Women Are The Special Olympics
If there’s one thing you learn after dealing with the mentally handicapped for an extended period of time, it’s that they all want one thing: to be treated equally.
Also graham crackers.
Women are a lot like the mentally handicapped in that way. The only difference is women don’t deserve it — equality or graham crackers.
History is filled with examples of disabled men overcoming obstacles and taking care of business in a manly fashion. Several presidents have been handicapped. Also that guy from Goonies, I’m pretty sure he was retarded. One thing, however, remains the same. No matter how many chromosomes a man is born with, he wants the playing field even. Fairness is unto manliness. He also wants to be treated the same as everyone else.
What a surprise that a woman invented the Special Olympics.
The Special Olympics is for the mentally handicapped what a Chinese lady with an umbrella is for me. It’s something I do not fucking want around. Chinese ladies will stab your goddamn eyeballs out with those things. The Chinese character for ‘opportunity’ is the same as ‘crisis’, and I’m willing to bet that’s not the only Chinese character with a Chinese double meaning. ‘Umbrella’ in Chinese is probably the same as ‘eyeball toothpick wheel’. That’s why the Chinese don’t like baby girls. Their women can’t even carry umbrellas correctly, their little girls must be fucking nightmares.
One time while I was watching the Special Olympics, I saw a retarded weight lifter throw up about two gallons of orange juice. It was so hilarious I still think about that image at least once a week a decade later. Does that sound like the kind of thing the mentally handicapped need?
No. It’s humiliating. The mentally handicapped need training for minimum wage jobs and volunteers to help them keep their shit together. They don’t need committees planning fucking parades and testing them for steroids just so they can go out and throw up a cubic foot of orange juice on national television. You can’t not laugh at that no matter who you are. Jesus would have laughed at that.
Women need national recognition for their accomplishments; physical, emotional, or otherwise. Men don’t; whether we’re mentally handicapped or not. Let’s say a woman married a millionaire with no penis. Well that’s the greatest accomplishment a woman can achieve. You bet your ass she’s going to want a parade.
When a woman hits the gym for two weeks in a row, she needs an Olympic sized parade in her honor. That’s why women have such a hard-on for the Special Olympics. They think accomplishments aren’t accomplishments until they’re shoved down everyone’s fucking throat.
I respect the shit out of retarded athletes. But that’s where it ends. I don’t print the sentiment on a bumper sticker and then tackily adhere it to the chrome backside of a fifty thousand dollar SUV some man paid for. That would make me a woman instead of a different gender which brims with class and discretion. That gender is The Man.
I respect retarded athletes so much that I laugh my ass off when they vomit two gallons of orange juice all over the place.
Now this is a true story. Many years ago I was with a friend in a bowling alley who was not only too drunk to bowl, but he was also too drunk to not have passed out on the floor of the bathroom. When I found him like that, I did what any man would do. I kicked him in the stomach. Whether you’re mentally handicapped or too drunk to not get kicked in the stomach, it’s hilarious when you throw up. The only difference is, Drunk Guy Olympics wouldn’t make women feel like they’ve done something with their lives.
They haven’t.
Did you know the Special Olympics is the only organization legally allowed to use ‘Olympics’ in its title? That’s true. It’s just like how women are the only other species legally allowed to use ‘man’ in their name. Except for Manatees, which are a fat and slothful creature for which nature has only one equal: women.
Coincidence?
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Women are a dispensable tri-hole fuck-bot. That’s it.
Get over yourselves, girls. It’s a buyer’s market= you’re cheap, plentiful- and looking at China more skinny young pussy walking about than served in their restaurants.
Women-
stay slim
Shut-up
smile
look pretty.
shut-up
presuming literacy, master that and we may give you some more privileges.
We’re not holding our breath.
And that’s a bad thing? “Global government” is a euphemism for “put the whole world on welfare and have America pay for it.” Therefore, global government is bullshit.
Yes, we live in everday bullshit government-and it’s everywhere. Somewhere in the alley of thought, in regards to ‘Special Olympics’ and why they exist…you find the grafiti:
“Why does God let bad things happen to good people..err/(cross over) men?”
Yes, God..please. Why? Do you hate me, that you have given me this….lifeform…to share a planet w/ that does everything in the most complicated way except meet or care about my needs and make me happy? Surely, this is torture. It is a joke, at the very least. A sick joke-like spoiled, vicious harpies w/ bumpers stickers that link them to causes they use to promote themselves as nice.
Notice how Jesus was celibate, and on a mission. Alright, who has the backbone to give that up entirely this morning? I think I want mastery of this so bad…I could be ruthless, how’s ’bout you, bro?
So, according to your ‘logic’, the reason the vast majority of single-parents are female is because men, as a whole, are irresponsible scoundrels who have the inclination to evade their parental responsibilities? I think any father reading this would take issue with that accusation!
“No she doesn’t get it,” you freakin’ moron.
The Japanese call this “The Talking Dog”.
A dog comes up to you and speaks to you with perfect grammar, syntax and logical consistency. You are completely amazed, of course. But what you are amazed at is not the content and sentence construction, but that the dog speaks at all!
Ditto
I am so going to plagiarise those statements. It has been an hour since I first read that and I still cannot stop laughing.
Glad to see you posting, lurker.
I always like to say a woman who demonstrates an understanding of anything is like stumbling upon an Everlasting Gobstopper from the classic Willy Wonka movie. Yea, it lasts forever, but who wants to suck on a jack?
Also, it lasts forever. Let’s get a new flavor up in here.
-Dick
When Bush speaks I sense that he believes nothing he says and is being blackmailed for something.
Damn, of COURSE he is! Read about Skull and Bones, and how new initiates have to masturbate in a coffin while relating their former sexual experiences.
It’s not an exaggeration to say that everyone in DC has some dirt on them, something that would be devastating to their families and would mean their ruination, and the FBI has it well documented. And so does Mossad, and every other intelligence agency.
The Bush family is one of the the dirtiest families in American politics and certainly the most unscrupulous. With the single exception of family loyalty, they have no loyalty whatsoever, particularly to the electorate. Just blackmailing stockholders who make large donations (read “bribes”).
(/rant) Please pick up the thread where you left off.
dick,
long time lurker, first time poster. i love this site. i generally enjoy your articles more than the comments that follow them although there are usually at least of few nuggets of gold to be found therein.
i come here every once in a while and catch up on all the new articles. this site is like a super-manly hemorrhoid cream that soothes itching with humour while it reduces swelling with a healthy dose of reason.
in any event, i de-cloak today to simply to say that from what i read of DrZ comments, I neither understand nor condone the attacks on her. having said that, i do not know anything about her nor the history of her posts. i do know this though: finding a woman who demonstrates even the faintest understanding of honor or reason is like stumbling upon a leprechaun who pisses frosty, cold beer - fucking magic! she should be seen as a gift from God!
i am aware that women are completely mad - it’s just that i will always wish it weren’t so…
Hey, heres an idea, Luka, slut genious (another name for that condition is absent personality disorder): Why don’t you make your own women are better than men site and see how that goes - oh, wait, it would just be another drop in the big barrel of anti-male shit out there.
Let me dumb this down for you:
If there is a huge social movement that places all the blame on a certain group or individuals, there is going to be some form of feedback. In short, all the women are better than men websites, Television stations, radio stations, newspapers, etc. are just spreading lies, and predictably, encouraging more well-earned contempt against stupid little stuck-up prudes like you. And like a lightning bolt charging a cable, that feedback is going to bite you right in the ass if you bury yourself in bullshit and hypocracy. Like, say when you talk about castrating a man and get a little more than you bargained for. I’ll leave it to your imagination - no, I won’t. You’ll get your ass kicked. That’s what happens when you go around acting like you’re better than or even on the same level as people who make a hard-earned living just so that you can sit on your fat ass and eat ice cream while you live on your dead husband’s small fortune. There are starving men and women out there, but hell, out of sight, out of mind, right? I need to get to work right now, but underneath those whore-sacks you know in your heart that you’re in for a rude awakening. Read the writing on the walls - ignore the screaming harpy attracting a very disenchanted croud.
No she dont get it.. She is a woman.
Luka, you seem to have an argument. I like the way you think.
When Bush speaks I sense that he believes nothing he says and is being blackmailed for something.
I’d also wager that a vast majority of the male population are also pawns to this arrangement too.
Understatement billy.
Yep, The president is just a puppet. Bushe is very dumb.
And women are just pawns in the game.
I am solid in this by a theory I read about from Douglas Adams where the President has no power, but to draw attention away from it. Yes its fictional, but why is an idiot like Bush the -president- of America. And he can’t even speak english.
Luka, fuck off my website. Think about that.
No women allowed.
-Dick
We blame politicians too. Most everyone hates them.
We blame women for being so damn naive and selling us men out.
Women are just worthless ingrates and yet they always feel they should be pampered and entitled. They want respect and yet give none. They want.. they want… they want… They give? Misery
Okay…but these politicians are still men…and by definition are supposedly better than women… so if women are only “pawns” why do you heap a load of responsibility of the state of the world on women? If women are indeed manipulated by (male) politicians then who is to blame? Think about it.