Women Feel Sorry For Lamps and Old Chairs and Shit
If you have an agenda that you know is fucking stupid, but want to make some quick loot out of it there’s only one place to go. That’s right it’s to your nearest woman.
Women are retarded when it comes to using their empathy. That’s because empathy is in your brain not your heart or your stomach as all women believe.
Look around your man-self right now. To you, you exist in a world of inanimate objects. Unless you’re on the tube or at the zoo or something, but since you’re a man, you wouldn’t bring up something so inane and counterproductive. That’s what being a man is about; not sounding like an obnoxious twat every chance you get.
There may be a few men around you at the moment, but otherwise there’s nothing but objects. What if someone came in and took one of those objects away — for repairs or something? As a man you would think this was jolly good. Most things need repairing after all. It’s good to know some man is doing it and not some woman. A woman, however, women would be heartbroken.
“The poor item!” she would say. “He’s being taken away from all his other item friends!”
I kid you not.
Now lets say you accidentally knocked one of those precious little bullshit items off your desk. You, as a man, would be disappointed that someone had to clean it up, but otherwise the item would be easily replaced. A woman would be heartbroken. Fucking heartbroken. She would probably start an hour long crying jag in the bathroom or take a sick day. I don’t know. I try not involve myself with what goes on in the ladies room. It’s disgusting.
Women feel sorry for anything and everything. They feel sorry for sofas left out in the rain; they feel sorry for chairs with broken arm rests that no one wants to sit in any more; they feel sorry for sacks of meat with fur wrapped around them; they feel fucking sorry for empty ice trays and men who kick the living shit out of them. None of it makes any sense and none of it is interesting at all.
That’s why women have ruined PETA and Green Peace — and marriage. It’s one thing to say, “You know what, I might not think it’s appropriate for a dog to get dragged down the highway for ten kilometers. Maybe I should get involved in that cause.” But for women, throwing a kitten off of a building is the same as doing it with a penny. They just can’t draw the fucking line and that’s why they’re like cows with cash for milk.
Women don’t know anything about lines. Lines are hard and straight and get the job done. All women know anything about is curves. Big fucking fat ones that need to stop eating and need to go to the gym.
Oh and for your manformation, a penny doesn’t go through anyone if you drop it off a building. That’s a myth. A kitten might though. I haven’t read anything to the contrary.
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September 15th, 2006 at 7:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Perhaps that is why many women can claim like ‘art’ but yet there are very few female architects. Architecture involves lot of lines. Lines and logic go hand-in-hand, and I think we all know the relationship between women and logic; they’re mutually exclusive.
September 15th, 2006 at 7:19 am - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
For a moment there, I thought this was going to be another post on Germaine Greer.
-Big Al
September 15th, 2006 at 7:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 5950bb08d3016
That is rather funny diamatik. Women always do claim to have more artistic talent than men, yet honestly all the great artists, painters sculpters that come to mind are all male.
I hear you Dick on the feeling sorry for things, happens all the time in my life, although in a rather amusing way last time, “that poor steak is alone, you should eat it.” I did, I also drank the last beer too, only because I couldn’t stand to hear bitching about how the beer was lonely
September 15th, 2006 at 8:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
I quite agree, diamatik. And good one on the ‘lonely beer’, Lukasz. Dick commenting on the penny urban myth made me remember this.
When I read it, for old time’s sake, I was struck by how much the writing reminded me of someone:
-wolfe
September 15th, 2006 at 11:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5f33f376a1ca5
Women always think they are more creative than men because they can have babies. They think of it as “creating a life”. If birth was an act of creation, then why many babies born ugly or deformed or sick?(Much less so these days because of medical advances made mostly by men.) Do they do this on purpose? Of course not! Having a baby is an act of REPRODUCTION! It is a biological function! They have no more control over the process than men do. If they could control it, there would most likely be ALOT more women out there, and they would all be good looking!
Men rule!
And with good reason.
September 16th, 2006 at 5:11 am - IP Man-Hash: 6966fa7dd6f08
Honestly I think its more of a philosophical question to ponder. Dick nails it on the head when he talks of “lines”. I take his statement on that subject as how Men and women view reality.
-Strength and Honor-
September 16th, 2006 at 8:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 49c9ff889fded
Poor pitiful little lamp . Nothing like a German to put everything back in perspective.
September 16th, 2006 at 9:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Swede, I think. But quite right, biff.
-wolfe
September 16th, 2006 at 8:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 49c9ff889fded
German, Swede, whatever.
September 18th, 2006 at 2:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
American, Mexican, whatever.
September 18th, 2006 at 2:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
@Sony heh, I was almost tempted to write that. Quite true.
-wolfe
September 19th, 2006 at 10:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 191b16517ae3b
I thought that this would be totally appropriate for this post. Notice how it is a woman that is the subject: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeyEXt7-0jU
September 19th, 2006 at 10:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 191b16517ae3b
And I apologize for not reading the previous comments, seeing as someone else brought this to attention already. However it just reinforces the fact that men are better than women becuase we are always on the same page.
September 20th, 2006 at 7:31 am - IP Man-Hash: a6d7c26eb9d5f
Re ‘Oprah don’t know shit about shit’ forum
She had one of the best “acts” down and women (roiling in their dysfunctions) embrace her as the Queen!
Surprise….Surprise….Surprise! Not really:Just another reflection of American Women (take a guess how well O’s mag sells outside the US? What was the question again….?) and their fantasy and (de)illusional beliefs and behaviours.
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/14907379/?GT1=8506
It’s Oprah’s America
We just live in it, and know how to get to the supermarket
COMMENTARY
By Dave White
MSNBC contributor
Updated: 1 hour, 22 minutes ago
Oprah has finally come out of the real closet. She is, at long last, ready to speak the truth about her private life. And that truth is one that America might not be ready for. Here it is: Oprah Winfrey, once and for all and make no mistake about it, can be kind of a grump. And not one single bit like you. Or me. Or anyone else you know. Unless you’re John Travolta or Julia Roberts. And then you know Oprah.
Anyway, this announcement was made on Monday, during the 21st season’s first episode, the one called “Oprah & Gayle’s Big Adventure,� in which our heroines decide to see the U.S.A. in a Chevrolet. So they begin driving cross-country.
And that is when we learn, in word and in deed, that Oprah prefers not to be near us — her fans and our lesser diners and our gas stations and cheap motels and noisy hysteria when we glimpse her in the rare moments she’s out amongst us — much at all………………
September 20th, 2006 at 9:55 am - IP Man-Hash: 1ed73c0d640fc
I hate Oprah.
September 20th, 2006 at 11:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
Ja, det tror jag också - IKEA, den där Ingvar Kamprad var så briljant.
September 20th, 2006 at 12:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: ecf72d58bf105
Er yea, wasn’t that like, completely obvious, girlfriend?! I mean, c’mon! who the hell in the big end of town really speaks like that, really? She is so obviously insincere..if American women actually fell for that….omg.
I always thought people in the Oprah show audience were simply faking their interest/adoration and were only there on the off chance that Oprah would be giving a car away to each audience member at some point during the show.
September 20th, 2006 at 1:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Interesting thoughts female/SockpuppetsRUs. If I read you correctly, then Oprah is like Sauron … only that instead of being the Lord of the Rings she is like the Lord of the Whores, and her audience are as mindless as orcs.
September 21st, 2006 at 6:03 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Nuclear launch detected.