Women think if you leave a head of lettuce at the bowling alley, it will eventually turn into a bowling ball.

Now I don’t have anything personally against women, but that is fucking dumb.

Sack of dirt dumb.

Women also think having a bunch of male friends makes them better than other women. Women are raving, hateful misogynists in that way. Apparently “misogyny” means a hatred of women, and I can’t think of anything more hateful than thinking you’re better than someone just because you’re not friends with them. That borders on racism.

Women are also wrong. Having male friends doesn’t make a woman special or not a bitch. Actually, it makes her ten times the bitch.

Maybe women think these things about bowling balls and themselves because the majority of their lives revolve around laundry. If you put a bunch of white shit in with something red, all the whites get ruined. Well life doesn’t work that way.

Women with male friends are not more fun to be around — despite how often they repeat the exact opposite. Fun doesn’t work by osmosis. And fun sure and shit doesn’t work by telling everyone how fucking phenomenally fun and laid back you are. Being a fun person is like being a pedophile. The more you tell people you are one, the less likely they are to believe you.

Women who have only man-friends are also not magically less high maintenance than other women. They’re actually much more high maintenance. Just look at the numbers. They’re so high maintenance, they need five or eight guys just to keep their egos properly stoked. Does that sound fun to you?

If it does, you’re a man, so the first thing you wouldn’t do was hammer it down everyone’s throat. We get the fucking picture. You think you’re incredible. Now how exactly does that make you different from other women?

It doesn’t.

Where do women even get this shit? Do women think hanging around a bunch of pilots makes you a pilot? Do women who know mostly psychologists start charging by the hour to espouse their bullshit philosophies on life?

Women have no philosophies on life.

Women who have mostly male friends are just lazy. See, being friends with men is easy as ruining toast. Men are natural friendsters and that’s all there is too it. That’s why that myth about women not liking “nice guys” is so stupid. All men are nice. We’re like fucking Sesame Street.

Women are horrible friends. Actually, that’s the reason women hate sports. They’ve turned the act of being friends into a sport all on it’s own — a Bloodsport. It’s got winners and losers, consequences, and it’s as competitive, cut-throat, and bloody as boxing, hockey fights, and stabbing someone in the gut all rolled into one. To women, friendship is a sport — a sport by jackasses, for jackasses.

Women who have mostly male friends are just quitters. Or lousy competitors. Whatever they are, they’re not better than other women like they repeat time and time again. That should be the first give away. They’re still got all the same lesserness than men of other women, except they couldn’t stand the heat of the kitchen, so they took their sorry ass into the man-den to nurse their wounds.

What are we going to do, kick them out? Please. Men have been propping women up for a hundred thousand years.

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This entry was posted under Myths and Lores.