A Woman’s Shelf Life Is Not 30
A lot of people will tell you women are no good after the age of 30. It’s called a shelf life; the age at which the utility of a woman — the benefits of starting a relationship with her — no longer outweigh the staggering and nearly Herculean downsides. The second the clock strikes 12 on that fateful day, a woman’s skin wilts and her hands turn into wax paper. It’s not a pretty sight.
The real question is: is it true? Are women really that bad after 30? Should they be avoided at all costs?
No. Women’s shelf life isn’t 30. It’s 23.
You can’t fuck with women over 23 and I’ll tell you why. First of all, you have to keep in mind that no woman under the age of 23 has ever supported herself. She might have gotten a cute little job running errands for a playboy or selling clothes to other women under 23, but those aren’t real jobs. Real jobs have titles like Doctor or Junior Blank. Feel free to fill in that blank with your man-job.
At the age of 23, the real world hits women like a ton of fucking bricks going about a million miles an hour. That’s fine for us men. We’re made out of mighty man-putty. That’s why men are so flexible and fun to be around. We’re pliant and if you stick newspaper to our face, it leaves a copy behind without also acting like a total bitch about it for the next week.
Women, however, are as stubborn and stupid as cement mules. When real life comes tearing up the tracks of their 24th birthday, full of swearing and guys in suits who offer them 500 dollars in exchange for a blowjob for being in the obviously wrong place at the obviously wrong time, it shatters their fragile woman psyche.
As a man, psyches aren’t important. They’re a silly thing mostly left to psychoanalysts and other professions made specifically to pick up the pieces of things women have broken. Psyches are important to women though. And if they’re broken, women are fucked. They get all kinds of stupid ideas in their heads — kind of like opinions, but twisted and bent like you’re hearing them through a fun house mirror.
Women over the age of 23 have their heads screwed on the wrong fucking way and also have the threads misaligned so the screw in part gets all fucked up. That’s why college is such a colossal waste of money for women. It’s not like they need to learn anything. If women aren’t married by the time they’re 23, they’re fucked anyway. I don’t have the statistics for that on-hand, but I think it’s something like a woman over 23 has a better chance of being eaten by a bear on fire than getting married to someone who isn’t in prison.
Even if that’s not true, I’m not going to sit here and listen to anyone tell me women need to go to college to meet guys. College guys have parties and they don’t card hot women at the door for their fucking student IDs do they?
No, they don’t.
Related Articles:
September 15th, 2006 at 2:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
Good points, londog. That’s a shame to have happened to you.
-Dick
January 28th, 2007 at 5:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: be4d0b8b8e273
FUCK! I only have 5 years left on my expiry date. Shit!
January 28th, 2007 at 6:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd
damn, and im already 17. i better enjoy these last 6 yrs before im “no good and fucked up”.
January 28th, 2007 at 10:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2d5f294fd2234
Yeah Sandra you should hurry and get your whore on soon.
Get your STDs before you expire.
January 29th, 2007 at 9:33 am - IP Man-Hash: 74f0e4cb4ab20
I’m expired by 13 years, LOL. I got my masters by 30 after managing restauraunts and had to put myself through school. Education was king in my family growing up and I had to work my way through school waitressing, which is fine and I love being self sufficient. I noticed the majority of females I worked with who were in school were there to make spending money because they still lived at home and mommy and daddy paid their way. Their number one goal was finding a husband. At college. I was too busy studying and working to date. I run into these women today, and they are either divorced or unhappily married. They are no longer cute and pretty bitter. I almost took the plunge, but thank goodness I did not. I enjoy my career and my life and have found the best type of man is one that wasted time with an uneducated loser who was more worried about her next manicure or shopping excursion to waste his money.
Another thing Dick failed to mention is that women typically let themselves go, especially after they get married or after this age. To me, it is even more important to look even better after you find a partner. And whatever you do, realize that sex can be very enjoyable and don’t use it as a tool. They make jokes that after marriage, sex goes away. And the women are most likely to blame, which shows how stupid they are. They are the ones missing out too. If I were a man, I would be pissed off if the woman I ended up with did this.
Ladies, you can get pissed off at what you read and rant stupid bitchfits, or learn. Being as young as you say, take heed to what is being said here. Women in general only have themselves to blame that men think like this.
January 29th, 2007 at 9:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 2f2d948528fdf
I’m going to college to learn, not meet guys/potential husbands. I’ve always cared about my schoolwork and grades. Dick said something about if you’re not married by 26, you’re screwed. That’s bullshit. Plenty of people get married past that age and nothing is wrong with you, guy or gal, if you’re not married by then. But anyways, I already got accepted to my 1st choice college back in December [and I'm so glad I don't have to do any more college applications]. But I can’t see how anyone can live w/ their parents any longer than they have to. I mean, I can’t imagine it feeling any good. You’re living in your mother’s basement, cmon. Where’s the integrity? And yeah, I agree with that last part Sparky; it’s pretty true.
-sandra
January 29th, 2007 at 10:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 74f0e4cb4ab20
Well Sandra, look at how some women come on here. They freak out. I am not offended in the slightest about what Dick said. I’m 36 and not married, but am in a pretty good relationship. I’m not saying you do this, but some really lose it here. If there is no truth in what these guys are saying when it comes to you personally, then I don’t think they need the lecture they get from some of the gals. If I get married, he will know it is simply because I love him and want him, not because I need him. I have my own place and made my own way. What is sad is the majority of the women these days are just like Dick describes. It is a fact and you will see exactly how much integrity women lack. Yes, there are men like that, but women far exceed it. I am more pissed about them than what Dick says. It’s an opinion many women have earned.
You will find in your experiences in college, much of what I say is very true in regards to women’s intentions. Furthermore, you will find the majority of these women flock to be a teacher or some other liberal arts medium and it is shameful how slutty they get. I am not saying all who aspire to teach are like this, but many are. I find it amazing how these women strive to be on those crazy videos out there as well.
Being 36 years old, it is very true that women after 23 have less of a chance getting married. I think Dick missed into other reasons though. Women let themselves go. Why do you think more women are getting heart disease at alarmingly increasing rates? In a way, I was blessed to have inheritied a high cholesterol rate which makes me watch my diet and keep in shape. I find it very sad that women do this to themselves and sadder when a women lets herself go becasue she is “safe” and “snagged” a husband. It is fraud, pure and simple.
January 29th, 2007 at 11:37 am - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd
yeah, it’s kind of embarrassing when girls come on here and freak out instead of making calm, rational posts they just resort to name-calling and a bunch of exclamation points. btw- those hundreds of bitchy posts under my 2 diff ‘man-hashes’ are NOT mine ['cept the ones under 'sandra' of course]. but then again, i don’t easily get ‘offended’ by things. i don’t agree with many of the things on this site, but i’m not going to try and ‘change’ how people think, because it’s not like i can in the first place. oh, and it’s not my right to either [; P.S. if you ever have any extra time and want to read something really short you can click my name and it will take you to my myspace pg. and you can read my latest blog that i posted. it’s called “you’re dying, but at least with style”; you might like it. [:
January 29th, 2007 at 12:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
No one cares. Fuck off.
Starting sentences with “anyways” and “so” makes you seem like the immature little girl that you are.
-Dick
January 29th, 2007 at 12:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2d5f294fd2234
The words “woman” and “integrity” should never be used in the same sentence. Unless you were saying “Women have no integrity.”
January 29th, 2007 at 12:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd
“Furthermore, you will find the majority of these women flock to be a teacher or some other liberal arts medium and it is shameful how slutty they get. I am not saying all who aspire to teach are like this, but many are.”
one last thing, i don’t understand why you mentioned teachers.. i have a lot of respect for them. at least the ones who don’t just sit at their desk and give us “busy work”.. but how are “many” of them “slutty”?
-sandra
January 29th, 2007 at 12:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: 74f0e4cb4ab20
Sandra, read carefully. I was saying that women of that caliber usually flock to that profession IMO. It was what I witnessed.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 796c1d8aebfd3
I fucked a teacher, she was a fairdinkum whore.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:14 am - IP Man-Hash: 2d5f294fd2234
One voice I jsut want to know one thing?
Did she actually teach you anything?
January 30th, 2007 at 5:28 am - IP Man-Hash: b9b7e9fe9772b
Probably some new positions ;p
January 30th, 2007 at 11:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 796c1d8aebfd3
Probably some new positions ;p
she even sucked at teaching me those lol
January 30th, 2007 at 2:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8348ee9169e59
Statistics show that the average age of marriage for women is 25-26 in the new century. I am aquainted with many young women, but I know of only one who got married under 23. Maybe it is because of my location vs. yours. (I live in central MD)She and her then boyfriend were living together and using the pill for birth control. It failed and oops the baby came. (your very common all contemporary American saga) They got married after the conception. Guess what? Three years later, he got caught cheating. It could be his fault, her fault, or both. Maybe she didn’t provide sex after a year’s marriage. Maybe he was shallow and desired something sexier than a post pregnancy stretch marked stomach jiggling on top of his _ _ _ _. Who knows. My cousin-in-law was married at age 25. My cousin on the other side was 33. One lady at work told me she got married at age 26. Seventy Five percent of people under 30 I know are single and never married. I am actually right at age 23 and am female. I am not married, so I guess I better watch out for that bear on fire.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 001a1de92075b
Funny you should mention that, Sandra. You might find this little tale instructive. It’s long, but the ending explains all.
-wolfe
January 30th, 2007 at 5:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: eb4745eb5ea9e
Woman, what is your point?
January 30th, 2007 at 10:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2d5f294fd2234
I don’t think she had a point. She was just doing what women do so well, simply putting words together and pretending to be communicating.
And these women who come here breaking the rules just can’t believe that there are heterosexual men who don’t want their company.
Western women are incredibly vain.