How To Shut a Woman Up
Women don’t actually want equality. Women are like the five year old that wants a dog for Christmas and we men are like parents. You’re not getting a fucking dog. Five year olds don’t get dogs because they have no responsibility. They’re immature. They get goldfish or Nintendo’s or other things that don’t require moments from their precious days of doing nothing.
Equality for women is exactly the same. Let me give an example.
There’s six ways to make a woman shut her fucking mouth — and you can count five of them on your hand.
I’m kidding of course. I would never advocate violence against women. Women are like television sets. They’re fun to watch, and smacking them around rarely improves their malfunction. When they start acting up and getting old on you, it’s just time to get a new one.
The sixth way to get a woman to shut the fuck up is not a joke. Women bitch and moan about equality like a baby whinging for its bottle. What happens when a baby gets its bottle? It shuts the fuck up.
Does that sound radical? Giving a woman equality? Perhaps even a bit mad?
Your man-stincts are correct. Giving women equal of anything is a stupid idea: voting rights, custody, slices of delicious pie. No matter what, you end up with something that isn’t pretty and is about ten to twenty years away from biting you in your man ass.
Think about it for a minute. If women really wanted equality, why dress like whores? And why all the silliness with alimony? Alimony is more objectifying and exploitive than prostitution, porno, and the entire Blackula series combined. All it’s saying is that the only thing women can do in the world is fuck for money. It’s a severance package for retired whores. But I digress.
I said earlier that I would be dispensing the mystical secret that has haunted man since the beginning of time. Not where we’re from or where we’re going, but how to shut women the fuck up. It’s easy. All you have to do is speak to them like equals. For example, what would you say if your very good man friend was drunk or hypnotized into losing Man Points and came up with a comment like, “Kathy at work is such a bitch. I don’t know why she hates me.”
Something immediately springs to mind.
“Who the fuck cares.”
Give the baby her bottle. And silence, my man friends, is golden.
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2 words THANK YOU
Heh, for All you guys listening to this Dick character, you can all form a clan against women and go gay for all I care, your opinions are pointless and nothing but non sense,sure I agree SOME women are like this, but NOT ALL, and yeah I agree that men are greater than women at a certain standard, but that doesn’t make women any less important,so when u say all women, your saying the average bicth or slut is no different from your own mother, if it wasn’t for your own mother (who happens to be a woman) who gave birth to you, you wouldn’t even be here now typing up so much crap on this pointless sexist site. Well all I’m gonna say is you guys probably don’t get out much, and see that most women,aren’t alike,and you guys obviously have had many bad encounters and or experiences with woman and just want to take it all out on all females, I’ve dated many females and some are pretty smart and are nothing like what you guys are talking about and it shocks me to see that some of you here have girlfriends or wives???? If your talking like this then you don’t have no respect for them at all, and its sad, you call youself man, if all men were to behave in such manner, boy oh boy would this world be insanely corrupted! Wow you guys are like little whining babies, you all sound so alike, your just as bad as the women your talking about. Well, now I leave you guys, to freely express your anger at me and say how more of a man you are, and how I’m so this and that, but your sarcasm and immature replies aren’t going to make me any weaker or you any smarter. So reply if you want to and maybe when I have some free time to spend I’ll check back later I can’t waste my time arguing with the likes of you so called “Men”.
Holy jesus this is great. I so appreciate this. Mucho respecto.
“How To Shut a Woman Up”
Stuff your penis in her mouth. There’s nothing else that an open female mouth could be useful for.
All you men out there need to find your fathers. We rarely have real especially American men because we have all been raised by our single mothers, who teach us to “respect women”. See your father observe what he does, he is the jerk you want to be. You need to treat women like crap, you bang and you dump them. It is simple. There is no such thing as inequality for men and women. I am not going to declare myself equal to something like a “woman” which is very well defined by Mr. Masterson. My father puts my mom in this place, and this is what we need to pass on to our future generations, if this male race is going to live. This is our biology and inherent purpose as being men.
Dick is perceptive and speaks the truth. As a woman I know my place although I concede that you can never stop learning.
As cunning, walking cunts, they are generally gold diggers with no ambition other than to live as an epiphyte on an unsuspecting male driven by testosterone taking advantage and the right mickey out of him.
I’m Glad I’m A Man
I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe… I don’t live off yogurt, coke, or cottage cheese.
I don’t gripe to my manholes about the size of my breasts… I can get where I want - north, south, east or west.
I don’t get wasted after only 2 beers and when I do drink I don’t end up in tears.
I won’t spend hours deciding what to wear… I spend 5 minutes [and gallons] max cleaning my hair.
I don’t go around checking my reflection in everything shiny from every direction.
I’m glad I’m a man, I’m so glad I can sting… I don’t have to lie in wait for some ring.
I don’t gossip about friends or stab them in the back… I don’t carry our differences into the sack.
I’ll never go psycho and threaten to kill you or care past your tits to know the real you.
I’m rational, reasonable, and logical too, I know what the time is and I know what to do.
I honestly think its a privilege for me…to have this great bod…and stand when I pee.
Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure… I won’t assume it’s permanent by any measure.
I’m a man by chance and I’m grateful it’s true… I’m glad I’m a man and not a manhole like you.
i can not believe what i am reading, i find it hard to comprehend that any person would even write “how to shut a women up” us women risk our lives to give birth (so you shut the fuck up man voice) to the piece of rubish that wrote this page- for this we deserve respect. men gennerally risk their lives at war and should also be respected for this. im sure men with any brains would agree. who ever wrote this poece does not have any at all. i have a son and i nearly died giving birth to him i would do it all again the same way and yes he respects me and i respect my son. i know he will never turn out like you thank god.
by the way my husband is 5ft6in and that was one womens opinion not all concerning complaining about your selection or preference to women.
an overweight women will complain if you select of weight- as she is fat and not likely to win the heart of the man she wants. ect ect
for some men being short is a problem because as a general rule a women wants a strong protective man. so guys if your short stand up to the 6 ft guys - easy. oh and when i dont respond to this rubbish it wont be because you have shut me up it will be your a waiste of time and space
On a dating website I saw a woman who listed her height as 4′ 11″ as wanting a man with a height with 5′ 8″ or higher. Crazy shit.
I once told a woman I was looking for a girl with good diet and exercise habits, and she got mad at me and called me shallow. But it was clear she had a predilection for tall men, and when I challenged her about this, she said she dated men say 5′8- 5′10″. Then I asked her how tall her boyfriends were. She said: “Oh, 6′ 4″, 6′ 6″, 6′ 6 2″….”
Your right I totally agree with you about equality. What also irritates me to death is how so damn many women put height as such a HUGE requirement when they are looking to date. But yet if a man has a requirement such as wanting a lady with big boobs, tan and a nice butt oh we won’t hear the end of that because women will take that as men being pigs or not looking at women from the inside. Well what comes around goes around LADIES!!! Women tend to think that it’s all ok for them to have these HUGE requirements such as height, need to be muscular, FUN and oh can’t forget DARK. First of all explain FUN fun is such a broad term women use and fun is different for everyone!!! Now height is just a PLAIN STUPID requirement not to mention SO extremely SHALLOW!!! It’s also funny when you see this really short lady like she’s 5′1″ and she’s dating this 6′7″ guy! It looks so absolutely stupid!! Women just simply get over the height requirement!!! Women these days are like BROKEN RECORD PLAYERS they say the same requirements over and over and over!!! Women don’t get it that men that are 6′ + are not necessarily better as women so want to believe in fact they are more the assholes!!! Our height is our HIGHT we have no control over our height we can’t grow anymore than what we are!!!
So, I just got left because I’m in a rut in my life. Why would a woman leave a guy for being in a rut? OH, YEAH, no mother fucking money to support their fucking jewelry fetish. I fucken forgot that shit.
Dude you totally just shut that bitch THE FUCK UP! Major man props.
Diet and timing. Salty foods, red meats, pickles, olives, fish, eggs, sweet corn, figs, apricots, raisins, dried prunes, beans, avocado, zucchini and mushrooms. Try to keep her diet anti-acidic and have her drink 2-3 cups of green tea starting the day her period is over. Most importantly, have sex about 4 days before her ovulation.
Three females?.. phew you are in for it.
I do believe yet another woman has earned my respect. I’ll be damned but there ARE surprises in this world after all..
Womyn? What in the land of misspelling-words-to-make-me-seem-more-hip-and-educated is that?
Excuse me, I’m a woman. Not a womyn.
Feminism is more than “equality of the sexes”. If you researched it at all, you would know that. You would also know that feminism is ripe with failings and that you’d best not associate with it if you wanted any change. If you want equal pay and all the trimmings, earn it. Don’t graduate with Women’s studies. Go become a CPA or a teacher and ask for a pay raise once you’ve earned it. At the very least, find a cause that will do the world good like tutoring poor children at the library.
I can’t wait until the economy goes in the shitter. Soccer moms will be giving blowjobs to fill up their suvs.
request you to give me a suggestion on how to fuck a women to get a male baby because now I am having 3 female babies.
Give that Steeltrap 5 Dick-Cookies, and a sixer of M.A.S.H. beer from the ’80’s.
What we got here kids is a Man-Velution of nasty ass Manly proportions.
It is like going to your favorite restaraunt and buying that kick-ass manly Chicken-Man-Fried steak as big as your head. No, put ALL that gravy on their goddamnit! I ain’t here to half-ass the bullshit you know. Does it look like I ordered a fucking salad? No, I did fucking NOT.
So, watch out ladies, right after a BM that rocks my house and world, I am coming for YOU. Or, at least a case and a half of Pepto……….
Anyway, I’m on a roll so i just tell all you stupes, WAKE UP! Ya all dumbass peeps ya don’t start thinkin’ smart. Stand up for ya rights don’t let someone take ya house to give it to somune else?
Wow, this Dick is incredible, I just recently read some of his relevant contributions and any Man would know that it was a link I followed it and after a few secs is here and honestly:Dick on Dr. Phil
November 8, 2007 – 8:50 am
When I was first asked to appear on the Dr. Phil show, I had one major concern. I had recently shaved my mustache and the short notice of the show gave me only a few days to grow another one.
Mission Accomplished.
For the record, I’m at least six feet tall; 6′2″ in man-inches. Dr. Phil just happens to be a giant in size — most likely due to the unceasing growth of his corporate empire. A word to the wise: if you’re going on the Dr. Phil program, wear platforms or stilts. The studio audience loves a good “short joke”.
Shortness is the only prejudice they are allowed.
While you, the viewing audience, did see me bring one bowling-pin-shaped, over-educated shrew to the brink of tears, the show cut one unfortunate, elderly woman who was already weeping before she began speaking. I made her “sad”. To that end, I must reiterate the following:
There are no women allowed on my website, and no women are allowed to buy my book. Condensed manliness is overwhelming to the female emotional palette. And I don’t like making old ladies cry.
What the show also cut was a brilliant narrative/documentary that was filmed a week prior. Myself and a camera crew caught a young woman flirting her way out of a speeding ticket. It’s a practice that we are all familiar with. It’s a practice that will continue forever because women are prostitutes — whether they put out or not.
Another elderly lady also told the six of us that we were the reason there’s a war going on in Iraq. Thankfully, that was cut. I think women looked bad enough as it was.
HST followed naturally out of his phrases, speech, friggin a , it matches 100%. Sheizer! Try it yourself, read all of Dick’s masterpieces while incurring the funtanstic and original manly voice of my best buddy HST or if ya don’t know how. well just follow Johnny Depps excellent reproduction of said Manquire Extrodinaire!!
Hey Dude what’s up with the lame excuse about shaving a moustache… you either have one or just can’t and then pretend your Women’s isn’t there. LOL