Women Have Cooties
Men have more androgen in their systems than women. And androgen, as any biologist or man can tell you, is not only the key ingredient of awesome, but it also creates thicker more resilient skin.
But there’s another reason why women’s faces fall the fuck apart the second they hit thirty — a reason that has nothing to do with the Make-up Biologique.
It’s because twice every day of their lives, women plaster enough goo and junk on themselves to choke a donkey.
Why do they do this? What am I Mr. Answers with the answers to everything?
You bet your ass I am.
Men, can you remember the last time you went to bed with a woman without hearing either of the following:
“Don’t touch my face. I just put some face softening and melting cream on it so it’ll be fucked in ten years.”
Or
“Hey can you pass me the remote so I can get lotion and shit all over it that will never come off and will make your hand smell like vanilla every time you watch TV.”
No you can’t, and neither can I. That is, unless you’ve had the pleasure of not sleeping with a woman yet. And if you have, let me tell you this. Women do not look even look close to the fucking same in the morning. It’s like night and day. No I take that back. It’s like Technicolor and not Technicolor. You can fill in the blanks from there I’m sure.
Now, I’m not saying that’s bad. Women are still beautiful and unique things. Just don’t try to convince them of that in the morning or you’re the new fucking Hitler.
What we’re getting at here is a bigger issue. And that is that all women are not frauds exactly, they’re just embarrassed to be women.
They wear masks every day of their lives to cover it up. They wearing clothing that says they’re a size or two smaller than they actually are — as if we couldn’t tell. Hell, if they could get away with it, they would wear strap-ons and fake Groucho Marx moustaches and call themselves men.
They couldn’t get away with that though. Because then none of them would have jobs or SUV’s sitting in the driveway to take them to Starbucks after a long day of doing absolutely fucking nothing.
If I was a woman, I’d be embarrassed too.
Related Articles:
July 30th, 2005 at 1:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: f05d33d9d071e
I am living in Switzerland and I see the same thing over here. they are the same no matter where they are.
When ever I look at TV or newspaper or any fu..ing things, I see that they are selling their ass and their body to the best offer. there is no time in any place that you don’t see that. From 5 at the morning to the …..morning.
Always the same thing, men are less and less interstted, they more and more put out their body. they think by this they can get the men’s attention.
So wrong, men are loosing their interest toward them, more and more knowing them what they are.
August 5th, 2005 at 6:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 46d8304bbb9af
Don’t kid yourself that you’re beautiful Dick.
Just because men get bald and grow beer bellies there’s no need to take it out on women by saying that we wear makeup.
If you’re trying to insult women you should have something more insulting to say than ha ha you wear makeup…..yes, and?
August 6th, 2005 at 11:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 8d8d8d101e090
This is ridiculous. Men are not better than women, and women are not better than men. Both genders are equal, there are just a few differences which need to be considered. So men don’t wear make up, this doesn’t mean they are more attractive, they just don’t care about their appearance. Also, women are safer drivers but men are better at parking. Men are selfish and inconsiderate, whereas women are generous and caring. There are hundreds more to list but I don’t have the time. You need to realise that these differences are not deficiencies.
August 7th, 2005 at 9:24 am - IP Man-Hash: b084d91b2575f
Alison, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but you live in a fantasy world of bullshit. If both genders are equal then how are men so much faster than women? How are men such more accomplished artisans and musicians? Name one female composer from the days of yore that most people walking down the street will have heard of.
You can’t.
And everyone get ready for the bullshit on that one, because it is impossible.
Men > Women.
-Dick
August 8th, 2005 at 1:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 46d8304bbb9af
The reason that there are more famous men in the past is because women have been repressed for so long, hence feminism. If men had not repressed women for so long then there would not have been such a surge of feminism.
Don’t blame women for something men helped to cause. Feminists are here to stay so stop being such a baby and get over it Dick.
August 12th, 2005 at 6:19 am - IP Man-Hash: b0e7aae980b2e
Once again, I see that there are women who not only refuse to follow the rule, “No women allowed”, but also seem to feel their comments are as relevant as those posted by men. I will stoop to respond to the comment by the girl above, Nicole, only because I feel that, even though she sounds stupid, there must be at least a tiny bit of intelligence rolling around in her skull because she has obviously learned how to type. Contrary to what you say, men have not repressed women. Men, had they wanted to, could have done so because of their superior strength and brainpower. But they chose not to because they are gracious and humane. Women have kept themselves marginalized in all fields of endeavor because they would rather shop, giggle with their friends, and put on makeup than split the atom or build bridges.
August 13th, 2005 at 8:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 7098936dc14b3
Yes, splitting the atom. Mankinds greatest achievment. Yes, Oppenheimer is so proud of making that bomb. Whatabout Marie Curie and her work into X rays, now that’s something productive that has helped humanity. She wasn’t always out shopping and giggling with friends.
August 17th, 2005 at 10:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3dddc19b55aad
Technology is neither evil nor benign. It is the choices we make that determine that.
Splitting atoms to achieve huge levels of energy from small amounts of matter is an amazing accomplishment. It required fundamental shifts to our understanding of the universe and physics in order to achieve it.
Using that technology to defend entire nations of innocent civilians from megalomaniacs?
Regretable, but arguably for the greater good.
Restraining the use of that technology for generations thereafter?
Admirable.