Women Feel Sorry For Lamps and Old Chairs and Shit

If you have an agenda that you know is fucking stupid, but want to make some quick loot out of it there’s only one place to go. That’s right it’s to your nearest woman.

Women are retarded when it comes to using their empathy. That’s because empathy is in your brain not your heart or your stomach as all women believe.

Look around your man-self right now. To you, you exist in a world of inanimate objects. Unless you’re on the tube or at the zoo or something, but since you’re a man, you wouldn’t bring up something so inane and counterproductive. That’s what being a man is about; not sounding like an obnoxious twat every chance you get.

There may be a few men around you at the moment, but otherwise there’s nothing but objects. What if someone came in and took one of those objects away — for repairs or something? As a man you would think this was jolly good. Most things need repairing after all. It’s good to know some man is doing it and not some woman. A woman, however, women would be heartbroken.

“The poor item!” she would say. “He’s being taken away from all his other item friends!”

I kid you not.

Now lets say you accidentally knocked one of those precious little bullshit items off your desk. You, as a man, would be disappointed that someone had to clean it up, but otherwise the item would be easily replaced. A woman would be heartbroken. Fucking heartbroken. She would probably start an hour long crying jag in the bathroom or take a sick day. I don’t know. I try not involve myself with what goes on in the ladies room. It’s disgusting.

Women feel sorry for anything and everything. They feel sorry for sofas left out in the rain; they feel sorry for chairs with broken arm rests that no one wants to sit in any more; they feel sorry for sacks of meat with fur wrapped around them; they feel fucking sorry for empty ice trays and men who kick the living shit out of them. None of it makes any sense and none of it is interesting at all.

That’s why women have ruined PETA and Green Peace — and marriage. It’s one thing to say, “You know what, I might not think it’s appropriate for a dog to get dragged down the highway for ten kilometers. Maybe I should get involved in that cause.” But for women, throwing a kitten off of a building is the same as doing it with a penny. They just can’t draw the fucking line and that’s why they’re like cows with cash for milk.

Women don’t know anything about lines. Lines are hard and straight and get the job done. All women know anything about is curves. Big fucking fat ones that need to stop eating and need to go to the gym.

Oh and for your manformation, a penny doesn’t go through anyone if you drop it off a building. That’s a myth. A kitten might though. I haven’t read anything to the contrary.

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99 Responses to “Women Feel Sorry For Lamps and Old Chairs and Shit”

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  1. diamatik Says:

    Sam Adams said:

    I just don’t see that kind emotional attachment to inanimate objects in men.

    You sir, are a not being 100% truthful! We all know men who treat their cars better than they treat their own pets (well, at least I know that I do).

  2. Sam Adams Says:

    diamatik said:

    Sam Adams said:

    I just don’t see that kind emotional attachment to inanimate objects in men.

    You sir, are a not being 100% truthful! We all know men who treat their cars better than they treat their own pets (well, at least I know that I do).
    Aha. I stand corrected. Upon further consideration, I realize there are some men with unusually high regard for their stuff, whether it’s cars, or collectible action figures, or home entertainment systems. I guess I’m just projecting my own values because I’m not into collecting and maintaining stuff. I maintain my car because the alternative is it breaks down and I’m standing by the side of the road, pissed off and wishing I’d done what I should have done, but it’s not the worshipful ritual I’ve seen in some guys. Good point.

  3. diamatik Says:

    Shame on me then. On the few occasions that I hit a bump in the road or I fall into a pothole, I curse and agonise as if it hurt me personally.

  4. Sam Adams Says:

    diamatik said:

    Shame on me then. On the few occasions that I hit a bump in the road or I fall into a pothole, I curse and agonise as if it hurt me personally.

    Well, in a sense it does. Your investment in your car represents your time and labor, and whatever damages your car costs you in time, labor and money. (Money, of course, is a product of your time and labor.) If you have a really sweet ride, it’s even more painful.

    I only wanted to make a distinction between the way men value their possessions and women fetish their stuff. With men it’s right and proper (because we’re men); with women it’s weird and chicky. No offense meant to any men here, or to their stuff.

  5. Alex Says:

    Trying on outfits and expressing an opinion on them just indicates a preoccupation with trying to look attractive (and picking out clothes that will help that), not an emotional attatchment to them.

  6. sonyad Says:

    diamatik said:

    Shame on me then. On the few occasions that I hit a bump in the road or I fall into a pothole, I curse and agonise as if it hurt me personally.

    My dad did that too. And so do I. It’s like you feel the bumps with your kidneys, stones rattling or the like.

    Naturally, you tend to avoid the experience altogether. Slowing down up until tram tracks, giving pot holes a berth, etc.

    Women, obviously, have no such qualms.

    The Last Of The Mohicans 12

  7. sonyad Says:

    That’s nice, Alex.

  8. diamatik Says:

    sonyad said:

    Naturally, you tend to avoid the experience altogether. Slowing down up until tram tracks, giving pot holes a berth, etc.

    Women, obviously, have no such qualms.

    So true! Instead of having it for cars, they have it for lamps and chairs and shit.

  9. sonyad Says:

    Watching them shift gears is saddest. I feel for the hapless iron.

    They clasp the stick like the baking roller they can’t use and never touch and yank it like a slot machine then jerk the clutch for style marks.

    - Lil’ Flip-Rollin on 20’s

  10. Sam Adams Says:

    Alex said:

    Trying on outfits and expressing an opinion on them just indicates a preoccupation with trying to look attractive (and picking out clothes that will help that), not an emotional attatchment to them.

    Sorry, you’re wrong. I’ve seen chicks shop, and it’s WAY more than just trying to look attractive. Women seem to form an emotional bond, sometimes even a commitment, to the inanimate objects they survey for purchase. It’s a phenomenon I see *only* with women, gay men, and a few men I know who were raised by single mothers.

    (Sotto voce: That’s why young boys need a strong father in their lives, to keep them from acquiring chick habits and values.)

  11. son of the suns Says:

    Who the fuck is sotto?

  12. Sam Adams Says:

    son of the suns said:

    Who the fuck is sotto?

    Sorry, man, just being too clever for myself. It’s an Italian phrase that means like a backhanded whisper meant for everyone to hear. Something said under your voice but still audible. Read it like “incidentally”.

    Sorry to be a douche.

  13. Samantha Says:

    Its a free country, dipshit

    Necroswordsman said:

    diamatik said:

    the fact that women cannot follow instructions, no matter how simple. NO WOMEN ALLOWED, missy. No go put on some make-up or something and keep out of this manly discussion.

    Well said Diamatik.

  14. Dick Masterson Says:

    Samantha said:

    Its a free country, dipshit

    Spoken like someone who has never had to pay taxes: a woman.

    -Dick

  15. Samantha Says:

    I have never had to pay taxes because I’m only 15 years old.

  16. e v i l e d d y Says:

    I’m only 10 and I pay taxes.

  17. Dick Masterson Says:

    Samantha said:

    I have never had to pay taxes because I’m only 15 years old.

    So I was right.

    -Dick

  18. e v i l e d d y Says:

    That you are!

  19. wolfe Says:

    Dick Masterson said:
    I have never had to pay taxes because I’m only 15 years old.

    I filed my first tax return at about 13.

    But then I’m a man.

    -wolfe

  20. Necroswordsman Says:

    When I begin working (I’m a bit young) I’ll give money to my family, and the ones who pays taxes will be able to use it for that.

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