.
Spyware and viruses as thick as sand in the desert, oh and “they didn’t do it”. The eGhost did it. Women believe in that shit.
And after you fix what they fucked up, they’re ungreatful.