Women suck at computers
Computers are all over the place: the bank, the sciences, the workplace — in other words, places where women are not. Is this a coincidence? You bet your ass that no it isn’t.
Women face countless problems in their pipe-dream of equality. The biggest being that the whole notion is childish and only realistic to an insane person or someone who has never had a job.
Women also suck at computers.
It’s the same way that men suck at being happy when their best friend gets dumped and then has to rely on them for emotional support. That just doesn’t make the kind of sense to us.
Computers are that way for women.
You see, women don’t understand computers because they don’t understand the basics of cause and effect — that the one causes the other. It’s childlike in its simplicity, I know, but it’s absolutely true.
This backwards mentality applies to computers just as easily as it applies to every other aspect of a woman’s life, which she is right about to hopelessly fuck up yet again by doing the exact same thing and expecting it somehow to magically work this time.
I saw this in action just yesterday while waiting in line for an ATM at the bank. For some absurd reason, a woman had been put in charge of her own finances and had promptly lost her ATM card in the machine. She started frantically pressing buttons, expecting that at any moment something profoundly contrary to what had happened was about to happen. Guess what. It didn’t.
What I’m saying here is that men are better than women because every time a man drops a rock in to a ditch, he knows it’s going to fall. Women think that if they do it enough, it will turn into a Snicker’s bar.
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Dear smrtpants,
Have you looked at the complete code-tree of your beloved macs?
Yeah. Thought not.
I actually have looked through the code-tree for OpenBSD. Theo de Raadt is a bit of an ass, but he really knows what he is doing. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs have different priorities. Fair enough. But security is a priority for neither of them. Steve Jobs wants profit before all else, and Bill Gates wants market share before all else.
As for the “the [soul of a new] machine”, if you’re referring to Tracy Kidder’s book, good for you. If you’re not, well, buzz off and, as Dick says, invest in phonics and some grade 6 computing instruction.
NB to idiot women: Tracy Kidder is a man. And a heck of a manly one with a name like that.
-wolfe
smrtpants, why don’t you invest in a good phonics book before jumping into computers.
-Dick
Yeah so but is it true all of these auto-protect, no-nonsense, worry-free, claims about MAC’s…?
Why do you prefer PC’s?
Good (reasonably up to date) macs are exorbitantly expensive. Reasonably up to date PCs are plain expensive.
I cordially advise you to go ask a man to build you one of the latter.
Doh! I just lost my post on account of my feline-like curiosity in your ‘these lines’ links! Doh!
[nice innards, btw]
To the best of my recollection my original post went something like this:
sonyad, you take defiance to a new level.
and don’t forget suspenders in your list of “the few feminine features they lack”; there’s nothing quite as sexy as suspenders on a man…or a woman.
getting back to ‘the [soul of a new] machine’, i now have to admit [as if you couldn't tell] that i’m not well-versed when it comes to cptrs and that it’s that business about MAC’s being ‘immune’ to virus’, etc. with regard to built in ‘anti-vi-grams’ and such - now is this true…and i can’t believe that i’m gonna say this, but can you ’set me straight’ on this front.
i didn’t say ‘fix my little red wagon’; please just impart some of that vast knowledge on me and have done with it.
please.
and thank you.
Though it does not preclude its quite enjoyable use by not only females though undoubtedly predominantly them, the macs are quite feminised little bits of hardware. In fact, it’s safe to say a little bow tie and cotton usb suppositories are among the few feminine features they lack.
Quite the opposite, a quintessential man’s machine is to be found among ibm comp. pcs and undoubtedly looks something along these lines.
I was wrong.
This admittance happened upon recognition that my predisposition to PC’s was soley, pretty much, due to the fact that the ‘industry’ software that I’ve used for the last 18+ years is only available for PC’s.
For this reason I simply never had enough exposure to MAC’s to wake up and smell the coffee.
For so long I have held the opinion that the only reason that men seemed to prefer MAC’s was because they were more visually oriented and didn’t require the user to know much about [in many non-programmer cases, self-taught] troubleshooting and program background ca-ca…but I have recently changed my tune - and hereby declare that Mac’s are, indeed, superior, regardless of the fact that in doing so I am siding with the numerous [male-numpties] who have ‘known’ this all along.
Those MAC’s are quite sexy too, now that I think of it.
Well, Gates is in a field where his condition is actually something of an asset. You don’t need to relate well to people in order to write software. In fact, some of the best software developers I’ve ever met have no social skills whatsoever.
Furthermore, if you don’t relate to people well, you’re not spending the time with relationships that people usually do. Gates spent that time on his business, proving once again that boatloads of hard work really is rewarded. Imagine if the time you spent with friends and family was spent on making money instead: that’s what Gates has done.
It also doesn’t hurt that Gates got into the computing industry at a key moment in history, when microtechnology was becoming advanced enough to be affordable to the average person. However, his hard work and dedication (and lack of encumbering, time-consuming relationship-building) was a key factor. How many companies born in the late-1970s and early-1980s that had arguably better technology didn’t survive?
Commodore, for example, had an extraordinary platform with the Amiga but lacked someone with Gates’ kind of drive and natural business sense.
really? i never knew that. he’s so smart and motivated and he gives all this money away to help people. genuinely, i believe, too. oprah, i think she gives her money away so she can be like ‘look at me, look at me!’ ew shes satan.
I’d like to meet him, too … but I’m not sure what I’d say to him. He apparently suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome (and extremely high-functioning form of autism), and neither of us probably relate all that well to people. I’d probably shake his hand and tell him I admire the work he’s done, and that would be that.
And I am a computer expert. That cookie company I mentioned? I provide IT support for a 700-person bakery that connects to the larger corporate network. Our site connects with six or seven similarly-sized bakeries and our much larger international parent company.
im no expert, but im more knowlegable than most when it comes to computers. i want to meet bill gates someday [:
Hmmm… so smrtpants may have been for real. Time will tell.
-wolfe
smrtpants,
I don’t think that they are disregarding you because of substandard intelligence, I think its because you don’t seem to understand that when you say something no matter how intelligible it may seem to you, it actually has to mean something to the respondee. Try thinking about what the other person has to deal with when they see your posts.
– Strength and Honor–
Understood. I will do just that, and thank you for taking the time to point out where I’m (repeatedly) going wrong - it’s not my objective to alienate myself and I am (pathetically/relatively) new to this form of communication…
As you can probably imagine I have similar, although not quite as hate-mongering, hurdles when carrying on conversations in ‘real life’ and all of this helps me in that respect as well. It’s not something new as I have ’struggled’ with this for as long as I can remember [and no, I don't have amnesia...at least that I can recall...].
The internet gives ‘loNers’ [mind the consonant] an opportunity to try their hand at interaction in a different arena, albeit even less inclusive (of expression/mannerism/gesture/etc.) than ‘real time’.
I know, blahblahblah, yawn, sigh, give it up, fuck off…but I won’t, and neither would you if you thought that eventually you could get it right - no matter how berated by the cavemen you ended up being - anything’s better than being disregarded from the get go because you’re [a bit*] unintellig-ible [not -ent].
[*facetiously sarcastic]
No, it doesn’t. But I do have a suggestion for you. Follow Dick’s advice and just GO AWAY!
Has anyone ever done a WP plugin that lets regular readers bury (and promote) comments? Or better yet automatically render comments from certain users invisible? Be a nice feature.
In fact, the best such feature would automatically keep a running tally of a user’s overall karma, and, for any user below, say, -50, none of their posts would appear unless the reader specifically requested them.
I should do some googling.
-wolfe
Go the fuck away.
-Dick
The best advice I can offer, smrtpants — and I’m not being facetious — is some level of self-education.
Reread your last several posts. The problem is that while they make make sense to you, inside your own head, they make no sense to anyone else. Lacking the context of your own mind and perspective, they just don’t make sense.
Remember that your reader doesn’t know what’s going on in your head and may approach your words with a radically different viewpoint than your own. If your words only make sense from a single perspective not shared by your reader, you won’t be communicating with them.
That’s the problem with a primarily written medium like the Internet. In order to be able to coherently participate, you need a fairly strong command of the English language coupled with an understanding of the medium’s limitations.
The medium doesn’t work well for shorthand or anything that requires the reader to make interpretations. You must be clear and coincise with your language, leaving as little room for interpretation as possible.
Your response to my response just doesn’t make any sense even/especially to a ‘moron’ like me…
…I’ve ‘cleaned up my act’ so to speak by adjusting that site accordingly, so what exactly is the problem, precisely?
Also, have made at least one comment [pertaining to another topic] not containing any ‘incoherent’ non-seq’s, etc.; what more can I do…besides go the fuck away, which I have no intention of doing.
smrtpants, you’re an incoherent moron. Go back to abusing whatever happens to be your substance of choice and stop randomly banging on your computer’s keys. Or if you must bang on them in your self-induced haze, open Notepad and do it there.
See, the problem with randomly banging the keys on a Web browser is that, just like the inifinite number of monkeys, you eventually hit apon a combination that causes your nonsense to be submitted to a web site. This has the net effect of causing those engaged in otherwise coherent conversation to stop dead in their tracks attempting to figure out just what in Ghu’s Purple Fingers you’re gibbering about.
So please stick to Notepad, for everyone’s sake.
If you were anything other than a gibbering, substance-abusing idiot, I’d suggest you download Notepad++ — as long as you’re going to bang randomly on the keyboard, you might as well do it with some style.
But then, you’re a gibbering, substance-abusing idiot, so there’s really no point.