Women Want To Fuck Squid
Women are as adventurous with their culinary tastes as waiting in line for a ski lift — a ski lift that leads to the DMV.
Would the lady care for some calamari this evening?
Ew, gross! It’s squid!
How about some veal?
Ew, gross! I care more about baby cows than I do about the African children who mined these diamond earrings!
And everyone knows it.
Women hate to eat anything new. They hate to try anything new as well. That’s where the phrase “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” comes from. They’re talking about women.
Ever wonder why no one has invented a new sexual position in a thousand years? It’s because women won’t try them out and won’t pass them on. I’ve invented three myself, but they’ll die with me because the women I’ve tried them with said they were “stupid” and “uncomfortable”.
I’ll tell you what’s “stupid” and “uncomfortable”; going to a Married With Children Series Finale wrap party and have your date walk up to Griff saying, “Oh my god! You’re the cop aren’t you!”
No, honey. He’s just black.
Oysters, calamari, snails, and other gross delicacies are great appetizers precisely because they’re gross. Grossness is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Why do you think women are so in love with French men? It’s not because French men are romantic. They talk like they have marbles in their fucking mouths. Is the teacher from the Peanuts cartoons romantic? No.
French men are disgusting. And that makes them irresistible to women.
All the French get 200 Man Points for that. I don’t know what the conversion rate for Man Points is these days, but if I recall correctly, whoever belongs to the country currently at war gets the multiplier.
La guerre est masculin.
Aphrodisiac is a Greek word for something that kick-starts a woman’s dormant sexual desires to fuck a football team and lands them right in your lap. While you and I, as men, look at squid, oysters, and all creatures on Earth as food, women see everything as a sexual Rorschach. It’s how God made them.
Sea creatures, and by extension sea food, arouse women’s sexual fantasies. That’s why they won’t eat them.
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July 31st, 2007 at 1:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I wonder if Female’s bullshit can prevent foaming in gear oil.
- Iio - Be It (2007 Reconstruction MiX)
July 31st, 2007 at 2:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: c406e944e31e4
I’ve already got a PO Box. Thanks for reminding me to check it.
August 1st, 2007 at 12:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2c8448dad3d5f
Nah. Let her keep talking. I enjoy the back-and-forth.
Besides, it’s fun to watch her arguments get thinner and thinner as I scroll further and further down the page.
Same amount of pseudo-intellectual bullshit and five-dollar words, but less and less substance as the comments progress.
August 1st, 2007 at 6:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: c406e944e31e4
That’s right Der, my train arrived at the station, ‘couldn’t care less’.
August 3rd, 2007 at 11:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 2c8448dad3d5f
And my point is made.
August 6th, 2007 at 4:56 am - IP Man-Hash: c406e944e31e4
Hurrah!!11! for you *claps*
August 6th, 2007 at 5:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
Hmm, what’s this about sarcasm?
You all think you’re entitled to special treatment from people who don’t like you: Another reason why your type is not allowed on this site.
August 6th, 2007 at 6:49 am - IP Man-Hash: c406e944e31e4
No actually it is you that seems to think you are entitled to special treatment from women on this site just because there is a disclaimer. Why should any person, male or female who isn’t into discrimination, read the disrespect here against women (humourous or not, it’s underbelly is still disrespect) and then respect the disclaimer by simply not commenting and moving on. Get real.
If you weren’t so cowardly you wouldn’t mind women commenting here. Your constant calls for me to leave and other women to stay away just prove that you can’t handle criticism being returned.
August 6th, 2007 at 7:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
No, it’s not about cowardice, whore.
It boils down to this:
You believe that you are automatically welcome here because you have a vagina. The men’s room, a man’s club, etc, and not just that, but you should be treated better than the men there because you have a pussy. Yeah, we think it’s just adorable when you try to tinker with all the pretty shiny toys there, but when you drop a wrench in the gas tank ‘cus it would, like, be so cute… You’re wearing thin your already-absent welcome.
Not just that, you have the nerve to attempt to judge us as though you were some omnipotent whore-goddess. And then you act surprised when your bitter insults and unsupported opinions - ones which are boring and common enough already - carry no weight.
The truth rarely is fair and PC. Emo kids are not all unique, but rather the sell-outs they criticize. Most girls are naturally weak and submissive, a subtle trait which becomes physically and mentally exaggerated when embraced by the loving double-standard of society. And housewives are interchangeable as whores and as humans.
We want you to leave because you are dull and petty. All you do is troll from forum to forum spewing personal attacks and copy-and-pasting whatever empowerment you heard from house-keepers weekly.
We’re entitled to our own views, whore. If they bother you so much…
Stop backing the very stereotypes you claim are bigoted. Learn where you aren’t welcome - leave!
August 6th, 2007 at 7:13 am - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
Criticism? You mean you’re surprised that we, as stupid Neanderthals, dare to get annoyed at a precious little darling lady when she says your cocks, are, like, so small?
Oh, we’re horrified. And the anonymous death-threats? Wow, so these sluts are the result of empowerment.
Well, let’s see… guy or girl, you girls still have about half the muscle mass and are 6 inches shorter than your average man. As much as I hate to use my prejudiced deduction or awful 1st amendment, I find your death threats hardly substantial or impressive.
We really are cowardly, too. We aren’t the ones afraid to be seen outside without a gaggle, nor are we the ones who are unable to tell someone off without animosity or a few ‘friends’ backing you up.
Once again, your sex doesn’t matter. What counts is that we’ll judge you with logic and reason, a more than fair exchange for you judging us with emotions, insecurity, and social whims. We’re sorry if that hurts your widdle feelings, but then again, you need to grow the fuck up. And learn how to confront someone about any issues you may have and not have to get someone who wants to molest you to fight your battles for you. Gurl or not, that’s less than empowering or honorable.
August 6th, 2007 at 7:16 am - IP Man-Hash: c406e944e31e4
Hmmm, and when exactly can me and my kind look forward to you judging us with logic and reason?
August 6th, 2007 at 7:37 am - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
What kind of fucking question is that? Is anything that makes you look bad suddenly not factual?
There’s a trillion trillion trillion stars in the universe, whore. You and every materialistic sweet-16 slut aren’t suddenly the light of my life. Oh, sorry, lyfe, womyn.
August 6th, 2007 at 5:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: c406e944e31e4
Doubt, just because I’m not ignoring you, doesn’t mean that I have *special* feelings for you.
I asked the question because I’ve yet to see you demonstrate logic or reasoning in any of your rants about women yet. All I’ve seen is faulty, emotional thinking and ad-hominems. Now, try and give me a reply without using the word whore, or titties, or referring in any way to the female form.
August 6th, 2007 at 6:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
I don’t give a shit about your feelings for me. Whether you want to fuck me or not, I’m still not getting the feeling of a tit in my hand out of it. Because you sluts are always drawing attention to your bodies in a ‘oh, look at me, I have boobies’ fashion, of course that’s going to be dragged into the argument.
You are a hypocrite, and will receive no special treatment from me. In fact, I don’t give a shit about your race, income, friends, gender, clique, or social background. You will receive no bias in the eyes of the lord and sure-as-hell no bias from me.
August 6th, 2007 at 7:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
You mean like assuming someone is gay just because they don’t love gurlz so much they wish they were one of them? That’s not emotional thinking, but stating an argument that you cannot trump is?
And why is it that you try to coach me on how to live out my sex-life? I’m quite content with the way it is, and generally when people want help with such private matters, they will ask for it. If I were to advise you to suck your husband’s dick and shut the hell up, you would respond like the angry, bitter harpy you are. But suddenly you try to imitate social alienation as though the whims of our effeminate western society were right for a change.
August 6th, 2007 at 7:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: c406e944e31e4
Knew you couldn’t do it. It’s also funny but I’ve never once said look at my tits, although I have been asked by members on this site (and the site owner) to provide a picture of myself in a child’s size shirt. Hmmm.
I have never asked for special treatment and it’s perfectly obvious you are incapable of giving it. I’m also not interested in adolescents.
August 6th, 2007 at 7:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
It’s too fucking bad that you can’t make a fucking argument. You’re so eager to attack someone else’s - why the hell can’t you just make a point?
If I didn’t know about this whole double-standard bullshit, I’d say you were just trolling here under the guise of internet animosity to compensate for a vacant and dull life.
And another thing:
Your sisters send the message that you are all toys. Maybe you should use that kawaii sisterhood of yours to realize that if you look like a slut, you’ll be treated like a slut. And sluts aren’t exactly treated better than men.
August 6th, 2007 at 8:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: c406e944e31e4
I might say the exact thing of you. Obviously the points I do make, go straight over your head. So here is my point which hopefully will be easy enough for those of low IQ to understand.
You hate the fact that you cannot get a woman to like you. Amazingly enough, you seem to think that just by virtue of being born male, you are entitled to special treatment from women and you cannot understand why you just don’t get it* from them.
It* being respect or adoration or just casual sex. Here’s a hint. You are a rude asshole to them, you wouldn’t know how to treat a women with respect if your life depended on it and all you see them as are fuckbags.
Then, when you treat them like sluts, they think you’re an ass and make fun of you. You think this is a double standard because you think that if they dress like sluts, they must be sluts, and therefore if they are sluts, how come they don’t accept being treated like bags of meat. Most girls in their adolescence start dressing ‘tarty’, it’s called experimenting with their sexuality and is largely controlled by their hormones, much like you cannot stop watching pr0n. Does the fact that you watch pr0n mean that you are a sexual devient who will most likely go and molest anyone he sees? No, more likely you’ll just have less sex with women than a guy who doesn’t waste his desire on 2 dimensional images.
But back to my point, the reason you aren’t getting any, is because you do not treat women with respect, you treat them like utter shit based on the clothes they wear and the feelings of sexual frustration they bring up in you. Newsflash, that’s your fucking problem, not theirs and judging someone by the clothes they wear is ridiculous.
August 6th, 2007 at 8:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71d0be43b04c7
No, when I treat then with respect, they think I’m ‘weird’ and creepy, and make fun of me. When I treat them like the sluts, I get their little number, and the rest is history.
What makes you think that this is some perfect world where gurls don’t want to be treated the way they deserve to be.
‘Tarty.’ Hormones. Just excuses for being the genetic fuck-ups they are. I’m, like, experimenting with, like, Tarlesha here, but that like doesn’t make me a slut. I do it because I’m like succumbing to subtle social pressures, but I’m still totally unique for it so worship my pussy.
Little girl, allow me to state an obvious fact that has gone over your water-head. You waste your time here with insults and assumptions. There is about as much weight to that statement as there is to anything else a slut says.
Like, stop treating me like a piece of meat.
Then why the fuck do you use the guy who was nice to you, throwing him little scraps like an arm brush or some subtle bullshit like that, but then turn around and bang his best friend?
You know what, slut, even if I didn’t have any chance of getting pussy, I’d still be better off than you. You are in no position to judge someone - you don’t know how fucking stupid you sluts are.
You deserve to be beaten, slapped, punched, kicked, and thrown down stairs. Do you know why? Because you keep coming back for more - in the words of Carlos Mencia,
“You only fuck dicks.”
Somewhere deep within that thick skull of ad-hominems and hormones (HORMONES LIKE SO MAKE ME BUY GAP PUMPS) you know that you deserve to be treated like shit. And that’s why you get treated like shit.
August 6th, 2007 at 8:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 576202da90258
If he treated all women like fuckbags then he would be getting laid regularly. Women love to be treated like shit.