Women Still Suck At Computers
Women are leaving the profession of computing in record numbers. A recent study shows the percentage of women in engineering is down from 38% to 28% since 1985. I guess that’s why we call them “engineers” and not “politicians”. With no women around, they actually get things done.
Women suck at computers because they can’t evolve with technology and they don’t know a USB port from a hole in the ground, which they also don’t know from their ass.
I was just riding the elevator up to my flat with an elderly woman. I’m a gentleman so I held the door open for her despite the reeking aroma of rancid butterscotch and prunes. She reeked of it, not me. I always smell like a man: a hint of cedar, a dash of class, and a double douse of sexy, sweaty money. That’s class you can choke on.
The moment the old woman got in, her hand jabbed the “Close Doors” button like it was my wallet and she was about 50 years younger and about seven-cups sizes more statutory.
“Gross,” I thought.
Then she held onto the “Close Doors” button until long after the elevator started moving.
“Interesting choice,” I thought. “Everyone knows that button doesn’t fucking work.”
Women are the amoebas of technological sophistication. They can’t and will never evolve for shit.
Men, on the other hand, are constantly changing. We adapt to new things and also reproduce asexually with computers. I guess that makes us like amoebas of technology as well, but in a different way.
My point is, women keep on hammering the space bar when the Caps Lock key is what they’re looking for. They hit the “Log onto Myspace and Send Slutty Messages to My Ex-Boyfriends” button when what they should have done was taken two Advils and gone the fuck to bed. In twenty years, women will be looking for a place to plug their computer into the wall when plugs don’t even exist anymore.
Amoebas won’t have evolved in that time either.
I guess we’ll be using some kind of eco-fuel at that point instead of wall plugs. Like you’ll pour brandy into your computer.
Jesus, that is the manliest computer I have ever heard of. I just invented it here. I call it the Dick Masterson Masterbox.
I asked the woman on the elevator if she was getting off on the 3rd floor or in 1935. I don’t think she understood what I was talking about. Menopause will do that.
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April 19th, 2007 at 4:48 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fa8b220332f
Hacking is the Uber cool.
April 19th, 2007 at 5:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 72656b1cb9ba4
honestly, im a girl, and i have to say that yes, there are women who know NOTHING about anything. And it pains me to say this but they DO give a bad name for the 20% of us that actually know what were doing. Damn you women who know nothing.
April 19th, 2007 at 5:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8d87604c92686
More like 0.1%
April 19th, 2007 at 7:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: ec6857e1b2c56
Most men don’t mind that women know nothing if only they wouldn’t pretend that they do..
April 19th, 2007 at 11:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4cb907dd79990
And yet they mind that men know everything and so pretend that they atleast know something.
April 20th, 2007 at 7:59 am - IP Man-Hash: 9438f68e1c745
100% agree. In my engineering class there are 2 women for 11 students, both got thirds and barely passed last year - only managed because men helped them out.
I long for the days of the all-male lecture theatre, when the lecturer could comfortably make “sexist” jokes and get away with it because everyone in the room agrees…
April 20th, 2007 at 8:07 am - IP Man-Hash: 5e32b3f9ccec1
Yeah, good luck on that one. We’ll all be living in a feminist, Stalinist hell-hole long before then.
April 20th, 2007 at 8:19 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fa8b220332f
Haha well said.
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 49df220e3ab24
wow this site is really trashy
May 2nd, 2007 at 6:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: c3e5e9c9492ea
That’s because everything just looks trashy to you. The kingdom of heaven would look - this is hypothetical, why not go all out - to you, trashy because you just have too much cum in your eyes. Of course, I’m not sure you could see it from hell. Not that I’m a deeply religious person, at least not towards one religion or the other, but I know a lot of goody-good Sunday Christians who think that having one’s head up one’s ass compensates for having a dick up your ass.
May 2nd, 2007 at 7:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 677142741ed2e
Is that ass lodged dick metaphorial or literal?
May 3rd, 2007 at 5:27 am - IP Man-Hash: c3e5e9c9492ea
Both - you know, the girls who go to church with the short skirts and sun dresses.
May 9th, 2007 at 3:42 am - IP Man-Hash: cf13656aadb33
this site is aload of bollocks i bet a woman is writing this stuff for you.
May 9th, 2007 at 3:44 am - IP Man-Hash: cf13656aadb33
hiya gemma and sara
May 9th, 2007 at 3:45 am - IP Man-Hash: cf13656aadb33
hiya tash and rhian! xx
May 9th, 2007 at 3:47 am - IP Man-Hash: cf13656aadb33
hiya charl and kirsti how u doin? xx
May 9th, 2007 at 3:48 am - IP Man-Hash: cf13656aadb33
charl and kirsti how u doin? xx
May 9th, 2007 at 4:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Once again we see the reason why women are forbidden from this site.
May 9th, 2007 at 5:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 760a91233a652
Fuck off, you stuck-up cunt. You need to just crawl back into your little fantasy world and not come out until the sores come back. Yeah, bleeder, you aren’t welcome here. The world isn’t your little sandbox because you aren’t Jesus Christ.
And you might notice, God chose a man to have all that power because a girl would not be able to survive 40 days in the desert. I mean, look at how rickity the average slut’s knees are now.
And with the devil on her back? Well, let’s just say the average “woman’s” lifestyle would not have strengthened her, but rather made her - wouldn’t ya know it - submissive and weak because nothing short of the will of God himself could give a woman the power of a man-mind - and God, in all his wisdom, would just make a man instead.
Wow, logic as opposed to hormones does make things go smoother.
May 10th, 2007 at 9:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 0d04f66cc84d2
I heard about this website from a co-worker of mine and I had to believe it to see it. For your information I am one of the top engineeres For Lockheed Martin Tatical Defense Systems….and infact most are women. So when it was said the women suck at computer I resent that.
AND…
If god chose man to have ALL the power why are there women?? Without us there wouldnt be you! You guys need to stop your crying and bitching about women and actually do something with your lives. Most of you are still probably living at home in your parents basement and have nothing better to do.
And by the way I believe this is your little fantasy world…In the real world, which is outside of your “Parents basement” this doesnt happen.