Women Take Candy From Strangers
The number one way to get whatever you want out of a woman is to withhold attention.
Top Three Ways to Get What You Want From a Woman
3. Be Rich or Famous
2. Insult Her
1. Withhold Attention
Is she lipping off at the mouth? Withhold attention.
Is she a great big fat person? Withhold some attention.
Is she not putting out? Withhold that fucking attention!
Today, I have proof of the above other than just the barometer of my thermometer.
To those of you who are unlearned in the school of meteorology, a barometer is a device used to measure a change in pressure of the local atmosphere. This change is commonly used to detect impending rain. Here I have used it to indicate the “wetness” of my penis, a very clever joke and possibly a new all time great in the lexicon of sex euphemisms.
And I’ve done this before 9 AM. Like I’ve always said, “Men do more world changing before 9 AM than women do in their whole worthless lives.” I just proved it.
Women are four times more likely to give out personal information in exchange for candy. Throw “free candy” on the list.
An interesting study has revealed that 10% of men are willing to give out personal information to a random stranger in exchange for a chocolate bar, while a whopping 45% of women will do the same.
Yes, that’s right. Researchers used chocolate as an incentive. They also used entry into a “drawing for a free trip to Paris”, and other shit that sounds like such an obvious fucking scam my wallet is crawling out of my pants as we speak and creeping away with my money just in case I come down with a random bout of the Retard Flu.
The problem with women having money, jobs, or a say in anything, is not that they’re slightly more stupid than men. The problem with women is that at a much higher frequency than men, they will do something so catastrophically fucking dumb, it’ll take fifty men and a million dollars to put everything back on track — or one man and fifty million dollars. Just ask all the men and companies who’ve had to buy off trampy secretaries and other useless office eye-candy sluts who’ve pulled the “hostile workplace” card out of their bras like it’s money for their pimp.
The workplace is supposed to be hostile, you stupid cunts. Business is about taking money from other people. That’s as hostile as it gets.
10% of men will give out personal information for chocolate. So the fuck what? Without an imaginary gender who’s perfect, 10% is the benchmark for perfection. Men are perfect. There’s an old saying that goes, “If you’re in a glass house, don’t throw rocks at people.” What that means is that as long as a woman can maintain a career, but still drive four days with her parking brake on without knowing it, she can shut the fuck up.
Women are 4.5 times more likely to give out personal information for candy. Women are 4.5 times more likely to do something catastrophically fucking dumb.
Ever wonder why women are such obnoxious shrews when it comes to raising kids?
Wear a jacket!
Look both ways before you cross the street!
Don’t take candy from strangers!
It’s because they have to remind themselves of that same shit every day. Because they are too goddamn stupid to figure it out on the spot.
The moral of this story is, don’t hire women, don’t tell women sensitive information, and keep your fat daughter off MySpace. If girls would give out personal information for chocolate, imagine what they’d give out for a compliment.
Is it just me or does it seem like the only thing young girls like to do these days more than eat is dress like sluts and take pictures of themselves.
Read More About The Study
Read More About The Barometer
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hahahahah!!!!!!!
Dick,
I have a massive crush on you. You’re witty and hot!
As usual, you’re on the money. Several years ago, I had the misfortune of working in an office with a lot of women. They would look for every conceivable excuse to have parties, so they could stuff their fat faces with cake and potato chips. “Hey, everybody, Marge just had a bunion removed. Break out the Ho Hos!!”
That is my new favorite comment.
-Dick
Women are a tremendous piece of shit. I mean my ex-best friend was a fucking slut. She slept with one of my roommates while still dating with some other boyfriend. She was fully aware and half sober -enough to be self conscious. I admire my roommate for getting laid on a thursday evening while I was away for the week, that’s manly. Still, a box of chocolates does do wonders. Mixed with Vodka.
And a roofie.
My point is, women are fuckin pieces of shit made for men’s pleasure. Since they crave for attention (attention whores) they will do anything to get it. Even ruin friendships for a taste of “chocolate”.
Dick, you’re truly a manspiration to me, I can never respect women ever again. It’s a men’s world after all, we have no need for the weaker sex to interfere.
“The moral of this story is, don’t hire women, don’t tell women sensitive information, and keep your fat daughter off MySpace.”
So true but go ahead and leave your fat daughter on myspace. I go “hogging” once in awhile and myspace is prime realestate for that.
Here’s some competition for you: how to manipulate men.
What an amateur! A man who cannot even see through this one, deserves to be duped. By the way, you have my permission to break this trollop’s heart.
You see? I’m not all that bad, once you get to know me better.
@MATT . . . .
Hello!
SHE: “I don’t date”
YOU: “Excellent. Let’s fuck.”
Say that next time.
AND! –>> STOP thinking of a woman’s NO as a “rejection”. A woman who you never met before - who’s last name you don’t even know . . . DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU. Always remember that.
And as long as she does not “mean anything to you”
HER REJECTION WILL MEAN NOTHING TO YOU TOO.
You follow????
So it doesn’t matter WHAT she says after that - because YOU DON’T CARE. And when you don’t care . . . it will always be entertaining, fun, and even funny when women say no to you.
You should NEVER care about what a strange woman says - or thinks - unless SHE HERSELF has made some kind of effort to MAKE you care.
Cheers!
10% of men give out personal information in exchange for Chocolate….1 in 10 men are GAY. There is your 10%. And we all know Gay men are basically…WOMEN! So you see, MEN ARE PERFECT!
Hi Matt, welcome abroad
I also think Chris for ex is a great man and he knows a lot. Other guys ask him about the insight including me. Being a part of this site is definately going to prevent you from getting burned.
LOL. Very well put. You may be onto something Studioline! I was reading some of your other posts you seem to know a lot about womens mind games and misleading ways. I need to learn more of this to prevent getting burned in the future.
-Matt
that’s funny just ignore them and drag a candy bar behind you and they will just fallow you home mooooohhooooohahahahhaha!
That’s easy. That was her way of saying; I want to get fucked a.s.a.p. Dating is for low self esteem women. High self esteem women want to fuck not date.
Very insightful article. I’d like to understand the thought process of these “career women”. I have asked one of these types out and i was stunned when she said “I dont date”. I find that difficult to accept that as a rejection!!! Dick or anyone else please explain why these women say they dont date.
MABTW!!
4) what about your mother?
3) you must be gay
2) you never get laid
1) i think it’s hilarious, it really doesn’t bother me
“If girls would give out personal information for chocolate, imagine what they’d give out for a compliment.”
Yet another instantaneous classic.
Ahh just more genius from Dick… I can’t wait to read the comments from the women.
That’s it. I’m buying a beat up old van with a bed in the back and I’m driving around selling deep fried Twinkies and Snickers bars.
“What that means is that as long as a woman can maintain a career, but still drive four days with her parking break on without knowing it, she can shut the fuck up.”
HAHAHAHAHA… Holy fucking shit! That’s awesome. Genius, pure genius.