You’re a Peein’
I was at the doctor’s office a few days ago getting my hand X-rayed after punching this fuck-head in the throat during the Super Bowl, and I learned an interesting statistic.
88% of women wash their hands after using the restroom.
66% of men do the same.
Urine is sterile, fellows and gentleman. You’re washing your hands too goddamn much.
Urine is as sterile as washing your hands after going to the bathroom is womanly.
Here’s another interesting statistic that I didn’t see broadcast on the 8 hour loop of CNN Health starring Dr. Sanjay Gupta and some woman with an amazing rack. By the way, to the producers of The New American Gladiators, when it comes to women hosting your shows, always pick rack over experience. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel by giving it a boxing title no one gives a fuck about.
0% of my dick is dirty.
When I go to the bathroom, I touch my pants — no need to wash anything after doing that — then I touch The Penis briefly. At no point in this pants/penis campaign is there anything gross or dirty being touched that would necessitate a hand washing. If anything, my penis is the cleanest part of my person. I might not have washed the jeans I’m wearing today, but I damn sure washed The Penis. It’s clean enough to eat off of.
That’s why men wash our hands after using the bathroom at a rate of 66% versus the womanly 88%. We’re not filthy.
Going to the bathroom for men doesn’t require maintenance on par with laying bricks. For those of you who haven’t laid a lot of brick in your life — literally, not metaphorically — doing so requires a lot of wiping and tidying of seams. When this is done with bricks it’s very manly, but when it’s done with a vagina not only is it womanly, it’s disgusting.
12% of women are fucking disgusting.
Washing your hands after going to the bathroom is like birth control. All women need to be doing it and men shouldn’t give a fuck about it. It’s not our vagina that’s the problem.
Metaphorically “laying brick” means to take a shit in multiple friend’s bathrooms in the same day. It is a truly repugnant practical joke that will gain you many Man Points.
If you’re French going into the bathroom, and you’re Spanish coming out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom?
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The reason you should wash your hands in the bathroom no matter what you did in there is that so few other people wash their hands after defecation. Also, regular hand washing is useful in preventing sickness, and should be done any time before you are going to touch your face, eat, or anything that might pass germs from your hand to your system.
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Wow, that’s an amazing excuse to be totally DISGUSTING!!!! Holy shit -_-
I wanna show you something,
Well, I for one do not wash after a piss, because I don’t even need to. If I wanted to, I could go without having to physically touch myself at all. Just walk up, unzip, and let flow, not spilling a drop. totally mastery. Ever seen a woman piss. It’s a fucking mess.
hahaha yes! i like that. good one chris.
I never wash my hands after i piss, even if im going to eat immediately after
Here is another definition of “laying brick”
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=laying+brick
Proper Washing Of The Hands! Because if anyone knows about it, it’s someone who bleeds 2 to 5 days a month…oh wait..
A-FUCKING-MEN.
We wash our hands after shaking hands with your fat, filthy cow hoof.
Add two more stupid cunts to this infinitely long list…
I call BS.
Hey Billy, why dont you take your own dick and stick it in your own mouth. Careful of that herpes you caught last night, you wouldnt wanna get that on your lip.
Do wash your hands after wiping your ass?
Hey Dick,
Jump off that bridge over there.
Well buddy, why dont you take your clean penis and throw it on the grill. Kabob that bitch up and feed a starving family of homos.
I’m actually an expert on this subject and I wash sometimes before I piss because, like Dick Masterson, I agree that my Penis is the cleanest part of my body. If I’m at home I don’t wash prior normally and almost never afterwards but definitely if I’m at work. Of course, the Penis is covered in bacteria just like every other inch of your body but for me it is much cleaner than my hands which is why I have to wash prior.
The truth is the Penis is damn clean if someone cleans their anus with water and is circumcised and does not harbor any STD’s. This also means the person showers thoroughly every morning, has his pubic hair trimmed, and does not sweat like a hog. If your not circumcised you better wash after pissing if your in public, but at home thats totally unnecessary. Another truth is the vagina’s of most women are really filthy because they have such poor hygenic practices. Apparently daily showering is not high on the to-do list for many women.
Sarah is truly a fucking idiot along with all the other women who have visited and decided to comment on this website. It is almost astonishing that they say the things they do and don’t even realize how utterly retarded what they have said is. I think this is related to the fact that in public, we men do not hold them accountable for the dumb shit they say. We just ignore it and move on. The result is that every woman thinks she has something fucking incredible to contribute to the conversation when in reality it is painful and obnoxious to read or listen to.
Dick, you rock dude.
Researchers found that the nastiest desk areas or cubicles at work are the womens cubicles. Women that don’t wash after a visit to the restroom are just plain nasty.
If anything you should wash before you piss
The penis is not sterile. The entire pubic region of both men and women is covered with fecal coliform bacteria from the anus. You can’t even wash it off entirely because it gets in the pores of the skin. See http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_220.html. Wash your hands every time you urinate or defecate!
Whether you want to wash your hands or not is your business. If you are at home and you are convinced you arent dirty, fine whatever, in public however SOOOOO DIRTY! People touch their dicks and wipe their asses (talking about the men’s bathroom right now) and you dont know, they could have herpes, or some virus… or anything!!! EW! No thanks! Same goes for the women’s bathroom… the fact you are a dirtbag and don’t wash your hands just shows how stupid you really are.
haven’t given head in years. have no interest in it. so, apparently, i’m “good for nothing.” good for nothing to a bunch of penial obsessed men. oooooooooh the horror! hahahaha.
dearest zardoz,
your facts are wrong. ask a sex expert where most baterial infections come from. (the head of the penis)
if men aren’t even washing their hands after urination, what does that say about their hygiene in general?
i am by no means a fat woman.
i have no particular interest in penis.
you are WRONG, WRONG, and WRONG AGAIN. but, oh, yeah men are better than women at researching facts and not speaking out of assumption based sheerly on defensive tendencies.
A REAL Man goes the Veterinarian. Yeah…………..
ive never washed my hands after pissing
only fuckwits do that
Loss of manpoints for going to the doctor.
Steve, I would like to call attention to the one degree of separation between me watching CNN and educating men about some broad’s awesome rack. I call that a Man Point reversal.
-Dick
I always find it amusing how people place so much importance on sterility of the items we use. Would any of you want to drink raw sewage that had been sterilized through boiling? Simply because something’s sterile is not reason enough for me to allow it in my mouth.
I wash my hands after using the bathroom because I don’t want any trace of urine on my hands and it’s an convienent way to remove the cold virus from my fingers. Most colds are transfered from the people touching their face with fingers containing the virus. Periodic washings throughout the day remove many of them.
Oh, and Dick, -100 manpoints for watching CNN and another -200 for admitting it.
Honestly I wash hands BEFORE peeing to touch my dick with clean hands. One should wash his dick or get it washed :) daily so it remains always clean.
Yada yada…
Another ignorant Bitch that knows nothing. Go stick a clean dick in your nasty mouth and stroke a few by hand.
That is all you’re good for.
Aside from being bullshit, I think you need a few lessons in anatomy so people understand what bullshit you’re attempting to talk about. Any urologist will tell you that the male genitals are particularly NOT prone to bacterial infection unless the man in question has the most grotesque personal habits, or has contracted an STD.
Who in fuck cares what you think? Did anyone ask you? Yet another worthless whore that feels upset by reality. The fact you even think we’re “dick obsessed” is based purely on your own obsession with the male appendage. Judging others after yourself is not valid argument nor rational assessment, but rather projection of your own character flaws.
You also speak for yourself in plural, as though pretending to be more than you are adds weight to your meaningless and trite observations. You might weigh as much as two normal people, but that does not make you an “us” or a “we” it just makes you fat.
So, because we do not worship vagina and speak honestly about how unclean most women’s poor habits of hygiene are, we must be gay, is your conclusion then? Just get the fuck off this website…
Any doctor can tell you just how dirty the penis actually is. In fact, the area directly under the head often harbors ungodly amounts of bacteria…with or without recent vaginal encounters.
It sounds to me like you are all a bunch of dick obsessed males. That, in and of itself, is alright, but are you sure you’re heterosexual? Making references to vagina in such a manner leads most of us to believe otherwise.
@gwallan indeed. One should also wash before and after sex, which points to the importance of oral hygiene for women.
-wolfe
Keep your penis clean. Wash before you pee.
Hey guys, look at those femhags trying to be men.They want to pee like us…
http://www.pmate.de/gallery/04_Urinal_Aug2006/urinal_001.htm
http://www.pmate.de/gallery/04_Urinal_Aug2006/urinal_004.htm
Freud was so right about penis envy.
MABTW
wait- how’s your hand? and how’s the dude? can’t you kill a guy that way?
Hahaha fucking ouch!!! That was funny.
*D3C*
Clap ON, Clap OFF, Clap Bitch, Its’…….the……Clapper!
Sick Dicks usually come from Sick women.
Of varying nationalities, sometimes even in bathrooms.
That is why you wear a condom, gentlemen.
Plus, it is only sick after the Doctor tells you for sure, or bumps show up.
Curving to the left is your own fault.
Good thing though, if it is the clap, I have a Ball Peen Hammer right here I can fix it with. The dog vet down the street swears it works.
One smack, and you will know why rubbers are so useful.
european
i wash my hands befor i go pee. it is everything you touch throughout the day that is gross…dont want to get my clean dick sick !!
You are Canadian, possibly turning Japanese whilst in the bathroom.
It follows that if you have not washed your penis since it was last in a cunt then washing your hands is more than appropriate after a piss. Then again, who doesn’t wash their cock after it’s been dragged through the cesspit that is a woman’s vagina?
Think you fucked up on your math somewhere.
I’m back from teaching in Asia and you better believe that I wash my hands after doing a pee.
Hands get dirty quickly and you can easily pick up other people’s sicknesses that way, which is why so many people wash their hands.
I would just wash my hands because of how nasty a place is not because I touched my cock.
Ever see a urinal that needs a shave?
Zaphod