Women suck at computers

Computers are all over the place: the bank, the sciences, the workplace — in other words, places where women are not. Is this a coincidence? You bet your ass that no it isn’t.

Women face countless problems in their pipe-dream of equality. The biggest being that the whole notion is childish and only realistic to an insane person or someone who has never had a job.

Women also suck at computers.

It’s the same way that men suck at being happy when their best friend gets dumped and then has to rely on them for emotional support. That just doesn’t make the kind of sense to us.

Computers are that way for women.

You see, women don’t understand computers because they don’t understand the basics of cause and effect — that the one causes the other. It’s childlike in its simplicity, I know, but it’s absolutely true.

This backwards mentality applies to computers just as easily as it applies to every other aspect of a woman’s life, which she is right about to hopelessly fuck up yet again by doing the exact same thing and expecting it somehow to magically work this time.

I saw this in action just yesterday while waiting in line for an ATM at the bank. For some absurd reason, a woman had been put in charge of her own finances and had promptly lost her ATM card in the machine. She started frantically pressing buttons, expecting that at any moment something profoundly contrary to what had happened was about to happen. Guess what. It didn’t.

What I’m saying here is that men are better than women because every time a man drops a rock in to a ditch, he knows it’s going to fall. Women think that if they do it enough, it will turn into a Snicker’s bar.

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478 Responses to “Women suck at computers”

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  1. doubt Says:

    manhole said:

    [TL;DR]

    Why don’t manholes use vibrators?
    It chips their teeth.
    ***
    What do you call 5000 dead manholes at the bottom of the ocean?
    A good start!
    ***
    How can you tell when a manhole is lying?
    Her lips are moving.
    ***
    How do you save five drowning manholes?
    Who cares?
    ***
    What do you call a block of cement containing ten manholes?
    A waste of cement.
    ***
    How do you stop a manhole from drowning?
    Shoot her before she hits the water.
    ***
    How do you get a manhole out of a tree?
    Cut the rope.
    ***
    What do you do if you run over a manhole?
    Make another notch on the steering wheel.
    ***
    What’s the difference between a manhole and a bucket of shit?
    The bucket.
    ***
    What is the definition of a shame (as in “that’s a shame”)?
    When a bus load of cheerleaders goes off a cliff.
    ***
    What is the definition of a “crying shame”?
    There was an empty seat.
    ***
    What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a manhole should?
    Stick her bill up her ass.

    Feminism is fascism.
    http://salmonofdoubt.110mb.com/wutafaggot.txt

  2. Arbalest Says:

    blah said:

    what do you do for a living Arbalest?

    lol..how utterly hypercritical…& as if ‘he’ has any logic…

    to post up replies like: i hope you die…is an early sign of sevre mental problems….him and anybody else who answers my LOGICAL explanations on this hysterical website by stating threats like that belong in a hospital…

    infact…to post up anything that is sexist or offensive in any way towards the victims targeted on this site (women)…belong in a hospital…& it’s for their own good…i know alot of guys that believe this site is total bullshit….but i have met so many other men that agree with the so far-fetched its actually laughable statements dick has made on irrevelant topics…on this site…

    what on earth has this world come to if some men are so thick they have to rely on one big ring-leader of injustice and nastiness for support to gang-up on innocent women who haven’t done any harm….

    besides dick: the allagations you make are false and not fairly tested…because you dont know every woman in the world personally so you cannot make statements like that…it is not scientifically correct or LOGICAL…at all

    typical americans for you lol…

    u can bet that the majority of men on this website are uneducated, unemployed, unsocial losers….

    everybody knows that…
    including a lot of GUY friends i have…

    bye for now friends…

    Kiddo, with that many spelling errors and such a childish attitude you expect us to pay attention? Using intelligence on you would be akin to killing a fly with a shotgun. Hah, even the americans you look down on would run rings around you in logic. Go read a book or something, you’re notihng more then ironic entertainment for us. Wait, seeing how you have problems understanding english I’ll go slow for you: lol liek u noob gtfo n r3d!112111!!!!1

  3. blah Says:

    duh…i told you i was a good entertainer…exept…let me point out a spelling error you made: line 5: notihng (nothing)

    actually some of the best authors and poets were never good spellers…Lauren Child for example…
    & spelling honestly has nothing to do with logic and intelligence…
    i tend to focus on the more important subjects…

    by the way i read alot…& write…in fact i’ve just finished a book…i dont intend to publish it… just look back on it and maybe read it sometime when I have the time…i love english…& sorry but i’m afriad i don’t like to listen to americans as half the time they dont know what they’re talking about….not even fucking George Bush

    lol you may think i’m amusing to you…but you have no idea how utterly stupid you make yourself look on this..i wouldn’t be so judgemental Arbalest….i’d rather make a few spelling mistakes in a comment than make a huge mistake in my life…turning to dick…how desperate are you…? lol :P

    see Arbalest; the reason why i know you’re so weird is because you are an obese single unemployed american…think about it…

    just plain americans are ignorant bone-heads…

    you’re of course single unless you go out with some little old asian….full-on muslim or prostitute….because no quality woman would ever want to be seen with a male-chouvanist…

    you are unemployed…no man who has a job would spend day in day out on a waste of time this site is when they have work to do…besides you didn’t even answer my question when i asked what you did for a living in my previous comment….

    & you’re obese because according to what i’ve observed through this…is that you must spend a lot of time on the computer and most americans are fat-slobs anyway…

    i understand life as an obese unemplyed single american must be tough…so i won’t take that against you…i just laugh at your pathetic life behind your back…as i am chuckling to myself as im writing this now….

    as i said before…i couldn’t care less what you say…i KNOW i am a quality, educated, social, powerful woman….& i am so proud to be a woman…you can try as hard as you want to put me down…but i think i’m old enough to not become a target of bullying….yes i do hate discriminatry bastards like yourself…..but because under your circumstances and considering i am caring and dont like to bully others…i wont say no more…

    take care Arbalest…

  4. blah Says:

    ok so maybe that was a bit over-emotional…

    i couldn’t give a fuck about your life anyway…that is..if you have one

    i dont give a shit about this site…you seem to fail to realise i find all of this laughable and i take this with a grain of salt…its not really dick i find funny…its seeing the reactions after comments disagreeing with your opinions that i think should be showed off by the chasers war.. or atleast as a comedy show…..fully-grown men…acting so childish like how ‘girl germs’ were in year 2…

    for christ’s sake…get a grip..and a life…and grow-up…who cares if you reckon women suck shit…? why tell the world…what are they going to do about it…? if all women were killed then naturally all the men would die out too…its women who keep the world alive and running…

    the only reason you men write comments is because you know you have back-up…you are useless and cowardly….you basically just want to see otehr men agreeing with you and feeling pleasure out of being accepted….

    obviously you must have been troubled children…i do not know any man who would want to go on this web-site in the first place…it just bewilders me…it doesn’t make much sense

    well what can i say….there are so many drunken retards in this world its NOT funny…

    but what is and will be funny is reading the replies back from this comment and answering them with a giant grin across my face…yes: you are like stoned hobo’s…totally hopeless but so entertaining…

    keep up the replies guys….

    bye for now..
    blah

  5. no manhole Says:

    Would someone explain to me why women are far more likely then men to not capitalize and use reasonably correct punctuation in sentences? Missing spelling makes sense to me b/c that requires some knowledge about how a word is spelled, and it can take some time to find the correct spelling, but capitalization and punctuation should be obvious to do. Is it laziness?

  6. Lynn Says:

    I think it’s an age thing, actually. We’re now in a time where some of the primary forms of communication are emails and text messages, which lends itself to substituting rapid communication (stream of consiousness) over thoughtful communication. Punctuation and grammar take time to implement properly, and by golly, we just don’t have time for that nonsense anymore. Screw editing.

    Which is also why I hate texting. I refuse to do it on principle.

    At least blah didn’t use that weird alpha-numerical spelling.

  7. no manhole Says:

    Lynn said:

    I think it’s an age thing, actually. We’re now in a time where some of the primary forms of communication are emails and text messages, which lends itself to substituting rapid communication (stream of consiousness) over thoughtful communication. Punctuation and grammar take time to implement properly, and by golly, we just don’t have time for that nonsense anymore. Screw editing.

    Which is also why I hate texting. I refuse to do it on principle.

    At least blah didn’t use that weird alpha-numerical spelling.

    Makes sense. I dont have a text messager, I dont even have a cell phone. But I dont walk with a cane–at least yet.

  8. Lynn Says:

    no manhole said:

    Makes sense. I dont have a text messager, I dont even have a cell phone. But I dont walk with a cane–at least yet.

    Funny you should say that. I screwed up my knee last night, no clue how. I could use a cane right now.

  9. no manhole Says:

    Lynn said:

    no manhole said:

    Makes sense. I dont have a text messager, I dont even have a cell phone. But I dont walk with a cane–at least yet.

    Funny you should say that. I screwed up my knee last night, no clue how. I could use a cane right now.

    I used to own two wheel chairs and have races down the street with my buddies; Kick-ass fun. But I guess this digression must end; however, if you have boys, consider giving them matching wheel chairs for Christmas. You can get them cheap at the Salvation Army. I have a feeling Commander Scott would have not done this as a child. Hail America!

  10. Arbalest Says:

    no manhole said:

    Would someone explain to me why women are far more likely then men to not capitalize and use reasonably correct punctuation in sentences? Missing spelling makes sense to me b/c that requires some knowledge about how a word is spelled, and it can take some time to find the correct spelling, but capitalization and punctuation should be obvious to do. Is it laziness?

    I haev to say it’s laziness, most browsers come with spellcheckers now adays that underline mispelled words for you. Besides, if you can spell a word use another one, it’s that easy.

  11. Arbalest Says:

    blah said:

    duh..

    Wow. You actually believe all that too. It’ld be cute if it didn’t deserve so much pity. It must hurt being unable to see yourself isn’t it?

  12. blah Says:

    wtf lol
    as if i care what a bunch of obese unemployed single americans think about a few mispelt words…
    you guys seriously go way over the top…laziness?

    oh i get it…the new definition for laziness is: Mispelling some words….
    i always thought laziness would describe people like you…sitting at a computer all day typing away when you could be outside having fun

    well i guess you learn something new everyday….

    & Arbalest you spelt ‘have’ wrong…its have not haev…

    although that brings me to another thing:

    a professor at cambridge university said it doesn’t matter in what order a word is spelt…as long as the first and last letter of the word remains the same you can pretty much understand what’s being said…

    i haven’t got the phrase with all written words swapped around…but basically what I’m saying is, is that spelling will not determine your future in knowledge and it certainly has nothing to do with laziness…

    you guys are so weird lol

    but i understand that spelling is the only fault you can find in my comments because everything else i say is correct….you focus on spelling so you sound like you’re on the upper hand….unfortunately it doesn’t work…

    i still think i rule and you suck…
    lol
    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    u should get yourselves checked…you all have serious issues…

    cya
    blah

  13. blah Says:

    i am extremely proud of myslef and my abilities….
    i bet none of you will ever match up to my talents or succeed in what i do…
    your jealous..it’s plain jealousy….

    otherwise you would be laughing and not behaving so offensively and abrupt…

    Arbalest you haven’t even told me what you do for a living…

    but i guess you ca say anything on the computer…which makes every single comment you or dick has ever written utterly pointless…

    except for mine of course…because i only speak of the truth….especially when it’s sticking up for something i am proud of…

    i still reckon this site is hilerious though..:P

    just look on the bright side of things and make sure you teach your children…(if you ever have any)…to not get sucked into any religion that is sexist or get easily influenced by certain ‘hero’s’…you people are caught in a whirlwind or utter delusion about yourselves and women…

    its unhealthy and it’s caused you to become brain-washed assholes…
    but that’s your loss…
    so i don’t really care…
    even though i can see it from here and YOU’RE unable to see yourselves…

  14. Arbalest Says:

    Speaking your mind! Because repeatedly coming back is the best way to show you don’t care!

  15. blah Says:

    nah i care about you and your poor life…

    not this site…

    as i sed before i only go on here to see the replies…cuz its funny
    so i suggest to show that you think i am a complete waste of time…
    dont answer my comments

    and i wont come back..
    i’l be happy to leave

    thanx…
    blah

  16. Arbalest Says:

    Well that was typical.

  17. Man hater Says:

    Keep on going Blah, I think these guys are so stupid that they would not understand what you are trying to say anyways.

    Guys get a hobby, go fly model airplanes or something and while you’re it aim one for your heads.

  18. Muzalon Says:

    blah said:

    i am extremely proud of myslef and my abilities….
    i bet none of you will ever match up to my talents or succeed in what i do…
    your jealous..it’s plain jealousy….

    otherwise you would be laughing and not behaving so offensively and abrupt…

    Arbalest you haven’t even told me what you do for a living…

    but i guess you ca say anything on the computer…which makes every single comment you or dick has ever written utterly pointless…

    except for mine of course…because i only speak of the truth….especially when it’s sticking up for something i am proud of…

    i still reckon this site is hilerious though..:P

    just look on the bright side of things and make sure you teach your children…(if you ever have any)…to not get sucked into any religion that is sexist or get easily influenced by certain ‘hero’s’…you people are caught in a whirlwind or utter delusion about yourselves and women…

    its unhealthy and it’s caused you to become brain-washed assholes…
    but that’s your loss…
    so i don’t really care…
    even though i can see it from here and YOU’RE unable to see yourselves…

    ‘hilerious’
    ‘its’
    ‘i’

    You, highly educated? Pull the other one, you illiterate trailer-park fucktard.

  19. BobbyDigital Says:

    blah said:

    what do you do for a living Arbalest?

    lol..how utterly hypercritical…& as if ‘he’ has any logic…

    to post up replies like: i hope you die…is an early sign of sevre mental problems….him and anybody else who answers my LOGICAL explanations on this hysterical website by stating threats like that belong in a hospital…

    infact…to post up anything that is sexist or offensive in any way towards the victims targeted on this site (women)…belong in a hospital…& it’s for their own good…i know alot of guys that believe this site is total bullshit….but i have met so many other men that agree with the so far-fetched its actually laughable statements dick has made on irrevelant topics…on this site…

    what on earth has this world come to if some men are so thick they have to rely on one big ring-leader of injustice and nastiness for support to gang-up on innocent women who haven’t done any harm….

    besides dick: the allagations you make are false and not fairly tested…because you dont know every woman in the world personally so you cannot make statements like that…it is not scientifically correct or LOGICAL…at all

    typical americans for you lol…

    u can bet that the majority of men on this website are uneducated, unemployed, unsocial losers….

    everybody knows that…
    including a lot of GUY friends i have…

    bye for now friends…

    You fail not only at the internets, but at humor. Die in a fire.

  20. frizzlefry Says:

    blah said:

    what do you do for a living Arbalest?

    lol..how utterly hypercritical…& as if ‘he’ has any logic…

    to post up replies like: i hope you die…is an early sign of sevre mental problems….him and anybody else who answers my LOGICAL explanations on this hysterical website by stating threats like that belong in a hospital…

    infact…to post up anything that is sexist or offensive in any way towards the victims targeted on this site (women)…belong in a hospital…& it’s for their own good…i know alot of guys that believe this site is total bullshit….but i have met so many other men that agree with the so far-fetched its actually laughable statements dick has made on irrevelant topics…on this site…

    what on earth has this world come to if some men are so thick they have to rely on one big ring-leader of injustice and nastiness for support to gang-up on innocent women who haven’t done any harm….

    besides dick: the allagations you make are false and not fairly tested…because you dont know every woman in the world personally so you cannot make statements like that…it is not scientifically correct or LOGICAL…at all

    typical americans for you lol…

    u can bet that the majority of men on this website are uneducated, unemployed, unsocial losers….

    everybody knows that…
    including a lot of GUY friends i have…

    bye for now friends…

    AHAHAHAHA way to play the victim card. feminists=predictable. i can garuntee you that the women he’s is targeting aren’t innocent have definetly done some wrong. nice try using words with more than two syllables, most women can’t pull this off, although it’s an obvious attempt for you to try and look more intellectual instead of using them to emphasise your “point”

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