Curse Words Make Sugar-Plum Fairies Cry

I can’t count the number of times I’ve been chastised by a raving schoolmarm (who should have been minding her own fucking business) for tossing a few baudy, blue color words into a conversation. As a man I use swear words, or “sentence enhancers” as I call them, with extreme discretion and in proper taste at all times. That doesn’t seem to be enough for women though.

And why would it be? It is perfectly reasonable.

Women say that swearing is uncouth or inappropriate. What I say to that is, are you fucking serious? That’s the stupidest of shit that I have ever heard it. And I’ve heard plenty of stupid shit.

The real reason women hate swearing is because they actually think curse words are magical.

It’s no secret that women believe in fairies and Easter bunnies and princesses in far away castles and ogres and bullshit. They’re raised on it like calves on bonemeal, and it’s so ingrained in their psyches that the process of inventing wildly delusional and fantasic drama governs the entire rest of their lives.

The truth is that swearing puts asses in the seats. Swearing gives something with no credibility a shitload of it — like ten times. Swearing is how you make a good point a fucking great point.

That’s yet another reason why men are better than women. Because we men like to make things better with our man-tools, be they physical (like a wrench or an anvil) or figurative (like swearing, or thinking, or a round of fisticuffs). Points, seats, quality of life; it’s all the same in a man’s world — something to improve.

A woman, on the other hand, prefers to invent crazy reasons not to use the tools readily available to her in order to achieve. In this case I’m talking about Casper the Ghost and Scooby the Boogeyman who both hate swearing so much that I guess they’ll commit suicide if they hear you doing it. I think I speak for all of us men when I say: You gotta be fucking shitting me here.

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110 Responses to “Curse Words Make Sugar-Plum Fairies Cry”

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  1. Dakota Smith Says:

    Actually, I’m a bit confused.

    If you look at Sandra’s IP Man-Hash from last night, it’s different from today’s. A different set of comments appears.

    However, I’ve had private email with her, and she tells me that it’s her in both cases.

    Sandra, were you posting from a different computer or location last night?

  2. sandra Says:

    no i was using the same computer both times so all the “sandra” ’s are me and i didnt make any posts under different name’s like it shows in the IP man-hash with all these other names

  3. Dakota Smith Says:

    Well, the reason it’s confusing, Sandra, is this:

    Every computer or firewall device on the Internet has its own unique address called an “IP Address”. As broadband replaces dial-up Internet access, it is increasingly common for those addresses to remain the same all the time.

    What the IP Man-Hash does is run a calculation against the IP address to produce a hexidecimal number. That allows one to identify the same user without giving out their IP address. This is a useful privacy measure, since IP addresses can be geolocated with varying degrees of accuracy.

    So what the IP Man-Hash is revealing is that last night you had one IP address and today you have a different one.

    There are a number of reasons that this can happen. I post from both home and work, so my username will show different Man-Hashes depending on where I was when I posted. From home, it will show my home firewall’s address. From work, it will show my work firewall’s address. If I’m on the road and connect to the Internet through a local wireless access point, it will show the address of that entity’s firewall.

    Typically (though not always), broadband IP addresses don’t change very often. I’ve had the same one at home for a year or so, now, and at work it never changes.

    Bottom line: the only way for it to show up as different Man-Hashes is if you’re posting from different addresses, even if you’re on the same computer.

    Are you possibly using dial-up for your Internet? If not, was the power on whatever device you plug into (or your wireless radio connects to) cycled sometime in the last 24 hours? Did you have a laptop at an Internet cafe or library last night or today?

  4. sandra Says:

    uhh i have dial up, yes. old school, yes.

  5. Dakota Smith Says:

    That probably explains it. I just looked at the message headers in the emails you sent me privately. There were two different IP addresses, which is consistent with dial-up Internet. Dial-up providers tend to assign IP addresses from large pools with the address being given out when you dial in, then thrown back into the pool when you hang up. Consequently, with dial-up, the IP changes from call to call.

    Just to make sure, I geolocated the two IP addresses in your emails and then did a traceroute from my computer to them. They both geolocate to the same town in Virginia, which is consistent with where you said you were from last night. Furthermore, the traceroutes are identical up to the twelfth hop, which is extremely consistent with your ISP farming them out and then firewalling at the last hop for their own protection.

    So I think we can safely say that you are who you say you are. :)

  6. Dick Masterson Says:

    That’s great, sandra. Now fuck off my website.

    -Dick

  7. sandra Says:

    you say the same thing every fucking time. not effective.

  8. diamatik Says:

    Not effective because he is trying to use reason on a cow. He should know better than to try to reason on a dumb animal.

  9. sandra Says:

    im no less than you. i dont quite understand why you insist to compare me to a “cow” or a “dumb animal” unless you consider yourself as one as well.

  10. Aaron Says:

    Sandra has contradicted herself many times now. She is even using “swearing” in her comments after accusing them to be uneffective. Big achievement there!

    Love the site by the way.
    Aaron from Oz

  11. sandra Says:

    no, i most definately swear. obviously. its not ALL i do though. i dont swear going ‘oh look how manly i am’. and i did say that it emphasizes (maybe not the best way…) the point. it’s just i dont agree that it makes anything you say credible like whoever was saying.

  12. Aaron Says:

    Sandra, by coming on this site and commenting, the only thing you are doing is prooving this website right. Men are better than woman and i hope there is a gender war in the western world. It is making us all sick. The amount of laws biased towards women can’t exist any longer. Women here in Australia are just as delusional as American women.

  13. son of the suns Says:

    Aaron said:

    Sandra, by coming on this site and commenting, the only thing you are doing is prooving this website right. Men are better than woman and i hope there is a gender war in the western world. It is making us all sick. The amount of laws biased towards women can’t exist any longer. Women here in Australia are just as delusional as American women.

    Too bad for you Aaron those laws are the sacred cow of liberal politicians. All that gets them elected is the female vote. No government in history that has been given as much power as the US/EU/AU ones have ever just “gave it back”. It will take a socio-religious revolution or bloody civil war.

  14. Aaron Says:

    well the gospels are out and men are realising more and more. The war on women is not a joke anymore.

  15. Big Al Says:

    sandra said:

    im no less than you. i dont quite understand why you insist to compare me to a “cow” or a “dumb animal”.

    I guess you wouldn’t, sandra.

    -Big Al

  16. diamatik Says:

    son of the suns said:
    … the sacred cow of liberal politicians. All that gets them elected is the female vote.

    I’m not the only one talking about cows here.

  17. amy Says:

    its a real shame both your brain and your penis are the size of peanuts or you might actually have something interesting to say

  18. sonyad Says:

    For some time now it’s never failed to bring a smirk to my face. Well done, little sheath, well done.

  19. Big Al Says:

    amy said:
    its a real shame both your brain and your penis are the size of peanuts or you might actually have something interesting to say

    That was interesting, Amy.

    Of course, if a man went on a feminist site and and posted “It’s a real shame both your arse and your vagina are the size of the Grand Canyon or you might actually have something interesting to say”, you would work yourself into a lather of outrage about how stupid and puerile men are.

    I won’t do that to you, Ames.

    Because men are better than women.

    -Big Al

  20. diamatik Says:

    amy said:

    its a real shame both your brain and your penis are the size of peanuts or you might actually have something interesting to say

    So true! We are nothing like you. Look at how well you express yourself in writing, with your precise grammar, excellent use of capitalisation and perfect punctuation. And your remarks about the size of our brains and penises are so insightful, original and interesting. I often wonder how it is that women like you are able to create such unique and captivating ideas.

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