A Woman’s Shelf Life Is Not 30
A lot of people will tell you women are no good after the age of 30. It’s called a shelf life; the age at which the utility of a woman — the benefits of starting a relationship with her — no longer outweigh the staggering and nearly Herculean downsides. The second the clock strikes 12 on that fateful day, a woman’s skin wilts and her hands turn into wax paper. It’s not a pretty sight.
The real question is: is it true? Are women really that bad after 30? Should they be avoided at all costs?
No. Women’s shelf life isn’t 30. It’s 23.
You can’t fuck with women over 23 and I’ll tell you why. First of all, you have to keep in mind that no woman under the age of 23 has ever supported herself. She might have gotten a cute little job running errands for a playboy or selling clothes to other women under 23, but those aren’t real jobs. Real jobs have titles like Doctor or Junior Blank. Feel free to fill in that blank with your man-job.
At the age of 23, the real world hits women like a ton of fucking bricks going about a million miles an hour. That’s fine for us men. We’re made out of mighty man-putty. That’s why men are so flexible and fun to be around. We’re pliant and if you stick newspaper to our face, it leaves a copy behind without also acting like a total bitch about it for the next week.
Women, however, are as stubborn and stupid as cement mules. When real life comes tearing up the tracks of their 24th birthday, full of swearing and guys in suits who offer them 500 dollars in exchange for a blowjob for being in the obviously wrong place at the obviously wrong time, it shatters their fragile woman psyche.
As a man, psyches aren’t important. They’re a silly thing mostly left to psychoanalysts and other professions made specifically to pick up the pieces of things women have broken. Psyches are important to women though. And if they’re broken, women are fucked. They get all kinds of stupid ideas in their heads — kind of like opinions, but twisted and bent like you’re hearing them through a fun house mirror.
Women over the age of 23 have their heads screwed on the wrong fucking way and also have the threads misaligned so the screw in part gets all fucked up. That’s why college is such a colossal waste of money for women. It’s not like they need to learn anything. If women aren’t married by the time they’re 23, they’re fucked anyway. I don’t have the statistics for that on-hand, but I think it’s something like a woman over 23 has a better chance of being eaten by a bear on fire than getting married to someone who isn’t in prison.
Even if that’s not true, I’m not going to sit here and listen to anyone tell me women need to go to college to meet guys. College guys have parties and they don’t card hot women at the door for their fucking student IDs do they?
No, they don’t.
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No you don’t, diamatik, how can you when it makes no sense??!!!
got it!
@Diamatik heh.
As Dick said, originally,
What Jennifer wrote wasn’t awful; it at least responded to what Dick wrote. Well sort of. It didn’t respond to any of the conversation since then.
And the ‘eaten by a bear on fire’ thing is pretty funny. As an image and in words. There’s also the whole subtext going on there, but that I’ll leave as an exercise for the reader.
-wolfe
That bear on fire joke is way above my head. I’m guessing that it is a North American (pop) cultural reference?
@Billy, Diamatik I did like Jennifer’s final line about the bear on fire. Dick was right. But you’re correct, that didn’t redeem the rest of that paragraphless epistle.
@Jennifer sorry (since unlike most of the women you don’t come on cursing and making 10 posts at once), but what you just wrote reads like a babbling mushy stream of consciousness with personal information tossed in.
This may work if you’re trying to pick up guys at last call, but it doesn’t really contribute to this site.
Look (for example) at what Sparky or Luka write. They address other people’s comments in the thread. Not all of what they have to say is right, valid or interesting (though that’s probably true of everyone), but it’s not random mush either.
-wolfe
I don’t think she had a point. She was just doing what women do so well, simply putting words together and pretending to be communicating.
And these women who come here breaking the rules just can’t believe that there are heterosexual men who don’t want their company.
Western women are incredibly vain.
Woman, what is your point?
Funny you should mention that, Sandra. You might find this little tale instructive. It’s long, but the ending explains all.
-wolfe
Statistics show that the average age of marriage for women is 25-26 in the new century. I am aquainted with many young women, but I know of only one who got married under 23. Maybe it is because of my location vs. yours. (I live in central MD)She and her then boyfriend were living together and using the pill for birth control. It failed and oops the baby came. (your very common all contemporary American saga) They got married after the conception. Guess what? Three years later, he got caught cheating. It could be his fault, her fault, or both. Maybe she didn’t provide sex after a year’s marriage. Maybe he was shallow and desired something sexier than a post pregnancy stretch marked stomach jiggling on top of his _ _ _ _. Who knows. My cousin-in-law was married at age 25. My cousin on the other side was 33. One lady at work told me she got married at age 26. Seventy Five percent of people under 30 I know are single and never married. I am actually right at age 23 and am female. I am not married, so I guess I better watch out for that bear on fire.
Probably some new positions ;p
she even sucked at teaching me those lol
Probably some new positions ;p
One voice I jsut want to know one thing?
Did she actually teach you anything?
I fucked a teacher, she was a fairdinkum whore.
Sandra, read carefully. I was saying that women of that caliber usually flock to that profession IMO. It was what I witnessed.
“Furthermore, you will find the majority of these women flock to be a teacher or some other liberal arts medium and it is shameful how slutty they get. I am not saying all who aspire to teach are like this, but many are.”
one last thing, i don’t understand why you mentioned teachers.. i have a lot of respect for them. at least the ones who don’t just sit at their desk and give us “busy work”.. but how are “many” of them “slutty”?
-sandra
The words “woman” and “integrity” should never be used in the same sentence. Unless you were saying “Women have no integrity.”
No one cares. Fuck off.
Starting sentences with “anyways” and “so” makes you seem like the immature little girl that you are.
-Dick
yeah, it’s kind of embarrassing when girls come on here and freak out instead of making calm, rational posts they just resort to name-calling and a bunch of exclamation points. btw- those hundreds of bitchy posts under my 2 diff ‘man-hashes’ are NOT mine ['cept the ones under 'sandra' of course]. but then again, i don’t easily get ‘offended’ by things. i don’t agree with many of the things on this site, but i’m not going to try and ‘change’ how people think, because it’s not like i can in the first place. oh, and it’s not my right to either [; P.S. if you ever have any extra time and want to read something really short you can click my name and it will take you to my myspace pg. and you can read my latest blog that i posted. it’s called “you’re dying, but at least with style”; you might like it. [:
Well Sandra, look at how some women come on here. They freak out. I am not offended in the slightest about what Dick said. I’m 36 and not married, but am in a pretty good relationship. I’m not saying you do this, but some really lose it here. If there is no truth in what these guys are saying when it comes to you personally, then I don’t think they need the lecture they get from some of the gals. If I get married, he will know it is simply because I love him and want him, not because I need him. I have my own place and made my own way. What is sad is the majority of the women these days are just like Dick describes. It is a fact and you will see exactly how much integrity women lack. Yes, there are men like that, but women far exceed it. I am more pissed about them than what Dick says. It’s an opinion many women have earned.
You will find in your experiences in college, much of what I say is very true in regards to women’s intentions. Furthermore, you will find the majority of these women flock to be a teacher or some other liberal arts medium and it is shameful how slutty they get. I am not saying all who aspire to teach are like this, but many are. I find it amazing how these women strive to be on those crazy videos out there as well.
Being 36 years old, it is very true that women after 23 have less of a chance getting married. I think Dick missed into other reasons though. Women let themselves go. Why do you think more women are getting heart disease at alarmingly increasing rates? In a way, I was blessed to have inheritied a high cholesterol rate which makes me watch my diet and keep in shape. I find it very sad that women do this to themselves and sadder when a women lets herself go becasue she is “safe” and “snagged” a husband. It is fraud, pure and simple.
I’m going to college to learn, not meet guys/potential husbands. I’ve always cared about my schoolwork and grades. Dick said something about if you’re not married by 26, you’re screwed. That’s bullshit. Plenty of people get married past that age and nothing is wrong with you, guy or gal, if you’re not married by then. But anyways, I already got accepted to my 1st choice college back in December [and I'm so glad I don't have to do any more college applications]. But I can’t see how anyone can live w/ their parents any longer than they have to. I mean, I can’t imagine it feeling any good. You’re living in your mother’s basement, cmon. Where’s the integrity? And yeah, I agree with that last part Sparky; it’s pretty true.
-sandra