Women Have Cooties

Men have more androgen in their systems than women. And androgen, as any biologist or man can tell you, is not only the key ingredient of awesome, but it also creates thicker more resilient skin.

But there’s another reason why women’s faces fall the fuck apart the second they hit thirty — a reason that has nothing to do with the Make-up Biologique.

It’s because twice every day of their lives, women plaster enough goo and junk on themselves to choke a donkey.

Why do they do this? What am I Mr. Answers with the answers to everything?

You bet your ass I am.

Men, can you remember the last time you went to bed with a woman without hearing either of the following:

“Don’t touch my face. I just put some face softening and melting cream on it so it’ll be fucked in ten years.”

Or

“Hey can you pass me the remote so I can get lotion and shit all over it that will never come off and will make your hand smell like vanilla every time you watch TV.”

No you can’t, and neither can I. That is, unless you’ve had the pleasure of not sleeping with a woman yet. And if you have, let me tell you this. Women do not look even look close to the fucking same in the morning. It’s like night and day. No I take that back. It’s like Technicolor and not Technicolor. You can fill in the blanks from there I’m sure.

Now, I’m not saying that’s bad. Women are still beautiful and unique things. Just don’t try to convince them of that in the morning or you’re the new fucking Hitler.

What we’re getting at here is a bigger issue. And that is that all women are not frauds exactly, they’re just embarrassed to be women.

They wear masks every day of their lives to cover it up. They wearing clothing that says they’re a size or two smaller than they actually are — as if we couldn’t tell. Hell, if they could get away with it, they would wear strap-ons and fake Groucho Marx moustaches and call themselves men.

They couldn’t get away with that though. Because then none of them would have jobs or SUV’s sitting in the driveway to take them to Starbucks after a long day of doing absolutely fucking nothing.

If I was a woman, I’d be embarrassed too.

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30 Comments in 29 threads.»

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Comment by Garrett
2008-09-28 18:10:40 - IP Man-Hash: 30a92e4f51f42

Listen, feminism is a bunch of women deluded into thinking they deserve more, and pretty stupid at that. But this, this is just bullshit. This is the feminism for males, you know what I’m saying? You guys who agree with him, are either completely retarded, or sexist assholes, and I know, people are going to call me a balless excuse for a male, or something along those lines, but don’t bother, I won’t read it, I won’t even know you put it up.

 
Comment by KristinM
2008-06-14 19:26:45 - IP Man-Hash: 8a37b6454e781

It’s called bacteria which everything collects…

 
Comment by Toohot4uboys
2008-04-07 00:22:28 - IP Man-Hash: 105b9136f157d

“Women are still beautiful and unique things.”

This sentence would actually work without the word “things”.

Why so superficial and hollow? So manly to see the world as “things”. What’s next a HSC credit card. Your a fucking worm.

Comment by Champ585
2008-09-28 18:14:04 - IP Man-Hash: 30a92e4f51f42

… toohot4uboys? really? That makes it sound like you wanna get laid one of these dickless idiots.

 
 
Comment by anon
2007-12-18 00:15:56 - IP Man-Hash: e0f131a688f70

P Coderch said:

Jeff Ballin said:

Actually a hydrogen bomb is quite simple. You need a source of hydrogen compressed, and a way of generating ample heat. Both are simple to get a hold of, hydrogen comes off water with electricty being passed through it, balloons can compress it. A heat source could be a fucking bic for all i care.

No, you need Plutonium, Lithium deuteride and Tritium. All these compouns are extremely difficult to maufacture. If it were so easy to make, don’t you think Al Quaeda would already have detonated one on American soil?

P Coderch

I guess this makes sense since the H-bomb needs the fission reaction around the hydrogen core to set off the fusion reaction in the first place. I sincerely doubt a BIC lighter will just do it.

I guess no matter where you go, regardless of gender, there will always be people that talk out of their ass and the people who have to correct their careless statements.

 
Comment by P Coderch
2007-12-17 22:29:29 - IP Man-Hash: 7b2d081a727d6

Jeff Ballin said:

Actually a hydrogen bomb is quite simple. You need a source of hydrogen compressed, and a way of generating ample heat. Both are simple to get a hold of, hydrogen comes off water with electricty being passed through it, balloons can compress it. A heat source could be a fucking bic for all i care.

No, you need Plutonium, Lithium deuteride and Tritium. All these compouns are extremely difficult to maufacture. If it were so easy to make, don’t you think Al Quaeda would already have detonated one on American soil?

P Coderch

 
Comment by Jeff Ballin
2007-12-17 21:25:30 - IP Man-Hash: 4ffab55d4bf54

Actually a hydrogen bomb is quite simple. You need a source of hydrogen compressed, and a way of generating ample heat. Both are simple to get a hold of, hydrogen comes off water with electricty being passed through it, balloons can compress it. A heat source could be a fucking bic for all i care.

 
Comment by P Coderch
2007-11-04 12:32:11 - IP Man-Hash: 47e070fd87755

King Wang said:

I agree with CODE, except the nuclear wasteland left over. I really don’t want to eat 3-headed corn ears, cabbage that will bitch at me like a 10 year old fucking girl, or have to herd a shitload of 2 1/2 legged fucking goats. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT WOULD SUCK MAN-ASS!!

Go ask Japan how it worked out for them, they will tell you it sucked for a while, but as some of the richest people on earth, it probably wasn’t so bad really………….(yes, I do understand the differences involved in nuclear fission, and the different constructions of the bombs used, no need to point out that it was a Hydrogen bomb, and not a “true” nuke).

I actually designed one with a friend of mine in 7th grade Science class.
And I also just realized that I lit the wrong end of my cigarette…………

The problems caused by Jews and the Middle-East will greatly outlive radiation.

As for the bombs on Japan, those were fission bombs and not hydrogen bombs, which use fusion an dnot fission. The first hydrogen bomb was only detonated in 1952.

If you designed an atomic bomb in 7th grade, then I believe you have the smarts to create an android that will would give men sexual pleasure without the having to deal with the bitchicism of women, or a virtual reality simulator that allows you to band Claudia Shiffer in her prime while feeling exactly like the real thing. Why are you not working in these projects? If you designed an atom bomb in 7th grade then you I.Q might be as high as 180, so you have the potential to make a real contribution to the well-being of men.

P Coderch

 
Comment by King Wang
2007-11-04 00:19:38 - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8

I agree with CODE, except the nuclear wasteland left over. I really don’t want to eat 3-headed corn ears, cabbage that will bitch at me like a 10 year old fucking girl, or have to herd a shitload of 2 1/2 legged fucking goats. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT WOULD SUCK MAN-ASS!!

Go ask Japan how it worked out for them, they will tell you it sucked for a while, but as some of the richest people on earth, it probably wasn’t so bad really………….(yes, I do understand the differences involved in nuclear fission, and the different constructions of the bombs used, no need to point out that it was a Hydrogen bomb, and not a “true” nuke).

I actually designed one with a friend of mine in 7th grade Science class.
And I also just realized that I lit the wrong end of my cigarette…………

 
Comment by P Coderch
2007-11-03 20:33:25 - IP Man-Hash: 47e070fd87755

W-Hortencia (likes the ladies) said:

Yes, splitting the atom. Mankinds greatest achievment. Yes, Oppenheimer is so proud of making that bomb. Whatabout Marie Curie and her work into X rays, now that’s something productive that has helped humanity. She wasn’t always out shopping and giggling with friends.

STFU YOU UGLY LESBO BITCH!! ATOMIC BOMBS ARE THE COOLEST THING EVER CREATED. NOTHING IS MANLIER THAN THE CAPACITY TO BLOW UP ENTIRE PLANETS!!!! I HOPE ATOMIC WEAPONS ARE USED SOME DAY!!!! THERE ARE LOTS OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO DESERVE TO BE KILLED AND THE ATOMIZING THEM IS THE FASTEST WAY TO DO IT. FOR INSTANCE, THE MIDDLE EAST NEEDS TO BE NUKED TOGETHER WITH THE BANDIT STATE OF ISRAEL. NUKE AFRICA, TOO, AND KILL ALL THOSE POOR, STUPID PEOPLE!!! BAM!!!! PROBLEM SOLVED!!! BAM!!!! BAM!!!!! BAM!!!!!! PROBLEM SOLVED!!!!!

P Coderch

 
Comment by Christian J
2005-11-06 15:06:29 - IP Man-Hash: 5a568da6546c3

Dcp,

You can pick up any thread and go with it. Ignore the resident troll.

Nicole as you can see by the login in either a wit or a twit.

I don’t think she’s a wit.

 
Comment by Female
2005-11-05 19:47:15 - IP Man-Hash: dd1b911ab43ac

well probably not anyone of the people involved in this thread, seeing as the last post was 26th August.

 
Comment by dcp
2005-11-05 13:44:40 - IP Man-Hash: c1c982bd2e54f

Nick H said:

What the fuck dose Nicole think womanising means?

More importantly, who the fuck cares?

 
Comment by Audacious
2005-08-26 00:27:51 - IP Man-Hash: 705a5a6f1d323

Sorry ladies, I’m parting with the guys on the one. Although, I’m not agreeing with Dick, anyone that doesn’t take care of their bodies (meaning exercise and eating right) will age faster than anyone else. We all think females have fragile skin because we treat it like it’s fragile. If we all realize our faces are just a clean and smooth with regular soap, instead of purchasing the 5 different soaps the commercials tell us to get…I think we’d be just fine.

 
Comment by Nick H
2005-08-25 16:39:00 - IP Man-Hash: 8c6dbdbee0572

What the fuck dose Nicole think womanising means?

 
Comment by alen
2005-08-22 08:10:37 - IP Man-Hash: 841b5a7609141

That’s why I included the example with Americans. (If you read that far)

And no, it’s not that dissimilar; that’s why I’m highlighting it as a dramatic example of where faulty logic can lead you wrong. I’m sure that the KKK felt they were being wronged and needed to fight back through dramatic action. I don’t agree with it morally; but bad logic, is bad logic.

 
Comment by Nicole the near-retarded poetry writing sixteen year old (get it)
2005-08-20 16:55:31 - IP Man-Hash: 46d8304bbb9af

alen, saying men are responsible for feminism because they repressed them is not the same as the kkk because they were not repressed by blacks, duh.

You twisted my argument.

Basically say the kkk repressed the blacks, the blacks fought back because they were repressed. Therefore if the blacks had not been repressed in the first place there would not have been that whole Martin Luther King thing. So really the kkk caused the blacks to speak up because they repressed them.

Do you understand my point now?

P.S. I think racism is even more despicable than womanising. Thankfully it is mostly over now apart from a few sick individuals, just like womanising. Yeah, I’m talking about you Dick.

 
Comment by alen
2005-08-19 04:33:30 - IP Man-Hash: 3dddc19b55aad

W-Hortencia,

I’m sorry, but what is your point exactly?

You started off generalizing atomic bombs as not being productive or helping humanity, compared to x-rays;
now you’ve switched to nuclear reactors and are generalizing again, based on a specific incident; but stating that an (unknown?) woman was critical in designing the technology.

???

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2005-08-18 16:15:00 - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3

Yes, you’re right Horty. You don’t think.

-Dick

 
Comment by W-Hortencia (likes the ladies)
2005-08-18 15:55:34 - IP Man-Hash: 479453da9a71b

As amazing as splitting the atom is from a scientific standpoint, I don’t think the people of Chernobyl are thinking that it was a great way of producing energy, those that are left that is. Just because people can do something, doesn’t mean they should. By the way in making the worlds first nuclear reactor there was a women who was instrumental in making the calculations and counting the amount of radiation produced. (sorry I’ve forgotten her name)

 
Comment by alen
2005-08-18 06:02:33 - IP Man-Hash: 6a9283bd40454

Nicole,

you said:

“The reason that there are more famous men in the past is because women have been repressed for so long, hence feminism. If men had not repressed women for so long then there would not have been such a surge of feminism.”

“Don’t blame women for something men helped to cause. Feminists are here to stay so stop being such a baby and get over it Dick. ”

Information on female oppression comes from feminism itself.
There are many cases of pure (and discredited) propoganda from feminism that were created in order to leverage the concept of female oppression. Using information written from an idiology to justify that idiology is circular logic, and can be dangerous.

What you’re doing is similar to blaming african-americans for the creation of the KKK, because the KKK handbook says they’re a problem; or jews for the creation of Naziism, because Nazis said so; or blaming Americans for middle eastern “extremist factions”, because they believe that Americans are oppressing them.

 
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