Women Are The Special Olympics
If there’s one thing you learn after dealing with the mentally handicapped for an extended period of time, it’s that they all want one thing: to be treated equally.
Also graham crackers.
Women are a lot like the mentally handicapped in that way. The only difference is women don’t deserve it — equality or graham crackers.
History is filled with examples of disabled men overcoming obstacles and taking care of business in a manly fashion. Several presidents have been handicapped. Also that guy from Goonies, I’m pretty sure he was retarded. One thing, however, remains the same. No matter how many chromosomes a man is born with, he wants the playing field even. Fairness is unto manliness. He also wants to be treated the same as everyone else.
What a surprise that a woman invented the Special Olympics.
The Special Olympics is for the mentally handicapped what a Chinese lady with an umbrella is for me. It’s something I do not fucking want around. Chinese ladies will stab your goddamn eyeballs out with those things. The Chinese character for ‘opportunity’ is the same as ‘crisis’, and I’m willing to bet that’s not the only Chinese character with a Chinese double meaning. ‘Umbrella’ in Chinese is probably the same as ‘eyeball toothpick wheel’. That’s why the Chinese don’t like baby girls. Their women can’t even carry umbrellas correctly, their little girls must be fucking nightmares.
One time while I was watching the Special Olympics, I saw a retarded weight lifter throw up about two gallons of orange juice. It was so hilarious I still think about that image at least once a week a decade later. Does that sound like the kind of thing the mentally handicapped need?
No. It’s humiliating. The mentally handicapped need training for minimum wage jobs and volunteers to help them keep their shit together. They don’t need committees planning fucking parades and testing them for steroids just so they can go out and throw up a cubic foot of orange juice on national television. You can’t not laugh at that no matter who you are. Jesus would have laughed at that.
Women need national recognition for their accomplishments; physical, emotional, or otherwise. Men don’t; whether we’re mentally handicapped or not. Let’s say a woman married a millionaire with no penis. Well that’s the greatest accomplishment a woman can achieve. You bet your ass she’s going to want a parade.
When a woman hits the gym for two weeks in a row, she needs an Olympic sized parade in her honor. That’s why women have such a hard-on for the Special Olympics. They think accomplishments aren’t accomplishments until they’re shoved down everyone’s fucking throat.
I respect the shit out of retarded athletes. But that’s where it ends. I don’t print the sentiment on a bumper sticker and then tackily adhere it to the chrome backside of a fifty thousand dollar SUV some man paid for. That would make me a woman instead of a different gender which brims with class and discretion. That gender is The Man.
I respect retarded athletes so much that I laugh my ass off when they vomit two gallons of orange juice all over the place.
Now this is a true story. Many years ago I was with a friend in a bowling alley who was not only too drunk to bowl, but he was also too drunk to not have passed out on the floor of the bathroom. When I found him like that, I did what any man would do. I kicked him in the stomach. Whether you’re mentally handicapped or too drunk to not get kicked in the stomach, it’s hilarious when you throw up. The only difference is, Drunk Guy Olympics wouldn’t make women feel like they’ve done something with their lives.
They haven’t.
Did you know the Special Olympics is the only organization legally allowed to use ‘Olympics’ in its title? That’s true. It’s just like how women are the only other species legally allowed to use ‘man’ in their name. Except for Manatees, which are a fat and slothful creature for which nature has only one equal: women.
Coincidence?
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It’s the big powerful men that can buy what they want. The hidden hand wants to rule the world through New World order. Women are just pawns in the game and are being used to take power from the common man.
It’s the men that stand in the way of global government.
I’d hardly call politicians “men”.
Eunochs perhaps.
No women allowed.
-Dick
I know what you are getting at, but what i meant about women is they are like a virus. Even the strongest bodybuilder can get sick.
So if men are behind it all, why are you complaining that women have fucked up the world…if men are so powerful and have so much control of the world (more than women) then it follows that if the world is fucking up that is due to the actions of men?
Everyone knows that there is a man behind it -all-. Pulling all the strings.
Its just men doing what hidden hand prefer.
Promoting womens rights and pushing them into the work force is good for the economy because women blow money and keep the cash flowing.
It also brings in more taxes and drops the birth rates.
Because the male politicians are full of corruption and just want to look good in front of everyone so they act on the emotions and expectations drilled into people by things like the bible. Indirectly this is how women have some affect. Not of their own achievments, but other parties
Actually I don’t anymore since Dick replied to my Ask Dick question. Feminism has not changed anything. And I believe him.
Just messing with an on-line translator. I’m not even sure if I said it correctly.
Diamatik, are you messing with my mind or are you just having Big Al over?
That does seem to be your ip and all…
This is just too weird for school!
aerofagie cerebrala
But you don’t seem to understand the contradiction between the assertion that men are “better” and “contribute more” to society and yet they have no power at all over something so “inferior” and a group that doesn’t contribute at all to society (women). It doesn’t add up.
A lot of guys here like pointing out the fact that feminism is the reason for 99% of all society’s ills and yet for all this talk about men “running the show” where is the evidence that men are actually doing that? Why has it taken men so long to change the laws that disadvantage them if they really contribute more to society than women?
If feminism is just a sparkler, why are guys on here claiming it is the sole reason for the future and current decay of all mankind?
Sparklers are showy trash with no potency.
That analogy and current western birth rates don’t match up well.
Yes, a sparkler of death, chaos and destruction. (That was hard to type. I couldn’t stop laughing).
According to Dick, feminism is more like a sparkler really.
Good point.
Feminism is a bomb that must be deactivated, disabled, or destroyed.
Except this bomb doesn’t explode and kill everything near it instantly. It slowly blooms and spreads around the planet giving every patriarichal cultural glory a slow agonizing death. Like a plague.
It’s not that. Almost all of modern society and the laws are based on men fighting in wars and destroying threats for rights. We have built up something strong. And, agreeably, some women have helped. However, most women nowadays are dragging down the world.
Consider it this way. A bomb is about to go off. We have to deactivate it to save the world. This doesn’t mean we are afraid of the bomb, but what will happen if it goes off.
Actually it is the 1% you should be protecting not ignoring.
It is the 1% that could be an example to others. This 1% could be mothers to well adjusted sons and daughters… this number will increase exponentially at each generation, it might be small, but it is better than nothing. The more you encourage and acknowledge that 1% the more likely they will survive and grow. Painting the 1% with the brush of all the others will make them disappear.
Why do men need saving? Do women really have that much power over you?
Actually Z, the fact that you and the other small percentile have honor is meaningless.
We’re trying to achieve power here, and we don’t give a fuck about the 1%. We give a fuck about the 99% of backstabbing traitors.
Your 1% isn’t going to save men from the 99%. We’ll save ourselves. Stay the fuck out of the way.
Z, I know the temptation to respond is almost overwhelming but don’t. Resist, resist. If it kills you, resist.