Women Still Suck At Computers
Women are leaving the profession of computing in record numbers. A recent study shows the percentage of women in engineering is down from 38% to 28% since 1985. I guess that’s why we call them “engineers” and not “politicians”. With no women around, they actually get things done.
Women suck at computers because they can’t evolve with technology and they don’t know a USB port from a hole in the ground, which they also don’t know from their ass.
I was just riding the elevator up to my flat with an elderly woman. I’m a gentleman so I held the door open for her despite the reeking aroma of rancid butterscotch and prunes. She reeked of it, not me. I always smell like a man: a hint of cedar, a dash of class, and a double douse of sexy, sweaty money. That’s class you can choke on.
The moment the old woman got in, her hand jabbed the “Close Doors” button like it was my wallet and she was about 50 years younger and about seven-cups sizes more statutory.
“Gross,” I thought.
Then she held onto the “Close Doors” button until long after the elevator started moving.
“Interesting choice,” I thought. “Everyone knows that button doesn’t fucking work.”
Women are the amoebas of technological sophistication. They can’t and will never evolve for shit.
Men, on the other hand, are constantly changing. We adapt to new things and also reproduce asexually with computers. I guess that makes us like amoebas of technology as well, but in a different way.
My point is, women keep on hammering the space bar when the Caps Lock key is what they’re looking for. They hit the “Log onto Myspace and Send Slutty Messages to My Ex-Boyfriends” button when what they should have done was taken two Advils and gone the fuck to bed. In twenty years, women will be looking for a place to plug their computer into the wall when plugs don’t even exist anymore.
Amoebas won’t have evolved in that time either.
I guess we’ll be using some kind of eco-fuel at that point instead of wall plugs. Like you’ll pour brandy into your computer.
Jesus, that is the manliest computer I have ever heard of. I just invented it here. I call it the Dick Masterson Masterbox.
I asked the woman on the elevator if she was getting off on the 3rd floor or in 1935. I don’t think she understood what I was talking about. Menopause will do that.
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April 18th, 2007 at 6:22 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
That statement stirred up a question in my mind; why do they call it menopause? Is it because at that point women are of absolutely no use to men, therefore men stop coming around?
But then it shouldn’t be any wonder as to why the men go the other way. Who would want to put up with her hot-flashes and all her other womanly menopausal bullshit when she can no longer even bear you a child?
April 18th, 2007 at 8:56 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fa8b220332f
Didnt understand the point of your story Dicky boy.
April 18th, 2007 at 9:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 139b502a327ba
Gold. Just watch a woman when she is impatiently waiting for the elevator door to close. Every one of them will press that fucking button over and over again.
April 18th, 2007 at 1:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Huh? You don’t swing the doors open and closed by hand?
Such a depraved narcissistic society you people live in!
April 18th, 2007 at 1:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 139b502a327ba
Why do you think we’re all obese?
April 18th, 2007 at 2:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Naturally women fail at CS.
Computer science required you be able to emulate computing machine logic (there’s that funny word again) in your head, not simulate human thought patterns.
April 18th, 2007 at 6:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: ec6857e1b2c56
If a woman can’t get a degree and sit pretending to be boss then they can’t move into that profession. Women are realizing that work is required in some fields. They will avoid work like a plague.
What they want is a high paying job doing nothing while pretending to know something.
April 18th, 2007 at 6:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: a828f6908c021
Right on, Billy. I guess that is why they’re dropping out of the medical profession at alarming rates even after spending ridiculous amounts of time studying for their MD (or whatever).
April 18th, 2007 at 8:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: d5d5e81288fb6
Sounds like they all want to be Senators..
April 18th, 2007 at 8:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: ec6857e1b2c56
The old adage still applies; Women dont know what they want.
They are always wanting but just don’t know what they really want.
Must be sad to live with such a void between the ears.
April 18th, 2007 at 11:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0393e6d40aa57
From the article:
I guess that says it.
-wolfe
April 19th, 2007 at 12:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Hooking into the game engine is ground for VAC banning…