Women Still Suck At Computers

Women are leaving the profession of computing in record numbers. A recent study shows the percentage of women in engineering is down from 38% to 28% since 1985. I guess that’s why we call them “engineers” and not “politicians”. With no women around, they actually get things done.

Women suck at computers because they can’t evolve with technology and they don’t know a USB port from a hole in the ground, which they also don’t know from their ass.

I was just riding the elevator up to my flat with an elderly woman. I’m a gentleman so I held the door open for her despite the reeking aroma of rancid butterscotch and prunes. She reeked of it, not me. I always smell like a man: a hint of cedar, a dash of class, and a double douse of sexy, sweaty money. That’s class you can choke on.

The moment the old woman got in, her hand jabbed the “Close Doors” button like it was my wallet and she was about 50 years younger and about seven-cups sizes more statutory.

“Gross,” I thought.

Then she held onto the “Close Doors” button until long after the elevator started moving.

“Interesting choice,” I thought. “Everyone knows that button doesn’t fucking work.”

Women are the amoebas of technological sophistication. They can’t and will never evolve for shit.

Men, on the other hand, are constantly changing. We adapt to new things and also reproduce asexually with computers. I guess that makes us like amoebas of technology as well, but in a different way.

My point is, women keep on hammering the space bar when the Caps Lock key is what they’re looking for. They hit the “Log onto Myspace and Send Slutty Messages to My Ex-Boyfriends” button when what they should have done was taken two Advils and gone the fuck to bed. In twenty years, women will be looking for a place to plug their computer into the wall when plugs don’t even exist anymore.

Amoebas won’t have evolved in that time either.

I guess we’ll be using some kind of eco-fuel at that point instead of wall plugs. Like you’ll pour brandy into your computer.

Jesus, that is the manliest computer I have ever heard of. I just invented it here. I call it the Dick Masterson Masterbox.

I asked the woman on the elevator if she was getting off on the 3rd floor or in 1935. I don’t think she understood what I was talking about. Menopause will do that.

28% is 28% too many.

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97 Comments in 89 threads.»

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Comment by Chuck Canoodles
2008-09-29 08:08:50 - IP Man-Hash: c3307d818912a

I think that women know more about computers than they get credit for. After all the inappropriate behavior in the work place typically comes from them generally from under the desk beaver shots or using the computer to get even with a guy when a date didn’t go well. Guys usually forget a bad date, but women have to make everyone pay!!

 
Comment by Ashley
2008-08-27 17:13:12 - IP Man-Hash: e96e7790eab25

I’m a woman and I’m an A+ Certified PC Technician. I work for a large company and I’m pursuing a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science. I already have an Associates. I’m 21. Just wanted to let you know. :-D

Comment by Ben
2008-08-27 23:52:08 - IP Man-Hash: b41b10383f0bf

What a moron this author is. How can you just assume women “suck at computers?”. Nice job, grouping them all together, as if they were all the same. Shows just how uninelligent you are. By the way, you have no proof of anything. Women are JUST as good as men are, if not even better. I hate bastards like you, putting women down.

 
Comment by Put a Thong on and Dance
2008-09-27 12:14:25 - IP Man-Hash: 4da170ec49565

Then you fall in the 28% that remain in the industry. Congrats.

Comment by kalel
2008-09-27 13:05:27 - IP Man-Hash: 8af82d5f29d8f

You women need to go to colleges and memorize years upon years about computers and you still don’t understand shit, you just memorize things but you’ll never understand how Man creations work and everything is invented by Men so you’re wasting your time and more important you’re wasting governemnts moneys when those moneys should go to Men because only Men have the intelligence to invent something, women are fucking inferior leech insects,fucking maggots.

 
 
Comment by Michael Elser
2008-09-29 07:54:39 - IP Man-Hash: c3307d818912a

Just wanted to let you know that a brain dead retard can get a A+ certfication and that has no bearing on why women suct at computers!!

 
 
Comment by Bill Gates
2008-08-04 03:34:28 - IP Man-Hash: 7cf6238e106cc

Try this: when you are at work, stop by the Software Dev Department and count the number of females 1%. Then stop by HR and the front desk, count how many 100%.

Why is there such a large difference; what is it about software, math and logic that women dislike?

Comment by Hans
2008-08-04 06:35:25 - IP Man-Hash: f1a1c3a520cf3

It exists, but not in their minds. It´s an endless clusterfuck of unicorns, kittens and Fabios in there.

Comment by Sam
2008-08-11 19:53:49 - IP Man-Hash: 0943400676e70

Unicorns, kittens, and Fabios? -sigh-

Unicorns are merely mythological creatures, in the minds of small girls.

Kittens are…they’re just baby cats. Nothing special about them, and most other girls prefer dogs, anyway.

Fabios….-shakes head- This part is, unfortunately, prone to pop up in the heads of most of those of my gender, much to the embarrassment of those of us who don’t spend all of our time thinking about shopping, small animals, or the latest scandal.

My point is that there are a rare bunch of us who actually think. I’m not claiming to be one, either, but my mind is rather void of thoughts of the above mentioned, much to the disgust of every female in all of my classes at school.

 
 
Comment by John_Petrucci
2008-09-27 15:32:11 - IP Man-Hash: 05de0fd3c213a

lol, BILL!!! Holy cum bucket! lol XD

 
Comment by Hannibal
2008-09-27 15:38:39 - IP Man-Hash: 526cdafe5eb4c

I’m a software engineer myself and while I’m pretty good at what I do, I know some women that could kick my ass when it comes to computers. Yeah, HR has mostly women, but then where I work, the director of HR is a man. Then when it comes to the Finance department, it’s about equal with the director being a woman. I work for the city so now that I think about it, we’ve got some pretty awesome women in a lot of areas. Fire, Police, Library and Recreation, there’s amazing women all over the board.

 
 
Comment by Deathslayer
2008-06-25 20:20:28 - IP Man-Hash: 70ac301a1d66a

Just because you know how to boot up Windoze Vista doesn’t make you a computer genius, regardless of gender.
*
Vista…Windows ME II?

Is that THE BEST INSULT you can throw at us?

Cmon, with Fedora, Ubuntu and Unix and the ability to play around with Windows 7, WTF would anyone be serious about Vista? It was only supposed to be around 18 months and despite the Technet hype, it sucks so bad Win XP is being supported till 2014 and more people are wiping Vista for XP or dual booting.

And when you somehow figure out how to change your desktop image, you’re no Steve Jobs.
*
Actually Steve Jobs has a lot of money invested in MicroShaft and Billy has $$$ in Apple

BTW, why are more women dropping out of the IT field?
Why are fewer women designing software packages or even video games?
Why have companies spent MILLIONS of dollars to get women interested in engineering and technology only to have women abandon it for the easier jobs?

Deathslayer

 
Comment by dbossnirvana
2008-06-25 16:28:50 - IP Man-Hash: 436d0cc2678d2

GIR said:

dbossnirvana said:

GIR said:

bola said:

GIR said:
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*

*snicker*

*palm heel strike to chin*

*slowly whispers and echoing ‘Fuck You!’ and fades away*

Troll.

*pulls out swiss army knife and carves ‘fuck you, shitbag’ into your fat ass*

*puts muddy boot up your clamidia-infested cunt and kicks the fuck off your ugly deformed face*

 
Comment by no manhole
2008-06-25 16:18:23 - IP Man-Hash: 01d9f5a931b2e

bola said:

GIR said:

Humans are so… interesting.

One of the reasons I like the ‘walking with dinosaurs’ series so much is the illusion that you’ve gone back to a time when there weren’t any humans around. Just a bunch of little monsters and a few big ones chasing each other around. Dangerous, but mostly in a straightforward manner.

I tinkin’ she’s one of dem’ spaaaace aliens here on assignment from planet gynocpus.

 
Comment by bola
2008-06-25 16:14:10 - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a

GIR said:

Humans are so… interesting.

One of the reasons I like the ‘walking with dinosaurs’ series so much is the illusion that you’ve gone back to a time when there weren’t any humans around. Just a bunch of little monsters and a few big ones chasing each other around. Dangerous, but mostly in a straightforward manner.

 
Comment by bola
2008-06-25 16:06:01 - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a

GIR said:

GIR said:

bola said:

GIR said:

bola said:

GIR said:
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*

*snicker*

*palm heel strike to chin*

*rape, disembowel and dump by the road side*

Oh, I’m still alive.

*waits for bola to come up with yet another stupid comeback*

*can’t be bothered, goes watch some porn in stead*

 
Comment by bola
2008-06-25 15:54:11 - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a

GIR said:

bola said:

GIR said:

bola said:

GIR said:
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*

*snicker*

*palm heel strike to chin*

*rape, disembowel and dump by the road side*

Oh, I’m still alive.

That must be painful.

 
Comment by GIR
2008-06-25 15:43:42 - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e

bola said:

GIR said:

no manhole said:

Of course not, ding-bat. In light of the fact that you, by your own admission, appear to be a misanthrope, I was thinking you might make a good match for another of your kind. However, he does have strong homicidal tendencies, so it may be good if you were a martial artist if he breaks out the carving knife he claims he owns, if you piss him off. Just trying to be helpful.

Oh, how I find your “insults” so amusing.

We hear that at least ten times a day. By the way, no manhole is telling you the truth.

Meh.
I guess I’ll have to find another pathetic website for amusement.

Humans are so… interesting.

 
Comment by GIR
2008-06-25 15:40:06 - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e

GIR said:

bola said:

GIR said:

bola said:

GIR said:
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*

*snicker*

*palm heel strike to chin*

*rape, disembowel and dump by the road side*

Oh, I’m still alive.

*waits for bola to come up with yet another stupid comeback*

 
Comment by GIR
2008-06-25 15:39:13 - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e

bola said:

GIR said:

bola said:

GIR said:
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*

*snicker*

*palm heel strike to chin*

*rape, disembowel and dump by the road side*

Oh, I’m still alive.

 
Comment by GIR
2008-06-25 15:38:08 - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e

dbossnirvana said:

GIR said:

bola said:

GIR said:
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*

*snicker*

*palm heel strike to chin*

*slowly whispers and echoing ‘Fuck You!’ and fades away*

Troll.

*pulls out swiss army knife and carves ‘fuck you, shitbag’ into your fat ass*

 
Comment by GIR
2008-06-25 15:36:14 - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e

no manhole said:

GIR said:

no manhole said:

GIR said:

no manhole said:

GIR said:

I must admit, I am of the female gender, and I hate women. But I hate men too. In my opinion, everyone is a dumbass and I have no interest in social relationships.

I believe we have a match for Commander Scott. If the date doesn’t go well, though, “GIR”, I suggest you run like hell if you want to live.

Are you a martial artist too?
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*

Of course not, ding-bat. In light of the fact that you, by your own admission, appear to be a misanthrope, I was thinking you might make a good match for another of your kind. However, he does have strong homicidal tendencies, so it may be good if you were a martial artist if he breaks out the carving knife he claims he owns, if you piss him off. Just trying to be helpful.

Oh, how I find your “insults” so amusing.

I’ve seen no attempt on your part. You’re a woman–that explains it–no creative ability whatsoever. Oh, you are so Compelling and Attractive as a person *cough*.

Well, it’s not like I would really expect anything from you either.
After all, you’re of the same gender as George W. Bush, aren’t you?

 
Comment by bola
2008-06-25 15:35:20 - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a

GIR said:

no manhole said:

Of course not, ding-bat. In light of the fact that you, by your own admission, appear to be a misanthrope, I was thinking you might make a good match for another of your kind. However, he does have strong homicidal tendencies, so it may be good if you were a martial artist if he breaks out the carving knife he claims he owns, if you piss him off. Just trying to be helpful.

Oh, how I find your “insults” so amusing.

We hear that at least ten times a day. By the way, no manhole is telling you the truth.

 
Comment by bola
2008-06-25 15:32:55 - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a

GIR said:

bola said:

GIR said:
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*

*snicker*

*palm heel strike to chin*

*rape, disembowel and dump by the road side*

 
Comment by dbossnirvana
2008-06-25 15:27:29 - IP Man-Hash: 436d0cc2678d2

GIR said:

bola said:

GIR said:
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*

*snicker*

*palm heel strike to chin*

*slowly whispers and echoing ‘Fuck You!’ and fades away*

Troll.

 
Comment by no manhole
2008-06-25 15:26:46 - IP Man-Hash: a5f3a30b88dc6

GIR said:

no manhole said:

GIR said:

no manhole said:

GIR said:

I must admit, I am of the female gender, and I hate women. But I hate men too. In my opinion, everyone is a dumbass and I have no interest in social relationships.

I believe we have a match for Commander Scott. If the date doesn’t go well, though, “GIR”, I suggest you run like hell if you want to live.

Are you a martial artist too?
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*

Of course not, ding-bat. In light of the fact that you, by your own admission, appear to be a misanthrope, I was thinking you might make a good match for another of your kind. However, he does have strong homicidal tendencies, so it may be good if you were a martial artist if he breaks out the carving knife he claims he owns, if you piss him off. Just trying to be helpful.

Oh, how I find your “insults” so amusing.

I’ve seen no attempt on your part. You’re a woman–that explains it–no creative ability whatsoever. Oh, you are so Compelling and Attractive as a person *cough*.

 
Comment by GIR
2008-06-25 15:23:57 - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e

no manhole said:

GIR said:

no manhole said:

GIR said:

I must admit, I am of the female gender, and I hate women. But I hate men too. In my opinion, everyone is a dumbass and I have no interest in social relationships.

I believe we have a match for Commander Scott. If the date doesn’t go well, though, “GIR”, I suggest you run like hell if you want to live.

Are you a martial artist too?
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*

Of course not, ding-bat. In light of the fact that you, by your own admission, appear to be a misanthrope, I was thinking you might make a good match for another of your kind. However, he does have strong homicidal tendencies, so it may be good if you were a martial artist if he breaks out the carving knife he claims he owns, if you piss him off. Just trying to be helpful.

Oh, how I find your “insults” so amusing.

 
Comment by GIR
2008-06-25 15:21:42 - IP Man-Hash: 11a2899c7d50e

bola said:

GIR said:
Oh, this could get very interesting.
*smirk*

*snicker*

*palm heel strike to chin*

 
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