Women can’t spell
Did you know that women are atrocious spellers? It’s an obscure caveat of womankind that will usually elude detection, but I assure that it’s absolutely true.
In order to prove this I’ve compiled a short list of words that women have historically suffered only complete and disastrous failure when attempting to spell. Here is the list:
Chevrolet
bullion
kernels
sandwich
duct tape
beans
trophy
If you want to see this phenomenon in action (and have quite a good laugh at the absurd letters women will attempt to piece together in desperation) prepare yourself for quite a struggle. You see when asked to do things that they are no good at (ie, driving, thinking that does not involve puppies or how much they hate their best friends) women will defer the task immediately to the nearest man. This includes spelling.
Since it is part of our nature to be of assistance — to be constructive and positive at all times (probably because we know so much about so many fucking things), this ploy will work one hundred percent of the time. It’s typical woman manipulation though and nothing else.
I tested woman’s inability to spell properly in the real world by asking a group of ten women to spell the word foundation, which I learned had something to do with make-up completely by accident in an episode of CSI. I felt that this word-familiarity would give women the manufactured advantage that they so desperately need and crave in every fucking thing that they do.
My results not only proved conclusively that women cannot spell, but also that women will refuse to do any task that they cannot.
Now that we say for certain that men are better than women at spelling as well as everything else, I think as men it is our duty as the superior spellers par excellence to save women the disgrace and humiliation of having to clumsily defer any such spelling requests.
To a woman, the alphabet and its inner workings are like the mysteries of a Jack in the Box in the eyes of a child.
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May 9th, 2005 at 9:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 662c8ed0ef52c
dear all,
i am a 12th grade student who is currently debating of how men are better than women.
Of course i didnt have the choice to pick which team i am on and i am having a hard time finding reasons WHY men are better than women..
if you could help me that would be terrific
Thank you
May 9th, 2005 at 10:41 am - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Sarah,
I don’t know if you read the warning, but women are expressly prohibited from reading this site…only for their own good of course. I suppose I could generate some kind of watered down, picture version of the site for women, but I just don’t have that kind of time.
I believe in your cause, however, so you can keep reading.
Start with the basics in your debate, for example: men always capitalize the word I when referring to themselves — this small caveat serves as a universal standard and makes it easier for people to communicate, thus increasing global quality of life. If women had their way, anything at all would be capitalized and hyphenated. Entire words would be replaced with simply letters. Can you imagine how ridiculous that would be?
Also feel free to use any of the articles here.
-Dick
May 11th, 2005 at 9:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 272b77d9ce10f
In the whole 19 years of my life…I have never known a man that could spell besides you. Now, that’s now saying all men are bad at spelling, I’ve also looked up websites of words that men can’t spell for the life of them. Is it just that you would just prefer to defend manside of the matter, or is it that you just can’t handle the woman side of the matter? I know how to spell chevrolet because I love cars, I don’t know what bullion is, but I doubt I’d need it in my life in order to survive, but it doesn’t mean I can’t spell, I know how to spell kernels though there is no point in the fact that I hate popcorn, I know how to spell sandwich which is also redundant to the fact that I hate sandwiches, though I do love duct tape therefore I do know how to spell it because duct tape rules and is like the force, has a dark side and a light side and holds the universe together, and of course I bloody love beans, they are a magical fruit and I of course use it to the best of my ability though my friends, family, and other living things rather I didn’t, and trophy is easy, you must be finding rather uneducated women, or women who do not need spelling in order to survive their carreer, job or any other manner. I love this website. I’ll make sure to show it to all of my friends, both men and women. Although most of the men I know would be absolutely appalled by it, does that mean they are not men? Or male? How does that work? What happens when a guy doesn’t agree with your thoughts of women? Because he thinks equally of men and women…does that mean he is not a man? Or are you openly just defending your own opinion, or do you think you speak for all men, which in this case is not true. I know men who think women are better than men and they are still just as tough, just as assholeish as any other man I love. I’d love your thoughts on this.
P.S. I don’t know one woman that hates sex….in fact, all the girls I know are pretty much like I….raging nymphos, but only to our men. You must be meeting the wrong women. Good luck on that.
May 11th, 2005 at 1:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
“Uneducated women”…? Now that’s redundant.
May 12th, 2005 at 3:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 272b77d9ce10f
Actually, it’s people in general that’s redundant….but…is that all you have to really say? Did you ever take a debate class?
May 14th, 2005 at 6:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 65ce0a342deb9
badkitty, that is a really stupid name. sorry, i had to say it.
May 24th, 2005 at 11:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: c40e8c3a92978
People IN GENERAL are bad spellers. Doing a “test” on a bunch of stupid women doesn’t prove anything, because a lot of men are too stupid to spell “foundation” as well. About 25% of adults in the U.S. are functionally illiterate, which means they read at a 4th grade reading level. This is pathetic because most people are stupid, not just most women.
May 28th, 2005 at 8:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 38ae76999b940
Dick, until you conduct a test on absolutely every activity in the world and prove that all men are better than all women (who have had equal opportunities and educations) at, at least 51 % of these activities, the phrase “men are better than women” means nothing.