Men Are Better Than Women…In Bed
Every time I piss a woman off by being especially profound, and every time I get a piece of hate mail, it starts with the same thing.
“Good luck getting laid, you gay jerk!”
Why is it that women never threaten to take away a meaningful relationship or a decent conversation? Or at least a conversation that doesn’t need a new type of punctuation invented to be properly transcribed.
Apparently, when I say all women are whores, I’m a “gay jerk”, but when women say it (or imply it in this case), they’re making the world a better place through name calling.
As I recall from my Women’s Studies classes at Bar University, being a jerk does not earn you a seat at the virgin table. Women treat assholes like rockstars and community college professors. They’ll do anything except show up on time and keep their mouths shut to get a piece.
Secondly, men are better at having sex with women than women are at having sex with men. Say that ten times fast — while you’re having sex.
If I don’t get laid, it’s the woman’s loss, not mine. It’s all women’s loss. What the fuck else are they going to talk about during Ladies Night? Their hopes and dreams? Isn’t that the same thing?
In order to determine which gender is the better cocksperson, we would need to ask some sort of half-man, half-woman bisexual type of creature — like something out of a Greek tragedy. Well call me Awesomecles because I have determined the answer exactly except without any of the gay sex.
Men fuck for our own benefits. Women fuck to please men. If women knew anything about economics, other than that they don’t understand them for shit, they would realize that the best way to do anything is selfishly.
The Old Man in the Sea wasn’t written to satisfy a contractual obligation or a quota. Neither was Cat Scratch Fever. And the pyramids weren’t built for the fuck of it.
Remember that movie where Sean Connery says “You’re the man now dog”. The point of that movie is that greatness comes from a desire to please yourself. And that includes sex.
Bill Gates is one selfish motherfucker. He has an unquenchable thirst for philanthropy. He’s so fucking selfish that he’s thrown away billions of dollars just to satisfy this insane lust for giving.
All men fuck like we’re Bill Gates.
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October 11th, 2007 at 6:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
Oh ho ho, my poor digital nose. What else can you do but throw your names and insults at me? NOTHING. Abuse me again please I think my pixels can take it.
October 11th, 2007 at 6:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
Awed I could have come up with more. Like how someone who scored so high on their spelling test mispelled discrimination.
October 11th, 2007 at 6:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
Hmm, yeah you could’ve. :)
October 11th, 2007 at 6:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2e9b52f9da52f
Oh, no, you’ve tried to use your pretty little cock-mongler, head I mean, for thinking again. No, no, no. It’s for smearing whore-paint on, or for staring into those hollow little eyes while you remind yourself how you aren’t a whore. Perhaps you feel you’re indebted by the opposite sex, perhaps you feel like you are a God for having a bloated crotch and a hole in your face (an educated theory Marc Lépine disproved, I believe), but nonetheless, you are most certainly not destined to be an independent person.
I was just reminding you of your physical inferiority, by the way. Now run along, jailbait, it’s time for man-talk. I’m afraid that you are not manlier than any of the men in here, so regardless of your fantasies, we are going to have to ask you to leave.
October 11th, 2007 at 6:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
Hmm, well if you want me to leave so badly you obviously have some problems with self-esteem. I’d be glad to keep lowering it for you. Another way to get me out is to build a civilization consisting of only men. Bwahaha I wonder what strip clubs will be like. By the way, you talk like some arrogant fortune cookie.
October 11th, 2007 at 6:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
ok ok guys listen up. all u men out there where once inside a women (first and last time). Sooo women pretty much OWN u. dont be haten women.
sincerely and gangsta,
HOMiEC
October 11th, 2007 at 7:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
Yo u all should think (i mean use ur noggin’). Where would Jesus be without Mary. Where would african american people be without that hip lady on the bus. where would u be without CHO MUTHA!!
ohhh dis extra spicy.
sincerely and spicy,
HOMiEC
October 11th, 2007 at 7:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
I am awed sista yooo
October 11th, 2007 at 7:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
Yep, as my sister just posted (same IP) some woman can be stupid and retarded. Ya.
October 11th, 2007 at 7:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7d06a1fc2c77f
Now was that you or Lyndsie?
October 11th, 2007 at 7:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
Good job Awed. Well pretend your not HOMiEC. Yes, we were once inside of women. Notice how we got out.
How does being able to incubate a fetus mean your worth anything? Exactly. Every whore on the face of the earth can do it.
October 11th, 2007 at 7:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
lol jk
sorry
October 11th, 2007 at 7:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
My sister, Christie. -_-
October 11th, 2007 at 7:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
Notice how prick-like and closed-minded this man sounds. Tsk tsk.
October 11th, 2007 at 7:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
If I’m trying to make a statment of how women are equal and just as smart as men, why ever would I pretend to be some stupid ass fake “gangsta.” My sister. Ba-da-bing!
October 11th, 2007 at 7:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
Sounds like your making up excuses for the superior sex catching you being a moron.
October 11th, 2007 at 7:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2e9b52f9da52f
Good luck explaining the whole ‘I got pregnant from a middle-aged married man’ thing to your father. You can always play the rape card - after all, you were drunk out of your brains. Never mind the fact that you didn’t really belong in a strip club in the first place and broke the law by drinking your fat li’l ass off.
Now run along, li’l jailbait. Finding a crowbar to pry your head out of your ass would be a good first step to having people tolerate you without exploiting your forever-pubescent body (premature sex is bad for those rickety malnourished bones, you know).
Run along, jailbait. You are spamming up the forums with your ’small penis’ comments. They aren’t funny, they are just tired and droll - like you without your precious double-standard.
October 11th, 2007 at 8:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2e9b52f9da52f
Yeah. It’s cute that you’re the rampant socialite who can get attention-starved cheerleaders and even your little sister to ’support’ you in your, like, circle of friends.
By the way, let me just clear something up for you. A friend is not someone who you talk about buying shoes with, or someone who you team up with to make out in bars and flirt with superficially-rich men. A friend is someone who will bail your miserable ass out of jail without expecting a piece of that ass.
Run along, little girl. You don’t have a penis, and I assure you that your puffy swollen twat does not really compare. Maybe you can compare it with your girlfriends, though. I know superficiality is all the rage with you spoiled, stupid teenage sluts these days.
Just know your place.
Now run along, sweet-tits, it’s time for man-talk so we are going to have to ask you to leave. We just find your small penis comments to be quite derogatory and hurtful, perhaps to the point that we want to ‘kill ourself.’ It stings all the more coming from someone who does not have a dick.
Doubt
October 11th, 2007 at 8:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
ummm at least i dont talk like a NERD
October 11th, 2007 at 8:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5cc308b16eca
so so run along little small dick.