Yoga Is For Sluts
In my second installment of Dick’s Week of Honorary Men, I would like to honor Kristina Kireeva. As you can tell by her first name, she’s a woman, and that makes her the MenAreBetterThanWomen.com Honorary Man of the Month for October. Good work Miss October.
You can follow the links at the bottom of this article (and I highly recommend you do), but I will sum it up for you here. That’s part of the reason men are so good at everything by the way. If one man does the work, that man shares it with other men. Women keep secrets like they’re poisonous.
Like everything I say about women, I didn’t know how brilliant that was until I proof read it — which as a man I never do.
Kristina Kireeva is a human sex toy — or human pretzel. I don’t know which is more accurate. While the videos I link to range from erotic to horrifying, the message is clear: women doing yoga has fucking nothing to do with health and fitness.
That is a myth.
Women all over the civilized globe are ga-ga for Yoga. In fact, some are calling it the “Babies of the 21st century”. Feel free to use that, it’s actually only myself who’s calling it that thus far. My point is: women couldn’t care fucking less about health and fitness. They’re just as lazy and gold-bricking as they ever have been. Women, however, are obsessed with sex.
When dealing with women, it’s important to remember rule #1: Everything women do is meant to attract men. Women who are into yoga are just women who are really, really into sex and want all men at the gym to know about it. They also want any men who get in their car to know about it. That’s why they leave those rubber stinking mats in their backseat until they can’t fucking smell anymore.
These women think about sex all day most likely. I don’t know. I try not to spend a lot of time pontificating on how women think. There was some Twilight Zone episode about that one time. I believe some kind of alien trash was left somewhere and all sorts of brilliant men minds wasted thousands of collective hours ruminating on what amounted to shit. That’s the same thing.
If that wasn’t an actual Twilight Zone, it doesn’t matter because it obviously should have been. Use your man-magination.
Kristina “The Human Sex Toy” Kireeva is a woman obsessed with yoga. I’m honoring her this month with my most prestigious award because of her work to expose yoga as the kinky and delectable woman-hobby that it is. After all, why else would she post — nay, film in the first place, a video of herself in sexually suggesting and compromising “yoga” positions? There can be no other reason; except perhaps in some kind of dimension where outrageous things such as that are the norm.
This is reality though, and the Smurfs are not fucking real.
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September 20th, 2006 at 10:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 05bdcb82f843a
Huh. The position at 00:34 in the video can only have one meaning:
“Hey, boys, check this out! You can do me doggy-style and still look me directly in the eyes!
September 21st, 2006 at 1:13 am - IP Man-Hash: a5f1091917224
I thought a similar thing (albeit, my thoughts were more along the lines of the easy transition of my member from her muff to her mouth and more). That video was like some wierd form of softcore porn to me.
September 21st, 2006 at 1:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Which of course instantly invalidates one of the primary features [for many men] of that particular sexual position.
-wolfe
September 21st, 2006 at 6:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 68cb7479382dc
Can you say “attention whore”? Good, I knew you could do it!
I agree that’s almost like soft-core porn. It even includes the cheesy porn-music. You know, if it was a man doing that, he’d say “You stretch this way for this benefit, and you stretch this other way for this other benefit.”. Not so with this broad. She’s all like “Look at me, look how sexual I am.” Not even a smile, like she’s enjoying it.
September 21st, 2006 at 7:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
A few moments there I could swear pop went the beaver. She’d have a bright career as a drive belt, I’ll say that much.
September 21st, 2006 at 8:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 4808ac470114c
I’m reminded of Roy and HG’s commentary at the gymnastics during the Sydney Olympics.
The expressions “cop that” and “look at me” were regulars and are apt for Kristina in spades.
September 21st, 2006 at 5:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
That was funny.
-Dick
September 22nd, 2006 at 8:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 1a21605bad716
Absolutely ground-breaking exposure of horny women faking physical Education! Way to go, Dick……………..u da man!!
September 23rd, 2006 at 7:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 1a4ed84419c7b
its so true yoga is totally for sluts.
my ex did yoga all the time and she was the biggest slut i ever glazed.
but she sure wasnt no kristina…
now if all women came like that one they might actually be worth tolerating.
September 23rd, 2006 at 12:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: ad90658118e52
“WOMEN KEEP SECRETS LIKE THEY ARE POISONOUS.”
OK… THAT(!!!!!!) is the funniest, most accurate, BEST way of saying it I can possibly think of. When I read I could practically HEAR her spit it out.
Great laugh. Thanks.
- CK
September 24th, 2006 at 12:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
So which is it - which is worse, a dead-fish of a chick or a bendy peach-fish of a chick who might actually be able to ’switch-it-up’ a bit…in the bedroom, on the kitchen counter, the backyard gazebo, etc.?
Now you’re whining about the fact that she’s not smiling…what do you care?
You guys are changing the parameters of the basis of your complaints more often than you do the dishes [properly].
September 24th, 2006 at 2:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
I actually understood what she wrote. I guess Satan won’t be needing that ‘rheem’ anymore.
September 24th, 2006 at 2:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
Your ’spankings’ were not in vain [vein?]!
Oops, sorry I regressed momentarily…but seriously, I want to thank ‘you’ for…everything.
It was truly the most dull of experiences for me writing that comment, but I do realize the value in it.
September 25th, 2006 at 9:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: fcd0d386eb9be
It’s a skill we’ve picked up from feminists. Mind you we have a way to go. At the moment we can only manage it a couple of times a day. Women achieve it every time they open their mouths.
October 4th, 2006 at 1:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: d96b9dbfcc173
“…and if you act now, I’ll throw in a free choice of a blow job or anal! Act now! Cash only!”
October 5th, 2006 at 6:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0363c503d25ea
wow.
all i can say on this one.
October 6th, 2006 at 8:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 0d17ac160ff85
I liked how her toes curled when when she assumed the anal position.
Way to go, baby! 10 out of 10!!
This is one thing women seem to do quite well. Stick with it!
October 7th, 2006 at 4:19 am - IP Man-Hash: a8cd80253d019
could you clarify which it is that ‘women seem to do quite well.’: the curling of toes [during/in anticipation of, the anal position], or [not only striking, ]but the anal position itself…
with baited breath,
k.
October 7th, 2006 at 4:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
If [only] it isn’t [/weren't] the chipmonk that goes flaming apeshit. Again.
October 7th, 2006 at 5:57 am - IP Man-Hash: eab4c21bb6be5
It’s bated breath, bitch! Thanks for helping to fuck-up the english language.
October 7th, 2006 at 12:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: a8cd80253d019
Yum, you’ve both given me so much to sink my teeth into that I can barely choose where to start.
Chipmonks, apes, …I bet you’ve got a couple of cages of hamsters in the basement for your ‘python’…so feisty…or is it fisty…let’s ask Richard Gere shall we.
It’s bated breath, bitch! Thanks for helping to fuck-up the english language.
I am always happy to help, however in this case I will be helping you to grasp [left or right, it's your choice entirely and solely because I imagine that few would be willing to join/grasp you] the concept of p-u-n [http://www.answers.com/topic/pun].
Also, please diamatik, when I fuck something [up] I do it with much more vigor than that!
Let me know when you’re ready for me to explain [or illustrate with your crayons] my bated/baited pun.
On an up-note nice alliteration with the ‘bated breath bitch’ - amateurish for certain, but I have every confidence that your learning curve will have the dual purpose of assisting you in your evolutionary climb as well as give you a reason to still call yourself a man.
October 7th, 2006 at 12:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4657e56d12e8e
In her case, she might be right.
-Dick
October 7th, 2006 at 12:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: a8cd80253d019
Mmmm, you’ve given me so much to sink my teet-h into…you guys are the best!
Chipmonks, apes…I suspect that you have a closet full of r.a.w. [ready and willing] hamsters for your ‘python’…do you look like Richard Gere too? Nevermind if you don’t, just being so feisty[, or is it fist-y,] is definitely your strong suit.
And thanks for the “falming” adverb, it was a rather ‘hot’ comment…if I do say so myself…’out of the mouths of babes…’
It’s bated breath, bitch! Thanks for helping to fuck-up the english language.
Hey, np, I’m always happy to help/lend a hand, or whatever…even when it comes to tutoring you on your next literary term that most of us know as what is called a p-u-n [please see http://www.answers.com/topic/pun , but only if you feel that you're ready for it.]
On the bright side you seem to have the alliteration thing down ["bated breath, bitch"]. Well done…and I can truly appreciate it even though I prefer my meat rare/medium rare.
Just let me know when you’re r.a.w. to listen to the concept of my p-u-n, but I won’t hold my breath [hint: which is why I didn't use the word 'bated' - even your linked page indicates that this spelling has much to do, originally, with the concept of 'holding one's breath while waiting' for the absolute apeshits to catch up with the clever cunts].
Thanks for the benefit of the doubt despite that I doubt the benefit of
anything coming from you.
October 8th, 2006 at 6:16 am - IP Man-Hash: eab4c21bb6be5
Good point, Dick. Perhaps that is why they say it smells like fish.
October 9th, 2006 at 6:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: c3e6ad25dbabc
First, good point, diamatik.
Second, I wonder why she needs clarification?
October 21st, 2006 at 9:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 757e7217dfee4
What???? All women do yoga for sex??? This is new to me!!!Have you been hurt by a female? I do yoga …most women do not do yoga for sex….maybe you should do some yoga…..
October 21st, 2006 at 10:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Men don’t do yoga. Unless it’s their stratagem for getting into Cynthia’s pants.
You see, we’re not feeble, mindless little drones that will prance on the first stupid fad they see for some attention whoring.
October 22nd, 2006 at 4:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 8df4b9656c70a
Not true. Men do yoga, pilates, spin classes, boxercise and even the old skool step class. They love it.
October 22nd, 2006 at 5:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 2743dcf9ed370
And I guess your definition of most is roughly 3%, oui?
November 4th, 2006 at 12:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 807dbaeb4f75f
HOLY CRAP! For visual stimulation this video rocks!!!
November 5th, 2006 at 2:39 am - IP Man-Hash: a5d80956a3e6c
Um. Dick, what that girl is doing is not yoga, she is a contortionist. A lot of what she is doing is gymnastic exercises and stretches for flexibility, there is hardly a single yoga pose or stretch throughout that whole clip.
November 5th, 2006 at 3:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 04ad1fd5ac10c
same difference!
November 5th, 2006 at 10:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0a66d10276b0f
those arent men those are trannies in training.
November 6th, 2006 at 1:27 am - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
As in PEACHFISH.
November 6th, 2006 at 2:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 0da7033fa810a
Did you know, you silly femists on this site, that many yoga positions were invented because it actually redueces the pain for a virgin and increases the pleasure during their first time? Chew on that for a while.
November 6th, 2006 at 2:57 am - IP Man-Hash: 3b4de9c6da271
My god, I am not astounded by the video which supposedly proves that chicks who do yoga are sex hungry sluts, but by this fine example of a man proving that all men think about is sex and commonly objectify women. This article just makes men look bad. Not only is it not yoga, but I am quite sure that doing yoga is not a reason to be promiscuous. When you see the guys from cirque de solei do you automatically think how slutty they must be? Sure, seeing a fit good looking girl doing some kind of circus act, and viewing the shape of her vagina from all different positions could well be seen as soft porn but falls far short of being an example of the promiscuity of chicks who do yoga.
November 6th, 2006 at 3:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Speaking as a true yoga chick.
November 6th, 2006 at 4:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 8df4b9656c70a
Not everyone who disagrees with Dick’s opinion is necessarily a woman, Sonyad. Just because everyone thinks you’re one, does that mean you are? Who cares what Dick thinks anyway, I don’t even think he cares what he thinks, the video was simply gratuitous titillation for the sexually deprived men on this site, which obviously doesn’t include Dan from Sydney.
November 6th, 2006 at 1:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
You might be on to something there. I wonder whose.
- Rolling Stones - Sympathy For The Devil
November 6th, 2006 at 5:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
Glad you found this website useful, Dan.
-Dick
November 6th, 2006 at 8:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: e403c09011034
Hi Dan, shut the fuck up.
November 7th, 2006 at 5:00 am - IP Man-Hash: 3b4de9c6da271
No really, there’s real porn out there guys. That is if you can be arsed doing any kind of internet search, although picking up an actual woman would probably involve leaving the house. That sounds a bit too much like exercise. Now there’s a thought I here yoga’s pretty good…..
November 7th, 2006 at 7:54 am - IP Man-Hash: 312730fd87524
Yes, as a veteran I’m terrified of exercise and have never done it before. Mangina.
November 8th, 2006 at 12:35 am - IP Man-Hash: a282286cee73c
Female you farking rattlebox if you didn’t care what Dick had to say then why would you bring your dumbass back here regularly like a bitch dog going after its own vomit?
Damn.. I guess you are too stupid to see how stupid you sound.
November 8th, 2006 at 1:16 am - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
‘FEMALE’ may be too busy hearing (*) how stupid YOU sound (*), nevermind seeing (**) how stupid YOU appear (**) to be.
…
(*) we hear sounds, and…
(**) see what appears…
…
On the other hand, your sensory misconceptions do explain alot…
November 8th, 2006 at 3:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Cuddlefish, FYI I suffer from woman induced synaesthesia. I hear red and (fore)see pain if a woman is driving in my sight.
- Morandi - a la lujeba
November 8th, 2006 at 5:02 am - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
is that adventitious or congenital synaesthesia?
November 8th, 2006 at 5:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Developed, not inherited. Medium, factor of pathology.
- Xzibit - X
November 8th, 2006 at 6:14 am - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
oh, so you’ve fucked alot of psychics, but don’t descend from a familial cognitive [r]evolution then?
November 8th, 2006 at 6:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Your comment is proving obfuscating for my powers comprehension.
If he hears, he’ll knock all day…
-//-
November 8th, 2006 at 11:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
Well said, Billy.
-Dick
November 8th, 2006 at 12:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
In true monkey-see-monkey-do form, ‘Well said, Dick.’
November 8th, 2006 at 1:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Repetitio mater studiorum est. Peachy keen on peachy queen.
- Shea Seger - Cluch
November 8th, 2006 at 1:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
Going out on a limb [that is your leg, isn't it...]…
… I’m gonna surmise that: ‘practice makes perfect’…
[now i'll go and get the proper translation...with both hands...]
November 8th, 2006 at 1:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
No, that’s a membre. Or is it a member? Golly me, a hiatus.
Either way, it’s no Republican. By the looks of it, might well be their long lost trunk, though. They’re still out looking for their honesty and aptitudes but hopes are high, if nothing else is.
Sorry, but now you’re just being laconically vague. It’s all a misty haze. Care to elaborate, or was the ambiguity deliberate? I cannot hope to construe your underlying meaning bereft of assistance.
- INXS - Suicide Blonde
November 8th, 2006 at 2:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
Me neither, that’s precisely why I should have bought shares in ‘Gillette’…
November 8th, 2006 at 10:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: a282286cee73c
But you don’t need to own shares to get a blade and slash your wrist. Go quickly, times a wasting!
November 8th, 2006 at 10:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
That would be the unfortunate loss of a perfectly good peach. Fish.
- G-Unit - My Buddy
November 9th, 2006 at 1:00 am - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
My Gillette discovery involves removing the blade on those battery-fueled shavers thus rendering them not only portable, but water-resistant, etc.
What a coup!
March 3rd, 2007 at 3:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: 73f9de907ea55
In what was is yoga actually a martial art? its purely sexual and for women to get in touch with those sexual feelings.
March 3rd, 2007 at 3:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 73f9de907ea55
In what was is yoga actually a martial art? its purely sexual and for women to get in touch with those sexual feelings.
There is no guy that does those unless hes gay or wants to get some action or atleast watch some girls stretch. Comon its only girls that trully enjoy it and just to perpetuate their manipulative sexuality.
June 6th, 2007 at 9:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 191242b12610c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbPJdEtqHJU
look at these hos saying they need love too?
These porn whores are hillarious.This just shows that women will never take responsiblity and accountability for not being able to get a man.
June 6th, 2007 at 10:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 200833d0ba0b3
Wasn’t there another article on this exact same site about how women hate sex because they’re terrible at it? So now what you’re trying to say is that women hate sex and are terrible at it, yet nonetheless are thinking about sex all day and are obsessed with it, and also happen to have many sexual skills derived from Yoga?
I’m sensing bullshit.
June 6th, 2007 at 10:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 200833d0ba0b3
In fact, not to be rude, because I can’t presume, but tell me Mr. Masterson, what’s your educational background?
June 6th, 2007 at 10:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
Past the grade that teaches commas.
-Dick
June 7th, 2007 at 12:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 200833d0ba0b3
That didn’t answer my question.
June 7th, 2007 at 12:09 am - IP Man-Hash: 200833d0ba0b3
And yes, I stand corrected, not only is that a run on sentence but it is also phrased poorly. It should read ” Please don’t think that I am trying to be rude or presumptuous, Mr. Masterson, but I would like to know what your educational background is.”
Any more evasions for me?
June 7th, 2007 at 2:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 33b64bce6a7d6
It’s a compinsation mechanism. They don’t think about the act of sex, they think of exactly what they’re worth as the provider of pleasure. They never have escaped the God-gifted biological impediments they have - and they will always be there. It’s a joy of girlhood.
And consider that, evolution wise, if girls fucked everything that moved while the men were out at war, they would probably get their heads chopped off, skulls bashed in, etc. They wouldn’t have a bitchy conversation with their prize pig about how it was their fault for not satisfying ‘her needs as a woman.’ No, if a girl tried to pull that shit, it would go something like this…
‘Fuck you, I had to che-’
WHAM!
And having half of your teeth cracked tends to be poor for your health. So the female orgasm is just a ruse to make it clear the man is doing the right thing. It’s not pleasurable - in fact, quite the contrary. What else keeps schoolgirls from flying out of their short skirts and riding every man’s cock?
Of course, if they weren’t such slut-prudes about it, they wouldn’t have driven that Cho guy insane. For the safety of our students, we must phase out many of the privilages the superior femme race enjoys.
June 7th, 2007 at 2:22 am -