Women Drink Wine Stupidly
The number of myths I’m about to bust is so great I don’t even know how to classify this article.
Except I do know how to classify this article. Men are better than women.
You know all the pretentious shit women pretend to pull off in their twenties and then continue to cling to like a fucking life preserver when they hit their thirties and no man will knock them up because they’re so fucking lame and also won’t ever shut their mouth? Men are better than women at that shit.
A recent piece of CBS investigative journalism discovered some shocking news: the decision making processes of women are like three legged dogs. No matter what kind of handicap you give them, no matter how sorry everyone feels for them, they’re still fucked. It’s in our man empathy to pity the handicapped — even the mentally handicapped. Women.
Men are better than women at picking out wine.
I wouldn’t know exactly how bad women are at selecting wine because I’ve never ever let a woman do it. And I have certainly never drunk said wine if a woman decision somehow eluded my mighty man providence. I’m not a time traveler. I can’t be in two hours ago preventing a woman from fucking up my delicious steak dinner with some goddamn Riesling. What is so fucking fantastic about Riesling to women? Is it because it tastes like you’re getting punched by a sugar goblin? Was there some teenage heartthrob by the name of Riesling when women were women-agers? I suppose neither would explain anything anyway because there’s never a reason for why women do anything. They just always do it wrong.
Woman drink shitty wine. I personally took a survey of all the women I could find before writing this article and I found that 100% of them could not name a delicious wine within an ample time period of ten seconds. According to their failures, picking things is man business. If women have to pick anything they fuck it up; wine included. We men have so much class coming out of our ass that it’s physically impossible for us to pick out a foul or mismatched wine.
But that’s not all.
According to the investigative journalism of CBS, men have more than class. We also have the sense to ask for help. Directions, sexual inefficiencies, wine; they’re all the same to men and women can shut the fuck up about it. That’s why men are so smart. We’re always asking for help on things and then we’re always memorizing the help so we don’t have to sound like repeating jackasses and ask the same question twice.
How do women select wine? For once the answer isn’t ‘ask their no-nothing mother what she would do’. It’s even worse.
Women look for cute labels like Yellow Tail’s stupid Kangaroo and kitschy, cutsey, make me vomitey names like Little White Lie or Bitch On The Rag, each with a shittier body and less appetizing flavour.
This whole clusterfuck reminds me of a story. A friend of mine used to tell women he had a tattoo on an inappropriate place. Women are simple minded so this is a perfect pick up line. They can remember all the players. You, her, penis. Also, they get to experience the anticipation of solving the riddle of what this tattoo is and where exactly it is!
My friend does not have a frog tattooed on his cock, but in the end, does it really matter? It just proves my point.
Edit by Dick:
Thanks to Jorge for the following CBS video presentation.
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December 13th, 2006 at 12:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 16a7f8be15ae1
“Was there some teenage heartthrob by the name of Riesling when women were women-agers?”
Hahaha.. indeed women never surpass teenagedom and men are at their most moody and feminine only in teenagedom.
December 13th, 2006 at 12:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: 09f049bfccbdf
lol
nice video.
December 13th, 2006 at 1:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: eb931023b77c5
Well. Here’s how I choose wine. If it has a gold medallion sticker on it, indicating it has one a first prize in a wine contest, then YES. I BUY THAT ONE.
or if I have a lot of bills that week, I’ll just get a clearskin.
December 13th, 2006 at 2:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I’d some 20+12 old Chivas Regal and James Buchanan Black and White Premium. My father brought them from England in the old days. Many a times both he and I were on the verge of spending them. But there was always that feeling that something will come along and up the ante, either in joy or sorrow. Better to save we always thought. Then he gone.
My mother was going to give them away this month, as tokens, to her shrink and a neighbour of hers. My mother usually speaks elogiously of him and respects his memory. I usually get along with her. Except, that is, until every so often the slightest trial or tribulation presents itself.
Such as when I hid the Chivas with a trusted friend and drunk the Premium 12 with my mates. I reason they’ll best be spent on me and whom I choose to share them with. Rather than some stranger or who would give these away to strangers. I had already come close to opening the Premium 12 back in the time of the Iran nuke strike scare. My mom reasoned I’m an odious queer, just like my dad. I had made clear my dissent and assured her that, whatever she might be under the erroneous impression she’s going to do with them, she will not give them away sound so she might as well either leave them where they are or shatter the bottles herself.
A few days later she tells me to respect and honour his memory because he was a good husband and a wonderful dad. Like she had said nothing to tarnish his memory, but rather I had.
I plan on drinking the Chivas as well by myself or with close friends, at most.
December 13th, 2006 at 3:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5fdb78f644952
“I look for nice labels.”
Indeed.
@Female well, not all contests are equal.
@Sony sounds like a plan.
-wolfe
December 13th, 2006 at 6:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
True wolfe. And most of those labels are prolly just made up by marketing depts in most cases. Generally I believe any wine in the $18 - $22 range is alright. Anything $25 and up is great.
December 14th, 2006 at 2:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 09f049bfccbdf
Well that’s good for any wine maker. Put a nice label with monkeys or kangaroos for you and price it around $25. Women make businessmen very nice living.
December 14th, 2006 at 3:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
What I meant Billy is that most of the contests are manufactured, so the medallion stickers are probably not the best ways to judge a good wine. And my rule is, is that if a label looks childish or is overly colourful (that means more than three colours on it), then I do not touch that one.
Price is the best indicator because it reflects the market’s palate. No one is going to buy a bottle of $25 wine more than once if it takes like crap.
December 14th, 2006 at 8:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
lucky me. I’ve just had some wine sent to me from a supplier to wish me a merry xmas and of course to bribe me for continued business. It’s a 2004 Shiraz Cabernet from Langhorne Creek, South Australia.
Stay tuned for the results of sampling.
December 14th, 2006 at 8:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
PS they’ve designed the label to show their corporate colours and business name, so sorry, unfortunately the label doesn’t give away anything about the wine itself.
December 15th, 2006 at 7:59 am - IP Man-Hash: 5fdb78f644952
Ugh. I kept silent on this because I don’t want to be mean to Female. But really, this is yet another silly misconception women have.
Price is only loosely correlated with quality in wine. I admit; when I’m with a woman, I will buy a good slightly more expensive wine rather than an equally good cheaper wine. If she sees the price. If she doesn’t then, I’ll just buy what I think will go well with the food she and I have ordered. (I did once date a female sommelier; she was very good, I let her order. Her wine choices were excellent; the rest of her, not so much.)
While she’s right that people generally won’t repeatedly buy a $25 bottle if it takes like crap, she’s wrong to assume that that means a $25 bottle is better than, say, a $15 bottle. or a $11 bottle.
For a while, my house white was $3.65. Quite decent. My house red was $13. Also quite decent, but I had a 95% as good red that was a mere $9. And a ’special treat’ red that was $25.
In the universe of wines, there existed plenty of $25 bottles that were inferior to all — the $3.65, the $11, the $15, etc.
Learn to taste. Learn to follow your tastebuds. I’d rather have a connoisseur’s $10 wine than a random woman’s $25 wine.
A wine is successful (as the oenophile in the video said) if it tastes good and brings you pleasure.
-wolfe
December 15th, 2006 at 12:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 09f049bfccbdf
We already know women think of something more costly as being better. To a woman the ‘Sale tag’ on items means it was reduced in price by a large margin.
Wrong, wrong, always wrong..
December 15th, 2006 at 2:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: 12ba2642e47bb
Yes wolfe, that’s why I buy clearskins, because usually they are as good, if not better than labelled ‘quality’ wines. As I also mentioned $25 wines can taste like crap, if is your misassumption that I assume all $25 wines are great. Note, I said generally they are great, not always.
btw, the wine from SA wasn’t the greatest.
December 18th, 2006 at 7:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
SKÃ…L!
December 20th, 2006 at 4:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9438f68e1c745
Price is really not related to wine quality (except on a macroscopic scale - of course a £5000 Petrus or Romanee Conti - La Tache will be better than an Oregon Pinot Noir priced at $25 or £15 although it’s argued some of the $700+ Pinot Noirs from Oregon were in the same league as the best Bourgognes for a while).
As an example, I went recently to Germany with my German neighbour. He went into a supermarket, and got a 3 euros bottle of a red wine from his original state. He said it was really good, and indeed it was - much better than many £15+ wines I had tasted back in the UK.
I buy wine that I think will go well with the food I’ll have. As I’m a student, I realize that my experience in wines is, to be fair, rather limited, so I ask the guys at the shop for help or go for something friends back in France have recommended - for cheap but good stuff Beaujolais Vielles Vignes is usually my choice nowadays (although not Nouveau which is again, a marketing gimmick).
Ironically most of the better, but more expensive wines (e.g. Pommard in Bourgogne) have simple, unattractive labels, as (I think) they rely on their names to catch your attention.
December 21st, 2006 at 6:08 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
To those whose arms sometimes bend backwards.
Cheers!
- Flying Steps - King Of Rock
February 16th, 2007 at 9:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 82ef1f6f2aafa
Liar i love wine , Chianti, Merlot, White Zinf..etc
February 16th, 2007 at 9:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 001a1de92075b
OMG. This kl woman has posted 63 posts in just a few hours in a single day on this site. Good grief, talk about problems.
February 16th, 2007 at 9:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
What is it you do for a living, kl? Or is that you don’t have to do a thing, cause of daddy and all?
It certainly doesn’t strike me, at least, as though you’re yourself doing very much at all in the way of earning the kind of living you incessently bark you bask in.
Sincere apologies if I’m mistaken.
February 19th, 2007 at 9:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Shouldn’t the question be “Who is it that you do for a living, kl?”
February 19th, 2007 at 3:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 703927440ceb9
Wolfe gets along well with pussy, probably because he’s one. Look at this faggot getting along so well with “Female”: the turd practically agrees with that bitch in every post. Wtf?! What is he even doing here? But then, since he’s a dateless engineer nerd with a butt-ugly face, he catters to “women” like female because ugly lesbos are his last hope of getting laid. Pretty pathetic that this faggot comes here to spill his data-nerdism and make moves on a dyke with a clit the size of a pencil. It goes to show that he probably wants to be ass-raped by “Female”, and considering how big the dyke’s clit is, he might as well get his wish.
P CODERCH
P.S: How’s that ugly cunt of a daughter of yours, Wolfy boy? Tell her I want to give her a meal of nuts&milk.
February 19th, 2007 at 8:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: d2bf73bae8061
P Coderch, you’ve been corrected about this before: Wolfe does not have a daughter. When he mentioned that having a daughter would make some of these men less hostile towards women, he was speaking hypothetically. He does not know this from personal experience, he does not have a daughter. Why do you come on this site to attack the men? Most of them share your viewpoints (most are hardly chivalrous or mild-mannered as you claim), and even the “chivalrous” ones probably agree with you on many points.
February 19th, 2007 at 8:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0ae340244e5a6
Coderch register a name on the forums and private message me.
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:43 am - IP Man-Hash: cc1d350da2aab
Dick’s daddy sucked off Dick’s cockcheese the wrong way. Dick’s daddy didn’t always have time for little Dicky, as he was always in the clink doing time for doing weird and sick things in the Perverted Old Loser/Young Boy Oral and Anal Love Society.
Sick, what a sick bunch of zeroes. No wonder why Dicky is sub-human.
November 7th, 2007 at 1:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 904f55006453f
Fuck off P! Don’t be a dick to another man. That’s what women do. Take your own fucking advice and don’t be a pussy. Women hate other women. Men DON’T hate other men.
Besides, they’re having a perfectly civil conversation about wine for fuck sakes. What’s wrong with that? I bitch about a lot of her posts in other threads, but come on man, she’s talking about ALCOHOL, man’s best fucking friend!
If wolfe wants to try to educate her a little about the matter, let him. How can a woman learn something if we don’t try to teach them?
P, you’re bringing us down. And trying to insult a man’s daughter? That’s fucking sick man.
Don’t get me wrong guys, I think Dick is a fucking Hero. But this guy is just a worthless ass.
November 7th, 2007 at 1:56 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Wolfe. He certainly rights with more grace then you do.
November 7th, 2007 at 2:02 am - IP Man-Hash: b24fa70c8e643
Rights?!**####??
November 7th, 2007 at 2:07 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Oh dear Mansman, I’m ever so sorry. Here does this make it better…
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Wolfe. He certainly writes with more grace then you do.
Will you be able to sleep better now? Golly Gee, I didn’t mean to be such a disturbance…think you can forgive me?
lol
November 7th, 2007 at 2:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 386f59a6f551f
November 7th, 2007 at 2:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 386f59a6f551f
I find it amusing that you sublty discredit Mansman’s spelling, and then downplay it when you make mistakes. How is that for hypocrisy?
November 7th, 2007 at 2:25 am - IP Man-Hash: b24fa70c8e643
It was such a basic fundamental fuckup, you should have been immediately aware of it without having to have it pointed out.
If you were a Doctor or performing some other crucial task, that sort of lazy ass fucked up carelessness is what gets people hurt or killed.
You’re in an intellectual forum. Stupidity begets no respect. Patronisation in an attempt to shroud it…begets disrespect.
November 7th, 2007 at 2:27 am - IP Man-Hash: b24fa70c8e643
That was to Clair. Thanks Talon for the backup.
November 7th, 2007 at 2:32 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
What? I never made fun of his spelling, I just said Wolfe writes with more grace than him. And it’s no accomplishment to point out my spelling and grammatical errors, I’ll admit I suck at that stuff. Happy?
November 7th, 2007 at 2:33 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
LMFAO
November 7th, 2007 at 2:42 am - IP Man-Hash: b24fa70c8e643
Wolfe is a Professor. Last time I checked, that title was a recognised acknowledgement of superior intellectual capacity and/or capability in a specialised field.
Stating that “Wolfe writes with more grace” is like stating cheetahs run faster than you do…in other words, stating the obvious. What a revelation!
Clair really needs to get with the program on this one…if she has no point of value to make, she should remain silent (or better still, absent).
November 7th, 2007 at 2:47 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Did you even read what Anon wrote?
November 7th, 2007 at 4:03 am - IP Man-Hash: 6d589b37beaa5
Clair, a ton of men here are highly intelligent. Anon is a Mensa member, I am a valedictorian and am hoping to get into a decent american college. Either that or I will remain in my home country to practise law. The men that I know with degrees(I think): Wolfe, Talon, Dakota, Diamatik, Sonyad and if I am not wrong, Anon, Serph(old poster).
There are many others but I care not to give you a whole list.
November 7th, 2007 at 4:23 am - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
There may be intellectuals here, don’t mean it’s an intellectual forum though. Please for the love of God acknowledge that. You can’t deny it.
November 7th, 2007 at 4:28 am - IP Man-Hash: b24fa70c8e643
Her whining is how she compensates for lack of having a real point. Amazingly, she fails to realise what everyone else can see.
Notice also her propensity to Patronise those with whom she disagrees; it’s a classic logical fallacy attack of the person…rather than legitimate discussion of the topic in question.
Typical womanly ILL-ogic…and how many times have we seen it?
November 7th, 2007 at 4:32 am - IP Man-Hash: b24fa70c8e643
Which god??? There’s thousands. Ohhh, you mean Zeus…ok then.
November 7th, 2007 at 4:57 am - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
How can you have an intellectual discussion with a woman?
November 10th, 2007 at 1:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 74542b725756f
This can’t be serious ,can it?
You people are joking, right?
November 10th, 2007 at 1:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: ceeb4e25bbf8e
Add the small penis jokes and the thread is complete.
January 13th, 2008 at 9:05 am - IP Man-Hash: cde4d6da17a7a
Reisling is actually very nice with sushi- it’s the only time i drink it. i’m trying to develop an appreciation for saki, but it isn’t going very well…
i actually know quite a bit about wine, though, as i have an extensive background in fine dining- both dining and serving.
white wine with steak is just wrong. cabernet is nice, pinot noir is even better.
unless of course that steak is well done, in which case you may as well drink a glass of a-1.
(shudders)
January 22nd, 2008 at 11:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: be19ad85c6912
I’ve tried sake on quite a few different occasions… I enjoy its flavor, but it is so simple a drink I have a hard time noticing differences between different brands. I mean its there… but its kind of like the difference between Coke and Pepsi.
April 10th, 2008 at 12:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 437317e5db365
What a stupid cunt.
April 19th, 2008 at 9:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 90850f55d960b
Reisling and those other girly wines make me want to puke almost as much as pink champagne.!. Someone hand me a bucket
Signed
-man-space invader-
April 30th, 2008 at 3:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9623ac8098b53
This article and video are exactly why women should not be voting. They don’t do ANY research into the wine or candidate and purchase a fucking label.
Typical.
They do the same with men they fuck as well. My label is my suit and my BMW. And god damn am I appealing.