Women Want To Fuck Squid

Women are as adventurous with their culinary tastes as waiting in line for a ski lift — a ski lift that leads to the DMV.

Would the lady care for some calamari this evening?

Ew, gross! It’s squid!

How about some veal?

Ew, gross! I care more about baby cows than I do about the African children who mined these diamond earrings!

And everyone knows it.

Women hate to eat anything new. They hate to try anything new as well. That’s where the phrase “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” comes from. They’re talking about women.

Ever wonder why no one has invented a new sexual position in a thousand years? It’s because women won’t try them out and won’t pass them on. I’ve invented three myself, but they’ll die with me because the women I’ve tried them with said they were “stupid” and “uncomfortable”.

I’ll tell you what’s “stupid” and “uncomfortable”; going to a Married With Children Series Finale wrap party and have your date walk up to Griff saying, “Oh my god! You’re the cop aren’t you!”

No, honey. He’s just black.

Oysters, calamari, snails, and other gross delicacies are great appetizers precisely because they’re gross. Grossness is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Why do you think women are so in love with French men? It’s not because French men are romantic. They talk like they have marbles in their fucking mouths. Is the teacher from the Peanuts cartoons romantic? No.

French men are disgusting. And that makes them irresistible to women.

All the French get 200 Man Points for that. I don’t know what the conversion rate for Man Points is these days, but if I recall correctly, whoever belongs to the country currently at war gets the multiplier.

La guerre est masculin.

Aphrodisiac is a Greek word for something that kick-starts a woman’s dormant sexual desires to fuck a football team and lands them right in your lap. While you and I, as men, look at squid, oysters, and all creatures on Earth as food, women see everything as a sexual Rorschach. It’s how God made them.

Sea creatures, and by extension sea food, arouse women’s sexual fantasies. That’s why they won’t eat them.

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138 Comments in 133 threads.»

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Comment by Vagrath666
2008-09-29 16:54:33 - IP Man-Hash: 8a37b6454e781

I saw men fuck trees…

Comment by KT
2008-09-29 16:57:56 - IP Man-Hash: f05cebf08d167

I’m sorry, I’m balls deep in a sweet piece of ass right now, but I’ll get back to you on that fucking trees hullabaloo.

Comment by Vagrath666
2008-09-29 17:17:20 - IP Man-Hash: 8a37b6454e781

Naw. The f’ing pie thing got out of hand too….

I guess you cannot accept reality, or you are deeply repressed.

I know people who do these things, but of course when my cousin fucked my my size barbie, I didn’t really see it.

Comment by KT
2008-09-29 17:20:09 - IP Man-Hash: f05cebf08d167

I’m sorry, you want in? Too bad.

(Comments won't nest below this level)
Comment by Vagrath666
2008-09-29 17:33:43 - IP Man-Hash: 8a37b6454e781

Want in what?

 
 
 
 
 
Comment by Neco
2008-07-14 18:26:42 - IP Man-Hash: 5c3b752505bc0

These women just get more and more stupid as their comments go on…Its ridiculous and makes all women look even worse. I myself am a woman, and I agree 100% with everything Dick says, women are life drainers.
I myself am fighting against the natural instincts I have, and trying to pretty much bitch slap women everywhere to wake the hell up and stop being manipulative whores…Which of course will never happen, and as each generation passes they just get worse and worse..(ex. the girls in cali who are all under 16 that made a pact to get prego. By random people. Which I dont think is fair because the men who did it are now getting charges pressed on them, which is bullshit. Those girls should be given a forced abortion and should be sterilized.)
But I agree with the fish thing, except the smell of fish or anything else for that matter makes me throw up, lol. Hence, I refuse to eat it or try it. Like you said! =]
I think Ive rambled enough about random shit, so…Just saying..
Keep up the good work, dear Dick.
You are the only man brave enough to say the truth, and I and my Master applaud you.
Thank you Sir!

Comment by Jim
2008-07-27 16:50:59 - IP Man-Hash: 4b874af7b7581

Give it time, eventually there will be a swing, and women will be back where they were (if not worse off) before they could vote or earn the same wages as men. It’s the pendulum effect and though it may not happen in our lifetimes, it’s unavoidable. This site is proof enough. A few years ago, I thought women were goddesses and that all men were the bad ones. Then I did a thing I call, opening my fucking eyes. Men all over the place are doing the same. That’s how it works with us, we think and we come to realizations, and it spreads. I’m glad youv’e attempted to do the same, but drop the fucking smiley faces.

 
 
Comment by Kara
2008-04-23 20:58:08 - IP Man-Hash: 214fd1c1d2d21

It’s actually La guerre est masculinE.

 
Comment by Hilary
2007-12-20 15:29:56 - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c

Dick, do you sit their all day thinking about the most moronic thinhs to say?
We are aroused by sea animals and that is why we don’t eat them?
Some people do not like seafood and some do, their gender has nothing to do with it.
Seafood happens to be my favorite type of food, hmmm an exception.
I doubt there have been anyone in the world who has been aroused by seafood.

 
Comment by e v i l e d d y
2007-10-01 12:51:17 - IP Man-Hash: 9b7a2b3eaa486

NoneofYourFuckingBusiness said:

Damn you boys are idiots!! I mean women do not have rights… uh wake up and smell the roses, we do and you are probably a fat ass how sleeps all day which is why you dont know that. Stop being so selfish and get a life. I mean you seem to spend alot of time on here why dont you go out and get a girlfriend or boyfriend (depending on who you like). And women just keep on pointing out the facts of life.

FUCK OFF :P

I’d rather spend all day and all night on here than spend 1 nanosecond with a horrid female like you.

 
Comment by NoneofYourFuckingBusiness
2007-10-01 06:37:56 - IP Man-Hash: 0afede756a5c0

Damn you boys are idiots!! I mean women do not have rights… uh wake up and smell the roses, we do and you are probably a fat ass how sleeps all day which is why you dont know that. Stop being so selfish and get a life. I mean you seem to spend alot of time on here why dont you go out and get a girlfriend or boyfriend (depending on who you like). And women just keep on pointing out the facts of life.

FUCK OFF :P

 
Comment by wolfe
2007-08-24 23:22:41 - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017

Just a quick word aimed mostly at the women. Though SotS and Coderch may seem indistinguishable to some posting here, I’ve a lot of respect for SotS. He’s been in harm’s way, and gone through a lot of garbage, some caused by feminism.

No, I don’t agree with how he says what he says, and I disagree with at least half of what he says. But he’s more than earned the right to say it.

If you want to tweak his tail, that’s your right too. Just don’t be surprised if you lose a hand while doing so. (Yes, speaking metaphorically, if the ‘tail’ part of it didn’t already give it away).

-wolfe

 
Comment by MansVoice
2007-08-24 21:18:07 - IP Man-Hash: de55713197a6e

Catherine said:
As females, we are free to exercise the right to do whatever the hell we feel like doing, whenever we feel like doing it. :)

Well, I am sure you have exercised your right of whoring around and trolling pretty well.

Talking about rights? Women. do. not. have. them.

 
Comment by son of the suns
2007-08-24 18:04:28 - IP Man-Hash: a41caf4a68abe

I can assure you my bite matches my bark.

One day perhaps a demonstration will be requisite.

 
Comment by Female
2007-08-24 17:43:47 - IP Man-Hash: eb931023b77c5

And thus sots rampant hostility for me goes on unabated. Poor sots.

Catherine, it’s funny and what they don’t realise is that the more harsh their insults and swearing, the funnier and more harmless they appear.

Makes me think of these
http://www2.unipr.it/~bottarel/epi/defin/puppies/puppies.jpg

 
Comment by son of the suns
2007-08-24 16:42:41 - IP Man-Hash: a41caf4a68abe

Catherine only in your imaginary life you fucking failure.

 
Comment by yoda
2007-08-24 16:31:51 - IP Man-Hash: 0e461adad7360

Pshh… terrible humor. I expected it to be much funnier… In my opinion what you named is all pretty common, regular food. Besides, it sounds as if you only ever date stupid ninnies. Who the fuck won’t try calamari?

 
Comment by Jo-dy fox
2007-08-21 16:11:50 - IP Man-Hash: 67efe4db945f9

That has to be the most bollock talking post I have ever read in my life and I’ve read some bad shit.
minus a billion man points for you tricky dicky

 
Comment by Catherine
2007-08-21 09:52:09 - IP Man-Hash: a8fc8ce9fb283

Female said:

Or post something that I might find interesting, calling me names, won’t have the desired effect.

I am also not in the mood to debate right now.

Have you found all that much of genuine interest here, Female? I’m still relatively new here, and I have found much to amuse me, some interesting characters, a good point here and there, and lots and lots for material for analyzing the male psychology, but very little I care to enter into a debate about.

These men seem happier for your harsh tutelage, but what are you getting out of it?

Sincere question, answer if you want to. Don’t have to. As females, we are free to exercise the right to do whatever the hell we feel like doing, whenever we feel like doing it. :)

 
Comment by MansVoice
2007-08-21 09:27:58 - IP Man-Hash: ff4893678328d

They cant accept the fact that they got kicked shitless and try to run to another issue then get pwned again and repeat the entire process. Dumb bitches.

 
Comment by Dutch269
2007-08-21 09:18:51 - IP Man-Hash: 6d2bcc78aa95d

Female said:

MansVoice said:

On our last debate(which i totally kicked the ass out of you as usual), you just fled off proclaiming you “wont talk to me” because i “oh so dont suck you off” and “speak your lingo”.

No, I don’t think so MansVoice. I think you and I both know that I definately did not say anything like that to you, and that you are either deliberately making it up or you are confusing me with someone else. If you want to have a debate with me, you just have to ask nicely :)

Or post something that I might find interesting, calling me names, won’t have the desired effect.

I am also not in the mood to debate right now.

hahaha.. your still around, doesnt this constitute trolling?

I especially like the>> “I am also not in the mood to debate right now”

That is such a typical female responce when they get owned. I really like it when they use it in the coporate environment, like where Im at, they use a similar statement when the work gets too demanding.

“I dont need this kind of frustration” or “This is not what Im suppose to be doing”

Always ready with an excuse, no matter what the situation is. Your pathetic ‘Female’, you and most of your gender.

 
Comment by MansVoice
2007-08-21 07:07:35 - IP Man-Hash: a7a16be1327f0

Oh, it wasnt a debate then. I just royally pawned whatever you said. Unlike you women who ride around points, missing out the important and unfair issues like the Ontario’s bills etc, we men tackle everything that is/was said so really, dont give me that bullshit crap. I take it then that everything you have not contested should be passed? Wait, it cant. Why? Because you are a hypocritical bitch.

I think calling you names have the desired effect of cracking you up.

Thanks for the smile though. It proves that women like jerks and abuse. Thats how women should be treated, owned eh? Feel free to be our property.

 
Comment by Female
2007-08-21 07:01:54 - IP Man-Hash: c406e944e31e4

MansVoice said:

On our last debate(which i totally kicked the ass out of you as usual), you just fled off proclaiming you “wont talk to me” because i “oh so dont suck you off” and “speak your lingo”.

No, I don’t think so MansVoice. I think you and I both know that I definately did not say anything like that to you, and that you are either deliberately making it up or you are confusing me with someone else. If you want to have a debate with me, you just have to ask nicely :)

Or post something that I might find interesting, calling me names, won’t have the desired effect.

I am also not in the mood to debate right now.

 
Comment by MansVoice
2007-08-21 06:41:12 - IP Man-Hash: a8014d2ff3afb

Female said:

What you don’t realise is that control is not something you can enforce, it is something that you can only have if someone allows you to have it, so therefore, in this new world of women’s empowerment, if a woman does give you control, you should perceive it as even more worthwhile

We men here at MABTW.com dont give a shit about women’s empowerment or women’s rights. Fuck, if a man’s dignity and respect has to be threatened by scum like you, it goes to show he got on the wrong “boat” and should just fucking get out.

You are a bitch through and through. You think that women deserve every thing. Well, look at the news bitch. It aint 1950 but you women are still lost and basically just screwing up. Get the fuck back into the kitchen. I gladly let you lead me if you were capable and can earn my respect.

You achieved neither. On our last debate(which i totally kicked the ass out of you as usual), you just fled off proclaiming you “wont talk to me” because i “oh so dont suck you off” and “speak your lingo”. Listen bitch, this was never a woman’s world. We men especially here at MABTW.com arent going to butter you up or give a shit about what you think. If you arent happy, thats fucking sad. Suck it up but just know, you CANT debate or argue for pie so stop doing a catherine and get off your high horse.

We men own you both at life and on this forum. Blow me away, bitch.

 
Comment by KellyMac
2007-08-20 21:40:29 - IP Man-Hash: 3f0439810d387

Oh? And what does “empowerment” mean to you? Definition, please. And be sure about it.

 
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