Women Are The Special Olympics

If there’s one thing you learn after dealing with the mentally handicapped for an extended period of time, it’s that they all want one thing: to be treated equally.

Also graham crackers.

Women are a lot like the mentally handicapped in that way. The only difference is women don’t deserve it — equality or graham crackers.

History is filled with examples of disabled men overcoming obstacles and taking care of business in a manly fashion. Several presidents have been handicapped. Also that guy from Goonies, I’m pretty sure he was retarded. One thing, however, remains the same. No matter how many chromosomes a man is born with, he wants the playing field even. Fairness is unto manliness. He also wants to be treated the same as everyone else.

What a surprise that a woman invented the Special Olympics.

The Special Olympics is for the mentally handicapped what a Chinese lady with an umbrella is for me. It’s something I do not fucking want around. Chinese ladies will stab your goddamn eyeballs out with those things. The Chinese character for ‘opportunity’ is the same as ‘crisis’, and I’m willing to bet that’s not the only Chinese character with a Chinese double meaning. ‘Umbrella’ in Chinese is probably the same as ‘eyeball toothpick wheel’. That’s why the Chinese don’t like baby girls. Their women can’t even carry umbrellas correctly, their little girls must be fucking nightmares.

One time while I was watching the Special Olympics, I saw a retarded weight lifter throw up about two gallons of orange juice. It was so hilarious I still think about that image at least once a week a decade later. Does that sound like the kind of thing the mentally handicapped need?

No. It’s humiliating. The mentally handicapped need training for minimum wage jobs and volunteers to help them keep their shit together. They don’t need committees planning fucking parades and testing them for steroids just so they can go out and throw up a cubic foot of orange juice on national television. You can’t not laugh at that no matter who you are. Jesus would have laughed at that.

Women need national recognition for their accomplishments; physical, emotional, or otherwise. Men don’t; whether we’re mentally handicapped or not. Let’s say a woman married a millionaire with no penis. Well that’s the greatest accomplishment a woman can achieve. You bet your ass she’s going to want a parade.

When a woman hits the gym for two weeks in a row, she needs an Olympic sized parade in her honor. That’s why women have such a hard-on for the Special Olympics. They think accomplishments aren’t accomplishments until they’re shoved down everyone’s fucking throat.

I respect the shit out of retarded athletes. But that’s where it ends. I don’t print the sentiment on a bumper sticker and then tackily adhere it to the chrome backside of a fifty thousand dollar SUV some man paid for. That would make me a woman instead of a different gender which brims with class and discretion. That gender is The Man.

I respect retarded athletes so much that I laugh my ass off when they vomit two gallons of orange juice all over the place.

Now this is a true story. Many years ago I was with a friend in a bowling alley who was not only too drunk to bowl, but he was also too drunk to not have passed out on the floor of the bathroom. When I found him like that, I did what any man would do. I kicked him in the stomach. Whether you’re mentally handicapped or too drunk to not get kicked in the stomach, it’s hilarious when you throw up. The only difference is, Drunk Guy Olympics wouldn’t make women feel like they’ve done something with their lives.

They haven’t.

Did you know the Special Olympics is the only organization legally allowed to use ‘Olympics’ in its title? That’s true. It’s just like how women are the only other species legally allowed to use ‘man’ in their name. Except for Manatees, which are a fat and slothful creature for which nature has only one equal: women.

Coincidence?

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169 Comments in 169 threads.»

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Comment by Dr Z
2007-04-03 11:28:11

“Besides, when was the last time you ever heard of a woman being ordered to pay child-support to her ex-partner? I bet you can’t find a single example.”

I’m the example.

 
Comment by Necroswordsman
2007-04-03 06:46:28

Female said:

98%?! Prove it. As I assume you are a man, that shouldnt be too hard, should it?

Oh like you have given anything which constitutes proof.

 
Comment by Heretic
2007-04-03 06:22:54

I find it increasingly annoying that women always demand - as though it’s their god given right - to be included in anything that men are doing, such as the Olympics. It reminds me of the spoilt child who moans and wails until it gets a big, fat, dummy shoved in its fat, ugly, undeserving face.

Women are very much like children in this respect. They always want to do what the adults (men) are doing and will throw temper-tantrums if they don’t get their own way. It’s pathetic.

 
Comment by son of the suns
2007-04-03 06:01:28

BovineAge35SingleObeseFemale, said “You should keep an open, inquiring and critical mind. If you are unable to criticise your own gender then you are blind and totally biased.”

Yes, because you have always been very critical of your “sisters” in harlotry and state sponsored theft.

Oh wait.. you haven’t scum.

 
Comment by Heretic
2007-04-03 05:47:50

Female said:

98%?! Prove it. As I assume you are a man, that shouldnt be too hard, should it?

I shouldn’t have to prove it because it’s self-evident. Everyone knows that the vast majority of single-parents are female. I only ever met one male single-parent in my entire life and that was because the mother ran off with another man.

Besides, when was the last time you ever heard of a woman being ordered to pay child-support to her ex-partner? I bet you can’t find a single example.

 
Comment by jxbx
2007-04-03 05:31:02

Female said:You have already incriminated yourself elsewhere about having “crippled” friends and stating that if they were to compete in the Special Olympics that it would just be a freakshow, ie, you think your “friends” are freaks. How much clearer could you be?

Wow, you are smart. “I have known crippled people in the past” does not have the same meaning as “I have friends who are crippled,” moron. Again, read that as many times as it takes to sink in. And in my opinion the Special Olympics IS a freak show. It’s not a showcase of talent, it’s base pandering to a social group percieved to be in need of sympathy. It’s insulting, plain and simple.

Female said:ajax, how do you know if Aust is filled with misogynists? To have an opinion on that you would have to live here and if you live here, well, I rest my case.

You rest your case? Really? No evidence, no independent testimony? Just resting that case. My, that’s a waterproof tactic you’ve got there missy. No really, you do the systerhood proud. It’s no wonder you’re the superior species.

 
Comment by Female
2007-04-03 05:06:41

ajax, how do you know if Aust is filled with misogynists? To have an opinion on that you would have to live here and if you live here, well, I rest my case. You have already incriminated yourself elsewhere about having “crippled” friends and stating that if they were to compete in the Special Olympics that it would just be a freakshow, ie, you think your “friends” are freaks. How much clearer could you be?

 
Comment by Female
2007-04-03 04:59:13

98%?! Prove it. As I assume you are a man, that shouldnt be too hard, should it?

 
Comment by jxbx
2007-04-03 04:55:39

Female said:

btw Dick, bring your articles up to speed, we’re not talking about Special Olympics now, that was last week. This week is about how much BS MRA types spread and how they have successfully lobbied the AU govt to force amendments to Acts which will just cause more heartache to women and children. Make no mistake, ladies and “gentlemen”, Australia is a misogynist’s wonderland.

I remember you. You’re the smarmy little cow who tried to put words in my mouth. Like most women you seem to be flighty and emotionally driven, but if by some miracle you remember your last words to me I’d like to state that I have at this juncture no handicapped friends, and at no point did I refer to them as “freaks”. Got that? Feel free to read it as many times as it takes you to understand.

Female said:Make no mistake, ladies and “gentlemen”, Australia is a misogynist’s wonderland.

Bollocks. You’re so full of shit I’m surprised you’re not subject to EPA regulations.

 
Comment by Heretic
2007-04-03 04:49:07

Female said:
The law is biased against women!

If the law is so ‘biased’ against women, how come men lose their children in 98% of cases and are ordered to pay a regular dividend to the woman who took them away? I can’t think of a more obscene injustice than that.

I’m sorry but your lies are grotesque.

 
Comment by Female
2007-04-03 04:44:59

Romania - land of the free.

Sonyad, ever heard of a place pronounced Codlier, North of Bucharest? It is on TV as I speak. Seems it is a home for “mentally impaired” girls, one of those gawdawful orphanage legacies of Nicholei the communist. The worker at the institution is busy telling the journalist that the girls only have IQs of 17 except the girls appear to be bilingual and are awfully productive seamstresses in the illegal clothing workshop the centre has set up in the institution. It is awfully quaint just how liberated women are in your country. It is also great to see homeless children living in underground “heating” shafts in the parks in bucharest, busily sniffing glue all day. What else? The show has just said that children are still being abandoned at the same rate as they were during the communist years while your country is apparently receiving millions in foreign aid to support single mothers and children.
Oh sorry, that is all, now we are in Panama, preferred place for North American retirees who cant afford Florida.

 
Comment by diamatik
2007-04-03 04:38:34

Female said:

btw Dick, bring your articles up to speed, we’re not talking about Special Olympics now, that was last week.

You’re quite correct! After all, this is your site and so you have 100% of the authority to determine the content on it, especially since the site doesn’t have a NO WOMEN ALLOWED disclaimer on it. Bravo, Female, let us all talk about what you want us to talk about, oh great webmaster mistress.

 
Comment by Necroswordsman
2007-04-03 04:36:26

Female said:

Regarding the custody issue - you are wrong as per usual. Things are never as bad as some men would want you to believe to suit their own agenda. You should keep an open, inquiring and critical mind. If you are unable to criticise your own gender then you are blind and totally biased.

First, your doing the same thing. Second, I do criticise my own gender. And this:

Female said:

Women are better than men.

This proves you are a hypocrite and thus.

 
Comment by Female
2007-04-03 04:21:27

They don’t need committees planning fucking parades and testing them for steroids just so they can go out and throw up a cubic foot of orange juice on national television. You can’t not laugh at that no matter who you are. Jesus would have laughed at that.

Do you think his mother would have laughed at that? No. Women are better than men.

 
Comment by Female
2007-04-03 03:20:55

The only people I’ve seen on this site talking about male TV presenters being paedophiles, are men. Making up BS about what women do or say and then having a rant about it is almost like watching Mulder and Scully stakeout Area 51. Provide some facts not make believe. And try and give some examples that aren’t extreme outliers.

Regarding the custody issue - you are wrong as per usual. Things are never as bad as some men would want you to believe to suit their own agenda. You should keep an open, inquiring and critical mind. If you are unable to criticise your own gender then you are blind and totally biased.

 
Comment by Necroswordsman
2007-04-03 03:11:41

And how about women never get custody of the child. Oooh wow yeah the law is REALLY biased.

 
Comment by Necroswordsman
2007-04-03 03:10:47

Female said:

The law is biased against women!

The same fucking feminist excuse. Complain about something else like how all childrens presenters are paedophiles.

 
Comment by Female
2007-04-03 03:01:18

I thought it was suitable for it’s intended audience because to read what gets “scientifically” and “statistically” quoted here, it is obvious that the male posters here don’t actually read professional journals.

 
Comment by lonewolf
2007-04-03 01:48:16

haha i found this site when i was tryin to search for people who agree with how useless and pitiful women are. there is only one thing they’re useful for and that is sex.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2007-04-03 01:30:11

Female said:

I certainly don’t have time to read Dicks article because here is something far more enlightening for you MRA types.

http://www.omsys.com/mmcd/courtrev.htm

Nothing gives a paper credibility like ugly text on a crappy grey background.

-Dick

 
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