Women Still Suck At Computers
Women are leaving the profession of computing in record numbers. A recent study shows the percentage of women in engineering is down from 38% to 28% since 1985. I guess that’s why we call them “engineers” and not “politicians”. With no women around, they actually get things done.
Women suck at computers because they can’t evolve with technology and they don’t know a USB port from a hole in the ground, which they also don’t know from their ass.
I was just riding the elevator up to my flat with an elderly woman. I’m a gentleman so I held the door open for her despite the reeking aroma of rancid butterscotch and prunes. She reeked of it, not me. I always smell like a man: a hint of cedar, a dash of class, and a double douse of sexy, sweaty money. That’s class you can choke on.
The moment the old woman got in, her hand jabbed the “Close Doors” button like it was my wallet and she was about 50 years younger and about seven-cups sizes more statutory.
“Gross,” I thought.
Then she held onto the “Close Doors” button until long after the elevator started moving.
“Interesting choice,” I thought. “Everyone knows that button doesn’t fucking work.”
Women are the amoebas of technological sophistication. They can’t and will never evolve for shit.
Men, on the other hand, are constantly changing. We adapt to new things and also reproduce asexually with computers. I guess that makes us like amoebas of technology as well, but in a different way.
My point is, women keep on hammering the space bar when the Caps Lock key is what they’re looking for. They hit the “Log onto Myspace and Send Slutty Messages to My Ex-Boyfriends” button when what they should have done was taken two Advils and gone the fuck to bed. In twenty years, women will be looking for a place to plug their computer into the wall when plugs don’t even exist anymore.
Amoebas won’t have evolved in that time either.
I guess we’ll be using some kind of eco-fuel at that point instead of wall plugs. Like you’ll pour brandy into your computer.
Jesus, that is the manliest computer I have ever heard of. I just invented it here. I call it the Dick Masterson Masterbox.
I asked the woman on the elevator if she was getting off on the 3rd floor or in 1935. I don’t think she understood what I was talking about. Menopause will do that.
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June 25th, 2008 at 3:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e
Are you a martial artist too?
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*
June 25th, 2008 at 3:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a
*snicker*
June 25th, 2008 at 3:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5f3a30b88dc6
Of course not, ding-bat. In light of the fact that you, by your own admission, appear to be a misanthrope, I was thinking you might make a good match for another of your kind. However, he does have strong homicidal tendencies, so it may be good if you were a martial artist if he breaks out the carving knife he claims he owns, if you piss him off. Just trying to be helpful.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e
*palm heel strike to chin*
June 25th, 2008 at 3:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e
Oh, how I find your “insults” so amusing.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5f3a30b88dc6
I’ve seen no attempt on your part. You’re a woman–that explains it–no creative ability whatsoever. Oh, you are so Compelling and Attractive as a person *cough*.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 436d0cc2678d2
*slowly whispers and echoing ‘Fuck You!’ and fades away*
Troll.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a
*rape, disembowel and dump by the road side*
June 25th, 2008 at 3:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a
We hear that at least ten times a day. By the way, no manhole is telling you the truth.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e
Well, it’s not like I would really expect anything from you either.
After all, you’re of the same gender as George W. Bush, aren’t you?
June 25th, 2008 at 3:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e
*pulls out swiss army knife and carves ‘fuck you, shitbag’ into your fat ass*
June 25th, 2008 at 3:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e
Oh, I’m still alive.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e
*waits for bola to come up with yet another stupid comeback*
June 25th, 2008 at 3:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e
Meh.
I guess I’ll have to find another pathetic website for amusement.
Humans are so… interesting.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a
That must be painful.
June 25th, 2008 at 4:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a
*can’t be bothered, goes watch some porn in stead*
June 25th, 2008 at 4:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a
One of the reasons I like the ‘walking with dinosaurs’ series so much is the illusion that you’ve gone back to a time when there weren’t any humans around. Just a bunch of little monsters and a few big ones chasing each other around. Dangerous, but mostly in a straightforward manner.
June 25th, 2008 at 4:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 01d9f5a931b2e
I tinkin’ she’s one of dem’ spaaaace aliens here on assignment from planet gynocpus.
June 25th, 2008 at 4:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 436d0cc2678d2
*puts muddy boot up your clamidia-infested cunt and kicks the fuck off your ugly deformed face*
June 25th, 2008 at 8:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: 70ac301a1d66a
Just because you know how to boot up Windoze Vista doesn’t make you a computer genius, regardless of gender.
*
Vista…Windows ME II?
Is that THE BEST INSULT you can throw at us?
Cmon, with Fedora, Ubuntu and Unix and the ability to play around with Windows 7, WTF would anyone be serious about Vista? It was only supposed to be around 18 months and despite the Technet hype, it sucks so bad Win XP is being supported till 2014 and more people are wiping Vista for XP or dual booting.
And when you somehow figure out how to change your desktop image, you’re no Steve Jobs.
*
Actually Steve Jobs has a lot of money invested in MicroShaft and Billy has $$$ in Apple
BTW, why are more women dropping out of the IT field?
Why are fewer women designing software packages or even video games?
Why have companies spent MILLIONS of dollars to get women interested in engineering and technology only to have women abandon it for the easier jobs?
Deathslayer