Knight to Pawn Four. Check and Bullshit.
Wherever there is a league of sports, there is a separate and exclusive women’s league to weep in its shadow. That’s because a man playing against a woman in any sport is like Superman playing against a team of cacti wearing funny, oversized sunglasses.
It’s cute and hilarious.
Man has proven his physical prowess for millions of years — even when it was completely unnecessary to do so. Actually, in the end that turned out to be the proof. All you men know what I’m talking about there.
However, what if it wasn’t just our mighty strength that kept women hopelessly tethered to the Earth while we men soared above like gods in our awe-inspiring spectacles of sport? What if was also because women aren’t as smart as men? That is to say, because men are smarter than women.
Certainly that makes sense to us men, but unlike women, we would also like a side order of proof with our meal. Let’s think for a moment. If only women had their own league and championship for a sport that was entirely mental, like chess.
They do.
Woah, wait a minute. They do? Can someone please flag down the Obvious Express delivery truck? I think the delivery man forget a box of clues in the back addressed to women world-wide.
I thought this women’s chess championship might be some kind of publicity stunt — like last year when that one woman “played” golf in the men’s league and Nike milked their biggest cash cow to date: female empowerment. Completely masculine kudos to those brilliant men at Nike marketing by the way because that’s one ripe motherfucking cow.
I discovered, however, that it wasn’t a joke at all. Disappointingly, it also wasn’t a bunch of models playing chess in lingerie. That’s when I decided that any further research was a waste of my invaluable time.
Women’s leagues of anything are like midgets following men around dressed up exactly like them. They look the same, but come on. What are you serious here?
Related Articles:
June 21st, 2005 at 3:37 am - IP Man-Hash: b9ccf0bcef0c9
No Nicole, you’re missing the point.
It’s not about Africans being superior to Caucasians at some particular activity.
It’s about all men being superior to all women at all activities.
Thus, it doesn’t matter whether a man is African or Caucasian or a Solomon Islander, he’ll be superior to all women be they Caucasian or Arabic or Patagonian.
It’s so simple, even a woman could almost understand it.
June 21st, 2005 at 6:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 272b77d9ce10f
Reading this website has lowered my IQ…almost to a man’s level…and that’s dangerously low…. -shakes head sadly-
June 21st, 2005 at 11:04 am - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Evil, you’re absolutely right of course. It’s so simple that a woman could almost understand it.
What we’re really witnessing here is female filibustering in action.
Nicole won’t stop, ever. Historically that’s how woman have always gotten what they wanted. By whining and complaining non-stop until the world became so unlivable that some man tossed them a bone.
-Dick
June 21st, 2005 at 11:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 26390a6c57528
Whereas blokes have got their way using their physical advantages (being naturally stronger physically, and not being lumbered up for 9 months then breast feeding) to oppress women. Whining is a more honest way at least.
June 21st, 2005 at 2:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: c9adc407188f8
Yes how exactly have men got their own way Dick?
By setting up sexist websites for women to get mad at and for men to laugh at?
Yeah because that’s different form whining……
June 21st, 2005 at 2:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3bd4f26c23ffa
Dear Dick
Is all this, what you think, applicable to your mother too or is that in a separate compartment?
PS poker is NOT a sport, it is a game.
June 21st, 2005 at 8:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: b9ccf0bcef0c9
Dick, you’re absolutely right about women using their endless whining and filibustering to get their way.
Exactly as you predicted, Nicole has returned with more whining, after completely failing to comprehend our unassailable manly logic.
Indeed, women are so predictable that their mental functions could be replaced in their entirety by a handful of transistors.
June 22nd, 2005 at 1:00 am - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
You know Evil, I’ve always thought a woman’s thought patterns are like a Magic 8 Ball that doesn’t actually have a fortune telling, floating die inside.
Every once in a while, you get some bubbles (probably by accidentally dropping it or shaking the shit out of it), but otherwise you just sit and stare at it until you start to see things in the black goop that aren’t actually there and will never be.
-Dick
June 22nd, 2005 at 11:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 7098936dc14b3
I’d love to see what’s in your head then, perhaps a moth flying around?
June 26th, 2005 at 10:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 57b6629edc01b
I’m sorry, did Dick say something about men needing proof? I’ve yet to come across any hard proof to many of the claims on this site. Dick, you’re not being very convincing. . .
June 27th, 2005 at 2:40 am - IP Man-Hash: d24500e30f094
I must say, also, that if you men seem to know you’re so superior and all the rest, it’s rather strange that you need to spell it out to yourself, and to reassure yourself. Points out insecurities more than confidence to me…
June 27th, 2005 at 8:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 868f03654397f
# Chris Says:
June 6th, 2005 at 12:09 pm
Well quite, a GOOD man tennis player. Riggs was shite.
(ps it’s insisted not insited, and even that’s spelt with a ‘c’. Trust us, we’d know.)
–Ever heard of a typo? An easy mistake to make!
(P.S. - It’s “P.S” not “ps”)
June 27th, 2005 at 9:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 868f03654397f
The fact that there are more male than female sporting “achievements” may well be fantastic evidence for your claim, Dick, that “men are better than women.”
However, when you read into it a little more, and take it another step back, it actually proves the opposite point.
I’m talking about one very simple question. In fact, this question is so short, I think even you might be able to understand it without having to call someone in to translate it into man grunts. The question is simply: why?
Because whilst men have been running around smelling of sweat, women have been thinking, and making other great achievements.
Or, women have been keeping men - and the human population - alive! All those things such as food, necessary to live…guess who was preparing it? Well, as great (*rolls eyes*) as men may be, they’re still unable to cook dinner whilst running around on a rugby field getting muddy!
Besides, how does sport actually help us? What sort of achievement is it really? How has it helped humankind, in any way at all?
November 15th, 2005 at 12:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cd2590b1e67
If you can’t join or beat them, talk trash about them.
Way to go, woman. Completely pointless post.
November 15th, 2005 at 7:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 38e8ac82e7edf
Megz,
if you have to ask the question “why?” then you will not understand the answer. That is the standard reply amongst Harley Davidson riding entusiasts when they ask the question “what is it about Harleys that you love so much?”.
You may as well be asking why people breathe, look, touch, taste, feel… and then wounder why people roll their eyes at you. Methinks you need to excercise some of that world famous ‘womans intuition’ as well as flick the switch on that ‘thinking’ that women do soooo well and come up with an answer. Hint… its so obvious a 5 yr old boy could answer it. Another hint, if you know any five yr old boys you might want to ask one.
To all the other serious posters… get an idea. This site is a spoof. Sure it get silly often enuff… THAT IS THE POINT. It deliberately does so as a way of turning the mirror back onto womens behaviour and particularly feminasty behaviour and rhetoric in order to illustrate INHERENT ABSURDITY. If you agree that this place is absurd you are in effect making a rather telling endictment of your own position.
l find it wounderfully priceless that anyone can take this site so seriously as to actually deconstruct and argue the rather terse teasing of women exhibited in the articles. And the personal jibes and 3 rate pop-psych analysis and projected attribution of the motivations and psyche of men who post here. Talk about hold up a reflection of yourselves ladies.
Think about it ladies… afterall you are responsible for all the thinking in the world. Anyway, that enuff from me… between the moths and gnats buzzing about the vacuous vortex that is the male cerebral cavity, lm getting an empty headed ache.
November 15th, 2005 at 11:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 957564b4aff6d
IronY,
I love to see the feminist methods turned against them. This site is very nicely done. If I take the site and the posts too seriously, it is because I suffer from taking everything too literally. Really, though, it’s the truth that is often inherent in humor that I would imagine people are taking seriously.
November 16th, 2005 at 2:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3ccee85ff7d8c
Live in your little dreamworld girls, it’s all you have left that has not been exposed for the liars you all are.
Continual intervention from the likes of you two just demonstrates how close to the truth we really are.
And what response do we get from these two genii is ” it’s just not true”.
We are telling you it’s a fact.
November 16th, 2005 at 11:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 957564b4aff6d
Are you including me in your response, Christian J? Because if so, I’m confused. I said that it was the inherent truth in this site that people were reacting to.
January 14th, 2006 at 6:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: cbc856ab3c6ed
Here are two links to articles that you men (and ladies) on this website might find interesting:
http://archives.lincolndailynews.com/2003/Apr/03/News_new/business.sht ml
http://archives.lincolndailynews.com/2003/Apr/10/News_new/business.sht ml
January 15th, 2006 at 2:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 71fb5a34fbb53
All we have is a few exceptions and degrading of men’s obvious superiority in the field by blaming it on the so-called female repression, and this is the bullshit that lincolndailynews expects us to buy:
By the way, why wouldn’t any lady face the actual challenge of the post and come up with an applausible answer as to why men and women have seperate leagues in chess where all you need is mental ability, other than it is aimed at concealing the fact that women suck at chess.