That’ll Still Look Hot When You’re 80.
When men get tattoos they are unique and meaningful. Men get tattoos like Waldo riding a comet across their backs, or two girls in bikinis lifting an anchor. That’s awesome. How about a Chinese character that means “bad ass”? Oh yea. Very manly. When women get tattoos it’s always the same shit: a rose on the boob that you’re not supposed to look at, or a target on the ass.
If men were as predictable and promiscuous as women when they got tattoos, every man would have a giant money sign tattooed on his bicep.
“Where’s my tattoo you ask? Let me show you. Hrrk.”
Fortunately for everyone men have a little thing called class.
Tattoos have always been a man thing. All the way back to a time when men were out hunting and gathering and women hadn’t yet learned to speak. What a paradise — the quiet, nag-less utopia of the prehistoric man. That’s when tattoos started. I imagine men invented them in order to proudly display how many wooly mammoths they’d slain in battle. That might not be true, but it’s enough to demonstrate why women have no place in the realm of the painted flesh.
Just like in finance and science, when women get involved in a man thing it’s painfully obvious that they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. Here’s an example: Tinkerbelle on the hip. Now this is a real tattoo that I have seen on a real woman — and not a stripper mind you, an actual woman walking down the street. Trust me, it wasn’t a stripper walking down the street. Here’s my question: what in the fuck does Tinkerbelle have to do with anything? What is the statement here?
When a man gets a tattoo, he’s making a statement. In the case of Waldo, a man is saying, “Where’s Waldo? I’ll tell you where Waldo is. He’s right the fuck here riding a giant comet in your face.” And that is a perfectly fine thing to say. It’s lets the world know what the score is first step onto the pitch. Man: 1, World: 0.
Now what does some goofy pseudo-Indian design on a woman’s lower back say? I’m in touch with the spirit of nature? Maybe, but probably no. How about, look at my lower back please; I need tons of attention. Getting warmer, but still no. Give up? Here’s what it says:
I’m decoration.
Women have don’t have enough philosophy or personality on which to base a tattoo. That’s why they suck at getting them. That’s also why women love Hallmark so fucking much. Because it’s a bunch of prepackaged kitsch shit that defines every essence of their being in a two sentence limerick, a hunk of porcelain with oversized eyes, or a 2×4 reprint of Monet. Women are Hallmark. They’re way overpriced and none of them do a goddamn thing.
Related Articles:
Pages: « 6 5 4 3 [2] 1 » Show All
You can talk. If you designed the function correctly in the first place I wouldn’t have been able to to do it. No matter, it will allow much mischeviousness to occur.
Nice formatting.
-Dick
LOL How very interesting of you to admit males need a woman around Dick. hee hee
I love how when you get a logical response that you find difficult or impossible to argue against, you change the topic and/or attempt to belittle or embarrass the person you are debating with.
Anyhow, I won’t get emotional and will stay on track, in response to this post;
Female, the title of this site is MenAreBetterThanWomen.com not Read10PagesOfYourFavouriteChildhoodStory.com.
-Dick
I don’t think flying is actually a metaphor for sex, but of course, your male and I understand you do interpet most things in that way, so an easy mistake for you to make.
Why can’t you fly now, mother?”
“Because I am grown up, dearest. When people grow up they forget the way.”
“Why do they forget the way?”
“Because they are no longer gay and innocent and heartless. It is only the gay and innocent and heartless who can fly.”
If we believe your metaphor Dick, then according to this excerpt, the mother no longer has sex with the father and she is telling her child that only happy, inexperienced and heartless people engage in sex? Hmmm, I do believe Barrie was married and not a celibacy advocate so methinks you are wrong in your metaphorical association.
If happy, innocent and heartless people are the only ones who can fly/have sex, then only fairies have sex (or in your own words, hussies. Please advise if we should also call the male fairies, hussies). If fairies are the only ones getting any, how can Tinke being doing it with the lost boys? They aren’t fairies and therefore how can they be getting anything from her?
” * There ought to be one fairy for every boy and girl.”
“Ought to be? Isn’t there?”
“No. You see children know such a lot now, they soon don’t believe in fairies, and every time a child says, ‘I don’t believe in fairies,’ there is a fairy somewhere that falls down dead.”
* Peter flung out his arms. There were no children there, and it was night time; but he addressed all who might be dreaming of the Neverland, and who were therefore nearer to him than you think: boys and girls in their nighties, and naked papooses in their baskets hung from trees.
“Do you believe?” he cried.
* “If you believe,” he shouted to them, “clap your hands; don’t let Tink die.”
Many clapped.
Some didn’t.
A few beasts hissed.
The clapping stopped suddenly; as if countless mothers had rushed to their nurseries to see what on earth was happening; but already Tink was saved. First her voice grew strong, then she popped out of bed, then she was flashing through the room more merry and impudent than ever. She never thought of thanking those who believed, but she would have like to get at the ones who had hissed.”
If Barrie intended Tinke to be symbolic of a hussy, why would he have his “hero child” character persuading other children to believe in her and save her?
Your argument is nonesical.
Alpha male, pack mentality — the most mantastic of mentalities. Peter Pan and the Lost Boys are a utopian society with only one real problem: Tinkerbelle.
The Lost Boys and Peter Pan have wild adventures and battle a number of foes that represent various external analogues in the real world. They take them on as a team and as friends.
Tinkerbelle, on the other hand, has only one purpose. She uses it to oblige them all.
-Dick
how very enlightening. Why don’t you also tell us about the meaning underlying the relationship between Peter Pan and his ragamuffin friends.
Dick: Interesting idea. I assumed it was a demonstration of ignorance, you assume it is some blend of conscious/unconscious motivation. Given that my assumption assumes some basic moral code that women operate under with some reliability, application of Law 1 suggests that your analysis may be correct.
Female: Take a look at the flying metaphor. Then read the book… 1) “It was a girl called Tinker Bell exquisitely gowned in a skeleton leaf, cut low and square, through which her figure could be seen to the best advantage”
…
2) “And indeed Tink was darting about again, using offensive language.”
…
3) “she followed Tink to her doom”
hussy: a woman considered brazen (1,2) or immoral (3)
a saucy or impudent girl (2)
I think hussy is one of the kinder words Dick could have used.
Christian: Indeed.
“a girlâ€?, you’ve moved from questioning how Dick concludes Tinker Bell was a hussy to referring to her as one. You might at least acknowledge he was right and that you’ve learned something.”
Wolfe….honestly.
I do not put faith in any of the conclusions that Dick draws, however I am aware that fighting with him over the fact that Tinkerbell is not a hussy, is pointless. Therefore, for the sake of moving forward with the discussion one must allow some leeway.
“That replicates a lot of what passes for female “thinkingâ€?.”
Now we have a complete range.
What the? Tinkerbelle is a cartoon fairy you fool. How does a fairy become associated with a hussy? Is there a porn Peter Pan Disney release available now? Oh wait, I got it. She wears a short fairy dress *slaps self* so of course she’s a hussy. If Barrie had drawn her wearing a nun’s habit (but she was still a fairy and still called him a silly ass) would you still call her a hussy?
wolfe, if I may. I think that subconciously even the dimmest of women make the Tinkerbelle/bitch connection and consciously feel some kind of unwitting representation therein. It is this attraction that then prompts the “athletically pleasing� tattoo and similarly the adoption of what you call the motif.
I’m not explaining this per se. I simply wanted to document it.
-Dick
“a girl”, you’ve moved from questioning how Dick concludes Tinker Bell was a hussy to referring to her as one. You might at least acknowledge he was right and that you’ve learned something.
Does one man’s view of women prove that’s what women are? No, but it’s very interesting to see women buying into the Tinker Bell motif without knowing what it means, as did the woman with the tattoo in the original post, and virtually every single female poster here including you.
That replicates a lot of what passes for female “thinking”.
Dick the only joke here is you
Right, so if we take the greatest literary minds in the history of mankind and compile their wisdom into one portrait of what it is to be woman, what we get is of no significance?
What a joke.
-Dick
Ok so one man in his very simple manolanguage created Tinkerbell in the image of a “hussy”….This does not prove that women are in fact such, it is one mans perception (however weak that may be) on women and society.
Thank you, wolfe. I’ll probably end up writing a much larger study of the work. Maybe during a Women in Literature week.
-Dick
You’ve really got something there, Dick (in the metaphor and more). Peter Pan works on so many levels. First, the superficial princess complex that satisfies women:
Wendy,� he continued, in a voice that no woman has ever yet been able to resist, “Wendy, one girl is more use than twenty boys.�
Note Barrie’s brilliance here… he gives women something on the surface that’s shiny and irresistable, yet the “in a voice that no woman has ever been able to resist” gives the truth for anyone paying attention.
Moments later…
Tinker Bell answered insolently.
“What does she say, Peter?�
He had to translate. “She is not very polite. She says you are a great ugly girl, and that she is my fairy.�
He tried to argue with Tink. “You know you can’t be my fairy, Tink, because I am an gentleman and you are a lady.�
To this Tink replied in these words, “You silly ass,� and disappeared into the bathroom. “She is quite a common fairy,� Peter explained apologetically, “she is called Tinker Bell because she mends the pots and kettles.�
This of course reinforces Dick’s insight on the flying as a metaphor for sex, and the rivalry between the two, but was also almost prophetic in its analysis of women’s societal devolution in search of careers to which they are ill-suited.
Like many women who post here, the fairy is “common”, vulgar, insults and curses precisely because she seeks after the career of mending pots and pans.
I’d never read Peter Pan on that level, perhaps in part because I’d only read it as a child. Total masculine kudos, Dick, for opening up that book on a whole new level of literature.
Fictional is not a solid line that separates into fact and false. Tinkerbelle is an accurate portrayal of women — except for the flying part. Women could never offer something like that. Tinkerbelle is then perhaps an idealized woman.
-Dick