That’ll Still Look Hot When You’re 80.
When men get tattoos they are unique and meaningful. Men get tattoos like Waldo riding a comet across their backs, or two girls in bikinis lifting an anchor. That’s awesome. How about a Chinese character that means “bad ass”? Oh yea. Very manly. When women get tattoos it’s always the same shit: a rose on the boob that you’re not supposed to look at, or a target on the ass.
If men were as predictable and promiscuous as women when they got tattoos, every man would have a giant money sign tattooed on his bicep.
“Where’s my tattoo you ask? Let me show you. Hrrk.”
Fortunately for everyone men have a little thing called class.
Tattoos have always been a man thing. All the way back to a time when men were out hunting and gathering and women hadn’t yet learned to speak. What a paradise — the quiet, nag-less utopia of the prehistoric man. That’s when tattoos started. I imagine men invented them in order to proudly display how many wooly mammoths they’d slain in battle. That might not be true, but it’s enough to demonstrate why women have no place in the realm of the painted flesh.
Just like in finance and science, when women get involved in a man thing it’s painfully obvious that they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. Here’s an example: Tinkerbelle on the hip. Now this is a real tattoo that I have seen on a real woman — and not a stripper mind you, an actual woman walking down the street. Trust me, it wasn’t a stripper walking down the street. Here’s my question: what in the fuck does Tinkerbelle have to do with anything? What is the statement here?
When a man gets a tattoo, he’s making a statement. In the case of Waldo, a man is saying, “Where’s Waldo? I’ll tell you where Waldo is. He’s right the fuck here riding a giant comet in your face.” And that is a perfectly fine thing to say. It’s lets the world know what the score is first step onto the pitch. Man: 1, World: 0.
Now what does some goofy pseudo-Indian design on a woman’s lower back say? I’m in touch with the spirit of nature? Maybe, but probably no. How about, look at my lower back please; I need tons of attention. Getting warmer, but still no. Give up? Here’s what it says:
I’m decoration.
Women have don’t have enough philosophy or personality on which to base a tattoo. That’s why they suck at getting them. That’s also why women love Hallmark so fucking much. Because it’s a bunch of prepackaged kitsch shit that defines every essence of their being in a two sentence limerick, a hunk of porcelain with oversized eyes, or a 2×4 reprint of Monet. Women are Hallmark. They’re way overpriced and none of them do a goddamn thing.
Related Articles:
Pages: « 6 5 4 [3] 2 1 » Show All
I don’t think tatoos look nice on women. The only purposeful one I have ever seen was the one on my friend’s ex-girlfriend’s left hand. It was of an L. She wasn’t the brightest girl, bless her.
Clarkey.
The only person that thinks that a tatoo is classy here is a woman.
Dicks point, and I agree totally with him is that when a man gets a tatoo, it generally has some kind of meaning, indeed it is often an expression of what he is feeling. His girlfriends name, his army unit, his favourite football team, the prison he did time in, something funny, something remotely significant. If you cant figure a mans tatoo out, its probably because he wants to be asked what it means so that he can relate some important event in his life.
Ask a woman, and you’ll get the standard, ‘because I thought it would look cute’ shit.
Personally I cant stand tatoos and would never get one, but I can understand why anyone would want one.
The tattoos on the back of women are called “Bitch Stamps” and appropriately so, this is why most women clones have to have one. Cause everyone else has,…..baa……baaa……baaaaa…..!
You and a lot of other women.
-Dick
Tattoos aren’t classy period. Doesn’t matter whether they’re on a cat’s ear, a woman’s lumbar or a man’s bicep. I imagine Dick has a full suit of them.
To be honest, I dont need to know what womens tatoos mean and Dick is 100% right. For women, tatoos need no meaning nor any significance. They just need to draw attention. Where the tatoo is located says it all.
Tatoo near navel means : ‘Look at my navel’
Tatoo near ass means : ‘Look at my ass’
Tatoo on tits means : ‘Look at my tits’
Women cant even tell when they are acting slutty anymore. They call it being classy.
Guess I should have re-read the topic lol my bad
She said tatoos are for men, yet she has one herself. I see…
I wasn’t talking about tinkerbells on hips, try actually reading words instead of glancing at them and pretending to know what they say.
Im talking about the herd mentality of young women and how they abuse their bodies to get more sex. You dont see thousands of men walking around with the same damn tatoos in the same damn places do you. Have some sense of individualism for gods sake.
You call matching Tinkerbelle tattoos on your ass classy?
-Dick
that is the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard. tattoos are for men. i happen to have a tinkerbell on my lower back, which i’ve wanted for years and years. finally when i was 17 , me and my mom went and got matching. so u wonder when ur walking down the street and see one on a females hip, what the fuck does that have to do with anything?
why the fuck should we have to explain it to you. its our tattoos and we know the meaning
maybe your just too nosey and need to get a life other than worrying about everyone elses life. and im pretty sure alot of girls would have more class than you since in one of your past entries of how curse words make sugar plums cry. so since we dont find the need to swear and be rude every second of every day makes us have no class.. appearintly it makes guys have no brains if you seem to think that.
Ive seen many a man sporting interesting tattoos. Everything from the names of their sweethearts to ancient mystic words and phrases can be found in varouis places on the body.
Turning to women however, why is it that practically every single girl I see, has practically the same design (normally plaguerised from some tribe) etched just above their arsecheeks. I can understand the positioning, apparantly fat is not stored there.
What gets me is the design itself…
I saw an article addressing this in a magazine once, A survey was carried out amongst young girls to get some answers. It turns out 95% of the girls asked had no idea what the designs meant, nor which tribe to attribute them to.
Ill let you draw your own conclusions from that one.
Is imagenery anything like celery?
-Dick
You men are better at twisting words and spewing lies than Dubya and his imaginery WMD.
Your guess is wrong.
Female you really seem to be struggling with the new quoting system. I’d offer to write you a tutorial, but I don’t want you incompetent women posting on this site, so I think I’ll just invite you to fuck off.
-Dick
Why would I be scared to quote that? I guess you imagine me to be happy (correct), innocent (don’t think so) and heartless (yes, when required). Should I be ashamed of these things? Piss off with your moral judgements, who the hell do you think you are?!
Female is suggesting that Barrie would kill off one of his most beloved characters just because she was a woman. That’s horrible and absurd.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Just because men are better than women doesn’t mean myself or any other man hates women. Nothing could be further from the truth! In the case of Tinkerbelle she demonstrates exactly that it is man’s pity for womankind that drives us to help them.
-Dick
More seriously, Female (and I’d apologize, but after the mockery you made of the quoting system Dick installed), you do raise some surprisingly good points.
You are wrong, but you attempt to argue from rationality without tossing in Freud or DSM-IV-TR, or the latest nonsense your therapist has peddled to you with the anger crystals. This is a tremendous leap forward for you. Are the anger crystals working?
First, you argue flying is not a metaphor for sex, and cite the example of Barrie (ditto Wendy) being married. This could quite readily be a commentary on sex generally diminishing sharply once married, more so after children are born. You also should examine closely the accelerated aging process that takes place as generations pass in the last page or two of the book. Third, there is such a thing as a metaphor being capable of temporal multi-level existence.
Happy, innocent and heartless. I commend you for quoting that. I didn’t think you would, for fear of what it reveals. Ponder on that trinity and on what Barrie’s saying.
This is a rather interesting point. I’ll give you two answers; first, Barrie was a Christian. He believed in redemptive power, and salvation. Compare the sacrifice of Aslan in the Narnia books for Edmund the betrayer.
Second, and more cynically, Barrie was a man. He recognized the necessity of the Hussy archetype (to women if no one else), and hence the need to save her, undeserving though she was.
The quote system is a success already.
Hilarious.
-Dick
Correct.
(and I didn’t even have to edit her quote).