Women Put the Guh in Google
All men know that women are terrible at the communication. We see it every day in the form of women dressing like blatant prostitutes when they claim to be the exact opposite — not prostitutes.
That’s bad communicating.
We also see it when we see women screaming like frantic savages in the workplace or in the home after they screw something up. While they’re tearing their hair out and trying to stretch their nostrils as wide as their eyes and their eyes as wide as their mouths and their mouths as wide as a toilet, what they’re actually trying to say is this:
“I’m sorry. You’re actually totally right. How could I have possibly fucked up this badly again?”
The answer is simple elementary, my dear. You’re a woman.
Like usual, I have proof for all of these things. And here it is.
A study conducted by MSN Search (a popular web searching engine of some kind) shows that men on average devote only three minutes for each of the 42 searches on the internet that they do per week. Women, on the other hand, spend five whole fucking minutes on each of their 30 searches. There’s a link to this study at the bottom of this article, but I obviously wouldn’t make something like this up, and even if I did, it’s still obviously true.
Men can sit down, evaluate their thoughts, and express them in such a concise way that even a fucking computer can understand what they’re looking for. That’s how fantastic and mantastic men are at communicating what they’re thinking. They’re so good at it they can do way more searching than women too. And that means more learning — be it about the political climate, ways to become active in the community or things of a nature pornographiqué.
Women, on the other hand, type all kinds of retarded shit into Google. And they take their sweet time doing it! If a woman is looking for places to buy a discount handbag (which she wouldn’t because the nature of womanly things are exactly the opposite) she might type in the phrase.
“Near where I buy my Starbucks”
And that’s after thinking about it for five fucking minutes. Trust me. I’ve seen the stats. They’re not pretty.
I’ve tried communicating with women for many years. For best results I advise a good set of Colorforms and a puppet of Oprah Winfrey. Your results may vary.
Read about women confusing the shit out of search engines.
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August 10th, 2005 at 11:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 1f1cc903e9896
I was referring to A-level results, which are normally taken as 4 subjects at a time, dropping down to 3 in the second year. The coursework is in all subjects and applies to sciences and maths that are becoming increasingly popular with girls (my maths class is slightly more female and there are only 3 males in my class of 20).
August 10th, 2005 at 4:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: f75c92aeb197e
Dick I honestly wonder why it is that you allow women to post here at all let alone why you bother to reply to their ravings. In order to have a reasonable argument each party has to have the ability to concede at some point. The problem is that guys will often admit that they are wrong when they are proved wrong, whereas women will rarely admit that they are wrong thereby adding to their delusion that they are always right.
Added to that their ability to make a totally irrelevant, meaningless point and believe it to be a relevation. Example:
Oh and Dick, a little lesson:
Fact: Women spend longer on google
Opinion: Men can sit down, evaluate their thoughts, and express them in such a concise way that even a fucking computer can understand what they’re looking for
I mean trust a woman to make a comparison between an opinion and a fact and imply a conclusion that women are better. Thats like saying ‘women spend more time getting ready to go out’, or ‘women take longer to get to the supermarket’.
August 13th, 2005 at 4:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 46d8304bbb9af
Geeza, you obviously didn’t understand my point at all, I was explaining to dick the difference between facts and opinions.
Also, the topic of women commenting on here has been covered several times. And every time, it has been said how very boring it would be here without us.
So let’s move on…
August 22nd, 2005 at 8:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 841b5a7609141
Is that a fact?
“Also, the topic of women commenting on here has been covered several times. And every time, it has been said how very boring it would be here without us.”
(Primarily by you, Nicole)
September 19th, 2005 at 7:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 8676b6f19a357
Checked the link to MSN. That article is designed to show us once again how inferior men supposedly are to woman. The fact is that 3 minutes times 42 is a total time of 126 minutes. By contrast 30 times 5 is a total time of 150 minutes. In my opinion that simply shows just how much more efficient men are than women.
I have seen articles like this before - one such lauding women for their superiority over men in an internet gambling environment because they are turning in increasing numbers to this past-time. Part of the ego boost involved a comment by a so-called expert stating how much more simple minded women were in a gaming environment. This was used as a positive for women! It never ceases to amaze me how they end up shooting themselves in the foot.
September 21st, 2005 at 7:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: f397625caf295
Nicole, you are a whore. You know it. We know it. Now, sweetie, go grab your frappuccino, bon bons, and watch your American Idol and Lifetime network programming. Bottom line, leave (which I know you won’t).
September 23rd, 2005 at 4:14 am - IP Man-Hash: fa26700189dcc
hahaha, equalizer, did your spoof make a mess on poor little dicks carpet again? are you trying to make it up to dick by making him feel better about the fact that he is arguing with a bunch of teenage girls (not a pay out to the teenage girls) and he is loosing? aww, a bit of preen carpet cleaner will do the trick, you dont have to kill one of the very few intelligent people of this web site….. what would the rest of us female teenage population do to laugh at the obvious stupidity of the male specis? oh, i forgot…. we just need to look away from the screen for 30 seconds, and thats all the entertainment we will need. now if you excuse me, im going to have a bit of fun and make my life worthwhile. after all, who wants to just look at some childish website devoted to making men feel all warm inside? oh, sorry, thats you boys….. by the way, i happen to be female…. and i hate those shit house idol shows, shopping, fashion, and other such things often associated with teenage girls…. sorry to rain on your parade, you actually thought you had a good come back for a while there, didnt you? well, im sure your used to being wrong by now, the pain of rejection is obviously a familiar comfort to you.
September 23rd, 2005 at 7:34 am - IP Man-Hash: bbdbd8f85eb8a
wow. I have been converted–seriously. I am sorry for my previous outburst. Calling a girl a whore is not nice–nor is it probably true. I know I was generalizing with the American Idol comment, but I couldn’t fit in shows like: Sex and the City, Oprah (she’s not so bad), Friends, Will and Grace, etc. I’m sorry about the stereotype that all women chug fappuccinos like there’s no tomorrow, and I’m sorry I said to leave. It is true that the women who comment here do add a bit of zestiness to this website. Thanks! You ladies add a real woman’s touch to an otherwise mysogynistic sausage fest.
P.S. I like Sandra Bullock–she is spunky and feisty!
September 25th, 2005 at 3:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 56806c0431943
equalizer, I’m not even American. And seeing as you’ve never met me you have no right to call me such things. No one I’ve ever met has.
September 25th, 2005 at 4:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3dddc19b55aad
Yes, silly equalizer.
How you could mix up a playful white chocolate dreamer like Nicole with an American teenage girl demographic?
May 9th, 2006 at 7:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 356b2e2244d02
Girls generally prefer coursework to exams because they love cheating.
With coursework you can get advice/information from so many sources outside school over such a long period its silly. Someone else could practically do your coursework for you and nobody would have a clue. Girls love coursework because even if their first draft is crap, they have enough time to improve on it before the deadline.
With exams, where boys excel (most boys loathe coursework), there’s no room for cheating. You either know it or you don’t.
Take chemistry for example. In the 1950’s the final O-levels exam was a practical. Not surprisingly, for that reason, girls in those days neglected chemistry (mostly out of fear of volatile, unpredictable chemicals). Only a tiny percentage of girls would pass as a result.
Fast-forward to today and you see the practical exam is now replaced by a written one. As a consequence, girls are now gravitating towards chemistry like never before and thanks to coursework, fare much better in their final grades.
How Typical, If women want to achieve anything, they can only do it under a cushioned, sanitised environment.
May 9th, 2006 at 9:29 am - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
That’s a great arguement, mike. I had never thought of that before, however, I have seen men do their “girlfriend’s” assignments more times than I can count.
-Dick
September 23rd, 2007 at 10:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3f1c500bb544
you know what i find funny about the men on here? Is when they find that a woman has something intelligent to say and don’t know how to take it they resort to calling her a whore. Oh my, How very mature. (sarcasm, of course)
October 29th, 2007 at 6:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 844bc4f871fb2
Good point Dick and its been proven by that test are designed to play womens strengths so its a unfair battle ground.
October 29th, 2007 at 7:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 844bc4f871fb2
you know what i find funny about the men on here? Is when they find that a woman has something intelligent to say and don’t know how to take it they resort to calling her a whore. Oh my, How very mature. (sarcasm, of course)
well women make loads of gay swipes so we’re equaling the playing field
January 26th, 2008 at 9:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 704442c4e98b2
What a stupid article
January 26th, 2008 at 9:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 55b15841bb40b
What a pointless remark.
February 28th, 2008 at 3:06 am - IP Man-Hash: b3faa0038cfd5
the only reason why girls do good in schools are because..
1. School is a repeative learning there are no need to get good grades as long as you have an A, 90 ~ 100 does not vary at the end . women usually do not understand this and study all their fucking time away to get a 99 while men aim for the 90 [ at least its what i do ] , + school is not as important as life. Besides schools do not reflect and is misleading , just because you have good grades does not mean by anyway you are smart.
2. Women are treated better in my school they have 3 times more bathrooms and less work to do, the teacher even allows them to turn in work late, i am mean if women want to strive for equallity stop abusing “Oh i am a women, ladys fucking first” fuck that, i am not gay, but i hate women, fuck hillary, fuck ophra, fuck emiliy dickenson.
February 28th, 2008 at 3:07 am - IP Man-Hash: b3faa0038cfd5
no it can not.
February 28th, 2008 at 3:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
Yeah, those bitches are male impersonators. You may want to look into voyeurism for your sex life - for example, a road trip to Mexico would run you extremely cheap both time wise (depending on where you live, of course) and monetarily. I know that Americans will head south to attend medical school there, where the profession is not artificially in short supply. What you’re paying for is the education, anyways.