Women Still Suck At Computers
Women are leaving the profession of computing in record numbers. A recent study shows the percentage of women in engineering is down from 38% to 28% since 1985. I guess that’s why we call them “engineers” and not “politicians”. With no women around, they actually get things done.
Women suck at computers because they can’t evolve with technology and they don’t know a USB port from a hole in the ground, which they also don’t know from their ass.
I was just riding the elevator up to my flat with an elderly woman. I’m a gentleman so I held the door open for her despite the reeking aroma of rancid butterscotch and prunes. She reeked of it, not me. I always smell like a man: a hint of cedar, a dash of class, and a double douse of sexy, sweaty money. That’s class you can choke on.
The moment the old woman got in, her hand jabbed the “Close Doors” button like it was my wallet and she was about 50 years younger and about seven-cups sizes more statutory.
“Gross,” I thought.
Then she held onto the “Close Doors” button until long after the elevator started moving.
“Interesting choice,” I thought. “Everyone knows that button doesn’t fucking work.”
Women are the amoebas of technological sophistication. They can’t and will never evolve for shit.
Men, on the other hand, are constantly changing. We adapt to new things and also reproduce asexually with computers. I guess that makes us like amoebas of technology as well, but in a different way.
My point is, women keep on hammering the space bar when the Caps Lock key is what they’re looking for. They hit the “Log onto Myspace and Send Slutty Messages to My Ex-Boyfriends” button when what they should have done was taken two Advils and gone the fuck to bed. In twenty years, women will be looking for a place to plug their computer into the wall when plugs don’t even exist anymore.
Amoebas won’t have evolved in that time either.
I guess we’ll be using some kind of eco-fuel at that point instead of wall plugs. Like you’ll pour brandy into your computer.
Jesus, that is the manliest computer I have ever heard of. I just invented it here. I call it the Dick Masterson Masterbox.
I asked the woman on the elevator if she was getting off on the 3rd floor or in 1935. I don’t think she understood what I was talking about. Menopause will do that.
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April 18th, 2007 at 6:22 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
That statement stirred up a question in my mind; why do they call it menopause? Is it because at that point women are of absolutely no use to men, therefore men stop coming around?
But then it shouldn’t be any wonder as to why the men go the other way. Who would want to put up with her hot-flashes and all her other womanly menopausal bullshit when she can no longer even bear you a child?
April 18th, 2007 at 8:56 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fa8b220332f
Didnt understand the point of your story Dicky boy.
April 18th, 2007 at 9:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 139b502a327ba
Gold. Just watch a woman when she is impatiently waiting for the elevator door to close. Every one of them will press that fucking button over and over again.
April 18th, 2007 at 1:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Huh? You don’t swing the doors open and closed by hand?
Such a depraved narcissistic society you people live in!
April 18th, 2007 at 1:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 139b502a327ba
Why do you think we’re all obese?
April 18th, 2007 at 2:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Naturally women fail at CS.
Computer science required you be able to emulate computing machine logic (there’s that funny word again) in your head, not simulate human thought patterns.
April 18th, 2007 at 6:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: ec6857e1b2c56
If a woman can’t get a degree and sit pretending to be boss then they can’t move into that profession. Women are realizing that work is required in some fields. They will avoid work like a plague.
What they want is a high paying job doing nothing while pretending to know something.
April 18th, 2007 at 6:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: a828f6908c021
Right on, Billy. I guess that is why they’re dropping out of the medical profession at alarming rates even after spending ridiculous amounts of time studying for their MD (or whatever).
April 18th, 2007 at 8:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: d5d5e81288fb6
Sounds like they all want to be Senators..
April 18th, 2007 at 8:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: ec6857e1b2c56
The old adage still applies; Women dont know what they want.
They are always wanting but just don’t know what they really want.
Must be sad to live with such a void between the ears.
April 18th, 2007 at 11:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0393e6d40aa57
From the article:
I guess that says it.
-wolfe
April 19th, 2007 at 12:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Hooking into the game engine is ground for VAC banning…
April 19th, 2007 at 4:48 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fa8b220332f
Hacking is the Uber cool.
April 19th, 2007 at 5:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 72656b1cb9ba4
honestly, im a girl, and i have to say that yes, there are women who know NOTHING about anything. And it pains me to say this but they DO give a bad name for the 20% of us that actually know what were doing. Damn you women who know nothing.
April 19th, 2007 at 5:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8d87604c92686
More like 0.1%
April 19th, 2007 at 7:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: ec6857e1b2c56
Most men don’t mind that women know nothing if only they wouldn’t pretend that they do..
April 19th, 2007 at 11:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4cb907dd79990
And yet they mind that men know everything and so pretend that they atleast know something.
April 20th, 2007 at 7:59 am - IP Man-Hash: 9438f68e1c745
100% agree. In my engineering class there are 2 women for 11 students, both got thirds and barely passed last year - only managed because men helped them out.
I long for the days of the all-male lecture theatre, when the lecturer could comfortably make “sexist” jokes and get away with it because everyone in the room agrees…
April 20th, 2007 at 8:07 am - IP Man-Hash: 5e32b3f9ccec1
Yeah, good luck on that one. We’ll all be living in a feminist, Stalinist hell-hole long before then.
April 20th, 2007 at 8:19 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fa8b220332f
Haha well said.
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 49df220e3ab24
wow this site is really trashy
May 2nd, 2007 at 6:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: c3e5e9c9492ea
That’s because everything just looks trashy to you. The kingdom of heaven would look - this is hypothetical, why not go all out - to you, trashy because you just have too much cum in your eyes. Of course, I’m not sure you could see it from hell. Not that I’m a deeply religious person, at least not towards one religion or the other, but I know a lot of goody-good Sunday Christians who think that having one’s head up one’s ass compensates for having a dick up your ass.
May 2nd, 2007 at 7:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 677142741ed2e
Is that ass lodged dick metaphorial or literal?
May 3rd, 2007 at 5:27 am - IP Man-Hash: c3e5e9c9492ea
Both - you know, the girls who go to church with the short skirts and sun dresses.
May 9th, 2007 at 3:42 am - IP Man-Hash: cf13656aadb33
this site is aload of bollocks i bet a woman is writing this stuff for you.
May 9th, 2007 at 3:44 am - IP Man-Hash: cf13656aadb33
hiya gemma and sara
May 9th, 2007 at 3:45 am - IP Man-Hash: cf13656aadb33
hiya tash and rhian! xx
May 9th, 2007 at 3:47 am - IP Man-Hash: cf13656aadb33
hiya charl and kirsti how u doin? xx
May 9th, 2007 at 3:48 am - IP Man-Hash: cf13656aadb33
charl and kirsti how u doin? xx
May 9th, 2007 at 4:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Once again we see the reason why women are forbidden from this site.
May 9th, 2007 at 5:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 760a91233a652
Fuck off, you stuck-up cunt. You need to just crawl back into your little fantasy world and not come out until the sores come back. Yeah, bleeder, you aren’t welcome here. The world isn’t your little sandbox because you aren’t Jesus Christ.
And you might notice, God chose a man to have all that power because a girl would not be able to survive 40 days in the desert. I mean, look at how rickity the average slut’s knees are now.
And with the devil on her back? Well, let’s just say the average “woman’s” lifestyle would not have strengthened her, but rather made her - wouldn’t ya know it - submissive and weak because nothing short of the will of God himself could give a woman the power of a man-mind - and God, in all his wisdom, would just make a man instead.
Wow, logic as opposed to hormones does make things go smoother.
May 10th, 2007 at 9:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 0d04f66cc84d2
I heard about this website from a co-worker of mine and I had to believe it to see it. For your information I am one of the top engineeres For Lockheed Martin Tatical Defense Systems….and infact most are women. So when it was said the women suck at computer I resent that.
AND…
If god chose man to have ALL the power why are there women?? Without us there wouldnt be you! You guys need to stop your crying and bitching about women and actually do something with your lives. Most of you are still probably living at home in your parents basement and have nothing better to do.
And by the way I believe this is your little fantasy world…In the real world, which is outside of your “Parents basement” this doesnt happen.
May 10th, 2007 at 9:28 am - IP Man-Hash: c46011aeb3b2a
No you’re not. If you were an engineer, you would have followed the simple instructions for this web site. NO WOMEN ALLOWED.
Typical female argument. Don’t use any actual reason, just make emotional ad hominem attacks.
Woman, get back to work, bring some coffee for the predominantly male engineers who do most of the work in your company, and stay off this site.
May 10th, 2007 at 10:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 6ec6c2ab6784a
A truely original and informative femessay.
Not… cunt.
And I resent your existance. Correct it for me.
May 10th, 2007 at 11:22 am - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
I hope the top engineer actually knows how to spell his job.
-Dick
May 10th, 2007 at 11:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Well, perhaps she is the ‘Chief Percolated C. arabica Distribution Engineer’ for Lockheed Martin Tatical Defense Systems.
I guess her specialty is in the latest java preparation technologies.
July 28th, 2007 at 1:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: ad75a60239238
TSK!
July 28th, 2007 at 1:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: ad75a60239238
la di da
July 28th, 2007 at 1:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: ad75a60239238
who’s side do you think I’m on?
July 28th, 2007 at 1:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: ad75a60239238
this site is amazing, like looking at the human race through a fucked up telescope manufactured by David Lynch..a trip man how do you guys do your lives like this? I am interested in the same way I am interested in the many forms of plankton that exist, in a detached way gettit? (probably not lol) I t would def not work for me I could not be this angry all day! LOL
July 28th, 2007 at 2:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2559f72d0fa8d
How about that stupid? Can you stand being a whore all day?
And the angry part - your vagina pass doesn’t work here, or anywhere else for that matter, so I’m going to call you out on it. You seem to think that you are better than us. Why can we not think the same of you? Are you trying to control how we think?
And gurls say they wouldn’t vote for Hitler.
October 4th, 2007 at 3:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 506a83f4ff558
Question???????? What would happen if women were non-existent!!!!!! Where would yall ignorant asses be then??? hunh or would yall reproduce with each other (Adam and Adam)
October 4th, 2007 at 4:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Aren’t you just dying to know… Too much gay porn for you.
- Gusto - Disco’s Revenge (Original Remastered)
October 4th, 2007 at 5:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
Notice her reply goes back to the only thing women can fall back on. Screwing. Something unfortunately their not even that good at.
October 4th, 2007 at 5:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: b6ba5a45dd6bd
Notice also that she fails to realize that wihtout men babies would not be born either. Self centered feminist.
November 22nd, 2007 at 7:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 80d616380ce3a
Your an ideot!
im a 13 year old girl.
you dont know shit.
if you dont like women, crawl into a hole and die :D
November 22nd, 2007 at 7:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 80d616380ce3a
im better at computers then you will ever be.
go die!
December 1st, 2007 at 8:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
maybe because we want to go into an interesting profession where we don’t sit in front of a computer all day
maybe we want to do something with our lives, such as making a difference, not some website that is dedicated to being a horrible human being
March 2nd, 2008 at 1:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2e156e431b91f
“Computer Science Takes Steps to Bring Women to the Fold”
Don’t you fucking dare!
March 2nd, 2008 at 1:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 673b8295d0ef7
As long as the women know what they’re doing it’s all okay.
You see where I’m going with that don’t you?
March 2nd, 2008 at 2:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8b7da5576e6e9
Wow, you are one of the few people I have met that somehow manages to radiate stupidity. Congratulations.
Oh, Dick IS making a difference. You are just too thick to realize it.
As for dedication, I suggest you read the page. Menarebetterthanwomen.com, not Iamahorribleperson.com.
See, that was not so hard, was it? It was? Oh, that just supports m assumption.
April 12th, 2008 at 12:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 09b607c8c4b90
Well, for starters, we -wouldn’t- be swimming in a sea of lost and abused punctuation marks.