Cooking Up Trouble
To be a great chef it takes dedication, knowledge of various spices, and some amount of sensitivity. That’s why men make better chefs than women, because women have none of those three. Knowing that cinnamon tastes good on their Frapacinos, or whatever candy-ass coffee nightmare that cost a man somewhere 3.95, is not a knowledge of spices.
The kind of chefs women make are the Martha Stewart types; putting glitter on pinecones and that kind of childish bullshit. In other words, making something shitty even shittier by fucking around with it with no purpose.
When a man is a chef, he makes plans and then he executes them — man style. That means directly and as fastidiously as a fucking comet. That’s a recipe for a phenomenal meal. When a woman is a chef, however, she behaves exactly as all women behave in their daily lives: traipsing around like drunken marionettes with their heads in Mexico and without a thought in the world for consequences.
Often times you will hear of a woman’s life being ridiculously fucked up and you’ll wonder, how could it have gotten so bad? Was this woman just traipsing around like a drunken marionette with her head in Mexico?
Yup, you got it.
Note also that the title chef cannot be bastardized into the feminine form. For example: policewoman or lady doctor. This can also be said for the title of judge, which I find interesting. Knowing women as I do, though, I’m sure they’ll find a way to ruin a good thing. Perhaps cheftress?
Women are terrible chefs because they ricochet off their own actions like pinball, never knowing what in the fuck is going on at all. They have zero philosophy.
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Obviously, neither of you have been a widowed mother of three who not only held down a full-time job, but also cooked, cleaned, shopped, etc.
P.S. By the way, my cooking is fabulous:)
P.P.S. What century are you guys living in? I don’t know any couples where both husband AND wife don’t BOTH have to work these days. And in those households, a woman is lucky if her husband shares any of the household chores.
Jeff, let me tell you something. If I agreed with everything you just said any more than I do, I would have to write an article about it.
Which I will first thing tomorrow. Thanks for your input.
-Dick
Hey Dick, you are painfully correct. What makes women even look worse is the fact that while us men have always diligently supported the wife and kids, one of the very few things we have asked women to contribute is to at the very least, cook us a decent meal. But they havent been able to even to get that right. Even though men spend all day working, and women have for generations been taught how to cook and clean, we are STILL better cooks. Is it because women just cant learn even the most mundane things of life? Or is it they sit on the couch all day eating bon bons and watching Oprah like Peg Bundy? She is a perfect example. Her husband spent all day working to support his wife and two kids, and how often did he come home to a cooked meal by a wife who sat on her ass all day? Never. Even if she did try to cook, it would have been a terrible meal of course because it would have been a woman cooking it. Which is what I believe was one of the founding reasons for the inception of No Ma’am (a great organization by the way). It is indeed sad Dick that of the very little we ask in return of everything we’ve done for women, that they can’t even contribute cooking.